And Here I'll Stay

by Rita Hestand

  "Sounds good to me."

  "But I've got to get up, darlin'."

  "I know," she leaned and kissed his hard nipple.

  "Stop that, or I won't get up at all." He teased.

  "I never dreamed it could be so wonderful, I never dreamed I'd like it so much either." she giggled. "Am I evil for liking the way you love me?"

  "No darlin' there isn't anything evil about you. We are married now and have every right to love each other."

  "Am I enough woman for you?"

  He raised up and smiled sexily at her, "Darlin' you are more than enough woman. And I'm proud to say you are my woman now, every inch of you. I don't think we have to worry about our marriage, ever again." He told her. "And from now on, you'll sleep with me. We're one, like the bible says and we're going to stay that way, no matter what! You understand, no matter what."

  "I like that," she smiled and kissed him.

  "I wish I had time; I'd take you again."

  "I'll be here when you come home." She smiled.

  He looked seriously into her eyes now, "I love you Anna Lee. I always have. Remember that and keep it tucked away in your heart. Don't you ever forget it. Don't let anyone ever tell you differently. We're together in this."

  "I know now. I've never loved anyone like I love you." She smiled. "And I never dreamed I'd feel so comfortable, here in your bed, naked."

  "Darlin', I'd keep you in this bed always, if I could."

  She smiled from his words.

  "There's something I have to know. It's not an ego thing, it's just well, I've questioned my womanhood many times as the tomboy label got put on me early. Did I do alright?" she asked him out of the blue.

  He chuckled throwing back his head with pure laughter and stared into her serious expression. "Darlin', if you were any better, I'd be dead." He chuckled.

  She pulled his chin around to stare into his eyes, "The way you loved me last night. Is it always this good between married people?"

  He stared into her eyes with a sexy smile, touching her cheek, as she laid it against his hand. "Only when two people really love each other, is it this good. We made passionate love to each other. Love is beautiful, sex is much different. I know the difference."

  "How would you know that?"

  "I've had a few whores in my lifetime."

  "I don't believe it, you had whores?" she sat up. "You?"

  He pulled her down into his arms and smiled at her, "When a man wants a woman, and he can't have her, he takes a whore instead."

  "He does?" she looked up at him innocently.

  His glance was compassionate. "That summer, when I left, I wanted you. You have no idea how badly I wanted to make you mine. But darlin' you were just too young and very naïve. We weren't married, but I loved you, wanted you. So, I took a whore instead."

  "You wanted me then?" she gasped.

  "I didn't mean to look at you, but I couldn't stop it either. Your figure began to take shape, you weren't just some skinny little kid anymore. You had breasts and hips and I'd loved you as a child, as a friend, but that day, the love I felt was much different. I saw you as a young and beautiful woman. And I hated myself for seeing you like that. I knew I had to walk away, and it hurt Anna. I didn't want to walk away from you, especially without explanation, but at that age, you wouldn't have understood. What we have, has lasted half a lifetime. And it will last forever, because it's true, you are my true love. Our problem all along was, we let others decide our relationship. That was wrong. What we felt, grew through the years. But I had to leave you Anna, because I knew you really were too young. It was the first time I agreed with everyone else. And I'm not talking about just age. You were a very naïve girl."

  "I guess I was. I mean I looked at you, thought I wanted you, but I had no idea what that even meant."

  "I know that. And I didn't intend to ever tell you either." He admitted. "Innocence is a beautiful thing too, you know."

  She turned his cheek to stare once more, "I'm glad you told me. Because I spent a lot of my life wanting you, only I didn't really know what I wanted. I just knew when I was with you, I felt different than with anyone else. I was so comfortable with you. I always was."

  "My God, Anna…" he kissed her so tenderly she lost breath.

  "I've got to get to the Livery stable," He said pulling away as though the temptation to stay with her had become too much for him. "But I'll be home as soon as I can." He promised and kissed her sweet lips.

