Aglow

by Michelle Pennington

  She turned and hurried upstairs to her room, but as she went, she heard Shawn telling Mark, “Well, you wasted that opportunity.”

  “Look, Shawn,” Mark replied, clearly upset, “when I want to kiss a girl, I can manage on my own.”

  Ashley didn’t wait to hear anymore. She shut the door to her room and fell onto her bed, hiding her burning face in a pillow. Mark’s words kept playing over and over in her mind. “When I want to kiss a girl…,” he’d said. Clearly he hadn’t.

  Chapter 5

  As We Dream by the Fire

  Sometime later, Ashley roused herself from her misery and saw the time on her alarm clock. She hadn’t turned on the light when she’d come in, finding comfort in the dark, and the numbers glowed reprovingly at her. She realized that she couldn’t stay up here all night. Her mom would be working on dinner, and as mad as she was at her family, she knew she’d better go down and help.

  She’d have to face Mark again, but she was dreading it, so her disappointment at finding no one in the living room surprised her. Only the mess of decorations that was still strewn around the room gave any sign that the humiliating scene had ever happened. She stood frustrated in the silent room, wishing that she could bawl somebody out.

  She walked towards the kitchen and soon heard a faint murmur of voices. When she got there, she found her mom and Kayla standing in front of the refrigerator, discussing what was needed for dinner.

  “Where is everybody?” Ashley asked.

  Kayla looked up from her study of the vegetable bin. “We sent everybody to my house to get them out of the way. We figured you could use a break after that little scene in there.”

  “Gee thanks, but your sympathy comes a little late, don’t you think?”

  “Yeah, it kind of got out of hand, didn’t it?”

  “I’ll say. Look, if you guys insist on trying to set us up, could you be a little more subtle about it? If Mark ever talks to me again, I’ll be amazed.”

  “Oh, it wasn’t that bad,” her mom said, as she rinsed off a couple of roasting chickens at the sink.

  “Excuse me, but, yeah it was. And who the heck hung that tacky, plastic mistletoe over the stairs?”

  “I don’t have any idea,” her mom replied loftily. “Why don’t you go make the salad? Everything is set out over there.” She motioned with her head as she seasoned the chickens. “Make a big one. We’re going to have a lot of people for dinner tonight.”

  “I bet we have one less than you’ve planned on,” Ashley told her.

  “What do you mean? Aren’t you eating with us?”

  Ashley closed her eyes and shook her head, exasperated. She replied slowly, enunciating each word, “I mean Mark.”

  “Why wouldn’t he be eating with us?”

  “Oh, I don’t know. Maybe because he was annoyed by our whole crazy family trying to force him to kiss me when he clearly didn’t want to? If you were him, would you be anxious to come sit around a table with all of us?”

  “You’re blowing it all out of proportion. It might have been a little uncomfortable for him, but he has a sense of humor. I’m sure he’ll be here. But he won’t have anything to eat if I don’t get these chickens into the oven.”

  Ashley realized that she was standing in front of the oven and hastily moved out of the way. She went sulkily over to work on the salad. She washed, peeled, and chopped, the whole time obsessing over the clock, wondering when Mark would arrive if he was coming.

  Fifteen minutes later she had managed to put together a salad that even her mom could compliment her on. It looked fresh and beautiful in her Mom’s big crystal bowl. Dinner was coming together quickly. Two large chickens were roasting in the oven, rice pilaf was steaming on the stove, and Kayla had a pan of brownies ready to pop in the oven as soon as the chickens were done.

  Thinking about the meal ahead, Ashley remembered the enormous lunch Mark had eaten that afternoon and the many references he’d made to her mom’s cooking. If she knew anything about him, it was that he liked to eat. Maybe he wasn’t the type to let a little awkwardness over kissing a girl, or not kissing her, keep him away from a home cooked meal.

  Dinner was turning out to be quite an event. Her mom almost always cooked a nice meal, but they usually served themselves from the stove and ate around the kitchen table. For tonight however, her mom had been busy for several minutes with a tablecloth, centerpiece, and candles in the dining room. Ashley decided that she should probably check on her own appearance.

