That Way Madness Lies

by Dahlia Adler

  “Are you sure it’s going to be a small group?” Sabrina asked.

  “Bianca doesn’t lie to me. Just keep it together.”

  “I wasn’t speculating. I can hear the music from here, Katherine.”

  The door was already open when they pulled up to Lucentio’s house, and people spilled out onto the lawn. Katherine scowled. Clearly the “intimate get-together” had gotten out of hand.

  Sabrina looked down at her tasteful, knee-length, gray wool cocktail dress then over at Katherine’s modest light-gray turtleneck and gave her a dry look.

  “If you’re uncomfortable, I’m sure we can make an appearance for support, give them some cash, and head back home,” Katherine snapped.

  “It’s not that I want to leave,” Sabrina said. “I just didn’t know this would be a cool party, and I look like a teacher’s assistant.”

  “I’m sure Bianca has something you can wear if you want to change.” Katherine parked the car an extra block away to be safe. “I, on the other hand, will be keeping these clothes on. I prefer to look intimidating. We are not their peers.”

  They pushed through the crowd to get inside. Already, Katherine could smell weed and the salty tang of too many people in a small space. The living room was packed, but Bianca’s white-gray hair shone brightly from the back of the room. She was sitting in the middle of the couch, pressed snugly against Lucentio.

  “Oh, wow, Lucentio shaved them off…,” Sabrina pointed out brightly, bumping up behind Katherine as a tall boy shoved past them.

  Katherine’s eyes flicked over to Lucentio, and his muttonchops were indeed gone. It was a drastic improvement. His dark-gray hair was also brushed, and he was wearing a well-fitting button-up shirt and nicer jeans. Katherine would never have considered Lucentio to be good-looking, but he looked good happy. She elbowed her way past the people in front of her and called out Bianca’s name.

  “Katherine!” Bianca shrieked, tearing her eyes away from her fiancé to throw her arms open for a hug.

  Katherine held her sister close and rocked back and forth, the way they always did after not seeing each other for a while.

  “Oh, god,” someone to her left said, before leaping off the couch with such urgency that they knocked into Lucentio hard enough to send him careening into the side of Katherine’s shoulder.

  “Asshole!” Katherine shouted after him and gently touched Lucentio on the side of his head. “You okay?”

  “Yeah!” Lucentio said, rueful. “Sorry, that was just my man Petrucio. Maybe he drank too much. Anyway, thanks so much for coming. I know the situation isn’t what you might have wanted…” He trailed off, looking kind of sheepish.

  “Don’t worry about it. I’m not the one you should be trying to impress,” Katherine said. “Welcome to the family. Bianca is a peach, but you’ll definitely regret the rest of us. Here, I have a gift for you both.” She pulled an envelope out of her purse and handed it to Lucentio. “Don’t spend it all in one place … or if you do, try spending it on housing.”

  Sabrina hugged the couple as well then plopped down into the newly vacated space on Lucentio’s other side.

  “These heels are for sitting, not standing,” she said, glaring up at Katherine. “Where is the food? Please tell me there’s food here.”

  Bianca and Lucentio were staring at each other again.

  “Bianca,” Katherine called.

  “Yeah,” Bianca said distractedly.

  “Sabrina’s hungry. Which way is the kitchen?”

  Bianca didn’t respond, she just sighed and leaned her head against the side of the couch, snuggling up closer to her soul mate. Lucentio’s face was still lit up like Christmas.

  Katherine threw her hands up. “I’ll find it myself.” She turned and began trying to elbow her way through the crowd.

  “If there’s chips, bring me chips!” Sabrina called after her.

  “Yeah, yeah, chips.” Katherine pushed past a kissing couple and into the hallway. It was darker past the living room, and there was a snaking line for the bathroom, packing everyone much tighter. Katherine slid against the wall, inching her way past the bathroom and around a corner. Kitchens tended to be brighter than most rooms in a house, so if the light at the end of this hallway was any indication, she was getting closer.

