Safety in the Friendzone

by Elizabeth Stevens

  I was still watching him when he looked up and found me almost automatically, like he knew I’d been staring. But he didn’t smirk at me like he’d caught me out, he just gave me a cheeky smile like we were in on some secret together, like it was just us against the rest of the world.

  “Peekers are cheaters!” I called to him, pretending to cover the rack with my arm like that would stop him seeing it.

  “Says you! You were looking first. And I can’t pick out the most amazing outfit – guaranteed to slay – if you’re peeking.”

  “Your performance anxiety flaring up?”

  “I’m a very private person,” he cried loudly and dramatically, making his voice break halfway through the sentence.

  A few people turned to look at him with varying degrees of concern and surprise. I dissolved into laughter and paid closer attention to my rack to get some control over myself.

  “Okay, I think I’m done,” Zane called after a while.

  I pulled one more thing off the rack and smiled at him. “Me, too.”

  “Let’s do this, then,” he challenged.

  We swapped piles of clothes and headed for the change rooms.

  I looked through the things he’d picked up for me. Like the pile I’d given him, it was awful. Every item of clothing would be better suited to a costume shop, and none of it looked like it would go together. The colours all clashed and the styles were all wrong. Some things were casual, some were more formal, and there was a pair of PJ pants.

  Completely not in the spirit of the game, I picked the least objectionable dress I could find and changed into it. We thankfully hadn’t got to the footwear section yet, so I wandered out barefoot to wait for him, having a look at the clothes near the door.

  “What do you think?”

  Zane walked out of the changing room and I bit my cheek – hard – to stop myself laughing out loud. He was wearing the vomit brown, orange, yellow and red plaid pants, the green turtleneck, the red pleather jacket, and topped it off with the sequined purple, green and yellow fedora.

  “Don’t you look a hundred times better than usual!” I said cheerily.

  “I look like a Salvos threw up on me in its Carnivale hangover,” Zane replied. His voice was attempting indignant, but the smile on his face was wide and showed how little he cared what he looked like to the passing public.

  “Give us a twirl, then,” I said, making a little circle with my finger.

  He did as instructed, then looked at me properly. “That suits you wonderfully.”

  I nodded. “Oh, yes. It’s not at all three sizes too big and makes me look like a five-year-old playing dress up.”

  “But you were such a cute five-year-old when you played dress up!” he cooed.

  I smirked. “Next.”

  We paraded a few more outfits for each other, laughing uncontrollably at each other. One time, I had barely walked out the doors when he packed out laughing, so I just turned and went back in. By the time I’d come out again, he was somewhat more composed.

  I looked at myself in the mirror and thought that it honestly could be worse. I could still be wearing the jumper than made me look like a grapefruit.

  “Okay. Okay,” Zane sniggered, jogging over to me, holding aloft a jacket on a hanger like it was some sort of trophy. He held it up over my torso, standing behind me, his other hand going to my waist. “How about this then?”

  His hand was warm and steady on me. His body encircling mine was comforting and the most natural thing in the world. His head was next to mine, our reflections grinning at each other in the mirror. His eyes were warm and carefree, every bit my best friend and no sign of the absolute jerk he could be these days.

  A part of me was desperate to put some distance between us. But it was quieter than usual. A larger part of me revelled in spending time with the Zane of old, with my Zane. It was that part that relaxed in his arms, feeling at ease and laughing with him.

  “It looks like something our mums wore in the 80s!” I chuckled.

  Zane leant his head to mine, then took the hat off his head and put it on mine. “Are you refusing to accept my excellent help?”

  I snickered as I took the hanger from him. “No. I wouldn’t dare.”

  “Good.” He waggled his eyebrows and indicated I get back to the changing rooms.

  Chapter 8: Zane

  “Enjoy your little date?” Bleeker asked me on Monday.

  I looked up at him. “What?”

  “Your date on Saturday. The one you missed dinner for.”

  My heart thudded. “Oh…” I chuckled. “Nah. It was just…something I had to do for Mum.”

  Bleeker frowned at me and I didn’t blame him. I wanted to feel more guilty than I did. A good friend would feel more guilty. I’d only pulled out of dinner with the guys last minute because I’d been having a good time with Charley on Saturday. I’d had such a great time – it had been like the good old days – that I couldn’t bring myself to feel guilty about dinner because I refused to regret my life choices.

  “Like what?”

  I searched my head for a decent excuse. Why not tell him the truth? Because, frankly, I didn’t want to. I didn’t need him on my case because I’d ditched him for Charley. He knew Charley and I had a history. But, in his head, she was just the Queen of the Dweebs now and we let her talk back to us because it was amusing. He didn’t know we spent so much time together outside school. He didn’t know she was the first one I told anything to. He didn’t know I still thought of her, hand’s down, as my best friend. And I wanted to keep it that way.

  “Charley!” I heard from the other side of the room.

