Nothing (All the Things Book 2)

by K. A. Last

  “Katie, wait,” Levi says, but I don’t stop.

  When I reach the arch leading into the foyer he grabs my arm, and I spin to face him. “Don’t touch me.”

  “Please, let me explain.”

  “What is there to explain, Levi? You asked me to the formal on a dare.”

  “It’s not what you think—”

  “Oh, really? So what’s the money for? Did they dare you to sleep with me, too? You really are a jerk.”

  “Come on. Don’t be angry,” he says.

  I take a step towards him. He smiles a lopsided, goofy grin, and I smell the booze on his breath. He probably thinks he looks sexy. I think he looks like a drunken idiot.

  “Never, in a million years, will I let you touch me again.”

  Levi frowns and sways on his feet. “It’s not—”

  “Oh please. Tell me what I should think, because I’m dying to hear your lame excuse.”

  “I was protecting you.”

  “From what?” I yell. “The only thing I need protection from is you.”

  “I can explain.”

  I shake my head and laugh. “No, Levi, you can’t charm yourself out of this one. Tell me, how much is sex with me actually worth?”

  Levi opens and closes his mouth a few times before clamping it shut.

  I turn to go back into the restaurant and freeze. We have an audience. A small group of formal goers have come over to see what’s happening. Karen stands at the front, Jessica and Stacey on either side of her. Veronica is scowling, which isn’t surprising. She turns and goes back towards the tables. I’m not the only one having a crappy night.

  “You’re such a dick, Levi,” Karen says. “And your friends are, too.”

  “Katie, I’m sorry,” Levi says.

  “It’s a bit late for sorry.” I find Geoff and Jarred’s faces in the small crowd.

  I shake my head and turn my back on Levi, moving through the people to go to our table. I slide into the chair beside Veronica and stare at the lights with her. Karen, Jessica, and Stacey sit with us. None of us talk. No one seems in the mood.

  After a while, Veronica looks around as if she’s just noticed us sitting with her. For once, she doesn’t make a snide or bitchy remark. Instead, she smiles, and the five of us watch the lights, waiting until we can get out of here.

  The music stops, and I look around the room. Britney Owens, our vice-captain, takes the stage and grabs the microphone.

  “It’s time,” she says in a sing-song voice. “Everyone has voted and we’ve tallied the results. Gather around to celebrate the crowning of your king and queen.”

  Karen rolls her eyes, and I laugh at her expression. We pretty much know Veronica will win queen. She has so many supporters. And those who don’t like her are too afraid not to vote for her.

  Everyone moves towards the stage except us. We’re all over tonight, and I, for one, do not care who gets crowned.

  “Are you ready?” Britney asks. A few people shout out and wolf whistle. “Please put your hands together for this year’s queen, Veronica Porter.”

  The room erupts into applause, but Veronica doesn’t look overly excited about winning. She stands from her seat, and makes her way to the stage using slow steps.

  Britney places the crown on Veronica’s head, and she adjusts it before taking the microphone.

  “I’m honoured, of course,” Veronica says, putting on her sweet voice. “And we can celebrate at the after-party.” She puts one hand in the air and gives a loud whoop.

  Everyone follows suit, and starts clapping and whistling.

  “Okay, settle down everyone,” Britney says. “Now it’s time to announce our king, who is none other than our very own school captain, Levi White.”

  The room erupts again. I’m not surprised he was voted in. I even voted for him. I spot Levi over the other side of the room, walking around the edge of the crowd towards the stage. Veronica’s line of sight follows him as he approaches. Then she laughs, and more laughter bursts from the front, but I can’t see what’s going on because I’m sitting.

  “I’m okay,” Levi says when he’s up on the stage. He sways a bit.

  Whispers move through the students, and I put my face in my hands.

  “He’s drunk,” I say. “This should be good.”

  “Is everyone having a good time?” Levi asks. More whoops and whistles. “Thank you for voting for me. I’d like to say I’m happy to be standing here beside Ronnie ...” He puts an arm around her and pulls her close. “... but I’m not. I should be standing here with Katie.”