  “Mom, do you have anything else you need me to do?”

  “Not right now, sweetie. In a little bit you can set the table, but that can wait a minute if you need to do something.”

  “I thought I’d go freshen up a little bit.”

  “Go right ahead. Everything’s under control.”

  As she left the kitchen, Ashley could have sworn that she saw Kayla wink at her mom. Oh well. Of course they knew why she wanted to look nice for dinner. They were women after all.

  Back upstairs, she brushed her hair until it was once again smooth and shiny, then carefully touched up her makeup. She had a clear complexion most of the time, but definitely not a flawless one. Her clothes still looked nice, but she put some silver hoops in her ears and spritzed on her favorite perfume. Before she went downstairs, she did a final check in the mirror. She felt good about the way she looked, which gave her the confidence she needed to go back downstairs and face the rest of the evening.

  As Ashley got to the living room, there was a loud commotion at the front door as her dad, Shawn, Justin, and the two kids came in. They were anxious to eat, and mouthwatering smells were pouring out of the kitchen. She wasn’t surprised when they all headed in that direction, but were quickly shooed away and told to wait in the living room until they were called in to eat.

  Justin had apparently been filled in on what had happened earlier, because when he saw her he started singing, “Oh, Ashley wasn’t kissed by Santa Claus, underneath the mistletoe tonight….” She stuck her tongue out at him, but otherwise ignored him.

  Ashley was frustrated that Mark hadn’t come with them because she was tired of nervously listening for the doorbell. Deciding that she’d had enough of her own absurdity, she went over to the stereo in the living room and put a Christmas CD on to play. She turned it up as loud as she thought the others could tolerate it and went to set the table. Before she’d gone too far however, she heard her dad complain about the volume and tell someone to turn it down. Oh well, she could still hear it.

  Kayla was setting out the best china on the counter when she came back into the kitchen. Ashley hurried over to take it to the dining room. “How many places am I setting?” she asked.

  “Set it for six. I’m going to eat in here with the kids,” her mom instructed her.

  “No, don’t worry about it, Nora,” Kayla interjected. “I’m going to eat with them. You can sit down and enjoy dinner.”

  “I’ll enjoy it just fine with my grandchildren. I’m sure you’d enjoy having a meal when you didn’t have to cut up their food and coax them to eat their vegetables. We’ll get along fine without you, I promise.”

  “Well, if you’re sure, it would be nice,” Kayla finally agreed.

  “Six it is,” Ashley said gathering up the plates. It didn’t take her long to set the table. As she went into the kitchen for the napkins and silverware, her mom was taking the chickens out of the oven and Kayla was putting the rice in a serving dish.

  Ashley was tweaking the placement of the last napkin when she heard the doorbell ring. Her heart gave a nervous flutter. She was sure that it was Mark, but she wasn’t about to be the one to open the door.

  She stayed in the dining room, needlessly straightening the silverware, straining to hear Mark’s voice. Soon she could hear him talking to her mom and Kayla in the kitchen, though she couldn’t understand what they were saying. She knew her cheeks were reddening again, and she tried desperately to calm herself down. She hadn’t yet manage
d it when she heard footsteps coming her way. She could sense Mark behind her and realized that one way or another she had to face him. She turned around hesitantly.

  He was standing in the doorway as if unsure of his welcome, and his eyes searched her face apprehensively. He had changed into slacks and a black sweater that made his eyes shine even brighter than normal. He must have showered too because his hair was still glistening in short wet curls over his forehead. He looked amazing, making her even more nervous - if that was possible.

  “Hello, Ashley,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. He cleared his throat and said more clearly, “Your Mom said I should bring these in to you.”

  Ashley was amazed at the odd inflections of hope and apology in his deep voice. She relaxed, realizing that he was just as uncomfortable as she was, but that he was braving it out.