  Katherine ducked under a swinging arm and slapped away a hand that touched her hip, forging determinedly toward her goal. She rose up on her tiptoes to try to see over a guy in front of her who seemed to be pushing in the same direction when a hand came out of nowhere, grabbed her arm, and dragged her through a dark doorway. Her assailant slammed the door hard behind her and covered her mouth with his hand.

  “Ow! What the fuck!” She pushed with all of her strength, hoping whoever had grabbed her would fall backwards, but she’d overestimated the size of the room, and they both slammed against the wall with a gasp. This was a closet, not a bedroom. Katherine grabbed at the door and only felt a hole where a doorknob should have been.

  “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” It was a soft, deep voice.

  So, it was probably a guy.

  “Let me the fuck out of here!” she shouted into what she hoped was his face.

  “Stop yelling, just listen to me,” he said, reaching toward her.

  She slapped at his hands wildly and shoved him hard again, then she turned and began beating on the door.

  The guy wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her away from the door, switching their positions so his back was against it and she was stifled between winter coats. “STOP!” he yelled. “Just stop!”

  Normally Katherine wouldn’t have stopped screaming, but he sounded scared. Or at least more scared than a rapist probably would have sounded. She stopped screaming and opted instead to yank one of the metal hangers out of a coat, bend it sharply, and stab it in his general direction.

  He grunted then hissed in pain. “Fucking hell, is that a hanger?”

  “If you don’t let me out of here,” Katherine said, “you’ll leave bleeding. Now tell me what the fuck is going on.”

  “Okay, OKAY, that’s what I’ve been trying to—”

  She poked the hanger harder.

  “Ow. God, I’m sorry! Just, let me … okay.” He calmed his wild breathing and backed away as much as he could. “Katherine. I need you to lower the hanger so I can reach up and turn on the light.”

  “You can turn on the light from here just fine,” she said coldly. “And how do you know my name?”

  He huffed in frustration. “Please. The hanger’s on my neck, and I don’t want it to go in by accident. Here, move it to my chest or something.”

  Katherine felt a tug on the hanger and stubbornly didn’t move for a second before letting him lower it just a bit.

  “God. Is this how—” He sighed angrily. “Whatever.”

  After a bit of fiddling, the light turned on.

  The first thing she thought was, I’ve never met this guy before.

  The second thing was less of a thought and more of a feeling as gray and black and white became painful to look at and the colors began to tear through. His hair was … like the way bread looked when it was cooking, dark and shiny. His eyes were the same hue … but lighter, like the way weak tea tasted. His face was bright, the way she thought the sky looked on a cloudy day.

  She didn’t have words for the colors. She knew how to list them: red, blue, pink, green, yellow, brown. She knew that she was seeing them, but she didn’t know which was which. His cheeks looked like the feeling of heat, and his mouth looked the same but hotter. He matched some of the hats hanging on the inside of the door. Beyond the colors, he was tense. His jaw was set, and his gaze crackled with intensity. As the realization of what was happening—who he was to her—began to sink in, Katherine closed her eyes. Just to make sure.

  When she opened them again, he was still there and so were the colors. There was no turning back—she was colorborn. Even though the hanger in her hands had cut the side of his f
ace and a thin line of dark also dripped from his neck, he was silent. Just staring back at her, his eyes flicking away every so often in obvious humiliation.

  Katherine lowered the hanger and finally tore her eyes away from him to take in the vibrancy of the rest of the closet. There was a coat in a color so bright, it hurt her tender vision again, just like the first time. There were also coats in shades she was already familiar with: dark gray and light gray. There was a scarf on a shelf that reminded her of the smell of grass and another that made her think of the texture of strawberries.

  She looked down at herself. She realized she didn’t like the colors she was wearing and felt a pang of embarrassment. Her skirt was a warm color and her shirt was a bright color and her shoes were something in between that didn’t quite look right. It took a second before she remembered that most of the people at the party wouldn’t be able to tell. Just Bianca and Lucentio, probably. And, of course, this guy.

