Black Rainbow

by J. J. McAvoy

“There is no guy.”

  “Then why are you shipping me off?!” she demanded.

  “Because you’re drowning here Selene!” I yelled getting up. “It was wrong of me to allow you to come here. It was wrong, and selfish, and I’m so sorry. You can’t stay, because if you do, you will destroy yourself. This house, this city, it’s blackening your rainbow. You don’t laugh, you shake at night. You can’t stand to be here, and that’s okay. So go home Selene.”

  She glared at me through her tears, and it reminded me of when I came back to get her the first time.

  “We don’t leave each other,” she said.

  “I’m not leaving you Selene. I’m going to finish law school, I’m going to get dad out, and then, I’m coming home. I promise I’ll work my ass off, but I can only do that if I know that you’re okay, and you were okay back home.”

  Her lips shook, and she broke down as she crawled into my arms.

  “I’m so sorry,” she cried. “I thought— I thought I could do it—”

  “You are the most beautiful, funny, creative, intelligent little sister a girl could have. You mean the world to me, and so much more. You shouldn’t be sorry for anything. I’m sorry for not doing this sooner,” I whispered to her.

  Starting tomorrow, everything was going to change. I’d always been at the top of my class, I’d always worked for everything I ever wanted. And now, I was going to work ten times harder. I was going to do whatever it took, because I couldn’t afford to lose. I couldn't afford to get sidetracked anymore.

  “You going to cross over to the dark side, aren’t you?” she half joked, and I wished I could tell her I wasn’t. “You aren’t like her, you know. I’m sorry for what I said before.”

  “Selene it’s fine. Just go pack, alright?”

  She nodded and I headed into our mother’s office. It was the only place I hadn’t dared to touch, or even enter. It was like her shrine, and going in made me feel uneasy, but I needed to stop holding back.

  Levi had said I should use anything I could to my advantage. My mother was an advantage. I hated using her to get ahead, it made me feel dirty, but I know that that was how I got my scholarship in the first place. When I went in for my interview the dean spent the first five minutes talking about how great my mother was, and how she was one of the building blocks on which Harvard was built.

  My mother had a folder for every person who owed her favor, she was just that type of woman; everything came at a price. Now that she was dead, I guessed that everything, just like this house, had passed on to me.

  So I was going to call in a favor.

  In the back of my mind, I heard the small voice telling me not to do it. Getting any more involved with my mother would be like opening Pandora’s Box, but I made the call anyway.

  “Hi, my name is Thea Cunning, daughter of Margaret Cunning…”

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  LEVI

  BEEP.

  BEEP.

  BEEP.

  I smacked my alarm with the flat of my hand, but no matter how many times I crushed the snooze button, it wouldn’t shut off.

  “I think it’s your phone,” someone said.

  Peeking through only one of my eyes, I saw…

  Shit, what was her name again?

  “Your phone.” She pointed.

  Nodding, I sat up, reaching for my phone. “Black.”

  “Ah, hi. I know this is weird, and you don’t know me—”

  “You have five seconds before I hang up.”

  “I’m Selene… Thea’s sister?”

  I froze for a moment before sitting up. I wasn’t sure what to say or think, and the woman who was currently picking her clothes up off of my bedroom floor was not helping the situation.

  “Hello?”

  “I’m here. How did you get this number?”

  “You were the only number in her phone I didn’t know, so I figured you’re the guy she’s been seeing?”

  “We aren’t—you really shouldn’t have called me.”

  “Look can we meet for like five minutes? Please? It’s important. I know you don’t know me, and you have no reason to trust me, but I just wanted to talk to you about my sister. You’re the first guy to last this long, so I think you care about her. If I’m wrong you can hang up—”

  “Fine. Where do you want to meet?”

  This family was going to be the death of me.

  “Downtown. Do you know where Mico's Coffee shop is?”

  “Yeah. I’ll be there in thirty minutes.”

  “Thanks,” she said before hanging up.

  “Is that your girlfriend?” The brunette... Sharpay?… Sharpay London, asked.

  It slowly started to come back to me.

  “No,” I said as I got out of bed.

  I was surprised to find that I was still fully dressed in my clothes from the night before.

  “Just in case you forgot, we didn’t do it,” she stated, stepping into her heels.

  “We didn’t?”

  Why couldn’t I remember anything?

  “You told me that things were less complicated, then we laughed, we drank, and you invited me back here, where we drank some more. I practically threw myself at you, and everything was going great, until you suddenly stopped, pushed me away, and rejected me, right before you passed out,” she said with an edge in her voice. “Next time you bring a woman to your place, have the courtesy to do something about it, or else it’s just embarrassing.”

  She grabbed her purse and left without another word, leaving me sitting in bed, dazed and confused.

  God I’m a fucking mess, I thought, pulling off my shirt.

  I needed to get my life back together.

  Entering the small green and white coffee shop, I glanced around until I saw a girl, dressed in all black, with a beanie and headphones on, who resembled Thea.

  “Selene?” I waved my hand in front of her face.

