Jessie sat down and picked up one of the books. The name had caught her eye, but surely she couldn’t be right. Beulah wasn’t that uncommon of a name after all.
She was flipping through an arithmetic book when she heard someone come into the room. She looked up and her eyes widened. “Beulah!”
Beulah smiled. “Jessamine! I had no idea you were the one who was teaching in Nowhere.”
The two of them had never been particularly good friends, but at that moment, Jessie knew they could be. They were in a totally different environment now and they both craved someone familiar. As much as she felt it, she could also see it in Beulah’s eyes. “Are you feeling all right?” It was then she realized the other woman’s face was much thinner than it had been.
Beulah sighed. “It shows, doesn’t it? I’m expecting. I’m so sick and so tired. I spend all my time studying or sleeping. I barely remember what my husband looks like.”
“Are you happy?” Jessie wasn’t sure what made her ask, but she had to know. Obviously Beulah had consummated the marriage, so she must feel like she was meant to be there.
Beulah shrugged. “I think I will be. It’s been a rough couple of months. My husband wants me to stop working because I’m so tired all the time.” She shook her head. “I’m not going to stop though. I love teaching.”
“Is teaching what you always wanted to do?”
Beulah shook her head. “Not at all. I wanted to be a doctor, but there was no way an orphan could put together enough money to go to medical school. There’s really only one school that accepts women anyway.”
“I had no idea you wanted to be a doctor,” Jessie said with surprise.
“You never really spent a lot of time with the rest of us, so it’s not shocking that you didn’t realize it.” Beulah moved to sit beside her. “Why didn’t you ever want to be friends with any of us? We all tried.”
“You did?” Jessie was absolutely shocked. “I thought no one wanted me to be their friend.”
“Why would you think that? I remember seeing you come in and approaching you, and a lot of the other girls said the same thing. It was like you built a wall around yourself no one was allowed to penetrate.”
“I didn’t mean to do that.” Jessie shook her head. “After my parents died in a fire, I was sent from relative to relative for a while. No one wanted me. I felt rejected by everyone, and I guess I went to the foundling home expecting the same thing, and that’s what I felt as a result of my expectations.”
“I think a lot of times we think something will happen so it appears to us that it has happened. No one rejected you. We all felt that you rejected us.”
Jessie thought about what Beulah had said for a moment before deciding to truly open up to this girl. She’d known her for years, and she’d never heard her to be a gossip. “Beulah, may I ask you something very personal?”
“Of course you may. I’m sure you need a friend from home as badly as I do.”
“I…well, I’m not sure how to phrase this. My new husband hasn’t wanted to consummate the marriage yet.” Jessie said the words quickly, trying to get them over with.
“Really? My husband wanted to consummate ours in the wagon on the way back from picking me up at the train station.” Beulah shook her head. “I tried to talk him into waiting, but he flat out refused.”
“Why did you want to wait?”
Beulah sighed. “I didn’t want to have a baby right off because I wanted time to establish my school. And I didn’t know him. I didn’t feel comfortable. Maybe your husband is waiting because he thinks you need time. Like any woman would need.”
“Well, I guess that’s a possibility. I never thought of it that way. I’m trying not to obsess about it, but it’s hard to stop thinking about it.”
“I can see that it would be hard. Let’s talk about the questions you have about your school, and maybe you can concentrate on work for a while instead of on your husband.” Beulah pulled her planning tablet toward her. “What’s your husband’s name anyway?”
“Bob. He’s a good Bob.”
“I’m glad you think so.” With that, Beulah was all business, showing Jessie how she’d organized everything for her school day. “It’s very different teaching such a large number of students so many different things. We were both teachers of the older children, so we had five or ten students per class. Do you know yet how many students you’ll have? And more importantly, how many won’t be able to read?”
“I’ve had an informational meeting with parents, so I’m pretty aware. It’s not going to be easy, but I think I can handle it.”
The two of them continued talking until late in the day. They had a break for lunch and then got back to it.
When Jack, Beulah’s husband, came into the house. Jessie looked up. “What time is it?”
Jack looked at his pocket watch. “A little after five.”
Jessie jumped to her feet. “Oh, no! Bob is going to be worried. I need to go.”
Beulah stood up and hugged Jessie. “Come and see me again. We may not have been friends in New York, but there’s no reason for us not to be friends here.”
Jessie smiled. “I’d like that a lot.”
“Good. Then I’ll expect to see you sometime soon. And if you ever want to get some help with science, you just let me know.”
“I will!” Jessie hurried outside and climbed into the buggy. She had to wonder if Bob would just eat supper without her, or if he’d wait.
She drove as quickly as she safely could all the way back to Nowhere, and hurried up the stairs to her apartment.
Bob was sitting in the parlor. “Are you all right?”
Jessie nodded. “It turns out the new teacher in Bagley is someone I knew in New York. We started talking about teaching and really lost track of time. I’m sorry I made you worry.”
He caught her hand and pulled her down beside him. “I’m just glad you’re all right.”
