Fragments of Time

by Dawn Dagger

  Dierdre laughed at me, a noise like twinkling windchimes. “Clayton, its two in the morning. My informant will not be there until around the 23rd hour.” She stood and stretched. “You need to get some rest. Would you like the bed, or the couch?”

  I glanced over at the posted bed, feeling I would never be able to sleep in it. I would feel so guilty. My mother deserved a bed like that, not me. I shook my head. “Couch is fine.”

  “Suit yourself!” She clapped her hands and said something softly, and the lights dimmed. “I have a wake up call for the morning. Now, sleep, Clayton.”

  I lay down on the couch as she wandered away. I wasn’t sure if she had crawled into the bed, but she mumbled again, and the room went black.

  I shifted uncomfortably on the couch, staring into the darkness. It was silent in the room. The perfect temperature. Pitch black.

  By all means, I should have fallen asleep. The conditions were perfect for sleep. I hated myself, but I was scared of the dark. It made me feel uneasy. I had no spacial awareness in the dark. Without the infuriating barking of the trailer park dogs, or drafts in the walls, I felt uncomfortable, and closed in.

  I could not hear Dierdre’s breathing as she slept, and bothered me further. I stood quickly from the couch, feeling claustrophobic. There were curtains, they had to have lead to a window, right?

  I thrust out my hands and wandered forward, feeling for where I thought the window might be. Bang! I gasped and nearly fell over as I knocked me knees against the solid coffee table that sat in the middle of the room. I groaned between my teeth and rubbed my knees.

  “Clayton?” Dierdre whispered from her bed. She sounded half asleep. “You okay?”

  “Yeah…” I mumbled. She mumbled something in response, but before I could ask her what she had said, small lights along the wall became dimly lit. I could clearly see the thick curtains now.

  I crossed over to the section of the wall and pulled aside the red curtains to reveal a floor to ceiling window. The window had a notch in it, and I realized it was a door, leading out onto a deck. I pulled open the door quietly, then stepped outside. I did not close the door, for fear that it would lock behind me.

  The door led out onto a railed-in deck. The deck had two, long outdoor chairs on it. From the deck I could see the city in all directions, and far below tiny cars with their tiny lights flew past. The groups of people looked like one pulsing mass.

  I leaned against the metal railing, breathing in the cool air. Wind tugged at my clothes, and the coolness felt good. I felt fresh and alive out in the cold. My skin had never felt so clean in the air.

  I wandered over to the chair and lay down on it, staring into the grey-black sky. I could not see any stars, but I was not bothered. Many more buildings stretched taller than ours, and acted as neon stars.

  Cars honked, music thrummed, people chattered… I loved the noise. It felt safe.

  I began to think about my mother as I lay on the chair. Was she safe? I sure hoped so. Dierdre did not act like she was in immediate danger, so I hoped that she wasn’t. She had been kidnapped and taken from me, everything changed, but I did not know if she was being mistreated. I hoped not.

  I pulled the collar of the flannel over my mouth and nose to warm my cold face, and I realized the clothes smelled of cinnamon too. The clothes did not smell of rust water and plasticky soap. I liked the smell of cinnamon.

  When I saved my mother, and the world, we would buy cinnamon soap. We would drench everything in the cinnamon scent. I suddenly wondered if lavender smelled so wonderful. What about lilacs? All scents I had seen in the stores—did they feel quite so fresh?

  One day I’ll know, I decided, closing my eyes to breathe in the scent deeper. I was warm and content in the fresh air, the city all alive around me. If you fall asleep faster, you’ll know sooner, you know.

  I didn’t want to fall asleep. I was scared of falling asleep. I wanted to meet up with Dierdre’s ‘informant’, I wanted to find my mother. Maybe, maybe if I wished hard enough, then the time would fly by, and we would be in the casino, on our way to becoming heroes.

  Maybe…

  As if by my desperate wishing, I suddenly opened my eyes, and the sun was staining the sky red. It was dawn.

  The dawn of all new things.

  2

  Thump!

