by Angel Devlin
“Night, Aiden.”
I don’t think things can possibly get any worse until I receive a text when I’m home from work Monday night.
Kay-bear: You are never going to guess who started work at my school today.
Aiden: One of your disastrous dates?
Kay-bear: Close. Phillip. He’s back in town and has taken a temporary post in the hope it leads to something permanent. He’s asked me for a coffee after work as he wants to clear the air given we’ve got to work together.
I throw the phone down on the bed as if it’s a hairy assed spider and I’m an arachnophobe.
Her ex. The person she thought was her happy ever after has come back.
Fuck. My. Life.
9
Kaylie
I wanted to hold a grudge and be mad at Aiden for ruining my one and only decent date on Saturday night but in reality, I couldn’t.
Almost every date up until this weekend I’ve leant on him to rescue me when things have gone wrong. I guess I can’t really blame him for expecting this date to go south as well. It would have just been nice of him to test the water before he came barrelling in with his dramatics.
It’s weird to hear someone else moving around in the flat when I close the door behind me. I walk the short distance to Cheryl’s room to find pretty much what I was expecting. Her packing her remaining stuff.
“Shit, Kay. You scared me. I wasn’t expecting you home yet.”
“So what, you were going to pack up and leave and not tell me?” Irritation floods me that after all the years we’ve been roommates she’d even consider doing something so shitty.
“What? No. Of course I was going to tell you.” She rolls her eyes at me like I’m being overly dramatic but I find it hard to agree with her.
“So you’re finally leaving then? What about the rent and giving notice?”
“I’m paid up until the end of next month so that should give you plenty of time to find a replacement.”
I fume. I don’t want to have to find another roommate; it was hard enough finding Cheryl. I should be the one organising to find a new place to live. I should be the one moving on with a boyfriend. But here I am, almost thirty and totally alone.
“Right, well… that’s great. Thanks for the warning.” Turning, I storm towards my room.
“I’m sorry, Kaylie.” Sounds out behind me but I don’t stop. I’m already over tonight.
I spend almost all of Sunday working before I sit with my laptop to see if I could possibly afford a decent place by myself or if I’m going to be forced to attempt to find a normal roommate. Truthfully, I’m not overly confident about my ability to do so seeing as I can barely find a decent human to have a meal with let alone live with.
I’m desperate to phone Aiden to find out what he thinks I should do, but knowing he’s at work and that I need to stop relying on him for every little thing that goes wrong in my life, I refrain from reaching out. I need to start acting my age and fix problems myself. All those intentions fly out the window the second I walk into the staff room the next morning because my need for my best friend’s honesty is required more than ever.
Every Monday morning is staff briefing before we settle into a week full of classes, snotty noses, and tantrums.
I’m sitting in my usual spot with my head in my diary looking at the week ahead when someone falls down onto the chair beside me. I usually don’t take that much notice, preferring to live inside my own little bubble, but there’s something so familiar about the scent that fills my nose, I’m forced to drag my head up and look.
When I do my eyes almost pop out of my head.
“Hello, Kaykay. How are you?”
My chin drops as I run my eyes over every inch of my ex’s face. It’s been what… five… no six years since he decided one day that the settled life of a long-term relationship wasn’t for him and that he wanted to sow his wild oats.
“What the hell are you doing here?”
“It’s nice to see you too.”
I haven’t laid eyes on Phillip since the day he walked out of the flat we shared, and to be honest, I kind of expected it to stay that way for the rest of my life. I’d have been more than happy with that too. Jesus, I thought the man staring at me now with a couple of lines around his eyes and a slightly receding hairline was it for me. I truly believed that we were meant to be and at almost twenty-four I was waiting for the engagement ring I’d been dreaming of coming at any moment. He knew my goals. I wanted to be married and have at least one baby by the time I was thirty. He always said he agreed, but then suddenly he claimed to want the total opposite and was gone faster than I could blink, leaving me in a flat I couldn’t afford. The similarity to my current situation isn’t lost on me. I guess I should just be glad that my heart isn’t involved this time around. Phillip’s disappearing act was what led me to find Cheryl in the first place, so I guess it’s ironic that the day after she walks out of my life, he walks back in.
“I’d love to say the same, Phillip, but I’m not really feeling all that great about it.”
His shock is evident on his face. He knew me as a meek and mild little mouse. He used to tell me to jump and I’d immediately ask how high. Aiden had been telling me throughout the relationship that I was losing myself, but it wasn’t until Phillip left that I was able to acknowledge just how much he’d been controlling me. Even to this day I would argue that it was unintentional on his part but sitting here right now and looking him in the eye once again, I’m not so sure.
“Good morning, happy campers,” our headteacher sings, officially starting our new week.
While I keep my eyes on him and attempt to focus on what he has to tell me, Phillip keeps his eyes on me. They burn into the side of my head. My nails dig into the cushioning under my arse in an attempt to keep myself in my seat. All I want to do is run. Run and hide in my classroom until I’m able to lock myself in my flat and try to figure out how the fuck I’m meant to look him in the face without wanting to pull my hammer out of my bag. After Saturday night, I already know it’s pretty efficient.