  “Oh no,” I say, peeking through my fingers. “He isn’t ...”

  Karen jumps up and races over to the music station, whispering in the DJ’s ear.

  Levi stumbles forward. “Katie, I’m sorry ...”

  Everyone in the room stops talking.

  I sit back in my chair and let my eyes go blurry. This isn’t happening.

  Seconds later, music blares from the speakers once again. Britney grabs the microphone from Levi, and pushes him and Veronica onto the dance floor for the king and queen’s dance.

  I take a deep breath, willing the last hour of the formal to go as fast as possible.

  As soon as we can, Karen, Jessica, Stacey, and I get the hell out of there. We’re the first ones in the lift. We have no plans of going to the after-party, and we grab the first taxi we can find. It takes us all the way to my place, and none of us talk much on the way home. Jessica and Stacey walk the few houses down to Jessica’s place before Karen and I go inside. I put on my bravest face, giving Mum, Dad, and Daniel a quick rundown of the night and how great it was.

  “How was the food?” Daniel asks.

  I shrug. “Okay, I guess.” I didn’t eat much.

  “And the dancing?” Mum asks.

  “Yeah, we did some of that.” Karen smiles.

  I think back to how good it felt to move in time with the music, but the feeling of happiness is crushed by the memories of what happened with Levi and Veronica.

  “The best part was the view,” I say, pretending there’s nothing wrong.

  “I’m glad you had a good time,” Mum says.

  Dad sits at the kitchen table and sips a cup of coffee. “I hope the boys behaved.”

  “Um ... yeah. They were fine.” I fake a yawn. “We should go and get all this stuff off.”

  “Yes,” Karen says. “Can’t sleep in our makeup.”

  “I’m going to bed, too,” Daniel says. “Waiting up for you two is tiring work.”

  Everyone heads up the stairs and goes their separate ways. The hall echoes with ‘good night’ as we close our doors.

  Once Karen and I are in my room, everything changes, and my mood comes crashing down again. I’ve managed to mostly hold it together, but I can’t contain it anymore.

  I flop onto my bed and push my face into my pillow, sobbing. All my heartache pours out, soaking the pillowcase and filling it with sorrow. Karen’s weight dips the bed as she sits beside me. She rubs my back, but doesn’t speak, and I’m so grateful for her presence and her silence.

  “Come on. Let’s get you out of this dress,” she says when my sobs subside.

  She helps me up and unzips me. I stand in the middle of my room, numb. All my emotion is gone, and in its place is nothing. I’m an empty shell, and I want to stay like this, not feeling, because emptiness is better than pain.

  Karen helps me into my PJs. She brushes my hair and cleans the makeup off my face with some cleansing wipes.

  I stare at my dress pooled on the floor. It’s such a pretty dress, but now I hate it. I pull it onto my lap and run my hand over the bodice, brushing my fingertips over the embroidery on the waistband.

  “Why did he do this to me?” I whisper.

  Karen squeezes my arm. “Because he’s an idiot.”

  My fingers find the loops in the embroidery and I dig them in. Then I pull as hard as I can. The fabric rips, and I tear at it until the dress is a mess of fabric
on my knees. Karen doesn’t try to stop me. Hot tears sting my eyes. I throw the dress across the room.

  Karen wraps her arms around me and I sob into her shoulder. “It isn’t fair.”

  “Shhh, I know.” She strokes my hair.

  I get under the covers and bury my face in my pillow. Karen pulls the trundle out from under my bed, and busies herself with making up the mattress with the sheets Mum has left on my desk. I lie and watch as she works in silence. She takes her own dress off and changes into her PJs before slipping out the door to go to the bathroom.

  I must fall asleep because the next thing I hear is tapping on my window. Karen is snoring softly on the trundle beside me. She has her head under her pillow and I smile. She’s always slept like that. She never could sleep with it around the right way. Light from the street shines through the gap in the curtains.

  The tapping sounds again.