  “Oh, hi,” she said, taking of her headphones. “Please, sit,” she said motioning to the chair in front of her. “Sorry, I got tired of watching the door like some love sick school girl. People were staring.”

  “How long have you been here?” I asked taking a seat.

  “About an hour.” She shrugged like it was nothing. “I was already here when I called you.”

  “Why did you call me?”

  “Can I get a name first? I just keep calling you blue and white stripes in my head.”

  “What?”

  She smiled, and it sort of looked like Thea’s. “The boxers you left at the house,” she said as if it were obvious. “They had blue and white stripes.”

  “This is certainly one way to start a conversation. I’m Levi Black. I’m guessing your sister hasn’t spoken much about me?”

  Not that I cared.

  “No. But don’t take it personally, it’s just who she is. She tricks people into thinking she is opening up about herself because she rants about the most random things, but she never really talks about herself,” she said, taking a sip of her coffee.

  “Selene, I’m a little confused as to why you called me.”

  “Because I’m leaving town,” she replied and I waited for her to go on. “She’s sending me back to Maryland to stay with our grandmother. She’s studying law because—”

  “Because of your father, I know.”

  Her eyes widened in surprise.

  “Yeah. I’m sorry for calling you out here, and I don’t even know if you’re really that close to her, but I just had to ask someone to look out for her a little, and you seem to be the only person she knows, or the only person she cares to know.”

  “Your sister is a big girl Selene, she doesn’t need someone—”

  “No, she does.” She dropped her head, gripping on to her coffee. “She’s one of those people that will give up everything for people without caring or noticing what happens to her.

  “When she caught me trying to sneak back into my room, she said that there was no one in her lif
e, and that she only cared about making sure dad and I were okay. She was sad. For the first time since I came here, she was sad.”

  I didn’t think that I was supposed to hearing any of this.

  “Maybe because you’re moving away—” I started.

  “You really don’t want to accept that it’s you, do you?”

  “She rejected me,” I said, calling over the waitress. “She rejected me not even twenty-four hours ago. I’m sorry if I’m a little skeptical of Thea’s feelings… if she has them at all.” I turned to meet the gaze of the waitress who looked decidedly unimpressed with her life. “Coffee, black, please,” I told the waitress, before turning back to Selene.

  “Fine, then let me make it clear.” She sat up. “We are black rainbows.”

  “That’s not clear at all.”

  “When we were younger, our grandmother used to say that everyone was born with all the colors of the rainbow, and depending on the people around us, our colors either brightened or darkened. Thea and I are black rainbows… every once in a while we get brighter, but we always end up black again. People don’t stay around us long. Especially after they realize the life we’ve had, they slowly withdrew themselves from our lives because they feel uncomfortable or they don’t know what to say.”

  “Again, she pushed me away.”

  “Self-preservation. It’s how she works. But when she’s pushing you away, that just means she wants you to hold on tighter.”

  “That would make me a stalker.”

  She shook her head. “It’s different for us. The moment she starts to get happy, she finds a dozen reasons to run away, when, in all honesty, she’s just afraid of one thing; that if you really tried to get know her, the good, the bad and the awful, you’ll walk away. She likes you, and that probably scares the hell out of her.”

  “How do you know?”

  “Because I’m scared of all the same things.”

  I shook my head, as I accepted the coffee the waitress gave to me, and took a deep breath.

  “So what you’re saying is that I should keep chasing after her like a dog?”

  I couldn’t do it. My pride just wouldn’t let me do it.

  “What I’m saying is, if you can’t handle her, all of her, then walk away now and never contact her again. You’re just going to hurt her, and she’s all alone here, living in Margaret’s house, because we can’t afford to live anywhere else in the city. She walks around like nothing hurts her, but there’s only so much a person can take before they snap.”

  “You said she was happy? How do you know?”

  “She hummed. She danced to 80s music, and stole my guitar... all in the same week. She’s never been as happy as she was that last week of summer, and she was doing well, until I saw her face last night. I couldn’t just leave without seeing you first.”

  “And now that you’ve met me?”

  “I’ll save my judgments for a later date, so be sure to stick around for that,” she said, smiling.

  “What am I supposed to do?”

  “Be there long enough, and she’ll come to you. Until then, just watch out for her, okay? I can’t be there for her, so if you can… if you want…”

  She shrugged and struggled to find the words to say.

  I nodded. “I got it. You really watch out for her.”

  “We’re all the family we’ve got left… you should see the things she does for me.”

  She stood up, digging in her bag for change.

  “I got it.”

  “Thanks.” She smiled. “Oh and we never, ever, ever had this conversation. She would kill me—she’d kill us.”

  I nodded, and with that, she left.

  After spending a week with her, and watching her in class, Thea was an open book to me. She wore all her emotions on her face, and even when she was trying not to, I could still read her as plain as day. The problem was that she was a city surrounded by walls; you could see it from a distance, but there was no front gate and no way to get in.

  It was obvious that Selene had no idea that I was her sister’s professor, and I wondered what she would think of the situation then. I wasn’t just her sister’s lover, and I legitimately couldn’t stay away from her until the term ended.

