Impulsive Saint (All Saints Security Series Book 2)

by Jess Bryant

  “Ash?”

  “Sorry, yeah.” She shook away the shot of desire that had nearly overtaken her. “I’m done. It’s all yours.”

  He scooted out of the way as she grabbed her things and all but fled the bathroom. She didn’t miss that he pressed himself against the wall to make sure no part of them touched as she passed. She bit the inside of her cheek and reminded herself that the more distance he put between them now the easier the distance would be when he was gone for good from her life.

  Tyler went into the bathroom and shut the door behind him. She dug through her things until she found the simple boxer shorts and tank top that she’d been using as pajamas and changed from her jeans and tank top into them as quickly as possible. She repacked her bag, plugged the small phone into a charger and then climbed into bed, flipping the small lamp beside her off as she did. She was just rolling onto her side when Tyler came back out of the bathroom.

  Her breath caught and she squeezed her eyes shut almost painfully tight. The room was dim, with only the lamp on the other side of the bed giving off light. Still, she’d seen enough to know that her dreams were going to be sweaty again tonight.

  Tyler was only wearing his boxers. She knew that’s what he slept in. They’d spent every night of the trip together in the small confines of crappy motel rooms, most of them with only one bed, just like this one. She’d even seen him naked the night before when they’d been intimate but somehow, seeing him like this was worse. Maybe because now she knew what those hard muscles and big hands felt like on her body, just like she knew she’d never experience the pleasure he’d brought her ever again.

  She kept her eyes squeezed shut until she felt his weight shift the mattress on the other side of the bed. The lamp went off and she could hear the rustle of linens as he slid between the sheets. She bit her lip and bunched her hands into fists beneath her pillow to keep from reaching for him. He didn’t even come close enough to her that she could feel his warmth and her heart ached with a loss she hadn’t expected. He had always stayed firmly on his side of the bed, the side closest to the door which he’d explained their first night together was to protect her in case someone broke in because they’d have to go through him first. She shouldn’t have been surprised when he left the giant gaping space between them now and maybe she wasn’t. Not surprised, but still just a little sad.

  Ashtyn curled into a ball, trying to make herself smaller. Tyler didn’t move. She couldn’t even hear him breathing in the darkness. Still, there was a strange energy in the room, between them, and she couldn’t convince her brain to shut off and go to sleep.

  She had no idea how long they lay there in the darkness, pretending to sleep. It was long enough that when Tyler said her name, she actually jumped in surprise. She gasped and it took a second to steady herself before she could reply.

  “Ashtyn?”

  “Yeah?”

  “You awake?”

  She smirked at the wall, “Nope. Sleep-talking is one of my many talents.”

  “Smartass.” he grumbled and she giggled a little.

  “I’m awake.” She confirmed.

  Tyler was silent for so long she started to wonder if he was the one sleep talking and then he surprised her again when he sighed, “I can’t sleep. I have something I need to say and I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep until I do.”

  “Um… okay?”

  Tyler made no move on his side of the bed so she stayed exactly where she was. She didn’t know what was coming but everything inside of her curled tighter with anticipation. She was very nearly holding her breath when he finally spoke again.

  “It’s just that… I need to say… well, I’m sorry.”

  She narrowed her eyes in the darkness, even though she wasn’t facing him, “For what?”

  His voice was soft, “Last night.”

  She couldn’t contain the groan of annoyance, “Yeah, I know. You’ve made it perfectly clear that you regret what we did last night, Tyler.”

  “No.” He shifted in the bed and she felt a big hand on her shoulder, “No, not that.”

  Ashtyn allowed him to pull at her just enough that she rolled to her back. He was leaning up on one elbow so he was above her. There was still space between them and she had to turn her head to look at him directly but in the dark of the room she could just barely make out the look of frustration on his handsome face.

