Risk: A Driven World Novel (The Driven World)

by Harlow Layne

“Only ten more laps,” someone called out.

  I took off my headset and stared up at all the TVs on the wall. It was strange how all of this had become my life in such a short period of time. In Barcelona, I had turned into a homebody who only lived to work, and now I had traveled to fourteen countries in the last several months. I was pretty sure I’d found the man of my dreams—my patient—and wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. I wasn’t sure how to make that happen, though. Could I give up my practice? I didn’t see any other way if I wanted to see him regularly. Maybe I could visit him once a month by going to every other race. Or he could come to me during the breaks in between races. No, he loved exploring new places in each country. I couldn’t ask him to come back to me only so we could spend a week together here and there.

  We still had time to figure everything out, but I needed to decide what I could live with and what I couldn’t live without.

  I was broken out of my thoughts when Colton stood looming over me with a scowl on his face. “We need to have a meeting when the race is over, so don’t leave this room. We’ll wait for Callum to come up and join us.”

  “Okay,” I gulped. That didn’t sound good. I wasn’t sure what he wanted to meet about. There were only two more races left in the season. Maybe he wanted to see about hiring me for next season as well. Even if he did, it didn’t explain the scowl or the way he kept turning to look at me with narrowed eyes.

  The after-race festivities took quite a while. There were the podium and interviews, along with all the congratulations from the team, and who knew what else since I didn’t always stay for everything. It was nearing the one-hour mark by the time Cal came into the room with Colton on his heels. The moment they walked through the door, Colton closed and locked it. Cal leaned against the wall with his jumpsuit unzipped and pushed down to his waist. He was a sweaty mess with his white t-shirt soaked and his hair sticking up all over the place. Still, he was as handsome as ever. His blue eyes met mine for only a moment before he kicked one leg up on the wall.

  “What’s this meeting about, boss?” he tried to joke, but it was obvious he was just as leery about this meeting as I was.

  Colton mirrored Cal’s posture, leaning on the wall across from him. “During the race, I was sent a video.”

  “Okay,” Cal drew out. “Is someone spying on us? Stealing trade secrets?”

  “They spied something, alright. Not company secrets but your secret,” he gritted out. The muscle in his jaw ticked as his gaze went back and forth between the two of us.

  All the blood drained from my face as I sat painfully still.

  “How could you be so stupid? I had my suspicions that I tried to ignore because I know you’ve been going through a difficult time after your wreck. I understand that more than most, but we have rules, and you blatantly disregarded them.”

  “What are you saying?” Cal pulled back from the wall and crossed his arms over his chest.

  “You can’t be sleeping with your therapist. Both of you know better.” He turned then to look at me. “Do you want to lose your license?”

  “No, of course not,” I answered hoarsely. “I—”

  “Save it. I hate to do this, but…” He shook his head, and a look of sadness came over him. “We’ve got to let you go, Aspen. The message said that if you’re at another race, then they are going to send the video to the board and get you fired.”

  Cal took two furious steps toward him but then stopped himself. “Who sent the video? How do you even know it’s us? I want to see it,” he barked out. His face turned hard as he stood in front of his boss.

  Colton kept his eyes on me but handed his phone over to Cal. He hit play, and I heard our voices and waves crashing in the distance. Someone had caught us when we were in Malibu. That was the only possibility. I didn’t want to watch it. Instead, I watched as Cal’s face became every shade of red there was. At one point, I thought his head might pop off.

  “You can’t deny it,” Colton said when Cal handed him back his phone.

  “When did that asshole send this?”

  “Does it matter?”

  “It does to me. He’s trying to ruin me. Ruin us,” Cal’s voice broke on the last word.

  “It wasn’t long after Udo had to come in. I hate to do this because you’re the best driver out there, but what choice do I have?” Cal shook his head furiously before he stormed over to the door. “Where are you going?” Colton asked when Cal’s hand was on the doorknob.