  I get out of bed, careful not to step on Karen, and go to the window seat. When I part the curtains Levi is staring at me, and I hope he can see the hurt in my eyes. I hope he can see it down to my soul.

  What he’s done has broken me.

  I want to open the window and let him climb in like he has so many times before. But there is no room for him in my life anymore. He has reduced us to nothing.

  Before I can stop myself I push the bottom sash of the window up.

  “Can we talk?” Levi asks. His breath smells like bourbon.

  “There’s nothing to talk about.”

  “Come on, Katie. Please let me explain.”

  “You’re drunk. Again. That’s explanation enough.”

  “You need to hear the truth.”

  I grit my teeth. “The truth is that you never wanted to be with me in the first place. You asked me out because one of your stupid friends dared you to, and there’s money involved. I think all of that is pretty self-explanatory.”

  He shakes his head. “It’s not like that.” His foot slips on the roof, and he grabs the windowsill.

  I kneel on the window seat and wait for him to adjust his footing. Then I lean in close. He smiles, and I bet he thinks I’m going to kiss him.

  In a harsh whisper I say, “If you don’t get off my roof right now, so help me God, Levi, I will push you off.”

  “Katie—”

  “No. You’re drunk. Get. Down. I never want to see you again.”

  He presses his lips together and moves away from the window. I pull the sash closed, turn the lock, and draw the curtains. I step over Karen who has slept through our entire encounter, her head still under her pillow.

  I climb back under my covers and pull them to my chin, vowing never to let Levi into my room, or my heart, again.

  Sorry Won’t Fix Anything

  ATTENDANCE AT SCHOOL after the formal is optional, and I opt not to go. I lie in bed and stare at the ceiling, trying not to remember what happened. At least I have a two week break now, and I don’t have to leave the house for days if I don’t want to. I’ll be able to study for HSC exams, which start in three weeks.

  Who am I kidding? All I can think about is Levi.

  He’s broken my heart in the worst way possible, and now I’m lost. I got my hopes up about a future together. Not a get-married-and-have-kids kind of future, but one where we both went off to uni, maybe the same one, and hung out for a while.

  I don’t know what uni I’ll be attending yet. I won’t find out until final results are released in December, and acceptance letters start to arrive. If I get my first choice, Mum and Dad aren’t going to be happy. I haven’t even told them I applied for a fine arts degree. As I stare at my ceiling, counting the faded glow-in-the-dark stars, I realise that right now I don’t care anyway. I’m as dull as the stars have become over the years, blending in with the white paint. An endless expanse of nothingness. And the longer I stare, the bigger it gets.

  I roll onto my side and stare down at Karen. She stretches on the trundle and blinks the sleep from her eyes.

  “Hey,” I say.

  “Hey. New day. Has to be better than the last.”

  I force a smile.

  We get up and take turns in the shower before heading downstairs for some breakfast. Daniel is at the stove, flipping pancakes.

  “Where’s my brother, and what have you done to him?” I ask.

  He smiles. “Good morning, sleepyheads. I felt like pancakes. Want some?”

  “Why aren’t you at work?” I ask.

  “First Friday off in ages.” Daniel slides a pancake onto a plate, and pours the next lot of batter into the pan. “Grab some plates and cutlery, would you?”

  Mum races down the stairs, dressed for work. She kisses me on the cheek. “Morning, girls.”

  “It’s nine-thirty. Why are you still here?” I ask, taking three plates from the cupboard and setting them on the kitchen bench.

  “Late meeting.” Mum pours herself a coffee and takes a quick sip. “Will you be home for dinner? Dad thought we could order Thai.”

  “Sure,” I say, but my heart sinks at the mention of Thai food.

  The last time I ate it was with Levi at the park. It’s a nice memory, but thinking about him makes me think about what he’s done, especially since that’s the night he asked me to go to the formal with him. I’ve successfully not thought about him for at least ten minutes. Now I can’t stop thinking about him, again.

  “I’ll be home around five. Stay out of trouble,” Mum says before putting her mostly untouched cup in the sink and heading for the door.