  My eyes sprung up and were instantly looking for her. I didn’t hear anything Bleeker or Jory said, I was focussed on Charley. Penny was heading over to her, weaving her way through the tables as she obviously said something exciting. I didn’t pay that much close attention to Penny, but I watched Charley. She beamed widely – it was her hopeful but questioning look that she gave every time she thought there was going to be good news, but she was waiting to check. Penny nodded and Charley threw her arms up in the air.

  Charley in pure happiness was a rare thing these days. There was always a hint of hesitation about her when she was happy, like she couldn’t let herself just be happy. It was one of the only things I didn’t try to talk to her about anymore. I’d tried once, but it had been met with a week long silence on her end. It was the longest time we’d ever gone without talking and had been the literal longest week of my life.

  I watched her happily, loving the way her face lit up when she smiled. There was always a hint of mischief that came with it, like she was incapable of being sweet even on the inside, like she always knew more than you about a situation. Her carefully crafted exterior wasn’t all that intentionally crafted after all. It was just her. She wasn’t evil or anything, she was just stupidly smart but barely anyone knew because she never made a thing of it.

  Her eyes were bright and animated as she talked with Penny and Jett. There was even an impromptu bouncing of her shoulders like she was dancing along about something. Jett grinned and nodded, and Penny clapped her hands. Charley shook her head, a rueful smirk at her lips that made me smile.

  As I lifted my bottle to my lips, something hit it and I splashed Solo all over myself.

  I turned to Bleeker with an expectant glare. “What was that for?” I asked.

  “You weren’t paying attention.”

  “I was paying attention.”

  “You were not.”

  “Well, I am now. What?”

  “I was trying to talk to you about the party.”

  “How long is this going to take?” I asked, not sure where I was going with this.

  “What? You have somewhere to be?”

  I pointed at Charley. “I need to ask a girl about a ride.”

  Jory sniggered. “If only.”

  I aimed my finger at him more t
hreateningly. “No one asks Charley about a ride,” I warned him.

  “Can’t you text her? It’s Lunch,” Bleeker whined.

  I shrugged. “She’s right there.”

  Bleeker sighed dramatically. “Fine.”

  I grinned. “Sweet. Back soon.”

  I hopped up and people parted to let me through the Common Room easily. It was damn good being me.

  As soon as she saw me heading over to her, Charley lost all of her happiness and looked at me. “What do you want?”

  “I want to know if you want a ride home,” I said to her as I situated myself in their little group.

  “Deigning to speak to us in public,” Jett commented dryly. “Bold move, Lindon.”

  “I’m so untouchable even talking to you dweebuses makes no difference to my greatness,” I told him with a grin.

  “What a charmed life you lead.”

  “You could easily lead it as well,” I reminded him.

  Captain of the rugby team? Easy. Not that rugby had such royal status as football, but the team were unbeaten something like five years in a row so, if he’d wanted to have pull, he’d have it in spades. But nothing. He never cashed it in. Not once.

  “Some us don’t care about status.”

  “That is painfully obvious,” I laughed as I looked at Penny as example.

  She blushed and looked down at her feet.

  “Leave her alone,” Charley said.

  “I’m just stating facts, Char. Two of you could be Pops. One of you…” Here I looked at Penny again pointedly, “could never be.”

  Charley crossed her arms and glared at me. “You’re the one who came over here, Zane. You don’t want to be civil, you can go back to your dick friends.”

  “Oh, that’s not fair, Charley. Harvey’s not that bad.”

  She rolled her eyes. “I’m serious. You do not get to come over here and be rude to my friends.”

  I sighed and rolled my own eyes. “Fine. My bad.”

  “Was there a reason you came over here with your charming insults?” she asked.

  I shrugged. “Not really.”

  “Not really? Well, why don’t you go back whence you came?”

  “I think you’ll find it’s ‘from whence’.”

  “I think you’ll find it’s not,” Jett said, eyeing me off.

  Truth be told, the guy had always intimidated me. Like Charley, he was totally comfortable in who he was. He’d been a small-ish guy until puberty hit then he’d shot up. Joining the rugby team had him bulking up. Even my ego felt a little small in comparison to him, let alone the fact I was barely taller than Charley and she well known for being short.

  “I’ll take your word for it.”

  “Mrs Finch went through it in great detail in English last year,” Charley said.

  I held up my hands. “Okay. Chill out. My bad for not remembering every dull thing that comes out of her mouth.”

  Charley frowned heavily. “I think it’s time you went back to your friends.”

  “What?” I laughed. “Why?”

  “Because we don’t want you here and I doubt you actually want to be here.”

  “I want to be here.”

  “Why?” Penny asked. It was one of the first times she had actually ever said anything to me in public. Or private for that matter.

  “Because, Be…” I stopped myself just in time, but Charley knew what I’d been about to say. “Penny… I thought it would be fun to hang out with you guys for a bit.”

  “You on some misguided charity mission?” Charley asked.

  “No. Just thought I’d see how the natives do for a while.”

  “We’re not natives.”

  “What were you talking about before I came over.”

  Charley rolled her eyes, but she indulged me the way she always did. “Penny got a job.”

  I blinked. In the middle of Year Twelve? That seemed like a rookie mistake. “Why would she want to do that.”

