by L A Cotton
“I- I do.” Her eyes shuttered, telling me all I needed to know. “I want to erase him from my mind. Forget the last couple of weeks ever happened. Even if it’s just for a little while.”
“And I want to help you, I do. But not like this.” I closed my eyes, inhaling a ragged breath. When I opened them again, Summer was staring at me with such honesty, such emotion, I felt a little winded. “I don’t want to be something you regret,” I admitted. Because this girl, this lost broken girl, was fast becoming important to me. I couldn’t explain it; hell, I couldn’t even understand it, but I felt things for her. Confusing as fuck, scary things.
She pressed closer, her legs brushing mine, her lips almost touching my jaw. My body was rigid, my breath caught in my throat. She was going to kiss me. It swirled around us like a storm. Dangerous, with the potential to devastate. My heart hammered so hard in my chest, blood pounded between my ears.
But then at the last second, she surprised me, barely touching her lips against the corner of mine. “Goodnight, JB.” She rolled away from me, tucking her body against mine. I released a breath, unsure what to do. Without overthinking it, I slipped my arm over her waist and dropped a kiss to her shoulder. “Sleep, Summer. I’ll be right here.”
I WOKE TO A MASS OF blonde hair in my face. Edging back, I smoothed Summer’s hair, suddenly aware of how close we were, and the fact that my morning wood was tucked neatly against her ass. I jerked away but Summer said, “Don’t go, not yet.”
I don’t know what I’d expected this morning, but it wasn’t this. Her hand covered mine, tugging my arm closed around her slight frame.
“I haven’t slept so well since... well, you know.”
“That’d be all the vodka you drank.” I smothered a laugh, mentally trying to recall the last time I woke up in bed with a girl. Before Sasha, I didn’t make a habit of sticking around, and even with Sasha, I tended to avoid sleepovers.
Yet, here I was, wrapped up in a girl I hadn’t even kissed yet.
Hell must have frozen over.
“Or you,” she said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, and I gulped down the air caught in my throat.
“About last night, Summer, I—”
She rolled in my arms, putting us eye to eye. “I remember everything.” Guilt flashed across her face. “Thank you for not taking advantage of me.”
I nodded, not trusting myself to speak. Summer’s hand slid to my cheek; her skin silky smooth against mine. “I’m not made of glass, JB. I won’t break if you touch me.” Her eyes darkened with lust.
“Summer,” I warned. I was trying to be a good guy, to do the right thing, but a saint I was not, and if she kept tempting me like this, I knew I’d eventually crack.
“Don’t you want me?” Her voice trembled as she ghosted her lips over mine.
The thread snapped.
I slammed my mouth down on hers, threading my hands into her hair. She moaned against my lips, the small sound like a taser to my dick. I wanted her. Fuck, I wanted her so much. And she was right there offering herself up. But I knew she didn’t mean it, knew deep down, it was cover for her true pain. And I wouldn’t be that guy.
I wouldn’t.
But it didn’t mean I wouldn’t kiss the shit out of her, tangling my tongue with hers, not caring if she tasted like the morning after a bad night with a bottle of vodka.
“JB.” My name sound good on her tongue. Too fucking good.
I broke off the kiss, touching my head to hers. “In case you need me to spell it out for you. I want you, Summer. I want you so fucking much it hurts. But I won’t be that guy.”
I won’t.
Chapter 13
Summer
He kissed me.
JB kissed me.
It was perfect and terrifying at the same time, and my heart felt like it might burst out of my chest.
But as he stared at me, lust and need swirling in his eyes, guilt crashed over me and I edged back.
“Summer?” Concern lifted his brow.
“I... I’m—”
“Hey, hey.” His fingers brushed my arm, sending shivers rippling up my spine. “It’s okay, I’m not asking you for anything you can’t give me.”
“Y- you’re not?”
He gave me a sad smile. “You’re confused and you’re hurting. And you’re looking for something to fill the space left after...” He trailed off.