  “Never,” Daniel says. “But we promise not to burn the house down.”

  I grab some cutlery then Karen and I sit at the counter, and Daniel puts a plate between us. Steam rises from the stack of pancakes, and we take one each. I smother mine in maple syrup and dive in. Daniel turns the stove off and puts the pan in the sink.

  He leans on the bench and stares at me. “Okay, spill. What’s the matter?”

  “Nothing.” I take a big bite so I don’t have to talk.

  “You can’t fool me, Katie. Something’s up. What happened last night?”

  “How do you do that?” I ask.

  “Do what?” Daniel shrugs.

  “Know me so well.” I stab my pancake with my fork.

  “You’re my little sister. It’s my job.”

  “Levi was dared to have sex with Katie,” Karen blurts.

  “What?” Daniel asks.

  I drop my fork onto my plate and glare at Karen. “Why did you tell him that?”

  “It’s Daniel.” She shrugs. “Maybe he can beat him up.”

  I glare at my brother. “You are not going to beat him up.”

  “I am so going to beat him up.”

  “I didn’t actually have sex with him,” I say. “And the original dare was to take me to the formal.”

  Daniel stomps out of the kitchen towards the front door. I roll my eyes at Karen and chase after him. He’s already on the front lawn before I make it outside. Daniel pounds on Levi’s front door with a closed fist. I hope he won’t hit Levi as hard as he’s hitting the wood. Or hit him at all. As mad as I am, I’ve already slapped him once, and it didn’t make me feel any better.

  As I reach the steps to Levi’s house, Yvonne opens the door, surprise masking her face.

  “Where is he?” Daniel says before she can open her mouth.

  “Sorry,” I say, puffing. “Daniel’s looking for Levi. Is he home?”

  “No. I’m afraid I haven’t seen him yet.” She frowns. “I thought he’d come home with you, so I’m not sure where he is.”

  “His car is here,” Daniel says. “He must be home.”

  “Daniel, calm down.” I put a hand on his arm.

  “What’s this about? Is everything okay?” Yvonne looks between the both of us. “Did something happen, Katie?”

  My brother opens and closes his fists a few times. “I want to talk to him about something.”

  “Everything’s fine. We can talk to Levi later.” I tug Daniel�
��s arm. “We should go.”

  Daniel presses his lips together, then nods and turns to walk down the steps. I go to follow, but Yvonne reaches out and touches my shoulder.

  “Are you sure everything’s okay, sweetie?” she asks.

  “You coming, Katie?” Daniel calls over his shoulder.

  “In a minute,” I reply. Yvonne and I watch my brother walk across our yards and go inside. I take a deep breath and turn back to Levi’s mum. “I’m sure everything will be fine.”

  “Okay.” She rubs my arm. “I’ll tell Levi you were looking for him?”

  “Oh no, it’s fine. Don’t worry about it.” I offer her a smile before descending the steps and walking towards home.

  The door to Levi’s house clicks closed, and I glance back at the empty veranda. I stop on the boundary of our two properties and look at Levi’s car parked on the street. He put it there last night so the stretch Hummer could use the driveway.

  I squint against the morning sun, and notice the car windows are partly down. Not just one, but all four. Slowly, I walk towards the BMW, and when I reach the passenger side, I bend to look in through the open part of the window.

  Levi is asleep on the back seat.

  His head rests at a funny angle on the armrest in the door. He has one leg bent at the knee leaning against the back of the seat, while the other hangs over the edge into the footwell. On the floor is a silver hip flask. My guess is it’s empty.

  I straighten and back away from the car.

  “Katie?” Levi asks.

  I stop and stare at him as he moves to a sitting position. He peers at me through the partially open window while the rest of his face is shielded by the tinted glass. Why did I come over here? I don’t want to see him or talk to him.

  I turn away. I get halfway to my front door before I hear the car door open and close, but I don’t turn around.

  “Katie,” Levi says again.

  I keep walking and reach the stairs. The soft thud of footsteps follows me.

  “Katie, please.” He grabs my arm and I yank it away, turning to face him.