A Trade For Good

by Bria Daly

  The concept was confusing to him. He enjoyed talking to his sisters and his mother, as well as the wives of some of his friends, but he knew this was not the same. He truly enjoyed Sera's company. He had laughed, had been understanding and sympathetic, and he had been upset for all of what she was going through. However, he also knew damn well that when he was sitting there talking and listening to her, absolutely no brotherly thoughts had crossed his mind.

  The woman was trouble. She was drop dead gorgeous, and also smart, funny, efficient, mature, great company, and… had he mentioned drop dead gorgeous?

  Those were the positive attributes. On the other side of the coin was the fact that she was married, had four children, her situation with her husband emotionally and financially was completely unstable, and she worked for him.

  There was no way in the world he could or even wanted to get involved with a woman like this.

  Jeff turned his eyes away from the road for a moment, just to convince himself that he should stay as far away from this woman as possible. He turned to see her profile as she looked out of the passenger window, even though at this time of the night there was very little for her to see.

  She had put her hair up into a makeshift knot somehow that showed off the smooth white skin of her neck. The contrast in the color of her skin and the bright red of her silky sweater top made her even more appealing.

  Who was he kidding? Baggage or no baggage, this woman was someone he could easily fall for, but couldn't and shouldn't. He wouldn’t.

  Four kids? Jeff loved kids, but they had to kind of grow on you. It was almost like working out at the gym. You start out with a couple of pounds. You don't start off with the two-hundred pound barbell. You have to work your way up. Besides, if the relationship didn’t work out, there was much more at stake. Too many people could get hurt along the way.

  I guess Lydia isn't that complicated, he thought, and shuddered.

  Sera had noticed Jeff looking her way and had no idea how to react to that. She realized she was very rusty, but she didn't think she had imagined that the look that Jeff gave her was not that of a boss, or even just a friend. In fact, she wasn't sure how she even felt about him. It was so strange to even take that route, if only in her mind.

  This is ridiculous. I'm a 32-year-old woman with four kids and a husband who has gone A.W.O.L., which says a lot about me. I'm broke, I meddle, I'm a loony - he said so himself - and I'm “entertaining” thoughts that he might be interested? I really am crazy.

  Sera decided to risk taking her eyes away from the passenger window for a moment. She couldn't see anything anyway, but she felt awkward and inexperienced sitting in the front seat of the car, and being alone with a man. A real man, one who was nothing but kind and generous, a perfect gentleman, and as Deb had pointed out – as if she had needed a reminder - this man was hot.

  Ugh! Even if she had the time or energy to put into a new relationship, who would ever be interested in taking on such a package deal with all that excess baggage in tow?

  She had to get her life in order, and even then, would she ever meet anyone good enough to be a father to her kids? Not that they had to measure up to Peter. That part was easy, but the main reason why Peter's absence hadn't affected her emotionally, was that Peter had never measured up.

  In Sera's life, a man had to fall in love with the woman, the kids, the house, and their dog Buddy. A relationship with Sera meant a relationship with the package—no ifs or buts about it.

  Sera saw that they were approaching Marion's house and pointed to where Jeff should turn. She remembered that she had driven to Deb and Chad's, and they had driven her and Emma to her mother-in-law's house. So once she came to pick Emma up, she'd have to hitch a ride to go to Chad and Deb's to pick up the rest of the gang.

  The car slowed down and then came to a full stop. Sera turned to open the door, but Jeff had jumped out and was almost to her door by the time she picked up her purse from the floor in front of her seat.

  The perfect gentleman, he opened the door and held it for her to get out. She noticed that this time he didn't reach his hand out to get hers, but that was fine with her. The last time he did this he had sent shivers up her spine, and she didn't think she could handle that again.

  As soon as she got out of the car, Sera noticed two things. One was that Jeff was smiling, and two that there was a high-pitched piercing sound cutting the air, and it was coming from Marion's home.

  "Should we turn around and leave?" she asked him with a wicked smile.

