“I don’t think so. I’m excited to start my own school, and it was time for me to do something new. Texas is very different than what I’m used to, but I have a feeling, I’m going to love it here.”
She hadn’t mentioned how she felt about marrying him, and that bothered him a bit. “Do you regret choosing me to marry?” he asked softly.
“Not at all. I think you and I will get along just fine.” She didn’t add her misgivings about his feelings for her.
“Well, I’m happy about that.” He sighed. “I hope you don’t feel as if you were forced into a marriage you didn’t want.”
“I don’t. I promise you that.” Jessie wanted to lean forward and kiss him, but he didn’t seem to like it when she was so demonstrative.
“Let me know what I can do to help you get ready for school to start. I want to be part of your career.”
“I definitely will. For now, I’m just waiting on the blackboard.”
“Can you start without it?” he asked.
“Not really. It would be very difficult to teach without having a place to write down math problems and show students how words are supposed to look. Hopefully everything will go according to plan and we’ll be starting school in a week.”
“I hope so,” he said skeptically. It was rare that things came in as quickly as the good folks of Nowhere needed them when ordered. For some reason, everything seemed to take forever. He’d waited months for a new barber chair.
“Well, if it doesn’t come quickly, then we’ll just have to delay school starting. Most of the parents are excited enough that I think someone will make something happen for us.”
She stood up. “I’m going to put my school things away and get ready for bed. I’m sleepy, and I have a lot of cooking to do tomorrow.”
He grinned. “I’m so glad my mother isn’t going to cook for us. Do you have any idea how grateful I am to have a Monday without having to pretend the food tastes good?”
“Have you ever considered telling your mother you’re surprised her cooking hasn’t killed anyone yet?”
He shook his head. “Never. It would hurt her feelings.”
Jessie did her best not to laugh. He really didn’t know his mother at all.
* * *
When Jessie talked to Mr. Peabody the following morning, he told her that the blackboard was expected on Friday’s train into town. He told her it was unusual for things to be late, but it did happen.
She purchased the things she needed for lunch that day, and headed back out to the wagon. “He said it’ll be here Friday.”
“We’ll see.” Bob couldn’t bear to be the one to upset her about the blackboard, but he knew it was unlikely to be there as expected.
Just as he was about to drive away, he was stopped by a young man he’d known most of his life. “Hello, Francis.”
Francis waved, his eyes sad. “Hello, Mr. Samuels. How are you today?”
“I’m doing good. Have you met my wife, Jessie?”
Francis shook his head. “No, sir.”
“She came here as my mail-order bride.”
“What’s a mail-order bride?”
As Bob explained what a mail-order bride was to young Francis, Jessie watched a pregnant woman struggle with a box full of food. “Do you need help?” she called.
The woman looked startled and shook her head. “No, thank you.” With those words, she hurried away.
Jessie thought nothing more of it as she turned her attention back to the conversation Bob and Francis were having. “I wonder if my brother Andy has thought about getting a mail-order bride,” Francis said, a faraway look on his face.
“I don’t know. Maybe you should suggest it to him.”
“Or maybe I ought to simply send for the bride myself. Andy never likes any of my suggestions.”
Bob grinned. “Well, you do what you think you should do. I won’t tell Andy.”
“That’s kind of you.” Francis nodded and headed into the mercantile.
“A friend of yours?” Jessie asked.
“More like an acquaintance. He’s a great deal younger than I am. His older brother Andy is more my age. His parents died recently and Andy is trying to raise his younger siblings alone. I agree with Francis. His brother should send for a mail-order bride so he has some help with the children.”
“Sounds like a good idea to me,” Jessie said, holding onto the seat as Bob pulled away from the mercantile and headed for his parents’ house.
“What are you planning to make for lunch?” Bob asked, his mind already on the food she was going to cook. He hadn’t expected a bride who could cook, and he was thrilled with her. He didn’t know why he was expecting someone more like his mother.
“Chicken and dumplings. My dumplings are so light they practically melt in your mouth.”
“They sound fabulous. I can’t wait to try them.” Bob flicked the leads to get the horses to move a bit faster. For once he would eat a good lunch on a Monday. Jessie had changed his entire world, and he had no complaints.
Chapter Nine
Dear Journal,
I like Bob’s parents more every time I meet them. I did not enjoy the ride home today though. I said some very stupid things that are going to haunt me forever. I actually challenged Bob on the fact that he hasn’t made love to me, which makes no sense at all. Why would I do that? I feel like a complete idiot. Hopefully someday the world will open up and swallow me whole. I certainly wished that would happen earlier.
Bob and I have yet to discuss the ridiculous things I said. I hope he doesn’t hate me forever.
Sarah simply moved out of the way when Bob walked into her kitchen carrying a box of food from the mercantile. “Jessie had something in particular she wanted to make, so she bought the ingredients to make sure you had the right thing.”
“Sounds fine to me.” Sarah winked at Jessie while Bob wasn’t looking. “I love to watch my new daughter cook. She’s quite adept at it.”
