by K. A. Last
“Hey, what are you doing?” I hear Levi’s voice.
The hand releases my hair, and I fall to my knees in the shallows. I try to turn towards Levi, but pain shoots into my head and the world spins.
“None of your business,” I hear Scott say. I don’t know where he’s gone.
Then he grabs my arm. His fingers dig into my skin.
“Get off her,” Levi yells.
Where is he?
More voices shout around me, but I can’t make out the words.
I scramble on the sand on my hands and knees. The water rushes over my legs as the tide comes in. I look up as Levi’s fist connects with Scott’s face. I vomit again, then fall onto the sand and roll until I’m looking at the sky. The twinkling stars remind me of the stickers on my bedroom ceiling, and I wonder how the hell I got myself into the mess I’m in.
The Chance to Begin
I OPEN MY EYES. SUNLIGHT sears my retinas, so I squeeze them shut again. There’s a dull ache in my head, and when I lift it, a sharp pain pierces my temple. I wince as I try to sit up, but everything hurts, so I resort to rolling onto my side.
“Hey, sleepyhead,” Levi says.
I open my eyes to slits. He’s sitting on the floor beside my bed, leaning against the wall with his knees pulled up. There’s a bucket between us with a face washer draped over the lip.
“What are you doing here?” I groan. “What happened?”
“You got drunk.”
“I tried to make him leave.” Karen leans out of the bathroom doorway. “But he wouldn’t go away. He’s been here all night.”
Levi chuckles. “I take it you’re not feeling so good.”
“Like someone has scooped my brain out with a spoon.” I groan again, and cover my eyes with my hand.
“Do you still feel sick?” Karen asks.
I peek at her through my fingers. “I don’t think so. But I haven’t stood up yet. How many times did I ... was I sick?”
“Before or after you upchucked all over Scott?” Karen raises her eyebrows and grins.
I move my hand to my mouth. “Oh ... that happened, didn’t it?”
Last night comes back to me in a huge tidal wave. Drinking cocktails. The vodka Scott bought us. Dancing. Scott grabbing me. He and his friends following us. Me vomiting all over him. Then him trying to drown me in the ocean. Levi clocking him one in the jaw. The police showed up after that. Apparently, they’d been looking for Scott, and I wasn’t the first girl he’d assaulted. They questioned all of us. I refused to go anywhere but back to the hotel, so they told Karen to get me to bed.
“He deserved it,” Karen yells from the bathroom.
“He also deserved my fist in his face.” Levi says.
Karen sticks her head out the bathroom door. “It was fun watching the police take him away in the paddy wagon. I’m going to take some stuff to the car.”
“Okay.”
She grabs her suitcase and rolls it out to the hall. We’re going home today, but the last thing I feel like doing is sitting in a car for hours. I wish we could fly home, so I could be in my own bed tonight.
The door clicks closed.
Levi clears his throat. “My flight’s in a couple of hours. I should go soon.”
I hang my arm over the side of the bed and study him. Levi seeing me like this is really embarrassing, but I don’t want him to go.
“Did you have a good break?” I ask.
Levi moves the bucket and gets on his knees, coming to the side of the bed. I move so he can rest his elbows on it, and he’s close enough to kiss me. I press my lips together and hope my morning breath isn’t too stinky.
“It was okay,” he says. Then he frowns. “Katie, I ... I’m really sorry for the way I’ve behaved.” He stares at me. “What you said the other night ... about me having to choose. I choose you.”
I smile, but I don’t say anything, because I’m not sure if I completely believe him. Is he saying this in a last-ditch effort to win me back? Or does he really mean it?
“How can I be sure you mean it?” I ask. “What if we get home, and nothing changes?”
Levi adjusts his position and takes my hand. “After seeing you drunk ... everything has changed. Do I look like that to you?”
My eyes widen. “Oh my God, what did I do?”
Levi chuckles. “You didn’t do anything, Katie, but you were a bit ... messy.” Levi wrinkles his nose. “Am I like that?”
“Mostly you’re cocky and obnoxious.” Despite the pounding in my head, I prop myself up on my elbow and smile.
“Really?” He laughs again.
“But you’re like that when you’re sober, too.” My smile widens, and I hope he knows I’m teasing him.
Levi leans forward and presses his forehead to mine. “Katie.” He takes a deep breath.
I put my finger on his lips. “Don’t. Please don’t apologise again. You don’t need to. I need to thank you ... If you weren’t there last night ...”
“That guy is a right royal dick,” Levi says.
“Yep, he is.” I close my eyes, and concentrate on the feeling of Levi’s skin touching mine.
“Last night,” Levi says a few moments later, “I saw you in a way I never have before.”
“Yeah. Drunk,” I say without looking at him.
“Well ... yeah.” He plays with the ends of my hair. “But jokes aside, seriously ... do I look like that? You know ... when I’ve been drinking?”
I open my eyes and pull away so I can take in Levi’s face.
“Look like what?” I ask.
He presses his lips together. “Messy. Out of control. You couldn’t talk or walk straight.”
“You’re acting like you’ve never seen anyone drunk before.”
