But on this night, he would not kill me.
Granted, I wasn’t going to kill him tonight either.
But that’s because, as I looked at Eve, I realized I might just have found something worth living for.
16
Eve
I wasn’t sure which part of everything that had just happened shocked me the most.
Derek’s terrible disguise.
Him working to get me free of the hell that was my current life.
Me saving his ass.
Him killing a man.
Me going with him.
Me going back, knowing in the long-term staying with him would only spell death for multiple people.
Actually, no, I knew what the biggest surprise was.
I’d never met a man who actually treated me like a person, who didn’t just treat me like a whore. As soon as I realized he thought I liked being in cahoots with Rock, I was thoroughly convinced he’d just hit me, steal away whatever bit of power I thought I had, and probably leave me stinging with a threat if I dared to open my mouth again. I might have been right to some extent in that context.
But over the course of the time…
Though I’d be damned to admit it to him, he’d actually made me believe that I was a person again.
And then, moreover, he had actually, genuinely apologized to me! Apologized! To me, a whore!
It was no wonder that I was giggling and laughing as soon as we were out of earshot of anyone who might be remotely related to the Black Falcons. It was no wonder that I truly felt as free as anyone ever could in any moment in history.
I felt a wave of relief grow inside me the further away we got. I glanced over at Derek again, studying his features. Aside from the heinous suit, I couldn’t bring myself to find fault in him, even if it was a cheap-ass costume.
But there was one question I still had not gotten answered.
Who, exactly, was Derek?
I thought on that a moment, my curiosity swelling that much more.
Clearly, he’s someone that the Black Falcons hate. A Knight? No idea what that means, but it clearly drove Rock to the point of losing his mind at such a public venue. Maybe this man… maybe he and Rock are like rivals, or something?
That would explain a lot…
I kept these thoughts swirling in my head as we defaulted to general silence, still careful not to draw too much attention to ourselves. It only took one person to run us over or to tackle us and draw more eyes.
“Stop.”
I paused, realizing we’d walked several blocks before coming to a single motorcycle.
Sure enough, it was the one that had passed me by on that street corner. This was most definitely Derek—not that I had any doubt from before, but it was always good to verify.
I glanced at the motorcycle… thinking about its appeal… thinking about the wind blowing… blowing my dress up…
The dress which had no underwear on underneath.There was no way I’d be able to ride with him without flashing the entire town. Assuming that we didn’t wind up getting the cops called on us, I still had enough dignity to not want to go around showing myself off to everyone and anyone out and about tonight.
“I can’t ride on that,” I said.
“What? Why not?” Derek said. “Don’t tell me you’re about to go back in there and—”
“I’m…” I blurted the word, interrupting him, but trailed off, embarrassed. “I’m not wearing panties.”
I blushed, not liking how embarrassed I was at admitting that. While I wasn’t exactly proud of the lifestyle I’d be thrown into, I’d thought I had developed a harder skin in regards to all of this.
I silently cursed Rock on his stupid underwear rules. If it wasn’t for him, this wouldn’t have been an issue in the first place.
Derek looked back at me for a moment, considering what I’d just said. He gave a sorrowful look back at the motorcycle—his face seeming almost apologetic. Then, retrieving his discarded dress coat, he held it out to me. “Here.”
I stared at it.
“‘Here,’ what?”
I asked, thinking he was expecting me to hold his jacket. I wasn’t quite in the joking mood, but I wasn’t also so serious as to not throw some humor his way.
He opened it up, holding it at the wrist of each sleeve, and held it in front of me.
“You can tie it around your waist,” he said, shrugging awkwardly as he continued to hold it in front of him. “It’s not going to fix the problem, but it will at least help keep everything hidden while we ride.”
I blushed at that, cursing my instincts for thinking the worst when, as it turned out, he was actually trying to help. Of course he’s trying to help. He offered to get you a better life.
Fuck you, Rock. You’ve crushed more than my mind. You’ve crushed my immediate reactions.
Offering a smile for thanks, I nodded, took it, and, at the last minute, decided to slip into it instead. It was too big, and it hung almost low enough to cover my thighs. I was instantly surrounded in Derek’s scent, and my body betrayed me and swooned momentarily.
I had a feeling that I was not going to be in that bed alone tonight.
And I didn’t mind one bit.
“Looks better on you than me,” he said with a smirk.
“Cute,” I said. “But let’s get the hell out of here before Rock says hello again.”
“Agreed,” he said, already kicking his legs over the seat.
I’d ridden bikes in the past. This wasn’t my first rodeo on one. But it had been ages since I’d been on one, and given how I saw him driving while safely on two feet, I began to feel more than a little nervous that I was about to get way more than I had bargained for.
“Let’s go!” he roared as the engine’s thunderous crackle came to life.
I won’t lie.
I was fucking terrified riding that bike.
But it was the good kind of terrified, because I had Derek. I trusted Derek to the fullest. I knew that even as he weaved through traffic, drawing honks and skipping past red lights, even as he gunned it at what felt like 65 in a 35 zone, I never lost faith in his skills.
