The Forever Girl

by Jill Shalvis

  “Hmm.” She sipped the coffee he’d bought her. “You do realize we were that level of annoying ourselves in Vegas.”

  He stared at her, surprised. It was damn hard to surprise him, but she’d never once brought up the subject of Vegas first. Stepping toward her, he trapped her up against the car, an arm on either side of her head, palms flat on the roof of the vehicle. Her breath caught, and as a result, so did his, but he ignored that and met her gaze. “Thought you didn’t remember a thing about that night.”

  “I remember you getting into our hotel room minibar.”

  “That was all you, babe. You said you had big plans for the chocolate.”

  She took a deep breath and her breasts brushed against his chest. He closed his eyes and dropped his forehead to her shoulder, almost weak in the knees at just being this close to her.

  “I’d never open a minibar,” she said. “Everything in it costs a million dollars. And I talk a big game when I’m drunk.”

  “Actually, you came through on every promise you made that night. Well, except one.”

  She pushed at him until he backed up and then strode angrily around the car and got in.

  Chapter 11

  Maze’s to-do list

  —Never ever have a big circus of a wedding.

  Maze’s emotions were still far too close to the surface when she and Walker and a commando Sammie got back to the house. It felt like a week had gone by, but it was only eight thirty. In the morning.

  Getting up early was not all it was cracked up to be. Neither was tackling Cat’s to-do list, which was no joke. Maze had gone through the binder several times now, and though it made her eyes cross, she was on it. There was only one thing in her favor: Cat’s parents weren’t coming in until Friday. A stay of execution—but even just the thought made her feel guilty. They’d buried a child, and now their firstborn was getting married and they were facing the fact that not only would Michael miss it, he’d never experience his own wedding.

  Maze drew a deep breath and pushed that aside. She didn’t bury it; she couldn’t. Truthfully, Michael was never far from her mind. But she locked it up in a box for later. Her plan for today was simple. She was going to wake everyone and hand out tasks. She put bacon in the oven and brewed coffee. Feeling domestic, she texted everyone to get their asses downstairs. Well, everyone but the bride-to-be. Maze wanted Caitlin to take it easy today. She also wanted to prove herself, because for so long Caitlin had taken care of her chicks.

  It was Maze’s turn.

  Thirty minutes later, she’d fed everyone bacon and toast, ignoring their exaggerated shock at her kitchen skills, and then bustled them all outside.

  In the field of wild grass on one of the two picnic benches between the house and the lake, she got everyone staining the newly purchased reclaimed-wood picture frames in various sizes that Caitlin wanted scattered on the reception tables.

  Walker was the exception. He’d gotten a call and stood off to the side, his back to everyone.

  Dillon was actually helping too, and the pugs slept under everyone’s feet, napping like they owned the joint. “You always do this,” he said to them. “You say you want to do stuff, but you don’t mean it.” He picked them up, one under each arm, and carried them inside.

  “I can’t,” Walker was saying to whomever he was talking to. “I told you, something came up this week. Don’t worry, I promise when I get back we’ll have some us time.” He paused, clearly listening, and then laughed.

  Laughed.

  Maze hadn’t heard that sound in a damn long time. And as if he sensed her watching, he turned his head and locked gazes with her. She started to back away but bumped right into an oak tree, so then she had to stand there like she’d meant to lean on it.

  “I’ve gotta go,” he said into the phone, still looking at Maze as he slid it into his pocket.

  “You’ve got to shut down your live screen,” she said, “or you’ll end up butt dialing her, and that’ll make you look pathetic and get you dumped.”

  And here was the thing about Walker. When he was amused, something interesting happened to his face. His eyes twinkled. Not just with merriment but with sheer mischief. On any given day, he practically leaked bad boy, but when he was in a good mood, it multiplied.

  Exponentially.

  Which is what happened now as he came toward her. She actually got dizzy from looking at him. Most people understood personal space boundaries, but Walker did not. At least not with her. He came at her until they were toe-to-toe.

  “So you do have a girlfriend,” she said.