Levi shakes his head. “That’s not it. Seeing you like that, then thinking about how I must look to you ... it made me feel ashamed. I understand now why you get so upset when I’m drunk, and why you don’t like it.”
I sigh and link my fingers through Levi’s. “I don’t like it. I just wish you’d talk to me instead of trying to hide from everything. But I can’t tell you what to do. I can only tell you how your actions make me feel.” I move, and wince at the pain in my head. “How do you cope with a hangover? It’s horrible.” I flop back onto the bed.
Levi gets up on his knees and leans over me. “Katie, you’re too good for me.”
I stare up at him. “You know I think the same thing about you?”
“When we get home, can we start over?” Levi squeezes my hand. “Can we put everything behind us and ... try again?”
He’s asking me for a second chance, and I want to give it to him. But how do I know everything is going to be okay? Am I about to set myself up for another fall? But then how amazing would it be if everything worked out?
Pretty amazing.
Maybe I need to take the chance.
“Starting over would be nice,” I say.
Levi’s lips curl into a smile. I hold my breath, because in a perfect world now would be when he kissed me, and my breath probably stinks.
I want him to kiss me though.
Levi leans down, and brushes my lips with his, then the door bursts open and his touch is gone just as quickly.
“You’re still in bed?” Karen asks.
I glare at her. “We were talking.”
“Your bags won’t pack themselves. Come on. I’ll be next door.” Karen goes back out to the hall.
Levi and I look at each other, then burst out laughing. I push myself up, and Levi gets to his feet. He holds out his hand and helps me out of bed.
“I need a shower,” I say. “Can you wait?”
Levi checks his phone. “Sure. I’ve got time.”
“Great.” I tuck my hair behind my ear, and search through my case for a clean top, shorts, and underwear. “Be right back.”
The shower helps to relieve the horrible heavy feeling in my body. I vow never to touch alcohol again. I hope Levi meant it when he
said he wanted to start over. We both could use a new beginning, and going home seems like the best place to start.
I smile at my reflection in the mirror, at the thought of spending time with him when we get back. After towelling dry, dressing, and brushing my teeth, I don’t bother with my contacts since Karen and I will be in the car half the day. When I come out of the bathroom, Levi is sitting on the bed.
He stands and comes over to me. He takes the wet towel from my hands and throws it on the bed. Then he brushes my cheek with his fingertips. I blink behind my glasses, and stare up at him. He leans down, and I part my lips.
The door to the room opens again.
“Oh my God, you two have the worst timing,” Karen says.
I glare at her for the second time this morning. “We have bad timing?”
Karen looks from me to Levi. “Just kiss her already.”
I clear my throat. Karen shakes her head, and goes into the bathroom.
When I turn back to Levi, he’s staring down at me with a small lopsided smile. “Can I kiss you now?”
I nod, but I don’t speak, because if I do my voice will crack.
Levi pulls me close, and I put my arms around his neck. I bite my lip as he closes the gap between us, and then his lips are on mine, firm but soft. In that kiss I forget about all the fights we’ve had, and all the stuff that’s happened between us. I forget how hard it is to love him sometimes, because right now loving him is the easiest thing in the world. For a few heartbeats, it’s just me and Levi. Nothing else.
Levi breaks our kiss. “I should go. Don’t want to miss my flight.”
“Okay.” I’m not sure how I get the word out, because he’s taken my breath away.
“You and me ... tomorrow,” he says.
“I’ll come see you when I get home.”
“I’m looking forward to climbing in your window.”
“You’ll need a ladder.” I laugh. “I ripped the lattice down, remember?”
“Shouldn’t be a problem.” He kisses the tip of my nose.
Levi walks to the door, and I want so badly to pull him back and hug him, but I twist my fingers together and offer him a small smile instead. There will be plenty of time for hugs when we get home.
The door clicks closed with Levi on one side and me on the other, and I let out a long breath. I move around the room to collect all the things that have made their way into various places since we’ve been away.
“Is it safe to come out?” Karen calls from the bathroom.
I laugh. “Yes, he’s gone.”
The door opens and Karen smiles. “You almost ready?”
“Yep.” I throw the last of my clothes into my suitcase and zip it closed.
We go next door and say goodbye to Jessica and Stacey before checking out and heading to the hotel car park. Karen and I pack the last of our things into the boot of her mum’s car. It’s been a long break with so much happening, and I’m glad we’re finally heading home. After last night, and my talk this morning with Levi, I think I’m finally ready to forgive him for what he did. Because even after all the things he’s done that have hurt me, I know there is nothing he wouldn’t do for me if I asked him.
Maybe that’s been my problem all along. Maybe all I have to do is tell him exactly how I feel about him, and ask him if he feels the same. Maybe I need to stop living in the past and look to the future.
“Ready?” Karen asks, closing the boot of the car.
“Yeah. Let’s go home.”
We get in and drive out of the hotel car park to navigate the streets of Surfers Paradise. We hit the motorway heading south, and before long we cross the border back into more familiar territory. I wish we could be home tonight, but we have a cabin booked in Coffs Harbour, and I’m looking forward to spending the time with Karen. It will be nice to debrief on the week, especially since I didn’t make it all that great for her.