  I sat up straight, startled by the sudden noise inside the hotel. Was someone trying to break in? I stood and stretched stiffly. I must have fallen asleep, as cold and tight as my muscles were. I slid open the sliding glass door and stepped into the dark room.

  “Dierdre?” I whispered, my eyes roaming over the dark figures in the room. I wished I could turn on the lights with words like she did. I just didn’t know the command.

  I crept toward the bed, then launched forward as I saw her figure sprawled on the ground. “Dierdre!” I cried. She was lying on the floor, convulsing. Her eyes were rolling back into her head, and her cheeks were flecked with spit.

  I threw myself to the ground, feeling panic welling in me. “Dierdre! Dierdre!” Her body continued to convulse and I took her shaking head, cradling it into my lap. She was having a seizure. I knew that. I knew enough to know it matched the one my mother had before she became so very sick.

  But I wasn’t smart enough to remember what to do.

  “HELP!” I cried, feeling tears well in my eyes. I was helpless. I didn’t want Dierdre to be hurt, or to die. What had caused her seizure. I cradled her head in my lap, then gripped her hand, hoping to stop her from snapping her neck. I cried and called for help, but no one ever came.

  No one ever came.

  After what seemed like forever of me sobbing and holding her as she shook, unable to get anyone, she went frightfully still and white. I leaned over her, panting.

  “Dierdre?” I whispered. “Dierdre, are you okay?”

  Her pale lips parted and she let out a small breath, then her silver lashes fluttered. I leaned closer over her, staring into her eyes, waiting for her pupils to dilate. They did, widening circles of black in blue, but they did not register recognition. The blue was pale, not mercury intense.

  “Are you all right?” It was barely a whisper. My throat was swollen with worry.

  Her eyes locked onto my face, and she frowned, squinting slightly. “I… Who are you?” I reeled back in shock. She sat up slowly, shakily. “Wh-where am I?”

  “U-Um, we’re in a hotel. M-My name’s… Clayton…”

  “Hotel?” She looked inappropriately startled, looking around frantically.

  “No! Nothing like that!” I stepped back from her, to give her space. She slowly rose to her feet. Her blue eyes darted like a frightened animal’s. “Um- what’s the last thing you remember, Dierdre?”

  Her wide gaze slowly turned towards me, then she hugged herself lightly. “Uh… I’m not… It’s all cloudy…”

  “Okay… Um…” I glanced around, then pointed to the jumpsuit that lay on the end of her bed. “Maybe that’ll help you? All I know--”

  She launched herself at the bed, then tore through the pockets. She dumped a ring of keys, her money filled card, a few crumpled candy wrappers, and a note. With trembling fingers, she picked the note open. I read over her shoulder as she glanced at the scrawled handwriting.

  La Palace du Caesar- NOT THOMAS.

  “‘Not Thomas’?” I asked out loud. “Why is it important that it isn’t Thomas?”

  “Who is Thomas?” She mumbled under her breath, setting the note down atop her pile. “‘La Palace du Caesar’? That’s a casino, I know… But what is happening there?”

  “We’re, uh, we’re saving the world?” I offered in a squeaking explanation. “Your informant will be there… That’s what you were saying at least… Before you had, uh, your seizure?” I wasn’t sure what information would panic her, and what would help her remember what had happened. My own head was spinning.

  “Informant…” She placed two fingers on her nose, looking deep in thought. “Casi
no? Save the world… Save the…” Her gaze suddenly snapped up, focused. Clear and bright. “You said seizure, didn’t you?”

  “Y-yes?’

  “Oh, no, not again!” she cried, putting a hand to her forehead and swinging around. “No, no, no no, no…” Her shoulders heaved as she suddenly panicked for breath and I instinctively reached for my inhaler. It was not in my pocket-less pyjama pants, which gave me a bit of a panic as well.

  “Not what again?” I squeaked.

  She turned to face me, looking utterly defeated. “I get these seizures, as you saw. I forgot most of what was happening, and my brain gets all jumbled. Eventually the memories come back, something triggers them, but until that moment, I’m lost!”

  I frowned. “Well, what triggers them?”

  “I don’t know!” she cried, throwing her hands in the air. “I really don’t know.”