Maybe I was putting too much of a halo effect on him, and maybe I just craved the feeling of freedom so much I looked past all the red flags, but I couldn’t help but see those red flags shift to green. I wanted to yell “go! Go! Go!” But, fearing that he might actually listen to me, I decided silence was the best course.
Then I saw what looked like straight suicide—he was heading for a parking garage at full speed.
“DEREK!” I screamed, and then I buried my head in between his shoulder blades and squeezed his rock hard abs like my life depended on it.
With my eyes closed, I waited for it to end.
And then it did.
The motorcycle, that was.
Derek just started laughing at me.
“You really think I don’t know what I’m doing?”
“I mean, no, well, it’s not that, but,” I stammered, feeling so flustered I couldn’t even put whole sentences together. “Damn it, Derek!”
He just laughed as I blushed, embarrassed I had ever doubted him. It was only then that I realized not only did I not have any underwear on, I also hadn’t worn a helmet.
And it’s still safer than being near Rock.
I followed him to the elevator leading up to his apartment. Turning to look at him, I was surprised to find that he’d been staring at me without subtlety.
“What?” I teased. “You changing your mind about foregoing sex?”
“No, no. Nothing like that. Sorry,” he said, his voice hurried like a teen getting caught staring at porn.
I felt bad. I meant it as a bit of a dark joke, as much a commentary on the unusual situation as a subtle hint at something.
But he took my dry humor as seriousness, which was my fault.
“You’re different. That’s all.”
“Different?” I repeated, now completely
serious—serious about learning what he meant. He had my full, undivided attention.
“Yeah. Like… like I don’t know too many hookers who use words like ‘foregoing.’ And that’s not even to say that they aren’t smart—I’ve known a lot of really bright hookers, actually—but the way they talk is usually pretty…”
“Monosyllabic?”
“I… I was going to say ‘trashy,’ actually, but that works better, I suppose. Only proves my point that much more, but, hey, I won’t complain about that.”
I actually laughed at that. It was nice to break the tension.
I hadn’t had sex for romance or chemistry in so long… maybe it was best that I didn’t do it tonight?
But maybe it was best that I got it so I had something to keep working for and living for.
I didn’t know. I was a fucking mess.
“Well, thank you,” I said, feeling proud of myself for committing to my decision to say the words to him earlier.
But I realized, truthfully, I could never thank him enough. He may not have saved me entirely on this night, but he’d saved me as much as he could have.
“Thank you for everything, I mean. Not just, you know, saying I’m different. Getting me out of there, offering to save me…” I blushed again, “And for ... Not a lot of guys would do something like that.”
“Well that’s bullshit,” he said, catching me off guard. “For the type of gal you are? A man who doesn’t save you is a coward.”
I found myself staring at him back, at an utter loss for words. He turned to press the call button to the elevator, and I imagine that a fire of excitement hit his stomach when he turned and saw me still staring at him.
And in that moment, I swore he was going to kiss me. We locked eyes and let the silence speak for us. I saw him gulp. I felt my hands go weak. I felt my eyes flutter to shut…
And then the door opened and some drunk asshole stumbled out.
“Hey hey! Wow, look at y’all! You—braaaaach—you two like a power couple or something?”
Derek, without violence but with assertiveness, grabbed the man, guided him off the elevator, and got on, holding my hand firmly.
“Have a good one, sir,” he said, letting the doors shut without response.
“Bah, Drew! Drew! Man—”
But the elevator was already going up.
“Drew?”
“Fake name,” Derek said. “You can’t be too careful with giving out your information. Almost didn’t give it to you, but like I said, you’re different.”
I remembered the question that Derek had promised to answer—something I hadn’t gotten out of him yet. So, I got to it.
“Why all the cloak-and-dagger questions just to know who you are?”
“Let’s just say that your employers would be very happy to have me dead,” he answered without hesitation. “And more than enough people in this town know there’s a bounty on my head for putting me in that state.”
Damn. So he must be of great value in these… Knights. Or he is a Knight?
I mean, he’s my knight in shining armor…
Oh good grief.
“What?”
He must have caught me smiling at my own joke.
“Nothing,” I said, brushing my hair to the side. “Nothing really.”
“Hmm,” he said with a knowing smirk.
“So whose your group? Who are the Knights?”
I said the words fast, giving away that I wanted to ask them before I thought better of it.
Derek sucked on his upper lip, still obviously nervous, and stared back at me. I could almost see him replaying all of our conversations as he did, making one last assessment of me.
Then he sighed and shrugged, committing to whatever outcome the decision he’d just made brought his way.
“I’m the leader of the Savage Saviors. Knights is my last name. Savage Saviors is the group. Not much point in keeping it a secret now.”
He said the words like they were supposed to mean something… but aside from knowing Rock hated Saviors, I couldn’t bring myself to know what that something was. I felt like he’d just confessed to being the king of some exotic country—like trumpets should have suddenly blared at the confession—but I felt like the one person in the classroom who’d never heard of the Saviors.