  She grabbed his arm, and stared into his warm brown eyes, "I feel like I've really come home now. Like I finally belong here!"

  He touched her cheek, his thumb caressing her. "You have come home, and you do belong! And together we'll make it even better."

  His thumb moved softly over her lip and his look devoured her, he bent to kiss her. "Hold that kiss in your heart until I get home."

  Her face broke into the most radiant smile as she stared at him. "It's there," she whispered softly.

  He hesitated to leave but kissed her on the forehead and went to get dressed.

  ***

  She laid there in the bed, naked, basking in the memories of the night in his arms. She never dreamed being married could feel so wonderful. Even though they'd been married for a while now, she felt as though last night was her honeymoon night.

  Her heart sang with the sweet whispers of love. What was strange was that she really felt like a complete woman.

  This was what all those feelings came to. This was the reward of true love.

  She snuggled under the covers and relived the moments with a soft sigh. Even his words were like music to her, and because of last night, the understanding that grew between them made them both stronger.

  Her mother and sister had told her about the first time, but for the life of her, she couldn't remember a pain from his taking. It was so beautiful, and she felt silly and happy at the same time.

  Did every woman feel this wonderful after making love with their husband? She truly hoped so.

  It had been nearly four weeks since they married, and it felt like her marriage started last night. It brought her a happiness she couldn't explain. She felt so alive, so giddy, so very happy.

  She hugged the covers around her, then suddenly threw them off and got up. She grabbed a thin cotton dress and dashed down the stairs after combing her hair. She saw Maria and she went to hug her.

  "My you look different this morning." Maria chuckled.

  "I'm so happy, I think I might burst." Anna Lee cried.

  "And I am happy for you." Maria told her. "Are you hungry?"

  "Starved," she giggled.

  "Good, I have a good breakfast for you." Maria told her.

  "Oh, could Pearl draw me a bath?" Anna asked. "I hate to ask but I'm late getting up and around this morning, and there are a few things I want to do."

  Maria glanced at her and chuckled again, "I think she could do that. I'll see to it."

  Pearl was a black maid Joe hired two years ago. She was tall, thin, and wore a bandana around her head all the time. She had a sassy mouth most of the time, but she minded Maria and Joe well. And she was an excellent housekeeper.

  "I promise I'll get to work as soon as I'm clean and dressed." Anna told her.

  "You have no work to do, here." Maria insisted.

  "Oh yes I do. This is my home now, and I'm going to make it even better. I want to check the garden to see if there is anything, I can plant for you. I'm going to make you a fabulous dress to wear to parties, I’m going to work hard like Joe does to make this the best place in the world to live." She laughed.

  "You must have had a very good night." Maria chuckled.

  "Yes," Anna glanced at her with stars in her eyes, "I did. And I hope I have many more like last night."

  Maria chuckled again, feeling almost a part of her happiness for her.

  "I'm so happy Maria, I'm almost scared to be this happy." Anna laughed.

  Maria sat down at the table with her, pouring her so
me coffee as she did so. "Enjoy your love, for I see it in your eyes this morning, and also in Joe's eyes."

  "You saw it!" Anna cried aloud with laughter.

  "I saw it. You will have many babies." Maria laughed with her.

  "Babies?" Anna looked at her once more, her eyes shining with the afterglow of love. "Wow," she contemplated that statement. "Babies." She smiled dreamily now.

  "Si, I suspect many," Maria told her.

  Anna sipped her coffee and thought about the prospect. "I've never had a baby before. Is it painful?"

  "Sometimes," Maria twisted her head, "Most times, yes. But once the baby is here, you forget the pain of it, just like the first time you make love, it is gone, for what it gives is worth much more."

  Anna blushed, "Oh Maria, you make it sound so wonderful."

  "Si, it is." She chuckled.

  "I can't imagine. I'll probably get fat." Anna looked down at herself. Then she looked at her. "Have you ever had a baby?"