  I sighed and rubbed my forehead while she paced back and forth, muttering under her breath. My stomach gurgled and I clutched it, feeling my face flush with embarrassment.

  “Well, uh, how about we get breakfast, and then get ready to meet your informant?” I asked. “We have until, uh, I think 23:00 you said. Which is a long time.”

  She nodded slowly, pursing her pale lips. “23:00…Okay…” She took a very long, deep breath, moving her hands to smooth her silver hair and white nightgown, then gave me a small, confident smile. “Let’s get on some street clothes and eat. We’ve got plenty of time.”

  The ringing of the wakeup call sounded not long after we decided to get dressed, and Dierdre asked for them to bring up their full-sized breakfast. Whatever that meant. I was sure it would be full-sized, no matter what it was.

  Dierdre dressed in a pair of blue jeans and a soft pink hoodie, braiding her hair up in a convoluted way I couldn’t understand and didn’t think looked particularly attractive. I didn’t comment, though.

  I put on a black t-shirt, a pair of jeans, and a leather bomber jacket that were left for me, then we both brushed our teeth and waited for the breakfast to arrive.

  We sat on the end of the four post bed, silent, deep in our own thoughts. Dierdre had resumed her calm exterior, no longer panicking despite her lack of memories, and was now flipping through the channels on the TV. I paid little attention to the colors flicking across the screen, instead opting to stare at the clock and count down the minutes until breakfast. After breakfast, it would be counting down the minutes until we could finally go to the casino.

  “Clayton,” she finally addressed me, turning on the bed to face me, and not the TV.

  “Hm?” I pulled my gaze away from the clock on the wall.

  “We have time to kill before we have to meet with whoever ‘not Thomas’ is. Would you like to wander the city? We could get you a haircut and buy some extra fancy clothes for the casino?”

  “No.” I shook my head, feeling my stomach twist. “No, thank you.” I felt sick, even thinking about doing all of those fun, expensive things while my mother could be hurt. I hated this. I hated waiting.

  The door buzzed and Dierdre stood, opening it. A cart filled to bursting with food was pushed into the room, and the door closed quietly. I stared as Dierdre wheeled it over to the bed. She climbed back onto the bed, then grabbed a plate and handed it to me.

  “Eat up,” she laughed.

  I filled my plate with enough bacon for three people, and a dozen different pastries and pancakes. I covered everything in syrup and ate with my hands after the bacon kept falling off of my fork. I ate until every bite was gone, and my hands and cheeks were covered in syrup.

  Dierdre delicately ate fruit and a flaky pastry filled with blueberries, neither eating as much as, nor making as much of a mess. I laid on the bed, feeling content and full, finally not sick to my stomach when I ate, and she quietly began to clean up.

  I tried to get my sluggish, wandering mind to concentrate on the time and our plans for the day, but nothing revealed itself to me. My mind was just as full, and didn’t want to think. I closed my eyes to help me think better, and I began to breathe steadily.

  Then I must have fallen asleep.

  3

  I woke up suddenly to Dierdre shaking my shoulder, smiling softly. “Hey, Clayton, time to get up.” I sat up quickly, startled. How long had I slept? I hadn’t meant to. “It’s about time to go.”

  I nearly fell out of the bed leaping to my feet, then rubbed the sleep from my eyes, waiting for instructions. I was still wearing my flannel pyjamas. As I looked up, I realized that Dierdre was already dressed and ready.

  She was wearing a long, red dress that had a slit above the leg, and thin spaghetti straps that accentuated her pale, thin shoulders and the sparkling necklace she wore. Her hair was now down from the messy, odd looking braids, and was like a silvery waterfall.

  “Why didn’t you get me up sooner?” I asked, feeling stupid. “I could have gotten ready when you did!”

  “You’re fine!” She gestured to the bathroom door with a white-gloved hand. “Clothes are in the bathroom for you. And don’t worry, girls take forever to get ready.”

  I nodded and started for the bathroom, realizing only after I had closed the door that I should have been more considerate and complimented Dierdre. She did look lovely, after all.

  I’ll tell her on the way to the casino.