  “Matches, huh?” She took the little box from him. “You must rate high with my mom if she’s actually going to light the candles.”

  “I think that it has more to do with the fact that you’re home. I’ve eaten here pretty often and she’s never lit them before.”

  “She’s probably trying to create a romantic atmosphere,” she replied dryly, then immediately wanted to hit herself for saying that.

  Mark leaned against the door frame, an amused smile twisting his lips. “That’s fine with me.” he said. He stood watching her quietly, which unnerved her.

  Her fingers became clumsy and she fumbled with a lit match trying unsuccessfully to light a candle. The flame burned all the way down the match until it burned her fingers. “Ouch!” She waved it out and dropped the burned remains of the match on the white table cloth. “Darn it!” She put her singed finger in her mouth trying to dull the pain.

  Ignoring the soft chuckle coming from the doorway, she lit another match and attempted to actually light a candle with it. The wick was sealed flat to the top of the candle however, and by the time she pried it up with her fingernail, the flame had moved most of the way down the match stick, which was now a curl of charcoal like the previous one. She was able to blow it out before her fingers got burned again, however.

  Mark had been watching in silent amusement. “Can I help?” He took the matchbox she held out to him and soon had the candles lit. “What’s the point of lighting candles if you leave the lights on?”

  Before she knew what he intended to do, Mark flipped the light switch, plunging the room into total darkness except for the fragile glow of light around the table. Suddenly they seemed separated from the rest of the world, and the isolation of the tiny circle of light was surprisingly intimate.

  “Are you doing all right, Ashley?”

  She had a hard time meeting his eyes, looking down at the flickering candles instead. “What do you mean?”

  “You know, after what happened earlier.”

  “I’m ok.” Even to her own ears, she sounded unconvincing. “How about you?”

  “I’m fine, except, I didn’t want you to think that I didn’t kiss you because…” Mark paused and lifted her chin gently till she was compelled to meet his eyes. His voice was a little rough as he continued, “…because I didn’t want to.”

  “Then why didn’t you?” The question came unbidden to her lips.

  “I didn’t want our first kiss to be so public.”

  Ashley’s eyes were fixed on his face. The contrast of the soft candlelight and deep shadows emphasized his masculine features, but she could still see the tenderness in his eyes. Her mouth curled into a soft, tremulous smile before she was aware of it. “We’re alone now,” she observed.

  “I noticed that,” he said, his dimples hinting at a smile that never fully emerged. His expression became solemn and intent as he leaned slowly towards her. When his lips were a breath away from hers, the light snapped on again, blinding both of them.

  “I hate to break things up in here, Mark,” Shawn said, “but since the whole family is about to come in for dinner, I thought I’d better let you know before you embarrassed Ashley again.”

  “Before I embarrass her?” Mark asked, clearly perturbed at her brother again. She wondered if Shawn would survive the night.

  Shawn grinned and sauntered over to sit at the table. Their dad came in carrying a platter with the carved chicken on it and the others weren’t far behind him, each carrying a serving dish.

  Ashley tried to look busy as she gathered up all the burned matches, trying not to smudge the tablecloth. She went to throw them away, and when she came back, the only empty chair was next to Mark.

  He looked at her expectantly as she hesitated in the doorway. In fact, she realized that everyone else was watching too since her mom and the kids were standing around the table waiting for the blessing on the food. She sat down quickly so they could look at something else.

  After her dad said the blessing, and people began passing the food around, Ashley relaxed as she felt the attention shift away from her and Mark. Throughout dinner, she was conscious of the warmth of his arm next to her because his broad shoulders left little room between them. She found it hard to concentrate on eating, but she could tell she wasn’t affecting Mark the same way.

  When dinner was over and the brownies devoured, everyone helped to clear off the table and wash the dishes. When it was all done, Kayla and Justin took their tired but protesting children home. Andrew was already asleep and Becca was not far from it. They had just left, when Mark said, “Well, I suppose I should be going home too.”