  "Yes, I did. But when I lost my husband, I went into a depression and couldn't shake it. I miscarried; the baby was dead."

  "Oh my God, I'm so sorry." Anna felt bad for asking such a question, but Maria smiled sadly.

  "I would not want to relive it, but I am glad I had a chance at motherhood just the same, for my husband was so happy about it. Still, it was a very bad time for me. But by the grace of God, I am still alive to tell it. And you will not get fat. You are very active and work hard. You will not get fat." Maria told her and got up to fix her breakfast. "Have your babies if you can, for they bring much joy into the world, and I would be happy to help you with them."

  Maria went to tell Pearl, the black cleaning lady to fix a warm bath for Anna. Pearl nodded and huffed, "Cain't even fix her own bath?"

  Maria heard her and came back to her, "Mrs. Callahan is a hard worker, she works harder than you and me both, I won't allow you to talk like that. Now run along and fix that bath for her. And no complaining. She doesn't ask much of us, we need to appreciate that."

  Pearl frowned but she did as she was told as Maria was the boss when Joe wasn't around, Joe himself had made that clear to Pearl before she started working for him.

  When she returned to the kitchen Anna was washing up her dishes. "You do not have to do that."

  "I like doing dishes, Momma and I always talked when we did dishes. It was like a family thing."

  Maria nodded, "Si, it is. Do you miss your folks since you married?"

  "Yes, but they aren't that far away that I can't go visiting them. They are very happy together and I know they enjoy being alone together now that me and my sister are married."

  "Yes, it is a good time for parents when they have raised their children well."

  "I'm sorry I salted the enchiladas too much last night. The boys were so nice not to say a word." Anna told her with a slight grin.

  "It was your first try. But they were good, just too salty."

  "They are all good boys, every one of his men are nice." Anna told her.

  "Si, he hires good ones. I don't know how he knows so much about picking them out. But not a one of them is a throw away." Maria smiled.

  "Were you happy with your husband, Maria?" Anna asked.

  "Si, like you I was giddy with love. My husband and I came from Arizona, we'd only been married a year or so when he was killed by Apaches. I was barely pregnant, and I wish I had been stronger. Maybe the baby would have lived. But losing my husband was hard."

  Anna's face turned white, "I know you will see your baby again one day, in heaven."

  "It was a long time ago."

  "And you never remarried?" Anna asked.

  "No, I could not. I still loved him too much. Even to this day. Still sometimes I think he would want me to find another. Maybe, someday."

  Anna stared, "I can understand that. The only man I've ever loved is Joe. I couldn't bear it if anything happened to him."

  "Si, I am glad you feel that way about him. He is a good man."

  "I just wish Mr. Pettigrew would get back. Things run a lot smoother when he's around. I wish the Sheriff would catch those men so Joe and his men wouldn't have to handle it. I'd die if anything happened to them."

  "Trust in the Lord," Maria told her.

  "Yes, you are right about that, Maria." Anna smiled. "Where is the nearest church?"

  "The nearest church?" Maria looked a bit surprised by the question.

  "Yes, I want to go there and pray for the men and Joe." Anna explained. "I think it's important to pray for them. My church is some ways from here, and I don't want to take up the whole day, I just want to say a prayer for Joe and the boys."

  "What kind of church?"

  "It does not matter. I only want to be closer to God when I do, and I must hurry and get back."

  "Well, St. Matthews is about three miles down the south road. It is always open, and you can just walk in."

  "That's sounds perfect."

  "I know I could pray here, but it seems closer to God to go to his house and pray, and this is a special prayer."

  Maria smiled, "I understand."

  "I'll be back in no time, so don't you fret." She told her.

  She took her bath and thanked Pearl for fixing it for her.

  Pearl shot her a strange glance and left.

  She went directly to Maria. "She thanked me for drawing her bath."

  Maria looked at her and smiled, "I told you, she's a good woman. She doesn't take something like that for granted, but she was in a hurry."