“That’s not... I mean, this isn’t...” But he was right. I was looking for an escape. Something to make all the pain stop. It didn’t mean I didn’t feel this connection growing between us though. I did. Every time JB looked at me, the world stopped, just for a second, and I could breathe again.
“I like you, Summer,” he went on. “I like you more than I probably should, but I don’t want to be just some guy you use to forget.”
Tears pricked the corner of my eyes. “I’m a horrible person,” I sobbed.
He leaned in, brushing his nose over mine. “No, you’re not.”
“I told Maverick everything. It was supposed to help, but I think it only made it more real.”
Gathering me close, JB tucked me against his chest. “I don’t want to sound like a killjoy,” he said. “But you smell like a brewery.”
“Oh my god,” I breathed, burying my face into him, mortification flaming my cheeks. His body heaved with laughter, one of his hands drifting beneath the shirt covering my body. His laughter died, as his touch made my legs clench together.
“Sorry,” he snatched his hand away. “I, uh...”
This time it was me who laughed, pulling back to meet his eyes. “It’s okay, I like it. And maybe I shouldn’t, maybe this is all wrong and moving too fast, but I like you too, JB.” My honesty surprised me. But after my conversation with Maverick, a switch had flipped in me. I’d spent so long living in their shadows, watching as they chased their dreams and made lives for themselves, happy to plan my life with Nick because it was what I knew. Nice. Familiar... Safe.
But Mom and Rick had a point. I was young. I’d only ever been with Nick; we’d only ever been with each other... well, until her. I stuffed down that train of thought. I knew I wasn’t to blame here. But maybe asking for forever from Nick had been too much when he didn’t know what he was giving up.
Don’t do that. Don’t make excuses for him.
Energy crackled between us. I knew I needed to go shower, to leave the sanctuary of the pool house eventually. But I wanted to hold onto this for a little bit longer.
“What are your plans for today?” JB asked, catching me off guard.
“Plans?” He nodded. “I was going to watch mindless TV and eat my body weight in ice cream.”
“Come out with me.”
“I...” Anticipation thrummed through me. “Yes, okay.” The second I said the words, I felt lighter, a tiny seed of excitement taking root in my stomach.
But it was nothing compared to the way I felt when JB flashed me a blinding smile. Warmth radiated from him and in that moment, it was hard to believe he’d once been the guy at war with my brother.
“Yeah?” His eyes twinkled.
“Yeah.” I nodded, fighting a smile of my own, ignoring the little voice whispering that this was a bad idea. That letting myself fall any further into JB Holloway would only end up with me getting hurt.
I’d wanted forever with Nick. But maybe all I needed was right now with JB. He made me laugh and smile and set off butterflies deep inside me.
I liked him.
Plain and simple.
And I was going to cling onto that for as long as possible.
“I’M GOING OUT,” I CALLED as I hit the bottom step.
“Summer, wait a second, please.” Mom appeared in the hall; her brows knitted with concern. “Out? Out where?”
“Just out with a friend.”
“And this friend,” she gave a little sigh. “Wouldn’t happen to be JB Holloway, would it?”
“Mom.”
“Summer, I spo
ke to your brother. He’s worried, and quite frankly, I am too. It’s too soon. You need to—”
“What?” I said with disbelief. “Stay locked up in my room? Go off to college and pretend like none of this happened? Take Nick back so he can cheat on me again? I’d love to hear all about what you think I should be doing, Mom.”
Her eyes widened. “I know it’s been a rough couple of weeks, baby...” She inhaled sharply. She’d always called me baby, but I’d noticed since... everything, she’d been calling me ‘sweetheart’ instead. The sentiment was nice, but it didn’t stop the stab of pain I felt every time she didn’t call me baby.
“Summer, come on, I’m just worried about you. About you getting involved with someone like JB.”
“Someone like JB. What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“He’s a Holloway, sweetheart. That family are poisonous.”