  I need something stronger than coffee.

  THEA

  “Well look who decided to come back to class,” Atticus called from the classroom door. “And here I thought dethroning you was going to be hard. I was all prepared last class too.”

  Walking up to him, I smiled wide before I pulled out the notice. “Atticus Michael Logan, born March 27th, to Mary-Ann and Governor Jacob Logan of Greenville, South Carolina. You have two older sisters, and three younger brothers. You favorite team is the Dallas cowboys, and wait—”

  He grabbed at me, and pulled me from the doorway, and away from his buddies, but that didn’t stop me.

  “Now this can’t be right,” I said in my best southern accent, “but it says here, that you’re a registered republican and yet you’ve been donating to democrats. You must have broken your poor mama’s heart. Oh no, that can’t be right either, here you are, posing with your father, Governor Rick Perry and Senator Ted Cruz, aren’t they republicans? You’re a closet democrat, aren’t you? You put so much effort in hiding to help your father’s campaign. I hear he dreams of being the president one day. It would be a shame if your family found out, or worse yet, if other people found out that you’re just a fraud who’s trying to rattle people’s cages so that you can swoop in for the kill.”

  He snatched the papers from me, and sat back in his chair. His face was almost purple. He was positively seething with rage and he looked about ready to kill me.

  “What. Do. You. Want?” he sneered.

  “Aim your gun at someone else,” I snapped. “All he wants are twelve people, there are fifteen of us here. Help me bring them down. Once we do that, you’ve already secured yourself as one of the chosen twelve. What happens after, well, we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.”

  “And here I thought you were all about helping people, and doing the right thing,” he sucked his teeth.

  “But I am. I’m doing the right thing, for me.”

  “Fine. So tell me, how did you get your hands on this information?”

  One down, one to go.

  “I know a guy and he’s good with computers,” I said as we headed into one of our other classes. Levi—Professor Black’s–class, was to be our last class that day. The class we had now was a total snore. Our professor looked like he hadn’t practiced law since the Great Depression.

  He took a seat beside me, and leaned back into his chair. “So who else are you planning to bring into your little clubhouse?”

  I noticed that his accent didn’t stand out as much now.

  “What makes you think anyone else is invited?”

  “Oh?” he asked. “And I guess that I’m just that special?”

  “Don’t flatter yourself, you’ll find out when we get to Black’s class.”

  He shifted, looking me over again.

  “What?”

  “What happened to you? One moment you were all smiles and rainbows, and now, you’re like a black hole.”

  “Does that make it hard for you to work with me?”

  “No, I’m just wondering where I’d have to go to blacken my soul.”

  I didn’t reply.

  Kneeling, I helped her pick up all her books, whilst others just walked by.

  “Vivian Vega, right?” I asked her, knowing full well I was right. She was the one who loved my mother, and was basically a walking encyclopedia of cases.

  “What do you want?” she asked, as she pushed her glasses back up her nose, tilting her head to the side.

  “Nothing much, I just want you to stop trying to make a fool out me in class. Not only is it annoying to be constantly interrupted by you, but it’s borderline ridiculous. You aren’t going to upstage me with just facts. You and I are the only girls left, we sh
ould work together.”

  “It sounds like you’re scared,” she said, her eyes narrowing. “I’m fine on my own. With the way Professor Black keeps hounding you for missing class, I doubt you’ll make it to the end of the week, so on that note, I’m going to have to reject your fake sisterhood offer.”

  “Whatever you say Little Butterfly,” I called out to her as she tried to walk away.

  She stopped and slowly turned to look at me, her eyes were wide.

  “What did you call me?”

  “Little Butterfly. That’s your name, right?”

  She dragged me by the hand, pulling me into the girls’ bathroom. She checked under all the stalls before looking to me.

  “Where did you hear that name?”

  “You and I both know the answer to that.”

  For a fleeting moment, the look in her eyes made me feel a twinge of remorse, then I reminded myself of my purpose, and I knew that if the tables were turned, she would hang me out to dry. Despite her conservative appearance, she was a woman willing to do anything to get to the top.

  “So you’re blackmailing me now?”

  “No. I’m going to ask again for your support, and you will either decide to get rid of me quickly, because I know that you’ve been stripping your way through law school, or you’re going to realize that having me for an enemy serves to your disadvantage. I would never use something like that against you, and I respect the fact that you want this that badly. Be in my corner, and I will be in yours. Like I said, we’re the last women standing, and do you really think that those asshats are going to have your back if they ever find out? Believe me, you want to be on my team.”

  I had her by the balls, figuratively speaking, and there was nothing left for me to say. I headed back to the classroom, thrilled that my plan was going my way, so far.

  Vivian Vega was a first generation Puerto Rican. Her mother worked as a seamstress, and her father was a taxi driver. She was the first in her family to graduate from college, and get into law school… Harvard Law School at that. The only problem was, she couldn’t afford the cost of the institution, and financial aid only covered about half of her tuition. So with no viable alternative, she got a job working at strip club two hours away, just to make ends meet.