  "For what, she don't work around here!" Pearl snapped.

  "She will, that girl isn't lazy." Maria chuckled.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Anna enjoyed her bath and hurried to get to the church. She had so many things to do, but she wanted to go to church this morning, it seemed the right thing to do.

  The Catholic church lay in a beautiful meadow away from the road. There were oak and pine trees surrounding it, close to the front was a row of flowers, mostly roses, and they were beautiful, and it smelled so pleasant. She noticed a beautiful group of statues on the lawn, it was Mary, Joseph and the baby Jesus. They were beautiful. She went to the door and it was open. She walked inside, and she couldn't believe the beauty of the old church. She gasped. Her little church north of town was quite simple compared to this one. This was like a Cathedral.

  The stained-glass windows were lovely, and the statues had her staring, there was one of Jesus hanging on the cross just above the pulpit. Candles were lit in a long row in front of the pews. She'd never set foot in a Catholic Church before. But her mission was simple, she had to pray for the boys that they would return home safely.

  She went down the long aisle and stopped at the last pew. She bent down on one knee and started to pray.

  She prayed that those men would not make trouble and that Joe, and his men would not be harmed. She prayed that her marriage would always be good. And then she said a very personal prayer, "Please God, if it be your will, could you let me get pregnant, too! Thank you, and I appreciate it. Amen."

  The priest came out then and saw her and came to greet her. "Hello there," he welcomed her. He was young and black headed with dark sparkling eyes. He had a ready smile and she liked him right away.

  "Oh, father, yes, I'm Anna Lee Callahan, I just live down the road a bit. I wanted to come to pray this morning, a special prayer."

  "I'm glad you did." He studied her a minute then asked. "You are not Catholic, are you?"

  "No, but I figured any church would be a bit closer to God than my home." She explained. "And I wanted to be sure and reach him quickly."

  "God?"

  "Yes sir."

  His smile broadened. "Prayer is good no matter where you are, even from the darkest of places. But I'm glad you came. And feel free to come and pray any time. This is a Catholic Church, but we open for anyone who seeks the Lord."

  "Thank you. It's nice to be welcomed, and I will, as I live close by."

  "I'm curious,
perhaps it is not my business, but you said a special prayer?"

  "Yes," she smiled shyly now. "There are some rough men in town and my husband, and his men are there to— well help the sheriff if possible and hopefully not to get hurt."

  "I see. Well, it is good you prayed for their safety."

  "We haven't been married long, and I fear he could get hurt, or his men."

  "Of course, I'm glad to have anyone pray and for such a good reason."

  "I-I also prayed for my marriage and to be with child soon." She told him.

  "Aw, yes, that too is a good thing to pray for." He smiled again.

  Anna Lee looked at the priest, "You are a young priest," she said shyly.

  "Yes, I have only been here a couple of years now. It is my first church."

  "I hope you like it here."

  "I do, very much. The people welcomed me here and made me feel very at home."

  "I am glad for you. Thank you and thank you for allowing me here."

  "It is not for me to allow, but for God!"

  "Oh yes, you are right. Well, I'll be going now."

  "Good luck to you and come again, any time."

  He smiled and she left happy that she had come here.

  She turned at the end of the pews and looked at the priest. "You have such a beautiful church."

  "Thank you," he told her his smile spreading over his young face. "Please come back and see us again."

  "I will, count on it." She said and left.

  She went home and put Sally in her stall, taking her saddle and hanging it over the stall gate. She curried her telling her about her wonderful night and her hopes and dreams for all her tomorrows. She went to look at some of the other horses, there were a few in the stalls, but several were in the corral. She climbed on the corral fence and watched them a while. He had some beautiful horses. She could tell the breeding stock and she hoped he would take the stallion he bought her in San Antonio and breed him to his finest mare.

  Melanie came by with the Stallion.

  "Well hello," she called to her.

  "Hi, I see you brought Midnight back."