  He was so close he had to tilt his head to look into her face. And of course he didn’t answer the question. Instead he had one of his own. “You sign those papers yet?”

  “You tell her that you’re still married?” she countered, chin up.

  Reaching out, he set a big hand on the tree beside her head. “Worried about me?”

  “Worried about her,” she managed, her body doing traitorous things. Like wanting to brush up against him just to see if their bodies still combusted when they touched, wondering if he still gave that heart-stopping rough male groan whenever she made a sexual move on him, telling herself she needed to know if a single brush of his lips would still set her afire . . .

  He smiled down at her with that mouth she already knew could do diabolically delicious things to her. “You’re cute when you’re jealous.”

  She sputtered because she wasn’t sure which was worse, him saying she was cute—which she most definitely was not—or him thinking she was actually jealous, which was beyond stupid. “I’m not either of those things.”

  “Liar.” He tugged on a strand of her hair. “As for me, I’ve already told you, I’m not the one breaking our vows every night.”

  At that, and the reminder of her deception with Jace, she looked away. But Walker cupped her jaw and brought her face back to his. The smile was gone now, replaced by an expression of intensity, and she was viscerally reminded what it felt like to be in his crosshairs.

  Exhilarating and terrifying.

  “That was my boss on the phone,” he said softly. “So I’m going to ask you again. Is there something you want to tell me?”

  He wanted her to come clean about Jace. But remembering how quickly he’d forgotten her, she knew her pride wasn’t going to let him off the hook. No way, no how. So she pulled free and said, “Absolutely not.” And with her nose in the air, she went to join the others.

  “The frames have to be perfect,” she called out. “They’re going to be filled with pics of Caitlin’s favorite people. If you stain them wrong, you won’t be one of those people.”

  Jace laughed.

  “Trust me,” Heather whispered. “She’s actually not kidding.”

  After, they put together some other wood accents for the reception, centerpieces for the tables, and cute signs designating different areas, like a food and drink station and a photo booth. Maze ticked everything off in the wedding bible, and afterward she took Caitlin for her last dress fitting—with a pit in the bottom of her stomach. Cat’s mom was going to FaceTime at the dress shop, which had Maze sweating in uncomfortable places and blood rushing through her veins. On a scale of one to passing out from a panic attack, she was at a nine-point-nine.

  The shop was a cute, fancy place in San Luis Obispo, about thirty minutes from the lake house. Cat was quiet on the drive. Maze too. She knew why she wasn’t saying much: she couldn’t, because anxiety was blocking her air passage. But the quiet was definitely out of character for Cat. “Are you okay?”

  “Sure,” Cat said.

  “Sure?” Maze slid her a look. “That doesn’t sound like you. What’s wrong?”

  “This week’s going too fast.”

  Maze risked another look. “You want to push the wedding? Just say the word, babe. I’ll handle the rest, no worries.”

  Cat’s eyes filled and she turned away to stare out the window. “That’s not it.”

 
“Then what?”

  “You’ll all leave after the wedding,” Cat said quietly.

  This caused an actual stab of pain straight through Maze’s chest. Taking one hand off the wheel, she set it on Cat’s and entwined their fingers. “I’m a dickhead,” she said.

  Cat gave a startled laugh and wiped a tear away. “Yes.”

  “Huh.” Maze let out a small smile. “Thought you might at least pretend to argue that one. Look . . .” She drew a deep breath as she pulled into the dress shop parking lot, parked, and turned to Cat. “I might physically leave because, well, I have a job and I like to have a roof over my head. But I’ll never vanish on you again. I’ll pick up a phone, answer a text, and come see you—and have you come see me—as often as possible. You can see my work, meet my friends—”

  “You have friends?”

  “Haha,” Maze said. “And yes. I mean, not like you and Heather, of course. But I have work friends, and also a few in my apartment building, and where I volunteer at the women’s shelter—”

  “Wait. You volunteer? At a women’s shelter?”