  When she finally managed to look back up into this stranger’s eyes, she frowned.

  “My name is Petrucio,” he said firmly. “And I’m your fucking soul mate.”

  “No, you’re not,” she said reflexively.

  He just looked at her with a pity that she loathed on his face. She also noticed his clothes seemed to match, even though color was clearly new to him, too.

  “You’re not my soul mate, because the likelihood of me finding the only soul mate I’ll ever have in the same town within the same week of my sister is astronomically low,” Katherine tried. “Maybe it’s someone out there in the hallway. Maybe it took a second for the colors to kick in and my soul mate is waiting for me outside.”

  Petrucio didn’t say anything.

  “Maybe someone is playing a joke on me, and when I come out, they’ll all yell surprise. Maybe I angered a fucking demon or something. Just to check, you aren’t Lucentio’s friend who ate a goldfish for money, are you?”

  Petrucio reared back. “It wasn’t for money, it was a bet that I lost!” he cried, offended.

  Katherine laughed mirthlessly over his explanation. Cool. Very cool, my new soul mate is a childish dork who eats live animals. “Are there any other horrible surprises for me?” she cried to the heavens. “Anyone else going to ruin my day today?”

  “Ruin your day?” Petrucio repeated in disgust.

  “This isn’t exactly part of my four-year plan, Petrucio!”

  “You’re acting like you’re the only one impacted by this!”

  “Oh, you think I’m acting like I’m the only one impacted by this?” Katherine spat. “It’s not like I’m not dealing with enough nonsense, it’s not like I’m about to conceal my sister’s elopement a few weeks from finals. You have no idea the amount of stress I’m under right now. I can’t do this.”

  “At least you aren’t supposed to be perfect for the bitchiest girl in the entire history of our high school. At least you don’t know you’ll spend the rest of your life with someone who loves making people miserable. You don’t know me at all, Katherine, but I know you. Everyone knows about you, and how happy everyone was when you finally graduated. People were dreading you even showing up to this thing. The only thing I’m bringing to this situation is some story you heard about me doing something ridiculous.” He paused. “Lucentio got to swoon into a flower store display. I got stabbed in the throat. What does this say about you? And more importantly, what does that say about me? That we supposedly fit?”

  Katherine’s throat began to sting, and her face felt hot. “Move. I want to get out of here.”

  “Stop.” Petrucio put his hands against the door. “Think about what you’re doing. This is Bianca and Lucentio’s party.”

  “I don’t care,” she said, trying to push past him.

  “They’re still in the honeymoon period of being colorborn!” he argued. “Why are you going to ruin this for them? Don’t make them associate this day with us and with your fucking bullshit. I didn’t pull you into this closet for a game; I did it to avoid ruining this party. We need some time outside of here to sort this situation out, and if you don’t understand that—”

  Katherine pushed against his chest and tried to breathe out of her mouth so she wouldn’t remember what he smelled like. It would be easier to never see him again that way. She’d heard that smell was involved in the soul mate process, and she wasn’t risking getting attached to his. “Good point!” she huffed, pushing even harder. “That’s how I know you’re not my soul mate. Because if you were, we’d be in the honeymoon period, too.”

  “We would be if you weren’t so self-centered,” Petrucio said. “Even if you don’t care about your sister’s feelings, I definitely care about Lucentio’s, and you’re not going to wreck this for him.”

  “I do care about my sister’s feelings!” Katherine shouted. “How dare you even say that?” He didn’t know her, and he didn’t understand anything about their family.

  “What do you think is going to happen?!” he yelled back. “Do you think I just casually hang out in closets? Do you think I pull people where they don’t want to go, regularly? God, Katherine, you’re so…” He closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead.