  “I’m going to smash his fucking face in and get every copy of that video,” he seethed. I’d never seen him this mad before. It wasn’t something I liked coming out of him.

  Colton stepped up behind him and placed his hand on Cal’s shoulder. “It doesn’t matter if there’s a video or not. I know the truth, and there’s no undoing that. Don’t do anything that you’ll regret and wind up ending your career.”

  Cal hung his head and nodded. When he turned around, he couldn’t even look at me.

  “Jon’s already got you a plane ticket back to Barcelona for tonight. It will be waiting for you when you arrive at the airport. All you have to do is show your passport.” Colton said before he turned away.

  The look of disappointment on his face made my heart sink. I was going to be gone in a matter of hours and leaving Cal behind. I was supposed to go back to his house with him until we left for Brazil. Now everything was over. The man I’d fallen so deeply for couldn’t even look me in the eye.

  “What about me? How am I supposed to drive?” he asked in a voice that sounded so much like a child that I had to hold back a sob.

  What would happen to Cal? Would he be able to race without me? Would he be in danger?

  “You should have thought about that before you stuck your dick in your shrink.” Colton let out a frustrated sigh. “There were very few stipulations, and the main one was to not sleep with your therapist. We can find you someone else. A male therapist, perhaps.”

  “Are you sure I won’t fuck him too?” Cal gritted out. “I didn’t sleep with her because she was convenient, Colt. What we have is real. We were going to come to you and tell you about us.”

  But not until the season was over. Our time at his place had been magical. Cal showed me he was a little bit messy when he doesn’t have housekeeping coming in to pick up after him every day. He also showed me how loving, attentive, and sweet he was when we didn’t have to keep our distance from each other. We walked along the beach each night as the sun went down, had sex on every available surface in his house, and fell asleep in each other’s arms each and every night. I never wanted it to end, but now it was gone.

  “I’m sorry, Cal. It’s too little, too late. She needs to head back to the hotel and collect her things.”

  It was then he finally looked up and made eye contact with me. His blue eyes were sad as he took in my state of shock on the couch. I hadn’t been able to move from the moment Colton started talking. He walked over and held his hand out for me to take. My shaky hand took his as he helped me to stand. Cal wrapped his arm around my shoulders and muttered how sorry he was into my ear as we stepped out into the hall.

  It killed me that Callum couldn’t even look at me for longer than a few seconds. For once, I had no idea what he was thinking. We headed back to the hotel in silence, and he didn’t say a single word to me. He watched me from the couch with sad eyes until I had everything packed up and was ready to head to the airport. Alone.

  When I wheeled my luggage to the door, he finally took action. Coming up behind me, Cal wrapped his arms around me and nuzzled his face in my hair.

  “I hate this,” he said on a choked whisper. “I won’t let him report you if it’s the last thing I do.”

  Turning in his arms, I was shocked to find his eyes glassy and red-rimmed. Cupping his now stubbly cheeks in my hands, I fought back the emotion that was trying to overtake me.

  “Don’t do anything stupid, Cal. Udo’s doing this because he knows it will affect you an
d hoping that he’ll beat you.” I tried with everything in me to keep my sadness out of my words, but I knew I was unsuccessful when his hand clasped around the back of my neck and pulled me into his chest.

  “It doesn’t make any sense. Even if he beats me in the next two races, he won’t win the season. He doesn’t have the points. He’ll be lucky to be racing for CD Enterprises next year.” With every word, his arms tightened on me a little bit more until I was in the best bear hug of my life. “Fuck, Doc, I hate that you’re flying back to Spain tonight. How am I going to sleep without you in my bed?”

  Before I could answer, he fisted my hair and pulled my head back to crash his lips to mine. This wasn’t a kiss I’d experienced from him before. It was desperate and rushed as if I might be pulled through the door at any moment.

  A goodbye.

  It felt like the end.

  Our breaths hitched at the same time as we pulled away, and a single tear made its way down my cheek. I didn’t bother to brush it away. I knew once I stepped out the door, I was going to break down, and my face would be flooded with tears. This was the end of my happily ever after.