  "How much do you care for your mother-in-law? Jeff countered.

  "Well, she is a nice lady. And after all, Emma is my tax deduction ... Okay, I guess we should go in."

  Sera saw that Marion was watching from the living room window and suddenly felt uncomfortable about being with another man when she was still married to this woman's son. It didn't really matter that this woman's son was somewhere hiding, and possibly never to be found, with another woman, or other women. It didn't matter that he had been with more than one other woman during their thirteen-year marriage. Because in Sera's way of thinking, when you were married, there was only one person in your life, and that was your husband, or in Peter's case, it should have been his wife.

  Her situation was a little different; she had been married to a man who had resigned from his wife and family in every hurtful way possible. As soon as the door opened, Sera straightened her back and rattled off the introductions to leave no doubt that there was nothing else between Jeff and herself, other than a work contract and the offer for a ride home. Marion looked at her warmly and explained that Deb had already called to say Sera would be dropped off by her boss.

  "Hi Marion," Sera said as she quickly pulled Emma out of her mother-in-law's arms and into her own. "This is Jeff Mason, from Mason Landscaping, the man I work for. We were having dinner with Chad and Deb and we saw Mr. Mason walk in ..." At this, Sera turned a bright red as she remembered her sister-in-law's reaction when she saw Jeff walk into the restaurant, and Jeff looked at her confused because she had said Mr. Mason and was suddenly talking like a teenager who had been caught necking on the front porch.

  "Mr. Mason was going to have dinner by himself, so the polite thing to do, not that we weren't happy to ask him, but the nice thing was for him to join us and not eat by himself. Don't you think? Anyway, Chad and Deb had to leave earlier and ..."

  Marion must have picked up on the fact that Sera felt uncomfortable with the present situation, because she extended her hand to introduce herself and said, "Hello Jeff, I'm Marion Sinclair. I'm Chad's mother and this little demon's grandmother."

  Sighing relief that that was over, Sera smiled at her very understanding mother-in-law who quickly added, "Deb called less than five minutes ago to tell me you and Jeff were on your way. It was nice of you to give Sera a ride. We all try to keep an eye on her these days."

  Jeff smiled at the older woman and then looked at Sera who seemed to be relaxing a little more and said, "Don't worry, it's not a problem. I'm glad I could help." And raising his voice over Emma's wails, "So this is the fax baby you had as a background sound when I called you that very first day."

  Confused, Marion looked from one to the other. "A 'fax' baby? Is that some new word or thing I don’t know?"

  Sera laughed and explained how Jeff thought the piercing sound in the background when he had called had been a fax line that went off. Never did he imagine a sound like that could come out of about 27" of baby.

  "Sera honey," Marion suddenly looked concerned, "I felt bad about calling, but she felt so warm and ..." Marion shook her head, "I really don't know how you do it."

  Sera smiled and took her daughter to the living room and laid her on the couch. She removed all of Emma's clothes except for her onesie and the diaper. Then, she looked in her diaper and saw that all was well. She stretched Emma's legs out and then began to massage her legs pulling them up and down in an almost circular motion while sh
e rubbed Emma's distended belly.

  Emma started hiccupping and slowly the screeching sounds began to ease down.

  Jeff and Marion were watching her from the living room entrance with a certain amount of awe, but Sera was not ready to take any credit.

  "I just got lucky. She was about to end it herself, and I just helped her out a bit. I can do this forever when she's in the middle of a fit and it won't work. Believe me, I've tried it all. She should be good for the next two hours at least. I think she was just overheating. I'd better go and get the others and put them to sleep before she starts crying again or we'll all be eating milk and cookies all night with our ear plugs on and absolutely no sleep."

  Jeff picked up Sera's diaper bag that was on the table and her purse, which she had left at the entrance when she first walked in, but Sera stopped him.

  "Jeff, you've really done enough, please don't worry. I can ..."