“Maybe you could work together.” Bob hoped some of Jessie’s skill in the kitchen would wear off on his mother, but you could never tell. “I’m going to go find Father. Any idea where he is?”
“I think he said he was mending fences today.”
“I’ll go find him,” Bob said, kissing Jessie on the cheek as he headed out of the house. He had no desire to watch women cook.
Jessie smiled at Sarah. “Do whatever you want. I’ve got lunch.”
“You’re the best daughter a woman could ask for!” Sarah sank into a chair and picked up a dress she’d been working on sewing. “What are we having?”
“Chicken and dumplings. It’s my mother’s recipe and I love it. I had chicken and dumplings at the diner in town and it wasn’t nearly as good.”
“Sounds good to me. Let me know how best to stay out of your way.”
Jessie laughed. “I will!”
Sarah went back to her sewing and the two women worked happily together, each doing what they enjoyed and did best. As they worked, they chatted about many things. “You should have seen Bob when he was little. He loved when it rained. If I didn’t catch him, he’d sneak outside and take off all his clothes, dancing in the rain. I think I found him doing that at least a dozen times. His brothers would come to me and tell me he was naked again.”
Jessie couldn’t help but giggle. “I hope he stopped that eventually.”
“I don’t know. I haven’t seen him in a rain storm for a while, but it wouldn’t surprise me.”
“I hope you got a photograph!”
Sarah laughed. “No, the photographer was never around when I needed him.”
“My little brothers would run around naked every chance they got. I found them with no clothes on more times than I could count.”
“I thought you grew up in an orphanage.”
“My parents died when I was thirteen.”
“Oh, I didn’t realize. I’m sorry. I’m sure it was so much harder to have known your parents and lost them.”
Jessie nodded. “So many of the others in the orphanage were left on the doorstep as infants, but I didn’t get there until I was fourteen. They never missed what they didn’t have. I missed having parents who loved me every day of my life.”
“I can believe that. You have a family who loves you now. Don’t forget that. The minute you married my Bob, you were mine forever.”
Tears sprang to Jessie’s eyes. “Thank you.”
Once the dumplings were ready, Jessie looked at Sarah. “How do we let the men know lunch is done?”
“Oh, trust me. They’ll be here any minute. My boys know how to follow their stomachs. They always have.”
Sure enough, the door opened and both men came into the house. “Lunch ready yet?” Bob called out.
“Yes, I was just asking your mother how to let you know.”
“Oh, I know to come in the house when it’s mealtime.”
Jessie shook her head. “Wash your hands and I’ll serve everyone.”
At that, Sarah got to her feet. “You will not. You cooked. I’ll serve.”
Jessie started to protest, but the look on Sarah’s face told her not to. “Yes, ma’am.”
“Good answer!” Sarah grinned as Jessie sat down at the table.
The men praised the meal repeatedly, making Jessie smile. It felt good to be appreciated for something she did well. After they were finished, she brought over the cake she’d baked the previous evening.
“You’re spoiling us,” Robert said, reaching for the first piece she cut.
“Are you complaining?” Jessie asked.
“Never! Just commenting.”
By the time they left that afternoon, Jessie felt that she had cemented her place within the family. Whether Bob ever accepted her as his wife, his parents had accepted her as a daughter. She found she needed that almost as much as she needed him to love her.
On the drive home, they talked about how they would switch to going to his parents’ house on Sundays, since she was starting school on Monday if at all possible. “Mother said they were inviting my brothers and their families on Sunday as well.”
“Do your brothers all have children?”
He nodded. “I have four nieces and three nephews. I love being an uncle.”
“Do you want children?” she asked. She couldn’t help but wonder if he ever planned to consummate their marriage, or if they’d go on as they were forever.
“I do. I’d like half a dozen or so.”
“You do know how children are made, don’t you?” As soon as she asked the question, she regretted it. She silently prayed he hadn’t heard her.
“Yes, I know how they’re made. Why would you ask me that?”
“Well if you want children, you have to do something that will make them. I wasn’t sure if you understood how they came about since you’ve never made any advances in that direction.”
He frowned. “Before you arrived, I promised myself I’d give you a month before I tried to consummate the marriage. I thought any woman would need that long before being willing to have relations with a man she’d never met before.”
“So you don’t find me unattractive?”
“What would make you think that?” Bob was truly baffled by the conversation he found himself having with his wife. He looked at her as if she’d sprung three extra heads with a set of horns on each.
“If you found me attractive, you’d at least be looking for excuses to kiss me.”
“I would?” Bob shook his head. “Every time I start kissing you, I don’t want to stop. It’s better if I just don’t start until the month is up.”
“I never asked for a month,” she said softly. She wasn’t sure why she was pushing him so hard, but it felt very odd to be married to a man for more than a week, and sharing his bed every night, without anything more between them than sleep.