  Maze shrugged. “I had some extra time and—”

  “You volunteer. You help people, maybe even kids who were like you and needed a place to go so they couldn’t get hurt by some asshole—”

  “I mostly just clean, so don’t make me into some kind of hero,” Maze grumbled, but it was too late.

  Cat leaned over the console and hugged her tight. “Oh, Maze. You’re amazing, you know that, right?”

  “Look, you can come with me when you visit. You can clean a few toilets and then see if you think it’s so amazing. It’s only a two-hour drive. We can even FaceTime—”

  Cat grabbed Maze by the front of her shirt and gave her a smacking kiss right on the lips.

  “Wow. Okay. But I don’t put all the way out unless you buy me a meal first.”

  Cat kissed her again, her eyes shimmering with tears. “You mean it, right?”

  “I mean it,” she vowed, her own throat tight. “Now, are we going in, or do you want to make out?”

  Cat was laughing as they walked into the shop. If only Maze could feel as carefree at the moment, but she was incredibly aware that in a few minutes she was going to see Cat’s mom again.

  They were served champagne and cookies, and were enjoying them, when Cat got a text.

  “Oh no,” she murmured. “Mom’s stuck in a meeting. Her boss is as mean as mine.”

  “It’s okay,” Maze assured her while trying not to show her sheer relief. “I’ve got you. I’ll take pics for her.”

  The tailor first brought out Maze’s bridesmaid dress for her to pick up since Heather had already gotten hers. Maze thought she managed to hide her cringe at the color of the dress, which was supposed to be peach but looked more like a sort of unhealthy orange.

  “Dillon’s mom loved that color,” Caitlin said.

  “It’s . . .” Maze managed to smile. “. . . great.”

  Caitlin nodded doubtfully, looking very distracted as she was ushered into a dressing room.

  When she hadn’t come out five full minutes later, Maze knocked on the door. “Need help?”

  “I need something.”

  “Come out or I’m coming in.”

  Caitlin slowly came out and moved wordlessly to the pedestal in front of three huge mirrors.

  The dress was gorgeous but clearly too tight to zip. Caitlin stared at herself in the mirrors and burst into tears.

  Maze waved off the horrified tailor and sat on the pedestal next to Caitlin.

  “It’s my fault,” Caitlin sobbed. “I ate the entire bag of frozen Costco Bagel Bites, and it was five servings.”

  “Everyone knows the serving size doesn’t count with Bagel Bites. And you’re perfect, by the way. It’s your dress that needs to adjust, just a little. No biggie.”

  Caitlin sniffed. “You think I’m perfect?”

  “One hundred percent perfect.”

  Caitlin half laughed, half cried. “That’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever said to me.”

  “Okay, but we don’t have to—”

  Too late. Caitlin threw her arms around Maze and squeezed tight.

  “—hug,” Maze said with a sigh. But in the end, she went with it and hugged Caitlin back. “You’re a nut.”

  “A perfect nut, though . . .”

  “Cat?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Why are your boobs vibrating?”

  Cat sniffed and pulled back. “I’ve got my phone in my bra. It’s my boss. She calls all the time to either tell me she can’t figure something out or blame me for something going wrong.”

  “But it’s your wedding week.”

  “Oh, she knows.”

  Maze took in the unhappiness in Cat’s eyes and wanted more than anything to bring back the carefree, happy Cat, because she deserved it more than anyone she knew. But short of going back in time to make sure Michael didn’t die, she had no idea how to help. “You need a new job, babe.”

  “I like what I do.”

  “Then you need to do it for someone else, someone who’ll appreciate your talents more. You’re amazing, Cat, and you deserve better.”

  The bride sniffed some more. “You really do love me.”

  “Duh.”

  After surviving yet another long hug, Maze got the tailor, who took some measurements and promised to fix the dress. Then Maze got Cat changed and back to the lake house. She hadn’t even set her bag down when Heather caught her alone in the hallway, pulling her aside, looking around them to make sure no one was listening.

  “What now?” Maze asked with dread.

  “Um.” Heather paused. “Is everything okay?”