Guilt washes through me as I think about the black eye selfie I woke up to this morning. I never meant to cause Aiden any damage, I just wanted to express how pissed off I was.
“I’d like to welcome Phillip Harrington to the team. He’s here as Laura’s maternity cover for the next few months. I think he’s going to be a great asset here so please make him welcome.”
Irritation burns through me, my shoulders tense and my teeth grind. The second we’re dismissed I’m out of there like someone lit a fire under my arse.
My morning continues as it started, some little darling has an accident, leaving a warm little puddle on the chair and the floor and while my PA is out dealing with him, another kid projectile vomits across the desk causing all hell to break loose.
The second the last little terror leaves for lunch, I drop my head to my desk. I need a do over on today. The last thing I need right that second is to hear his voice.
“How’s your morning been, Kaykay?”
“Can you stop calling me that? I hated it back in the day and I still hate it now. And seeing as you asked, my morning’s been shit, and to be honest, it isn’t exactly looking up. What do you want?”
He looks a little wounded by my words and I just about manage to smile in delight.
“I wanted to come and apologise for how I treated you. I was out of order.”
“You think?” I ask dryly.
“I just got scared. We were so young, Kayk—” He stops himself when my eyes narrow in frustration. “I just wasn’t ready for all that. We’d been together since uni and I stupidly thought I was missing out being tied down already. I wanted to have the chance to experience what else was out there.”
“And how was that for you?”
“Meh. I soon realised what I’d thrown away.”
“Clearly you didn’t miss it that much seeing as you just said you realised quite quickly yet you’re standing her
e now, six years later, by total coincidence. If you’re expecting me to give you another chance then you’re really going to have to try better than that.”
“So are you single? I noticed you’re not wearing a ring.” Hope shines in his eyes, making me wonder for the first time if we were just too young back then and things could be good between us once again. But would I want that?
“Yes, I’m single,” I say through gritted teeth.
“Let me take you out for coffee after work. I want to show you that I’m not the man you remember. I’ve grown up since our time together.”
“So have I, Phillip.”
“I can see that. Say yes?”
Blowing out a breath, I figure that agreeing might get him out of my classroom faster so I can eat and hide for a few minutes before the kids reappear.
“Fine. There’s a coffee shop around the corner. I’ll meet you out the front after school.”
A giant smile lights up his face and my stomach drops. Did I just give him the wrong idea?
Thankfully the afternoon involves no bodily fluids and before I know it the bell rings signalling the end of the first day of the week. With only a few weeks to go before Christmas, the kids are starting to get a little hyper with the approaching Santa visit. The next few weeks are going to be exhausting, even more so if I have to spend that time trying to avoid my ex.
As promised, he’s waiting patiently for me out the front when I eventually arrive. I must admit, I was dragging my heels a little to get out here in the hope he might get fed up, but it looks like I’m not going to be that lucky.
“Hey,” I say walking up behind him. “I’m ready for the caffeine fix.”
“Me too. I forgot how hard the first day at a new school is.”
I mumble my agreement, but in reality this has been my one and only school. “Did you know I still worked here?”
“I… um…”
“Did you come here for me, Phillip?”
“That’s one of the reasons. That and my parents aren’t getting any younger. Figured it was time to come home.”
I don’t really know how I feel about this sudden reappearance and interest after six years of radio silence. I can’t help but think there’s more to it. He can’t have suddenly woken up one morning and decided he missed me so much that he had to get a job at my school. Probably wants to marry me so I’ll look after his parents for him. Oh God. I bet I’m right!
Once we get to the front of the queue, he takes it upon himself to order what he remembers as my usual and it pisses me off that he’d just assume.
“I can order for myself, you know?”
“Oh yeah. Sorry. Force of habit.”
“After six years?”
This is what I need. The reminder of why he wasn’t actually that good for me.
We find ourselves a table and silence falls around us. An uncomfortableness that hasn’t been present during our other interactions today is suffocating.
“So how have you been? What have you been up to?”
The thought of explaining everything I’ve done over the past six years doesn’t sound very inviting so I cut it right down.
“Oh, not a lot. Working mainly, spending time with Aiden and my family.”
“Aiden’s still about then, huh?” His lips purse as he says Aiden’s name and it pisses me off.
“Yeah. Why’d you say it like that?”
“No reason.”
I stare at his face, trying to see if old feelings for him still linger inside me. There might be a little something but I’m not really sure if it’s feelings or just a little bit of nostalgia. I was angry for a long time after he left me, but at some point over the past few years, I realised he wasn’t really worth it and moved on. If I cared, surely I’d still be angry, or feel something more than I do at least.