“I can’t believe this. I thought you’d be happy I was going out, trying to find some kind of normal again—”
“Oh, sweetheart, I am. I just think it would be better if—”
“Goodbye, Mom, I’ll see you later.” I stormed out of the house, slamming the door behind me. Indignation burned through me. I’d told JB to wait at the end of the driveway to avoid any awkward introductions, but now part of me wished I’d let him park outside the house and come ring the doorbell for me.
My cell phone vibrated as I reached the end of the driveway.
Rick: Mom said you guys had a fight?
Unbelievable.
Me: Did she also tell you where I’m going?
Rick: What are you doing, Summer? JB isn’t the right guy for you...
Me: And Nick is?
I turned off my cell phone and shoved it in my purse. Today was supposed to be about relaxing and taking my mind off everything.
JB’s truck was already waiting. He had the window rolled down and his elbow resting against the frame. “You came,” he said around a smile.
“So did you,” I replied, going around to the passenger side and climbing inside.
JB’s eyes swept over me slowly, a flicker of lust in his eyes. He swallowed, gripping the steering wheel tighter. “You look really pretty,” he said.
“Thanks, it’s the most myself I’ve felt since Nick dropped the bomb about him and Deanna.”
“Deanna?” He stepped on the gas and eased us onto the road.
“Yeah, Deanna, the girl he had sex with. I don’t get that, how guys can love someone so much and hurt them in the worst possible way.”
He side-eyed me. “I don’t think we always think with our brain.”
“You’re not... you haven’t...?” The words stuck in my throat.
“Ever cheated? You’d have to be in a relationship for that to happen and I’m not...” He cupped the back of his neck. “I don’t do relationships.”
“Oh.” My heart sank.
“Shit, I just meant I’ve never liked anyone enough to...”
“It’s okay, I get it. I bet being a hotshot football player means there’s no shortage of girls.” I glanced down at my fingers as they tugged nervously at the hem of my dress. What the hell was I doing? Rick and Mom’s warnings might have irritated me, but they had a point. JB was everything I wasn’t. Popular jock. Star athlete. No doubt a total player. And I realized I wasn’t so much hurt over their words about JB, as the insinuation that I was somehow too innocent for someone like him. That I’d get chewed up and spit out.
My spine straightened with defiance. I was quiet and I did prefer the shadows to the spotlight, but it didn’t mean I was an angel.
“What’s going on in that head of yours?” JB’s gravelly voice demanded my attention.
“Nothing,” I lied, watching him discreetly out of the corner of my eye.
His lip quirked up as if he saw straight through me. “You know I want to be here, right? he said. “That this isn’t some game?”
Offering him a small nod, I focused on the road ahead of us. JB was driving us out of Wicked Bay, and although I wouldn’t admit it, I was relieved. Relieved we wouldn’t be spending our time together under scrutiny.
“So where are you taking me?” I asked when another ten minutes, and a stretch of coastal road, passed us by.
“It’s a surprise.”
Humor laced his words but then the big blue building came into view. “The aquarium?”
“Yeah, is that okay?” He glanced over at me and I swear I saw fear in his eyes.
“Yeah, I’ve always wanted to visit, but just never got the chance.” Long Beach was only a short ride away from Wicked Bay, but I’d never visited.
“I thought it might be a distraction,” he grumbled.
“A distraction?” I asked as he pulled into the parking lot and found an empty spot.
“Yeah.” He cut the engine and twisted to face me. “I used to come here as a kid and always found it calmed me down.” JB’s eyes dropped to my mouth, setting off those damn butterflies again. “So yeah, I thought it might be a nice distraction.” He was saying one thing, but his eyes were saying another, and part of me wondered just exactly who needed distracting.
Him.
Or me.
JB WAS RIGHT. IT WAS impossible not to feel a deep sense of peace as we wandered from display to display. The tropical tunnel was my favorite, feeling so immersed in the sea life. Watching the vivid coral sway gently in the current, the rainbow of fishes, the deadly elegance of the zebra sharks. Time seemed to stand still as we stood by the glass, watching another world play out in front of us.