  A pile of clothes was laid neatly on the sink, and I moved them aside, quickly brushing my teeth. I just barely managed to dress in the stiff, black suit and white button-up shirt without calling for help. It took me entirely too long to tie the red tie around my neck and to fit my feet into the uncomfortable, shiny leather shoes, but I managed.

  I stared at myself in the mirror for a very long time. I looked very fancy. I would look like I belonged in the casino.

  I hated the suit.

  It reminded me of a very suppressed memory of being very small and young in a very large, very tense room.

  I shuddered off the lingering cobwebs of memory, and ran a hand through my fluffy curls. They looked fine enough, I supposed. Not that I knew fashion.

  I wandered out of the bathroom, feeling as if I were a duck. I walked stiffly and with my feet flat, because I couldn’t bend them in the unforgiving shoes. I really missed my sweatpants.

  Dierdre, to my great relief, did not laugh at the way I walked, and instead thrust her arm out to me. “I know what casino it is, it isn’t too far away. Once I meet with, uh, my informant I guess, then I think I’ll remember enough to uh… save the world you said?”

  “Yeah.” I nodded as I took her arm uncomfortably and we began out of the hotel room. It was awkward holding her arm, as she now was nearly a foot taller than me in her black heels. I glanced over at her as we stepped into the glass elevator. “Um, do you have the note? Where are you keeping your card, too? Don’t we have to pay to get in?”

  She gave me a small laugh, her blue eyes sparkling with delight. “This dress has pockets, look!” she practically squeaked, shoving her hands in the invisible pockets that the dress did indeed have.

  “That’s pretty cool,” I admitted. “Also, uh,” I felt my face prickle with heat. I wasn’t used to giving people compliments, but it was very rude not to, my mother had always taught me. “You look very nice, by the way.”

  She flashed me another smile, this time wrinkling her nose. “Thanks! It’s a little uncomfortable, actually. But I feel fancy.”

  I nodded and we stepped off of the elevator. No one laughed at us now. In fact, we looked so much like the other patrons in the lobby of the hotel, no one noticed us at all. I didn’t like feeling that much like the people around me.

  We stepped out of the hotel and into the cool night, which was just as noisy as it had been the night before, if not noisier. We walked slowly, hindered by our shoes, down the sidewalk bustling with people. No one cared about our existence. It was interesting. Almost philosophical.

  I might have had some deep thought about the whole thing, but my heart was pounding too hard f
or me to think clearly at all. I was extremely nervous. What made the situation worse was the tightness of my chest.

  I could not find my inhaler anywhere in the hotel, and I was afraid that I was going to have an attack and die without it.

  I forced myself to think about the lights of the casinos instead. I peered at the names as we passed the giant buildings, which seemed to be vomiting out light and music and people. Some of the letters were so curly and bright I had no idea what they were saying, and I hoped they weren’t the ones we were looking for.

  Finally we stopped in front of a building that looked as if it were made entirely of marble. It was shaped like the buildings from ancient, ancient times, Rome, if I had to guess, with towering columns and a figurehead of a naked woman at the top.

  This casino was quieter music-wise, and had less lights pouring out of it, but the people from this casino looked more beautiful and richer than I ever could have imagined human beings were capable of.

  I hated it.

  Everything seemed so wonderfully, beautiful unreal that I felt like Dierdre and I shouldn’t be there, because we were real. Even the security guards who stood beside the golden plated entrance doors seemed to be ethereal.

  We stepped into through the doors without being stopped, and my pounding heart was louder than the bass roaring beneath our feet. The floor was marble in the building, and I concentrated on it as opposed to anything else. There was too much going on for me to look at it. It gave me an instant headache.

  I turned my attention to Dierdre instead, looking up at her. “Do you remember how we will know what your informant looks like?”

  She pursed her lips and narrowed her eyes. “If I had to guess, it may be whoever here looks extremely out of place. Someone who isn’t actually participating in what a casino participates in…”

  “Well, that person would be really dumb and--” I stopped as she pointed. Atop a balcony a man in a black suit with black sunglasses stood, leaning against the railing, a sweating drink in his hand. “Yeah, that looks like your guy, Dierdre.”