He didn’t even know what to say to that. She was right. She hadn’t asked for a month or any period of time at all. The first day she was there he’d felt some trepidation on her part, but since then, she’d seemed willing, if not eager. Maybe it was time he tried to do more than just lie beside her in the dark at night.
* * *
As she made supper that evening, Jessie was furious with herself for speaking her mind in the wagon on the way home. How could she have embarrassed herself and Bob that way? What must he think of her?
She could barely look him in the eye as they ate their supper, and wanted to climb under the table and hide in shame. When he washed the dishes as he had every other night she had cooked, she didn’t say a word, wanting to go into their room and hide as soon as the dishes were done. She would read her book and forget that she was an idiot…if she could.
As soon as she set the towel down after putting the last dish away, Jessie turned to run to their room where she could be alone and not feel so terrible about what she’d said. Instead he caught her wrist, pulling her into the parlor with him and down onto the sofa. “I’ve been thinking about what you said in the wagon.”
She swallowed hard, not even wanting to respond to that. “You have?”
“I have. I hate that I’ve made you feel like I don’t think you’re attractive. As soon as you got off the train I thought you must be the wrong person, because no woman as beautiful as you would agree to be a mail-order bride.”
“Really? You didn’t look at me and want to send me back to New York on the next train?”
“I didn’t. I wanted to kiss you and make love with you the instant I saw you. But I was sure you wouldn’t be attracted to me. I thought you’d need at least a month to get used to being married before you would feel comfortable doing anything other than sleeping beside me platonically.”
She took a deep breath. “I wasn’t initially attracted to you, but the more I’ve gotten to know you, the more attractive you’ve become to me.”
“Really?”
She nodded. “I haven’t been able to figure out why you…well, why you rarely even kiss me. I thought that you regretted marrying me.”
“I don’t regret it at all. Sending for you was the smartest thing I’ve ever done.” He took her hand and brought it to his lips, kissing it softly. “And I’ll go back on the promise I made to myself if it will make you happy.”
She sighed. “That’s the thing. I don’t think just one of us should be made happy by consummating the marriage. I’d never ask you to do anything against your morals.”
“Against my morals?”
“Well, I feel as if I’d be doing something wrong by asking you to make love with me. So I won’t.”
Bob felt strangely let down. She obviously was backing off on what she’d said in the wagon. If she had no desire to make love, then he certainly wasn’t going to force her. “Then we’ll wait the month like I first said.”
She nodded, annoyed with him. Why couldn’t he see he was making a mistake? “I’ll go read then.”
He watched her leave, irritated with her. And himself. Mostly with himself. He should have just taken her into his arms and kissed her. If she was as willing as she claimed, they could be in bed now, and the frustration of the past week would be over. But no. He had to take the high road and act as if he knew what was best for both of them.
Jessie went into their bedroom and picked up her book, feeling an overwhelming rush of sadness. Why was she never good enough? Even after she’d been so bold, Bob didn’t want her.
School. She had to concentrate on her school and teaching.
* * *
On Friday morning, Jessie went to the mercantile to see if the blackboard was in, and she was pleasantly surprised to hear that it was. Bob had made her feel that it would never be there, and she was thrilled to be able to start school on time.
Mr. Peabody promised that it would be hanging by early afternoon, and she hurried home to finish up the curtains. She hated sewing so much that she’d put off the task as often as she possibly could.
At lunch she excitedly told Bob ab
out the blackboard being in.
“So you can start school Monday as planned!” Bob grinned at her, almost as excited as she was.
“Yes. I’m going to finish the curtains, and I’ll go up to the church as soon as they’re done to hang them properly. The blackboard is supposed to be up by the time I get there.”
“I’m happy for you.”
“I’m happy for the entire town!” Jessie practically danced down the street on their way home from the diner. “I’m so excited to be able to teach the children here.”
“Just don’t forget to write,” he said softly. He worried that she would become so engrossed in teaching that she would forget her first—and to his mind, most important—dream.
She looked at him for a moment before nodding. “I won’t. But my writing is for me. Teaching is for the whole town.”
“That’s true.” He didn’t tell her his plans to send off any manuscript she finished, because he was afraid she would hide them from him. He knew she was worried about being rejected…again.
“But I’ll continue penning my stories, and I plan to teach creative writing to my advanced students. I’m actually very excited about that. I want my students to understand the joy of the written word.”
“With you as a teacher, there’s no doubt in my mind they will understand and cherish literature. You’re the best thing that ever happened to this town.”
She scoffed. “I’m no more important than the local barber. You keep men from looking like grizzly bears.”
He laughed. “Well, I guess that’s true, but I don’t teach them to read.”
“I saw that man you told me about the other day. The one who lives in the woods. He has a long beard. What did you say his name is?”
“Cletus. I don’t know his last name. I’m not sure anyone does. He’s been there for years. People say he lost his mind in the War Between the States.”
Jessie shook her head. “I feel like someone should at least go talk to him and make sure he has enough food and a warm place to stay.”
Jessamine’s Journal: The Alphabet Mail-Order Brides Page 8