  There was an immediate chorus of refusals. “You don’t have to go home on our account,” Ashley heard her mom say, “Charles and I are tired, but you three can stay up as long as you like without bothering us.”

  “Well, if you’re sure you don’t mind, I think I will.” He looked at Ashley and she nodded at him to let him know she wanted him to stay.

  “Let’s watch a movie or something. It’s not that late,” Shawn said as they went into the living room.

  “That’s fine by me. How about you, Ashley?” Mark asked.

  “Sure. What do you want to watch?”

  They eventually agreed on A Christmas Story and Shawn found the DVD. He put it on and went to sit in the recliner with the remote. Meanwhile, Mark went over to stir up the coals of the fire and put a few more logs on it. Ashley settled into one corner of the couch, put her feet up comfortably on the ottoman, and pulled a throw blanket over her.

  Mark stood back to look at the flames that were now dancing in the fireplace and said, “That’s better.” Then he sat down in the middle of the couch as close to Ashley as he could without actually touching her. He leaned back and put his long legs up next to Ashley’s. A few minutes later, Ashley’s parents turned out the lights in the kitchen and dining room and went to bed. The only light left in the living room came from the fire, the television, and the Christmas tree.

  The movie didn’t hold her interest, though Mark and Shawn seemed to be finding it funny. With a full stomach, a warm blanket, and a dark room, Ashley found it hard to stay awake. She struggled to keep her eyes open, but they were getting heavier and heavier. Even the novel experience of sitting so close to Mark in a dark room couldn’t keep her awake. It just added to the contentment rising inside her. At some point, she drowsily became aware that she’d lost the battle to stay awake, but she was so warm and comfortable that she surrendered happily.

  “Ashley, wake up.”

  Ashley was truly annoyed at whoever was shaking her shoulder. Why wouldn’t they leave her alone? “Ashley, you have to wake up.” Then the deep voice spoke so close to her ear that it tickled her into alertness. “Sorry, but as much as I’d like to, I can’t stay here all night,” he said.

  She sat up and looked through blurry eyes at her tormentor. It was Mark, keeping his voice low in the quiet house.

  She remembered where she was and realized that she had been leaning against him in her sleep, practically snuggling into his chest. He still had his arm around her, and when she looked around, she saw
that they were alone in the living room. With the television turned off and the fire reduced to coals once again, the dim room was lit only by the lights on the tree.

  “Where’d Shawn go?” she asked drowsily.

  “He just left, after wishing me luck getting you to wake up. It wasn’t easy. I hated to wake you up because you must be really tired to sleep that hard, but I didn’t know how to get up any other way.”

  Even half asleep, she blushed at how she must have been cuddled up to him to prevent him moving her easily. “I’m pretty sleep deprived from school I guess,” she said with clumsy articulation. “Sorry I wasn’t very good company. And sorry that I, uh, fell asleep on you.”

  “I’m not complaining. I just don’t think your parents would have appreciated finding us asleep together on their couch in the morning.”

  “No, they wouldn’t,” she agreed, the thought of it sending her pulse racing. She brushed her hair back from her face and automatically combed the tangles out of it with her fingers. She saw that Mark was grinning at her and asked, “What’s so funny?”

  “You are, sleepyhead.” He got up and pulled her to her feet beside him. “You know, you’re cute when your hair is all messy.”

  “Thanks a lot.”

  “Relax. Your hair looks fine.” He took a strand that had fallen in her face again and ran it gently between his fingers before pushing it behind her ear. “In fact it’s beautiful.”

  Ashley’s sleepy brain was incapable of finding a reply to this, so she stood silently and looked up at his face, which was dark with shadows and only inches from her own. She realized that he was going to kiss her, but memories flashed through her mind of another evening and another guy. She’d fallen too quickly for Derek and his easy kisses last summer. She didn’t want to make the same mistake again. She had a feeling that if she let her emotions take over before she knew how Mark felt about her, she’d been in danger of truly getting her heart broken.

  As she drew back from him, Mark stepped away, looking awkward and a little confused. “You weren’t ready for that, were you?”