  Resting his forehead to mine, we gazed into each other's eyes, unsure of what to say, yet they said everything with only a look.

  I’m going to miss you.

  I love you.

  Goodbye.

  13

  Callum

  Sao Paulo, Brazil

  My eyes closed of their own volition as I stared out at my car. Formula One racing had been my entire life for the last ten years, and after giving up friends, companionship, and the love of my life for it, it didn’t seem worth it anymore. I hadn’t slept more than a couple of hours at a time since Aspen stepped out of our hotel room. I gave her a couple of days to get home before I tried to contact her, and maybe that was too long because now, she wasn’t taking my calls or returning any of my messages.

  I wasn’t sure how I was going to race today without her. Knowing that if panic took over, she wouldn’t be there to talk me down. To remind me of what I needed to do or to simply hear her voice. It didn’t matter what she said, the instant her voice came over the system, my heart and breath slowed and then sped up for an entirely different reason.

  Udo passed by me with a smirk that I wanted to punch right off his smug fucking face. He was lucky I’d stayed in my hotel rooms since I found out he was the one that sent the video of Aspen and I making out heavily on the beach.

  At first, I’d lain in the bed Aspen and I had slept in so I could take in her scent and pretend she was still by my side, but once it disappeared, I stared out at nothing hoping the nothingness would take me. With barely any sleep or food, I was in rough shape, but I knew even in my worst condition, I could beat Udo’s ass out on the track. That was if I didn’t have a panic attack.

  Kaspar slapped a hand on my shoulder and then gave it a hard squeeze. “Get your head in the fucking game, man. Don’t let that rat bastard win. When this is all over, you can go get your girl.”

  Keeping my eyes on my car, I asked. “How d'you find out?”

  “I’ve known all along, man. It wasn’t hard to see how much you changed since she joined the team.” I swiveled my head to look at him. “Not your driving. That’s always been stellar, except for...”

  When I was all freaking out and losing my shit. Yeah, I knew.

  “You smiled and talked more. Hell, you were friendly to everyone but Udo and Eduardo.”

  I narrowed my eyes at him. “I’ve always been nice to everyone but them,” I amended.

  “That’s true, but you were different, and now,” he frowned, “now you’re sad all the time and barely give anyone the time of day.”

  “She won’t answer my calls. I think she turned off her phone. None of the messages I’ve sent her are marked delivered.”

  “Are you sure she didn’t change her number?” he asked, hesitantly.

  “I’d think the same thing if I didn’t get her voicemail and hear her voice. It fucking sucks, man. I get why she had to go, but at the same time, how am I supposed to drive without her?” I looked back out at my car. The object that used to mean everything to me, but was turning into resentment with each passing day. I never thought I’d feel that way about my career. “What am I going to do, Kas?”

  “You’re going to go out there and kick ass. Show those assholes they can’t beat you no matter how hard they try.” He slapped my back again and then left to go over his checklist of things to do before the race.

  I hadn’t eaten what I usually ate before every race, making my gut growl with hunger. I was hungry, but I couldn’t eat. Not since she left. I knew I should have tried to shove my ritual breakfast sandwich down my throat or even something for lunch, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it.

  One of the crew ran by me and asked if I was ready so fast, I couldn’t make out who it was.

  All I knew was it was time to get my shit together and race. Walking over to the green and white car, I ran the tip of my finger over each letter of my name before I squatted down, kissed my fingertips, and placed them on the hot ground. On autopilot, I got in my car and buckled in, waiting for my team to finish and attach my steering wheel.

  Closing my eyes, I did exactly what Aspen had taught me. I’d already done my breathing exercises this morning, but I did them again as I tried to center myself. Once my mind was blank, I pictured my happy place. It used to be on the ranch I grew up on as the sun rose, but now it was of Aspen in my bed with her dark hair spread out over my pillow. She was looking right at me with a big smile on her face. It was so real I felt like I could reach out and touch her.