  “I’m not sorry that we slept together.” His eyes were unreadable in the darkness but she tried to search them anyway. “I’m sorry that I made you think I was. I’d say that wasn’t my intention but, it was exactly what I wanted you to think at the time. I was trying to push you away.”

  Ashtyn blinked in confusion, “And now?”

  “Now…” he sighed heavily and she felt one of his big hands cup her cheek lightly before brushing her hair off her face, “I can’t seem to live with myself if I don’t tell you the truth.”

  “The truth?” Ashtyn found herself repeating, unable to process what was happening when he was touching her, even so gently and cautiously.

  “I don’t regret sleeping with you, Ashtyn. I think… well, I think maybe I thought I should and that’s why I reacted so badly. It’s just that, I thought I was taking you on this trip to protect you. I knew you’d go with or without me and I was the safer choice. I could take care of you, make sure you were safe.”

  “Tyler…” She shook her head but he hushed her softly.

  “Shh, I’m not done.” He shifted again, coming a little closer, “I wanted to protect you because I saw you just like everyone else in your life did. You said they all treated you like you were a precious little bird and so long as they kept you in a cage that you’d be safe. When you left that church you were breaking out of your cage but all I saw was the little bird that had been kept in a bubble all its life and had no idea how the real world worked. I thought you needed me to help you find your way, to watch over you and make sure you didn’t fall but I realized today, you’re not a bird, Ashtyn. You’re a woman, a grown woman and you are smart and strong and beautiful and you have every right to make your own decisions and choices. I had no right to try and keep that from you.”

  Ashtyn swallowed hard, her throat drying up as Tyler spoke so softly, so reverently. He wasn’t a big talker. She might not have known him long but she knew that much. He said what had to be said and he did it with as little fuss as possible. This, well, she never could have expected this from him.

  He rubbed his thumb across her jaw, “Last night, you chose me. For whatever reason, you chose me. Maybe it’s just because I was there, because I was convenient, but you chose me to share your bed, to share your body, and I had no right to make you feel guilty for that, not when we are both consenting adults and I wanted it just as much as you did. I shouldn’t have felt guilty for wanting you, Ashtyn. I should have just let myself feel lucky that you wanted me in return.”

  Ashtyn stared up at him, waiting, though for what she couldn’t say. More words? For him to close the space between them and kiss her again? She couldn’t think of anything to say and when the silence stretched between them and she felt Tyler lean closer, she thought that she might not have to say anything at all.

  Instead, he pressed a chaste kiss to her forehead and pulled away, “That’s all I wanted to say. I just, wanted you to know. I’m sorry for how I acted. Goodnight, Ashtyn.”

  Panic flared through her when he started to roll back to his side of the bed. She grabbed for him. Her hand caught his bicep and she squeezed so hard her nails probably dug into his skin but she couldn’t convince herself to loosen her grip. She was certain if she did that he’d slip through her fingers again.

  “Wait…”

  “What?” Tyler went stone still beside her.

  “You weren’t just convenient.” The words rushed out of her now as the fear of never bridging the gap between them threatened her very being. “You’re not convenient, Tyler. You’re not neat and tidy and you’re nothing like w
hat I thought I wanted in a partner, nothing like I expected, but I like you. I really like you and I know maybe it seems crazy or like the timing is all wrong but the truth is, the timing couldn’t be more right because every single time I’ve needed you since the moment I walked out of that church you’ve been there for me and I like that. I don’t want to lose that. I don’t want to lose you.”

  Tyler shifted just enough that she could see a hint of a smile when he looked down at her, “You like me, huh?”

  “Sometimes.” She smirked. “When you’re not trying to make me miserable or calling me a spoiled princess.”

  “I don’t want to make you miserable anymore.” he admitted quietly.

  “Then don’t.” She shifted closer to him, pressing her body against his.

  “But you’ll always be a princess to me, Ashtyn.” He cupped her face softly, “A beautiful, untouchable, perfect princess.”