  “Because not everyone has parents who’ll pay for everything for them, dude.”

  That seemed mean. “Why not?”

  “Because they can’t afford it.”

  Oh. Well, I guessed that sucked. And was no fault of anyone’s. I assumed. “Ah. Well, congrats?”

  “No need to sound so unsure,” Charley scoffed. “Why don’t you go and talk hook-ups with your mates or whatever passes for conversation over there?”

  “Because I want to know what passes for conversation over here.”

  “Did you break him?” Jett asked her and I bit back my acerbic retort.

  “Must have. Just ignore him and he might go away.”

  “He won’t,” I assured them.

  Charley just shrugged and they went back to whatever counted as usual conversation for them. I was regretting wanting to know what they talked about well before the timbre of the conversation sounded less stilted and more normal. It was all books and obscure TV shows.

  “So, they’re making a new ‘Lord of the Rings’ show,” Penny said quietly, watching me carefully.

  Ugh. Snore. Who cared about hobos and dwarves or whatever? But I was a good boy and kept my mouth shut.

  “Really?” Jett asked.

  Penny nodded. “It’s not the story of the ring. I don’t think they’re allowed to crossover with any of the movies, but it’s in the second age.”

  “Cool,” Charley said. “You know when it’s out?”

  “Not yet. Talk is 2020.”

  “You know what’s not coming back?”

  “Ugh. Yes. I’m shattered. I’m going to have to buy the novels now and see what happens…”

  I lost track of who was saying what as I tried not to fall asleep from sheer and utter boredom and their boringness, until Jett asked, “Did you watch ‘Deadly Class’, Lindon?” and I started paying more attention.

  Charley huffed a laugh. “Of course, he didn’t.”

  “How do you know?” I asked indignantly.

  “Because you would have called me and told me how awesome you thought it was.”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about, but it doesn’t sound like something I’d like.”

  “It’s based on a graphic novel–”

  “Pass!” I said.

  “See?” Charley asked the others. “He’s a little wimp who’s too afraid to try new things.”

  I wouldn’t stand for that. “I am not!”

  “You are. You probably only watched Umbrella Academy because everyone was talking about it online.”

  Well, that was fair. But it had been awesome. “Of course, I didn’t. I watched it because I liked it.”

  Charley shared an eyeroll with Penny and Jett. “And yet you refuse to watch ‘Deadly Class’.”

  “It’s based on a comic!”

  “So is ‘Umbrella Academy’.”

  “Really?”

  She nodded. “And what about all the superhero movies you like watching?”

  “Well…” I shifted. “That’s different.”

  “How?”

  “Because everyone knows them.”

  “So, they’re only good because they’re more famous?”

  I nodded. “That’s usually how these things go, Charley.”

  “And that is why your life is so narrow, Zane,” she replied.

  I rolled my eyes at her. “You think it’s so awesome? Fine. Show it to me.”

  She crossed her arms again. “And have you complain the whole way through and ruin it for me forever? No.”

  “What if I promise not to say a word?”

  “That would be physically impossible for you.”

  “And yet I’d do it for you.”

  “Don’t act all sweet just because people are watching. Penny and Jett aren’t going to fall for that.”

  I sighed. “Fine. I’ll watch it by myself then.”

  The bell for class went. Everyone around us started mo
ving, including Penny and Jett. But we didn’t. Charley and I looked at each other like we had something to prove. I just didn’t know what it was or who we were trying to prove it to.

  Finally, as Penny tried to get her to follow them, Charley said, “Fine. I’ll watch it with you. But one even hint of complaint and I’m leaving.”

  “And if we’re at your house?” I teased.

  She pointed at me as she started to leave. “I’m serious, Zane.”

  “Okay. Okay. Scout’s honour!” I laughed.

  I just saw her smile before she left.

  Chapter 9: Charley

  “Braaaaains!”

  I looked around to see where the muffled noise had come from and found Zane at my window. Again. Making farting noises on it with his mouth. I wasn’t sure if I was more worried about the germs he was getting from the window, or the streak marks he was putting on the window.

  I rolled my eyes as I went over to pull it open for him.

  “Did you say brains?” I asked as he climbed in.

  He nodded. “I’m starved.”

  “Well, you’re out of luck. There is a significant lack in here.”

  Zane snorted. “Right, shall we see what else is on offer?”

  I followed him as he left my room and made for the kitchen. “Your mum on another of her health kicks?” I asked.

  Zane’s mum had been on every health kick known to man. She’d clear out their whole house of everything except the allowed food, and stick to the regime rigidly…for about three weeks. Then, she’d be too tired or rundown or busy for anything but takeaway one night, and that would be the end of the diet until the next one came along.

  “Yep. There is nothing but vegetables and fruit in the house. Literally. I couldn’t even find a lost packet of pasta in the back of the pantry this time. There wasn’t even a lonesome tin of tuna.”

  “Did you check the freezer?”

  “I ate the last reserves of lost frozen goods yesterday.”

  “Damn, that sucks.”