After a quick lunch stop we keep driving, and we make it to Coffs with plenty of time to grab some fish and chips for dinner, and hit the beach at sunset. Even though the sun isn’t setting over the water, the sky is still lit with beautiful shades of pink, peach, and gold.
I dig my toes into the sand, and pick at the food sitting on the brown paper between us.
My phone buzzes so I pull it from my pocket. “It’s Jess. She and Stacey got home okay.”
Seconds later, Karen’s phone trills with a text message. She holds it up so I can see the screen.
“Same message,” we both say at the same time, then we laugh.
Karen stares out at the water, and I sigh, happy that my friends are safe, and that I get to be here with my best friend in this moment.
“I’m sorry,” I say, stuffing another chip in my mouth.
Karen turns to me. “What the hell for?”
I shrug. “You know ... ruining your week.”
“You did not.” She throws a chip at me. “Don’t be stupid.”
“Come on. We both know it could’ve been better.”
“Maybe. But it doesn’t matter.” Karen smiles. “You and Levi made up.”
A grin spreads across my face. “Yeah. We did.”
“So ...” Karen pops a chip in her mouth. “What next?”
“I guess we see what happens. Go with the flow.”
It’s the best answer I can give her, because I’m not entirely sure about the future. I don’t know exactly where I’m heading. But I do know I want Levi, and when I get home that’s the first thing I’m going to tell him. I want him, and this time, nothing is going to come between us.
“You’ve forgiven him then?” Karen asks.
“Forgiveness is an ongoing thing.” I dust the salt from my fingers and lean back in the sand. “I’m not sure I’m completely there, but I’m close. And we have to start somewhere.”
“Well, I’m here for you whenever you need me.”
I smile at my best friend, so grateful that I have her in my life. We roll up what’s left of our dinner and put the parcel in the bin on the way back to our cabin. We’re both pretty tired and have another day of driving tomorrow, so we turn in early. I have trouble getting to sleep though, and I lie awake for a while, wishing I was at home staring at the stars on my ceiling.
I lie here and think about the first thing I’m going to say to Levi when I get home. I close my eyes, and when I open them again, it’s morning and sunlight is streaming through the window. Karen is making breakfast in the little kitchenette. I roll over and watch her through the door of the tiny bedroom.
“Tea?” she asks, smiling.
“That would be great.”
My head doesn’t ache this morning like it did yesterday, and getting up isn’t as hard. A warm shower wakes me up even more, and I feel pretty great when I get out. I sit at the little table with Karen and towel-dry my hair before downing my tea as quickly as I can.
“In a hurry?” Karen asks.
I bite my lip and get up to put my cup in the sink. “Is it that obvious?”
“It’s okay.” She laughs. “Summer is officially here, and I want to get home, too.”
“Let’s go then.”
We quickly clean up and pack our stuff into the car. We don’t talk much on the drive, and I like that I don’t have to fill uncomfortable silences with Karen. We crank the music, so talking is a bit hard anyway. I roll my window down, lean back in my seat, and close my eyes, letting the wind brush my face.
It’s mid-afternoon by the time we pull off the motorway, and in less than ten minutes I’ll be able to go and see Levi. My hairs prickle on my skin, and a shot of excitement runs through me. We’re not in school anymore. I don’t have to see all the people who have made my life hell for so long every day of the week. I can spend time with Levi without anyone judging us.
We have our whole future ahead of us.
Karen pulls the car up to the kerb outside my house and kills the engine.
“Home sweet home,” she says.
I smile. I think
we’re both happy that schoolies is over and we can resume our normal programming. Karen flings her door open and gets out. I grab my purse and follow, meeting her at the boot of the car.
“Thanks for a great week,” I say. “Even if I wasn’t so great at times. It was ... an experience.”
Karen laughs. “It sure was. And I wouldn’t have wanted to spend it with anyone else.”
She pops the boot and I grab my bags, hoisting my backpack over one shoulder and grabbing the handle of my suitcase.
“Are you going to go see Levi?” Karen nods in the direction of his house.
I shrug and look over to his empty driveway. “Yeah. I guess. Doesn’t look like he’s home though.”
“If he’s not, call him. Then call me tomorrow?” Karen gives me a hug, slams the boot, then gets back in the car. “We can go get hot chocolate,” she calls through the open window.
“Sounds great.” I wave as she drives away, then make my way to the front door. “I’m home,” I say as I push the door open. “Hello?”
Mum and Dad come through from the kitchen.
“Katie, honey. I’m so sorry.” Mum wraps me in a hug, and I drop my bags to hug her back.
I pull away. “Sorry about what?”
“We thought you might have heard already.”
“Heard what?” I ask with a bit more force.
Mum presses her lips together and glances at Dad. Her eyes sparkle with tears.
“I’m sorry,” she says again. “There’s been an accident.”
I stare at her. “What do you mean? What’s happened?”
“Maybe you should sit down.” Dad takes me by the elbow.
I pull away from his grasp and step back, my heart racing. “I don’t want to sit down. Tell me what’s going on.”
Mum and Dad exchange another glance.
“It’s Levi,” Mum says. “He’s in the hospital.”