You really want to show how stupid you are? “Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and to remove all doubt.”
As we walked into Derek’s place, I inwardly groaned as I realized I was quoting a dead president while sitting in an apartment, wearing a eighteen-hundred dollar dress with no underwear, across from a guy who’d just turned my world upside-down.
And all I wanted was a bed.
And he didn’t even want to fuck me—well, at least not as the Johns usually did.
I held back the sudden urge to just break down into hysteria. In my defense, I felt I was holding it together pretty well, all things considered.
“You have no idea what I’m talking about, do you?” he asked.
I held on a moment longer, trying to decide if it would be worth it to bluff, and finally shook my head.
Derek smirked at that, seeming relieved.
“Wow!” he said, “I guess you’re not too woven in with the Falcons then, huh?”
“Woven in enough,” I muttered.
“Like one criminal organization wasn’t enough, right?” Derek finally finished.
I blushed and shrugged.
“I barely knew anything about this town’s gangs—didn’t even know there was more than one, honestly—but I feel confident saying that I at least know that the Saviors are not the murder-happy bastards the Falcons are.”
Derek smiled at my words.
“No, we aren’t,” he said. “Ideally, we’d be lovers, not fighters.”
“Is that so?” I said.
I suddenly noticed the space between us closing. Only this time, there was no drunken elevator fool to ruin the moment. There was no Rock to escape, no evil sick fuck to disrupt our moment.
There was just the space between us, rapidly diminishing by the second.
He came to me, placing his hands on my face. Gently, as gentle as a feather on a back. I shuddered, having not felt a touch like that on my face in so long. If I weren’t so enveloped in the moment, I might have cried.
As it was, I saw his face leaning into mine. I closed my eyes.
And he did something no man had done in ages.
He kissed me.
He kissed me like he meant it. He kissed me like he wanted me, not the physical rush of the kiss. He kissed me like he truly wanted to rescue me, consequences be damned.
We kissed for what felt like a full minute, our bodies coming together, our lips sealed, our eyes closed in this glorious heaven that had landed upon us. I never wanted this moment to end, and for once, a dark thought didn’t just suddenly jump into my mind when I had that thought.
When he pulled back, I grinned like an idiot. I practically jumped in place, holding his hands.
“Do you want that bed now?”
Now we weren’t playing the innocent game anymore.
And you know what?
I was fine with it. This wasn’t sex. This was the culmination of our passion and our romance for each other.
I jumped into his burly, thick arms, and he picked me up like the princess that I was to him. I let out a surprise yelp that he could carry me with such ease and felt indescribable joy that he could give me that feeling of being wanted all over again.
We stumbled into his bedroom, and though it was a tad messy by normal people’s standards, by my standards, it was a luxurious palace. He had multiple sheets, a headboard, a stereo, windows… things that I never thought I would take for granted now seemed like unbelievably wonderful things to take in.
But it all started with the man who swore he would do everything he could to save me, Derek.
He got my dress off, but there was no other undress
ing to be had—that was all I wore. Perhaps sensing the need to not have me feel out of place, Derek stripped down to nothing but his boxers, revealing a whole host of tattoos, rippling muscles, and bulging veins that had me wetter than the ocean.
“You’re so beautiful,” he said.
I didn’t even have the thought that he might be lying to me. I just believed him fully.
And then, despite knowing my sordid sexual history, despite knowing all of my flaws and God knows how many men who had been with me, he went down on me, making a trail of kisses from my lips down my neck, my chest, my stomach, and then my hips, hovering just over the place I’d long thought was desensitized but was now all but screaming for him to just get to it.
And when he buried his head into me, it felt like I had escaped the gates of hell. I was soaring out of the fires of hell and toward the heavens, where the rush of pleasure washed over me like a much needed bath after being in the wilderness for eons. Men had brought me somewhat close to coming before, but this… this was different.
I could enjoy the journey for what it was. I did not have to let my mind drift. I didn’t have to think about anything dark. I was totally consumed by the man before me.
“Oh, Derek,” I murmured as his tongue rubbed all over me, the pleasure unreal.
It was all unreal. And as my hips arched, my toes curled, and my fingers ran through his fine hair, I couldn’t believe that I had fallen into this dream.
I came so quickly that I don’t think Derek realized it. I had to force his head away and push him down.
“Fuck, why are you so good,” I said, gasping for breath.
He just grunted in acknowledgment as he reached down and pulled his pants off. From his position and the darkness, as he crawled forward, I could not quite see his cock fully.
But then I felt him slide inside me, and I sure could feel it.
“Ohh…”
I let my head tilt back as Derek rested his on my shoulder. I leaned forward and kissed him as he pushed into me, deeper and deeper with every stroke. I wanted to kiss him to show him how much I appreciated this moment. I wanted to kiss him and let him know that I was never going to hurt him. I wanted to kiss him and show my true affection.
Savage Mercy (Savage Saviors MC #1) Page 21