  “I’m not perfect and I don’t want to be untouchable.” She reached up to cup his jaw, his stubble sliding deliciously across her palm. “When you were talking you said that you should have been happy that I wanted you in return. You kept saying wanted, past tense. But I still want you, Tyler.”

  “I still want you, too. Past, present, future, I want you for all of them, Ashtyn.”

  “I don’t want to think about the past and I have no idea what the future holds, but here, right now, in the present…” She met his eyes, “I’m yours.”

  Tyler groaned and a moment later his mouth was on hers. She whimpered at the desperation in the kiss. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her across the small space that remained between them, erasing all the distance he’d been keeping so carefully between them. He kissed her and she kissed him back just as desperately, certain that they’d both feared they’d never get another chance at this.

  It was then, in that moment, that Ashtyn realized she was falling in love with him. He’d said he only came with her on this trip to keep her from falling so it was ironic that he would be the reason she felt the ground shift out from beneath her feet. She was falling for him, had maybe been falling since the moment she saw him leaning against that motorcycle like her guardian angel come to rescue her and sweep her away from the life she hadn’t wanted.

  This was what she wanted. Tyler was what she wanted. She wanted passion and she wanted adventure and she never wanted their journey to end.

  Not tonight. Not tomorrow in Las Vegas. Not ever.

  18

  Tyler couldn’t seem to stop kissing her. He’d known that was going to be a problem the moment he’d first done it. For some stupid reason he’d convinced himself that he could push her away, keep her at a distance, and get through the last days of this trip without doing it again but he’d been a fool.

  She was too beautiful. Too smart and too kind and too genuine. The pure joy that radiated off her when she’d shown him her new tattoo had made the moment feel magical. Every moment with her felt that way and though he knew that it would end, that their journey together was almost over, he couldn’t stand the idea of wasting what precious little time they had left putting boundaries back up between them.

  Ashtyn nipped his bottom lip just the way he liked and he groaned as she shifted closer, pressing her body to his and forcing him to roll to his back. His eyes had adjusted to the darkness enough that he could make out the angles of her beautiful face, the cascade of shimmering blonde hair and the small smile that stretched at her lips as she crawled over him. He had never seen anything more incredible in his life and he made no move to stop her or try to take back control of this encounter.

  Last time, he’d been so crazy for her that he’d taken her hard and fast. It hadn’t been soft and it hadn’t been sweet. He hadn’t been able to hang on to the tattered pieces of his control long enough to tease, or play, or learn every inch of her body the way he wanted to. He hadn’t been coherent enough to take note of all the amazing little things that only made him fall for her a little more every second.

  She ran her nails down his chest and hummed, “Have I mentioned how much I love your tattoos?”

  “Possibly.” He smirked.

  “So sexy.” She leaned down and pressed a kiss to his collarbone, trailing her hot breath down to his pectoral, and he realized, tracing the outline of one of the tattoos as she did. “That first time I saw you in your suit and tie you looked completely polished but I knew, somehow I knew you had rough edges underneath. I love that I get to see those edges. Touch them. Soothe them.”

  He closed his eyes, not really paying attention to her words because he was too busy trying to think of cold water, baseball stats or the aftermath of a hot dog eating contest just to keep his dick from exploding. Her mouth was on his nipple now, licking and sucking, teasing him with her teeth, but the way she’d straddled him put her right on his lap and every time she moved, he could feel the sweet heat of her through their thin clothes, rubbing against his length.

  “I didn’t get a chance to really touch you last night.” she murmured as her tongue teased along a crease of muscle down his abdomen. “I want to touch you now. Everywhere. With my hands but also with my mouth.”

  His cock all but jumped, wanting her attention and his voice was strained when he managed to answer the question in her tone, “Touch me. Taste me. I’m yours, Ashtyn.”

  He felt her answering smile in the small kiss she planted just above his belly button. He couldn’t believe this was actually happening. It had been one thing for him to lose control and take her hard and fast. That had been wild, out of control, an easily explained moment of weakness. But this wasn’t fast and crazy. It was slow and deliberate, a tease designed to drive him out of his mind.