  “Look. What would you have done if you’d walked in, hugged your sister, turned to hug Lucentio, and saw me? Huh? What would you have done, if you were looking at me in front of everyone and the colors started coming and you knew it was me, Lucentio’s meathead friend? Would you have laughed it off? Kept it to yourself and come to talk to me about it later?” He paused. “Of course not. You would have gotten angry and everyone would have come to see what was the matter and the entire night would have been about you. Calming you down and mocking the idea of how laughable it is that we would be suited for each other and god knows what else. So. When I saw you, instead of getting to spend time looking into my soul mate’s eyes and discovering color together, I had to run and hide before you could see me and make things worse. Why? Because I’m a good fucking friend, Katherine.”

  Katherine covered her face and sank down to the floor. She could sense Petrucio standing, looking down at her. “What are we going to do?” she asked quietly.

  After a moment, Petrucio kneeled across from her. He pushed his curly hair back with one hand and scowled up at the light. “What happens about this on your end? Bianca mentioned … something about your dad?”

  “My dad’s brother will get the lion’s share of our grandparents’ inheritance if Bianca gets married before I do. If I had met my soul mate before she did, then Bianca would have been free to have a big wedding like she always wanted instead of settling for this slapdash party and running to City Hall afterwards. I was supporting her by helping pay for the license because I knew she’d have to get it in secret. Our father can’t find out before it’s done.”

  Petrucio paused to let that sink in. “And you’re still going to let her have that slapdash City Hall wedding anyway, even though the circumstances have changed? Wow.”

  “I need you to stop pointing out my flaws, okay? It is taking everything inside me to not kill you right now. Let’s work together to stop that from happening.” Katherine’s hands were still firmly over her face.

  Petrucio scoffed. Katherine looked up just in time to see him roll his eyes.

  They sat in relative silence for a while, the party still raging outside. The music was so loud, they could feel the vibrations through the floor. No one had tried to open the closet door yet, which was more comforting than Katherine would have thought.

  “Can you turn off the light? This is a bit overwhelming for me. My eyes still hurt from … you know,” Katherine admitted.

  She listened to Petrucio climb to his feet, pull the string that plunged the room back into darkness, then settle back across from her, his knees bunched up under his chin and the toes of his gym shoes pressed against the wall on her left side.

  “Why do you hate men, anyway? Bianca said you don’t date girls either, so what gives? Are you asexual? I have a cousin who’s asexual…
”

  Katherine sighed angrily. She didn’t want to share this with a stranger. She barely shared her feelings with Sabrina. But Petrucio was waiting patiently. She could feel his body heat from across the small space, and even though she couldn’t see him, she could tell, somehow, that his face was warmer than the rest of him.

  “It’s not that,” she said finally. “It’s not that I don’t … like … men. It’s more that I don’t have time for them right now. I wanted to focus on school then focus on my career. Most people don’t meet their soul mates until they’re in their late twenties or early thirties. I should have had more time. And I wanted to be the one to choose my partner. I wanted to be able to meet someone and work together to build a relationship. Not have instant love tell me what I was going to do and who I should trust. It doesn’t seem fair.”

  The closet was still for a while as Petrucio thought. “How we react to our circumstances is a choice. We don’t have to do anything we don’t want to do, you know. We could choose to react one way to this, or we could make the best of it.” She heard him take a deep breath. “For example, I know that you’re … ambitious—which is a good thing,” he interjected quickly. “And that you have strong principles and you stick to them. I know that family is important to you, but your values are more important to you and that you’re willing to work hard to defend them. I know … that you have high expectations and that your high expectations make people around you try harder. I know you’re a fighter and that you can defend yourself if need be,” he said with a wry grin that she could hear. “We might not have ever locked eyes before this, but your reputation precedes you. I called you names earlier, but I really meant that you’re tough. Strong, I guess.”

  Katherine lowered her hands from her face and scrunched up her knees so she could rest her cheek on them and listen to his voice.

  “I know that you’re responsible,” he continued. “I know that Bianca looks up to you, which means you’re worth looking up to. It’s … it’s not the worst that I could find, you know?”