  “You’ve got his, Callum,” she whispered, her voice floated on the breeze. “I love you.”

  We’d never said those words to each other, even though I knew we both felt them. Why had I waited to tell her? I should have said something before she left that night from our hotel room.

  She sat up, the sheet falling to her waist, exposing her beautiful naked breasts. Lifting her hand to her lips, she kissed it and blew. “Good luck, Cal.”

  A beep went off in my ear, signaling the race was about to start. The second my steering wheel was attached, I grasped it like my life depended on it. The leather of my gloves flexed with the movement. The crew stepped away from the car a second before the engine roared to life.

  The radio was silent as I watched the countdown. I was ready—or as ready as I could be. I was determined to show Udo up and come in first place this race and the next. I was going to shoot the fucking champagne right in his ugly fucking face as I stood on the podium from the top spot.

  My tires spun as I took off along with my heartbeat. My grip tightened on my steering wheel, and my entire body tensed as the car on my right swerved into another car. Take off was the hardest part now, but I managed, even without hearing her voice through my headset. Kaspar updated me with everything going on around me but otherwise stayed quiet.

  I wasn’t sure what set me off. Nothing in particular happened. One minute I was fine, passing cars and starting to take the lead, and the next second, my vision went hazy for a moment. When it came back, I tried to focus hard. Breathing and trying to find my happy place, but my anxiety built from my stomach up to my esophagus in a nanosecond and completely overtook me. My breath turned into labored pants.

  “What’s going on, Crew?” Kaspar asked. When I stayed quiet, he finally said. “It’s just you and me on here. I’ve blocked everyone else out. Talk to me.”

  “I don’t know, man. I…nothing and something.” I managed to get out the stuttered sentence.

  “Try what Dr. Belle taught you,” he rushed out as I slowed down.

  “I did, but it didn’t work. Why didn’t it work?”

  “Okay, okay. Give me a minute. Can you keep driving?”

  “I’m trying,” was all I could say. I wasn’t even sure if I could make it around to the pit. At least wondering why he wanted me to give him a minute kept my mind slightly dive
rted and helped ease the panic slightly.

  He came back on after what seemed like five minutes, but I knew he’d been radio silent for less than a minute. “Okay, Cal. How are you doing?”

  “Trying to hold on. Where am I at in standing?” I knew I’d fallen some since I’d slowed down at one point.

  “You’re sitting nicely in fifth, and Udo is eleventh.” The corners of my mouth tipped up at him including Udo’s place. He knew I’d want to know but wouldn’t ask.

  “Are you ready?”

  “I’m not sure right now is the best time to surprise me. I’m barely hanging on by a thread.”

  “Cal?” Aspen’s voice called out. Maybe I was too far gone because I had to be imagining her voice in my head. I didn’t want to say anything and have Kaspar think I’d gone crazy.

  “I don’t think it’s working, Kaspar,” she said. Her voice sounded defeated. “Is he okay? I haven’t talked to him since I left.”

  “No, Miss Aspen, he’s not okay. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have called you. He needs you, and I thought if I held up my phone to the mic, he might be able to hear you, but…I’m not sure what’s going on. He was talking and now—”

  “Aspen.” My voice cracked at the reality that it might actually be her and not my imagination.

  “I’m here, Cal. Are you doing your breathing?”

  “Not right now. I think I stopped breathing altogether when I heard your voice. I’m not doing so great here, Doc,” I confessed. Even as I said the words, my world started to right itself. I wasn’t sure how only hearing her voice could make everything in the world slow down, but it did.

  “Can you hear me okay?”

  “Yeah, you sound distant, but I don’t care. Your voice is music to my ears.” Emotion clogged my throat, knowing Kaspar called Aspen so I could continue driving.

  “You sound like you’re already doing better,” her voice called lightly through the system.

  “Not enough. Don’t get off, Doc. Talk to me. Let me hear your sweet voice.”