“I really am. I didn’t realize how late it was until Beulah’s husband came home. When he said it was after five, I really got nervous. I drove as quickly as I could. And I didn’t make supper. I’m so sorry!” She realized then she was the worst wife alive. No wonder he wasn’t in love with her.
“I’m not worried about supper. We’ll walk over to the diner. It was strange eating lunch alone today. I’ve gotten used to you being there for every meal. It’s a nice feeling.”
She smiled at that. “Well, let’s head to supper then. Beulah’s housekeeper fed both of us when it was time to eat, so I at least had lunch. I learned a lot from her today too. I have a better idea how to handle all the different levels of learning. And I’ve never taught anyone to read, but she gave me tips on how to do that as well. I really feel like I’m ready to conquer anything.”
He was happy to see her so excited over something. “Are you on pace to open the school on November first as you planned?”
“I think so. It depends on the blackboard. I can do without almost everything else, but not without the blackboard. How will I give assignments?”
“I have no idea.” Bob watched her enthusiasm with a modicum of excitement himself. He only wished she got that excited over him and not over being away from him so she could teach. At least one of them was happy.
Chapter Eight
Dear Journal,
The strangest thing happened today. I went to visit the teacher in Bagley, which is the next town over. It turns out she was one of the girls that I taught with and grew up with at the foundling home. I was surprised to see her here, but more than that, I found out that the others in the foundling home I didn’t want to be their friends, while I thought they’d rejected me. It’s strange how we expect certain things, and then believe they’re true, even if they’re not.
It was a very odd day. Beulah taught me a great deal about how to teach multiple ages at once. She has been doing it for a couple of months now, and I feel like I can learn a great deal from her. The two of us spent the entire
day together, and I lost track of time. I was very late coming home, and Bob seemed genuinely concerned. I know my moods must seem mercurial, but maybe he does care for me after all.
Jessie made breakfast before church, and she dressed in her Sunday best. She only had one Sunday dress, and that had seemed enough back in New York, but here she could see she would need at least one more garment that was good enough for church.
Stepping into the building this week was so much different than last. There were many familiar faces and even several people who nodded to her and she could call by name. It was good to feel like she was becoming a part of the community.
After church, they went to the diner. “I think we need to just eat lunch at the diner every day. We’ll plan it,” Bob told her. “I don’t want you to have to prepare three meals a day while you’re getting your lesson plans ready to start teaching in two short weeks. Do you know when the blackboard will arrive?”
She shrugged. “I really don’t. Mr. Peabody said it wasn’t something he’d ever ordered before, and it would be here when it was here. I don’t think I can start teaching without it though. I’ll have to let the parents know next week if it’s not here yet.”
“Would you be terribly disappointed if you had to delay the school’s opening?”
“Yes, I believe I would be. I’ve been working toward it, and I feel like I’m ready, now that I’ve spent so much time talking to Beulah about it. Hopefully everything will fall in line and I can start on the first as planned.”
The lunch special that day was pork chops and baked potatoes. They both ordered it as usual. “I am going to do a ham and bean soup for supper tonight if that’s all right,” Jessie said.
Her husband nodded. “I haven’t had anything that you didn’t cook to perfection. You don’t even have to ask me. I’ll be happy with whatever you make.”
“Are we going to your mother’s again tomorrow?”
“I thought we would if you don’t mind. Maybe Mother will even let you cook more than she did last week.”
Jessie grinned. “She told me that I could do all the cooking if I wanted.”
“Really? That would be wonderful!” Bob’s eyes lit up at the idea of not having to eat his mother’s cooking.
“Then that’s what I’ll do. I do enjoy cooking, and your mother loathes it.”
“Most people don’t like things they’re bad at, and they love things they’re good at.”
“You know…I knew a girl at the foundling home who was good at both English and math. She excelled at both, but she didn’t like literature at all. She only liked mathematics. She frequently tutored English to children who were math oriented, because she could speak their language.”
“Interesting. Most people seem to be good at one or the other. Not both.”
Jessie nodded. “That’s what I found so fascinating about her. I wish I had a mind that could handle both, even if it preferred one over the other.”
“I can see that.” He took a sip of his water. “You seem more enthusiastic about teaching after spending yesterday with your friend.”
“I am. I feel like I’m ready to handle the classroom now in a way I wasn’t two days ago. Beulah had so much information to share with me. I was really impressed.” She shook her head. “It’s strange, but I always thought her life’s goal was teaching. She actually wanted to be a doctor, but as an orphan, she couldn’t afford medical school. So she became a teacher instead. Her whole house is full of anatomy books though.”
“Just like your goal is to be a writer, and you’re a teacher instead.”
“There’s one big difference. Beulah would have been an amazing doctor. I’m not so sure about my writing skills.”
Bob smiled. “I am.”
“You have more confidence in me than I do.” She shook her head. “I would like to think I could do it.”
He reached out and grasped both of her hands in his. “You can do it. You’re an amazing woman, Jessamine Samuels. I truly believe there’s nothing you can’t do.”