  "You can be quiet and let people help you. That's what you can do." Winking at Marion, he moved over to the door and opened it up for mother and daughter. Looking down at them now, Jeff smiled. If he hadn't witnessed the whole process, he would have said that Emma looked like she had just been exorcized.

  Chapter 11

  Sera opened her mouth to argue and then closed it again. It made more sense for Jeff to drive her than to have Marion get out at this time or even to call a cab.

  Jeff opened the door for her to leave the house, but she remembered leaving her coat in the living room area. "I'll only be a minute."

  Sera went back to get her coat and hadn't noticed that Marion had followed her and was right behind her as she turned. "Oh, I didn't see you," she said as she almost ran into the older woman.

  Her mother-in-law was standing awkwardly and looked like she had something she had to say, but wasn't sure how to go about it.

  "Is everything all right Marion?"

  "Yes, of course it is. I just ... Listen Sera, you are going through some very difficult times. What happened is awful and my son behaved horribly with you and with all of the rest of us."

  Sera looked at her mother-in-law and almost felt guilty for not hurting as much as her mother-in-law obviously was. The pain in the woman's eyes was clear and was a mix of what looked like guilt and embarrassment for her son being a turd.

  "Marion," Sera reached for her mother-in-law and gave her a quick squeeze, "you have no control over this and neither do I. If you ever think it has anything to do with you, please, please, I beg you, don’t. You raised wonderful children and I am proud to be a part of this family. This is not about you. Peter made some really bad choices. If he wanted something different, or somebody else, he only had to ask. I was too busy being a mom to notice. Maybe that was the problem, or maybe it wasn’t meant to be. I lack experience in relationships because Peter is the only man I ever knew, but I know enough to understand that what we had was not what you read about in fairy tales or romance novels. I fooled myself for many years, because I loved being a wife and then a mom. And honestly, my kids were more than enough for me. Peter was a means to get the kids I have and adore."

  Sera reached for her mother-in-law's hands and held them tight. "It wasn't always this way. I married Peter because I was crazy about him and I honestly believe there was a time when he was actually crazy about me as well, but things changed. Life changed. I don't think Peter was meant to be a dad, but I don't regret, not even a bit, being a mom. I will always be grateful to Peter for the children he brought into my life. I can never thank him enough."

  Then laughing between misting eyes, Sera quickly added, "You did good Marion. Look at the genes you passed on," she said as she uncovered little Emma's sleeping face from under a pink blanket. "Can't beat this, can you?"

  The women quickly hugged, being careful not to disturb the sleeping baby and they turned, just in time to see that Jeff had overheard most of the exchange. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to intrude. If you don't need me, I'll be in the car."

  Jeff left the room and Sera and Marion exchanged a look. Marion squeezed Sera's hand and said, "You know, if you were my daughter, and not my daughter-in-law, I'd say that's a very special young man from the little I've seen and heard of him. He seems to be good to you. I like that. You deserve to be treated well Sera and don't you ever forget that."

  Sera opened her mouth to set Marion straight on anything the woman thought was going on between Jeff and her, but Marion hushed her and continued.

  "I said before, if you were my daughter and not my daughter-in-law. Well, you are more than a daughter-in-law to me and you've always behaved wonderfully and have been great to all of us. You are family Sera, and you've behaved better than my own son. I want you to know that I want what's best for you. If you decide you want to start dating, you have my support. But don't be surprised if I want to check the guy out or if your father-in-law, who by the way slept through all of our granddaughter’s screaming fits, puts him through hell and asks him all the questions he asked the poor boys that dated Peter's sisters."

  Marion hugged Sera tight. "I love you kiddo."

  "Yeah, me too." Sera said as she wiped a tear that was threatening to roll down her cheek.

  Marion followed Sera to the door and kissed her as she left. Sera reached the car and looked around to see where the car seat she had left next to the passenger seat had gone.

  Jeff had jumped out of the car and was opening the back door for Sera and Emma to get in, that’s when Sera saw that Jeff had already strapped in the car seat. When she looked up at him questioningly, he shrugged and said, "I have nephew and nieces."