He insists on getting us a second drink seeing as our trip down memory lane has resulted in two empty cups and I excuse myself to visit the toilets. Pulling my phone from my bag, I consider an Aiden rescue but this is my mess that I need to get out of. Instead, I message him with an update on my day because he’s really not going to believe this.
10
Aiden
Even rescuing a young cat from a tree in front of a women’s football team doesn’t cheer me up today. Even though it was so cold there were a lot of pebbled nipples. All I could think about was Kaylie and him.
Phillip the knobsack.
My time with my best friend had been severely limited when she’d dated him because he didn’t like me. In fact, he didn’t like anyone being around her who wasn’t him. In hindsight he’d put my bestie in a gilded cage. He’d treated her fine. Just within his rules for life and boy did he have a lot. Thought he was someone special did Phillip.
And then after promising her the earth he just fucked off, saying he was too young. Left her with a broken heart and a flat she couldn’t afford. He wanted me around then. All he had to say was ‘go and see Aiden. He’ll support you to get over me’.
Dipshit.
I keep picking my phone up when I get the chance but there are no more messages. It’s six pm and I’m just about to walk in my front door. They’re probably still out. Shall I text her?
No. Look what happened last time.
Back off.
I have to realise that my bestie is almost thirty years old. A grown woman who can make her own choices, whether they’re good or ridiculous. I just have to trust she’s not taken in by the BS that comes out of his mouth.
I walk into the house to find my roomie Brandon has all the downstairs curtains closed and is snoring on the sofa. The smell of morning breath and fusty body is all over the place.
I pick up a cushion and throw it at his head.
There’s a groan and then he moves his head with a vacant ‘where am I?’ look on his face.
“Time’sit?” slips out of the side of his mouth.
“Time you slept in your actual bedroom, given that’s what it’s for, and maybe had a shower. You stink.”
He sits up a bit and looks at me through sleepy eyes that keep closing. “What bit your arse?”
“I’m just fed up of you slobbing about, mate. What if I’d brought a girl back with me and we found you there?”
He shrugs his shoulders. “Just take them past me upstairs.”
“God, you’re such a lazy fucker. And it’s almost ten past six.”
Another groan. “I’m back at work in a couple of hours.” He runs a hand through his shaggy, chin-length hair. “I need another job. I can’t do this much longer. It’s killing me.”
“You say that on a daily basis but then when I hand you your laptop at the jobs page you say you can’t be arsed, so suck it up, go get a shower and I’ll order us some pizza on your credit card because I can see otherwise your turn on the food rota is not going to go well.
I watch as he rolls onto the floor and then stands up. It’s like that evolution of man picture you see, though the actual human won’t appear until after his shower.
An hour later we’re back on the sofa that I’ve sprayed with my aftershave. All the windows have been opened and now the only odour is that of the gorgeous pizza we’re tucking into.
Brandon’s hair is now washed and combed back. He hasn’t bothered shaving. But he pays his half of the rent on time and causes no trouble. I met Brandon in the gym a few years back, believe it or not. He managed to go for a whole week before giving up. During that week he’d spent more time chatting and putting me off my routine than working out, and mentioned he was looking to move out of his parents while asking to borrow my shower gel.
“So what’s up with you? You’ve a face like a slapped arse.”
I chuck my half-eaten pizza slice back in the box. I can’t even eat right now. “It’s Kaylie. Her ex has come back to town and she’s gone for a coffee with him. He’s a controlling arsehole. I want to storm the coffee shop and put my fist through his face.”
“How’d you get the ey
e?”
“Now you notice my eye. Do you walk around in an actual coma?”
“Just didn’t seem all that important. Figured it’d be the boyfriend of one of your women. Bound to happen at some point.”
“Kaylie hit me. By accident.”
“Fucking hell. You don’t need to worry about her with this guy then if that’s the punch she has on her.”
“She hit me with a hammer.”
Brandon’s mouth drops open.
“It was in her handbag; it’s a long story and right now we’re focusing on the fact she’s out with her dickhead ex.”
“And you’re jealous cos you want to bang her yourself.”
“No.”
“Yes.”
“I do not want to bang Kaylie.”
“Mate, it’s about time we had this girly chat. You’ve had the horn for this girl as long as I can remember. You talk about her ALL THE TIME. You’ve stopped picking up women, because when you’re not working you sit in at night waiting to go rescue her from her dates. You’re totally pussy-whipped. It’s time to admit the truth.”
I take a deep breath.
“Okay. I only just noticed this week that she has a banging body and that well, I think I actually might love her.”
Wide eyes and another repeat of the open mouth greets me.
“Excuse me?”
“I think I love her.” I confess.
“I was expecting an ‘I want to fuck her brains out’. Did the hammer hit you hard in the head or have I really just heard Mr Aiden Thomson declare himself in love?”
“Leave me alone.”
“Unfortunately I have to because I’ve got to get ready for work, but fucking hell, mate. I am proper gobsmacked. You need to do something then before she takes that tool back and marries him.”
“I know.” I groan. “But she’s my best friend. What if it goes wrong and I lose her?”