Jessie looked down at where his thumbs were rubbing the back of her hands. It felt good, but it made her feel strange. “I hope that one day I will have that belief in myself. For now, I’ll let your beliefs carry me through.”
Bob watched her for a moment, noting that she didn’t try to pull her hands from his. She was no longer trying to kiss him or get close to him, but she wasn’t pulling away from him when he touched her either. Only three more weeks and his promise to wait a month would be fulfilled. Well, nineteen days. He could wait that long. He was sure of it.
* * *
Once they were back in their small apartment, Jessie looked around, wondering where they would put a child if he ever decided to consummate the marriage and she was to have a baby. As much as she wanted children in the future, she wanted to get through at least the first year of teaching in Texas before she was pregnant. Maybe it was best they weren’t consummating after all.
To prepare for going to his mother’s house the next day, she baked two cakes, one for home and one to take with them. She also made two loaves of bread.
When she was done with her baking, she went into the parlor and sat beside Bob with her lesson plan notebook in front of her. She really wanted to get going on the plans, knowing most of the children would be starting from the very beginning. She’d been working on planning out her first week of school for a little over an hour when she looked up for a moment, thinking about what activity she wanted to do. As soon as she raised her gaze, she felt Bob’s eyes on her. She looked at him for a moment, frowning. Why would he stare at her that way when he obviously didn’t have feelings for her?
“Are you getting it figured out?” he asked, blushing a little at being caught watching her work.
“I think so. I won’t really know exactly where my students are, or how quickly they’ll learn, until school actually starts. It’s hard to plan not knowing, but I’m doing my best. I’ll have three students who already know how to read and write. The others will need to be taught. I know it’s going to be challenging.”
“It doesn’t make a lot of sense to me to plan much then. Not more than the first week. After that you’ll have an idea what to do. Right?”
Jessie nodded. “Right. I probably will need to wait, but after talking to Beulah yesterday, I’m just so eager to get started.”
Bob frowned. “Does it make sense to do a lot of work, though? I don’t want you to have to keep redoing the same thing over and over.”
“Probably not. I don’t even know if I’ll have a blackboard in time. I’m going to go to the mercantile to check on it on Tuesday.”
“We could head there on our way out of town tomorrow if you’d prefer.”
“That would be wonderful if you don’t mind. I want to grab something to cook for lunch as well.”
He frowned. “Mom will have food for you to cook.”
“I was just thinking it would be nice if I could plan what I wanted to make and not rely on what she has on hand.”
“I supposed we could do it either way.” He hadn’t really thought of having to go into someone else’s kitchen and decide what to make from whatever was in the pantry. It did make sense if she bought what she wanted to fix.
“Well, I’d like to stop if you’re willing.” She was considering making chicken and dumplings, and she didn’t know if Sarah would have the ingredients available.
“All right.” He was game for anything, as long as it was his Jessie cooking and not his mother.
Jessie closed her notebook. “I think I’ve really prepared all I can, no matter how much I want to do more. I can create some fun activities to do, but actually planning the school year isn’t possible right now.”
He turned to her on the sofa, smiling. “Well, what are you going to do now?”
She shrugged. “I thought I’d go read.”
“Oh.” He sounded disappointed, but she had no idea why he would be.
“Do you have some
thing else in mind?” she asked. They’d already had dinner, and it was close to bedtime.
“I just thought we could spend a little time together.” Bob wasn’t sure why she was so ready to jump up and leave the room all of a sudden. She’d been doing it a lot, when she used to seek out his company.
“If you want.” She was more than willing to spend time with him if that’s what he wanted. It didn’t usually seem to be something he cared to do though.
“Tell me what your three wishes would be if you had them.” Bob took her hand and pulled her toward him, his arm going around her shoulders.
Jessie was startled by the movement, but she settled against him readily. Maybe he was finally wanting to be around her a little more. “Three wishes?” She thought hard. The first wish would be that he would fall in love with her, but she really couldn’t tell him that. “I would wish for unlimited funds so I could take in children who had lost their parents. Just like I was taken in by Wiggie.”
“Tell me about Wiggie.” He’d never heard of such a ridiculous name, and he couldn’t help but question it.
“She is a sweet older woman. She lost her husband many years ago, and started the foundling home and school where I’ve spent the last several years. Wiggie was always kind, and she never turned anyone away. There were children from every background. She called three other teachers and me together to tell us she was dying and we had to leave. She offered us grants if we would start schools where no child would be turned away, and we use her modern teaching methods. But we all had to find men who would agree to marry us. She couldn’t afford to send us all west and give us the grants. So…we all found husbands through a newspaper.”
He blinked a couple of times. “So you wouldn’t have become a mail-order bride if she hadn’t coerced you to do so?”
“I wouldn’t say she coerced me, but no, I would still be teaching in New York if she hadn’t encouraged us all to move west and find husbands.”
“Do you regret it? Would you rather you were still back in New York?”
Jessamine’s Journal: The Alphabet Mail-Order Brides Page 7