  Sera knew that not everyone could figure out how to set up a car seat. Peter for one, had never managed or even tried.

  Sera sat down and strapped Emma in. She gave the car seat a once over and tugged at all the right places to make sure it was secure, which it was, and saw that Jeff was watching her from the rearview mirror. He rolled his eyes at her thorough inspection, and she just smiled back sweetly as the car drove away.

  Jeff drove without saying a word. He thought it was pretty much agreed that nothing should be done or said to disturb Emma's peaceful slumber. He thought of what he overheard in the conversation between the two women and wondered what it was that he had missed.

  He was happy to know Sera had a good family and was appreciated. He knew nothing about her family. Was she an only child? Did she have siblings? Were her parents still alive? He had never thought to ask, but thought she was probably alone if not for Peter's family, because he had never heard her say or mention anything about anyone else. Of course, her family could be living in another state or even in another country and that would explain why she talked about Peter's family more and was able to rely on them more as well. Although, he chuckled to no one but himself, if his mother was far away and he was left alone with a family to care for like Sera had been, he knew his mom would have just moved in and taken over, and would not take no for an answer.

  Jeff drove without saying anything. Chad had told him where they lived when they were at the restaurant, so Jeff drove without needing any direction. It wasn't far, only a twenty-minute drive or so. He had liked Chad and Deb and could tell they (Sera and her in-laws), were all very close.

  He looked at the back seat of his car through the rearview mirror and saw that Sera had closed her eyes and looked to be sleeping. She was probably exhausted. And he thought he had it bad. Then again, there had been a moment back there, when he was strapping in the car seat, that he had felt that little tug in his heart. The same tug he felt when he went to his nieces’ and nephews’ birthday parties or ball games. He called it the missing link. The missing link in his life was a family of his own.

  Although outwardly he tried to seem content with his “singlehood,” he knew he wanted a family someday. A family of his own that he could love, care for, and have lots of fun with.

  He had created a disguise that told the world that a family was the last thing he wanted. So far, he had
never met anyone he cared to share his secret with and meanwhile, it kept the women he met from jumping at the chance to beat their biological clocks and land a well-established business owner who was not exactly a bad catch to meet their needs and procreate.

  No, the fewer who knew about his secret desire to have a family and the fact that he didn't think he could ever be satisfied without having children, the better. But if he never did find a partner for life, someone to have and to hold, as the saying went, then he'd spoil the hell out of his nieces and nephews and let their parents put up with them later.

  Jeff found his way to the Sinclair's house and parked in their driveway. He looked back in the mirror again and saw that both Sera and Emma were asleep. He opened his door and went to the back to open Sera's door, being careful not to wake little Emma up. She really was a cute kid when she wasn't scrunching her face up in a huge wail.

  Then he turned his attention to Sera, who hadn't even stirred when the car stopped or even now that the door was open and a light breeze was starting to come in.

  Sera looked peaceful and soft. Her features were always soft, but now they were also relaxed and ... Damn she looked really good.

  "Sera. We’re here."

  Sera heard a male voice she didn't recognize and felt a soft caress on her cheek.

  "Hmm?" She smiled wondering where she was and thinking how nice it was to sleep. "Where ..." she sat up quickly as soon as she opened her eyes and realized Jeff was smiling at her.

  "Come on sleepy head. You couldn't have reached any significant REM cycle in just ten minutes."

  "Some people speed read. I have to speed sleep. I am self-taught, and my schooling started with P.D...." Sera smiled as she closed her eyes again and stretched. "Umm, that felt good."

  Jeff's eyes were intent on her as she stretched her arms and neck back; her body's movements were not lost on her boss.

  "I wish you could stay here all night, but I think it would get kind of cramped with your three other kids if they decided to join us."

  Sera opened her eyes and wondered if there had been more to Jeff's comment than just the words that were said. Join us ... Was it sleep talking, or did that just sound really, really good?