“It’s so beautiful.” I traced my fingers over the glass, my eyes tracking a sea turtle just minding his own business, completely unaffected by the steady stream of visitors all stopping to take a look.
“I was just thinking the same thing.”
I looked up at JB, but he wasn’t watching the tropical paradise in front of us; he was watching me. My eyes dropped away, my cheeks flushing under his heavy regard.
“Shit, I’m sorry. Guess I got... distracted.”
I peeked back up and he was smiling. “Distracted, huh?” My lips curved.
JB took a step toward me, taking the air with him. He lowered his voice as he spoke. “You are so beautiful, Summer. Sometimes I look at you and it hurts.” He reached for me, brushing the hair from my face and tucking it behind my ear. Familiar feelings rushed to the surface, making my skin tingle. I knew it was probably wrong to feel like this, but I couldn’t seem to stop myself. I was swept away by JB’s touch, the way he handled me with such care.
I broke eye contact first, settling my gaze back on the tank. I needed to think, to breathe. And it was hard with him looking at me like that.
He let out a quiet chuckle, surprising me when he moved behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist, leaning in close. It was such an innocent thing yet, my heart beat wildly in my chest, my moral conscience whispering things to me I didn’t want to hear.
Me and Nick were over. I wasn’t betraying him or what we’d had. He’d thrown me away with little thought when he’d slept with Deanna.
Thrown us away.
Nick had broken me in ways I’d never thought possible, but JB was piecing me back together. Smile by smile. Innocent touch by innocent touch.
But I was falling fast and hard for a guy I barely knew.
A guy I knew eventually would leave me.
Just like everyone else.
Chapter 14
JB
Summer was quiet.
Too fucking quiet.
We’d been having a great time wandering around the aquarium when things had got a little intense in the tropical tunnel. She didn’t shy away from my touch, the way I held her hand as we continued our tour of the place, but she was all up in her head.
“Are you hungry?” I asked when we spilled out of the strange blue building, the Cali sun beating down on us.
“I could eat.”
“Great.” I grinned, flicking my head to the seafront. “
I know just the place.”
We walked the short distance to Surfs Seafood Shack in silence. Our joined hands hung between us, and Summer made no attempt to untangle our fingers, but I wished I knew what she was thinking.
I wanted to know everything about her, another first for me.
“I hope you like seafood?”
“I love seafood.” She smiled as I opened the door letting her slide past me. Her arm brushed my chest and she might as well have tasered me, the way my body lit up with need. Shit. It was getting harder to behave around her, to resist pulling her into my arms and kissing the shit out of her. But I knew this needed to go at her pace.
The hostess greeted us, leading us to a table overlooking the ocean. The windows were thrown wide, bringing the outside in.
“Oh, wow,” Summer exclaimed. “It’s so pretty.”
“Right?” I loved this place. It had been a favorite of Mom and Dad’s growing up, whenever Dad came to Long Beach for business. And when Summer had agreed to go out with me, I’d known I wanted to bring her here. Wicked Bay had its fair share of beautiful spots to eat and hang out, but it also had too many familiar faces. Here we were inconspicuous.
Summer studied her menu and I studied her. The way her soft blue eyes danced over the listings, widening when she spotted something she liked the sound of.
“What?” She caught me watching.
“Nothing.” I ducked my head into my menu. This girl had no fucking idea how easy she was to be around. She was like the sun, pulling others to her warmth, her glow. And I knew I was already prepared to risk getting burned just for the chance to bask in her light a little longer.
“What’s good?” she asked, breaking the tension that had settled over us. “I want everything.”
“The shrimp is amazing or the fish stew. But the Surfers platter is my favorite.”
“I saw that, but I’m not sure I can eat one to myself.”
“Want to go halves? We could get some fries and bread to share too.”