  Loaded question. “Yes. Why?”

  “No reason,” Heather said casually. “I just wanted to apologize that you guys keep getting interrupted or stuck with Sammie.”

  “Oh, no worries.” Maze smiled. “She was great this morning at Home Depot. She even got chocolate all over Walker and everything.”

  “Actually, when I asked if everything’s okay, I meant with you and Jace.”

  Oh. Oh shit.

  Heather bit her lower lip. “Listen, it’s none of my business, but Jace is clearly sleeping on the floor of your room. Are you two in a fight?”

  “Um . . .”

  “Because . . .” Heather paused long enough that Maze met her gaze. “I think he’s flirting with me, Maze. I mean, I can’t tell for sure because my radar’s broken. But if he is, then he’s a jerk, which I really need to know.”

  Dammit. “No, he’s not a jerk. He’s a good guy.” She paused. “One who’s just here as a favor.”

  “What?”

  Maze grimaced. “Look, I heard everyone was coming here with a plus-one, so I panicked. After a lot of begging, Jace—my boss and also one of my best friends—agreed to be my pretend boyfriend.”

  Heather stared at her and then laughed. “So . . . he’s available?”

  “One hundred percent. But I need to keep this between us.”

  “‘This’ being a big, fat lie?” Heather asked, very amused.

  Maze blew out another breath. “Yes. It’s embarrassing.”

  “You mean when you panicked thinking that Walker was bringing a plus-one because you’re still totally one hundred percent over the moon in love with him?”

  Maze nearly fell over. “What?”

  Heather grimaced. “Um, what?”

  “Heather.”

  “Yeah, so let’s scrap my last question from the record, on account of it being based on decade-old information.”

  Maze was staring at her, heart pounding. “Oh my God. I knew I recognized the ‘totally one hundred percent over the moon’ part. You and your hacking abilities. You broke into my password-protected journal on that laptop we all used to share, didn’t you?”

  “I was bored.”

  “You were nine.”

  “And curious!”

  Maze covered her face, remembering
some of the whiny teenage details she’d spent long hours languishing on and on about in that journal back in the day.

  “And anyway,” Heather said, “if you’d all just let me play with you guys back then, I wouldn’t have been forced to spy on you. And it’s not like I didn’t understand your crush on Walker. Even then, he was one of the best guys I’d ever known. He understands what he missed out on growing up, and loyalty and connections mean something to him. He’d never turn his back on a single one of us, ever.”

  Oh, but he had . . .

  Heather looked away. “Not like I did. I just . . .” She shook her head. “After that time at Michael’s grave, knowing we all had so much we were dealing with, I knew I couldn’t burden you guys with the mess I’d made of my life. I’m so sorry I vanished like that.”

  “Please don’t put this all on you, we all did it. We all let our own shit put doubts into our heads, and then let those doubts tell us we were better off alone. Which is never the case. I get that now. I think you do too.”

  Heather turned to her. “I don’t ever want to be without you guys again. Ever.” She pulled the baby monitor off her hip to eye the screen. Sammie was still out cold, sleeping peacefully, a small smile on her perfect face.

  “She’s amazing,” Maze said softly. “I’m proud of you, Heather.”

  Heather looked up, surprised. “You are?”

  “Yeah. You were dealt a bad hand and you turned it into a win. It’s a sweet life you’ve got there.” She nodded toward Sammie.

  “It doesn’t feel sweet without you guys in it. I’m really so sorry. I feel like I can’t say it enough, but I didn’t realize until I saw you all again how much I needed you in my life.”

  “Me too.” Maze took her hand. “I wish I’d known you were in trouble, but that I didn’t was on me. But I promise that me vanishing like I did wasn’t about you, ever. I missed you so much.”

  They were hugging it out when Caitlin came down the hall. “What are we doing? Group hug without me?” Dropping her purse to the floor, she insinuated herself into the middle and joined in. “What did I miss?”

  “How stupid we are for vanishing,” Heather said, “for not keeping up with each other’s lives. Never again.”