  He’d given himself up to Ashtyn Echols and he just knew she was going to make him pay for all the hell he’d put her through.

  Tyler gasped as her small hand encircled his cock and gave a squeeze. He groaned and he would have sworn he heard Ashtyn chuckle. He didn’t have time to question it though because she didn’t wait for his response, she didn’t even draw it out in an attempt to torture him, she simply lowered her mouth and blew a cool stream of air across the tip, using her thumb to spread the pre-come that had gathered there.

  “Ah fuck.”

  “Does that feel good?” Her voice was light and teasing.

  His hips shifted, causing her hand to move up and down his aching cock, “So good.”

  “More?”

  “More.” He slid a hand up into her hair which had curtained her beautiful face from him and glanced down to see her looking up at him from beneath her lashes, mouth poised just over him. “Everything.”

  Something he wasn’t trained to read twinkled in her eyes and then her gaze dropped just as her mouth did. It didn’t matter if he’d been able to read her thoughts. In that moment, he lost the ability to think anything outside of a basic need for more, deeper, and harder. His hips shifted up of their own accord again but he quickly forced them back down when he heard Ashtyn gag slightly and then pull back to suck on just the tip.

  He wanted to apologize but he couldn’t seem to find the words. He knew he was bigger than she was used to, which should have given him a sense of pride, but just like last night, it only worried him. He didn’t want to hurt her. He didn’t want her to experience a single ounce of pain or regret. So he held himself completely still as she tried again to take all of him, her mouth stretched wide around him as she began to bob up and down.

  “Shit. Fuck. Yeah, just like… fuuuuck.”

  She’d reduced him to nothing but four-letter words and he couldn’t think straight. Her lips circled his cock with the perfect suction. Her tongue fluttered up and down his length, probing at the sensitive spot beneath the head, licking his slit, and then sliding back down the throbbing vein that she found. She hummed and the sensation ran straight to his balls, causing them to seize up and his whole body to shudder with warning that his climax was close.

  He loved having her mouth on him. The
girl was a goddess. He’d never expected her to be like this. He’d thought she blew his mind last night with the dirty talk and the demand to be fucked but this was a whole other level. The pretty princess he’d thought so proper was giving him the best blow job of his life and all he could do was grunt and grab at her like a damn caveman.

  She was an angel, or the devil, and in that moment, he didn’t care which. She could save him or doom him for eternity. Either way, he couldn’t and wouldn’t regret the incredible connection that was forming between them.

  “Ashtyn.” he gasped her name as his cock jerked and he pulled at her hair, forcing her to rise up, her lips popping as she released him. “Please.”

  Her eyes twinkled and her lips were swollen and wet. He had never seen anything more beautiful. Then her brows knit together and a look he hated crossed her gorgeous face. Doubt.

  “Did I… hurt you or… do something wrong?”

  “No.” He pulled at her again, urging her up, pulling her over him until he could cup her cheeks, “You’re so damn perfect but you’re going to make me blow and I want to be inside you when that happens.”

  “Oh…” Her cheeks flamed the prettiest shade of pink but her grin was downright filthy, “I thought you were inside me, inside my mouth at least.”

  A sound far too much like a growl escaped his chest and she giggled as he leaned up and kissed her. Her smile against his lips had him smiling in return and he realized that he couldn’t actually remember a time he’d ever been so comfortable and happy while he was in bed with a woman. Sure he’d been happy to be getting off all those times before but this was different, Ashtyn was different.

  He kissed her long and deep, sucking the taste of himself off her tongue. It was erotic and the way she rocked herself against him was nearly his undoing. Finally he forced himself to break the kiss and he stared up into her twinkling blue eyes as he spoke.

  “Ride me.”

  She blinked at him as if she’d heard him wrong, “What?”