The Forever Girl

by Jill Shalvis

  “Truth or dare?” Caitlin said with rum-fueled enthusiasm to Maze.

  Shit. The last time Maze had played this game, it’d been with Walker in Vegas. They’d been at the bar, which was where all her problems always started, when he’d dared her to kiss him. Damn him for being such a good kisser . . .

  “Truth,” she said firmly. How bad could it be? But Caitlin was looking very pleased with herself, giving Maze pause. “Dare,” she corrected quickly.

  “Too late. Are you ever going to let yourself fall in love?”

  Maze closed her eyes.

  “You gotta answer,” Cat said. “It’s the rules. And I’m the bride-to-be, you’re not allowed to disappoint the bride-to-be. So. Are you? Going to ever let yourself fall in love?”

  Maze opened her eyes. “Been there, done that, and it didn’t end well for me.”

  Both Caitlin and Heather stared at her in shock.

  “You were in love? Past tense?” Cat asked. “Like . . . with Jace?”

  Maze avoided Heather’s gaze, because of course Heather already knew what Cat didn’t—that she and Jace had never been a thing. “Nope. Not Jace.” Maze pointed to Heather. “Your turn.”

  “Oh no, you don’t,” Cat said, leaning forward. “No way. More info, stat.”

  “Yes, more info, stat,” Heather parroted.

  Maze gave her a long look, silently reminding her that in spite of the fact Heather hated secrets, she was keeping one of her own, that she and Jace were exploring a relationship with each other.

  Heather flushed and bit her lip.

  Cat’s gaze was on Maze, deep and thoughtful. “Does this have anything to do with you and Walker coming into the house in the middle of the night?”

  Heather gasped and turned to Maze. “Really? And yay! ’Bout time!” She lifted a hand to high-five Maze.

  Maze just looked at her, and Heather shrugged and high-fived herself.

  “Come on, Maze,” Cat said. “Talk.”

  “What is this, high school?”

  Cat smiled. “Did you know that when you and Walker are in the same room, the tension’s so high you could provide enough natural electricity for the whole town? Hell, the whole state.”

  “That’s nothing new,” Maze muttered.

  “Maybe not, but the sexual tension is.”

  Maze grimaced. That others had seen it was more than a little bit embarrassing. And once again, memories of the previous night, alone with him up on the cliffs, washed over her. His hand fisted in her hair as he’d moved over her; his rough voice in her ear, making promises he’d absolutely kept. How she’d sunk her teeth into his muscled shoulder trying and failing to keep from panting his name over and over like he’d wanted, making him groan and lose himself in her every bit as much as she’d lost herself in him.

  Here was the thing about being with Walker: He was magic. He knew when to be gentle, when to be . . . not gentle, and she hadn’t been the only one who hadn’t been able to keep quiet either—only he hadn’t tried to hide from her, not one little bit. And hell if that wasn’t one of the sexiest things about him. She sighed. “Fine. You want a real truth from me? I don’t know shit about falling for someone, or if I’ll ever feel it like I should, but yes, Walker and I were together last night, and it wasn’t our first time. Years ago, we had a drunken night in Vegas. There. Two truths for the price of one.”

  Cat and Heather were gawking at her. Then Heather raised her hand.

  Maze groaned. “What?”

  “Can you repeat that?”

  “Please don’t make me say it again.”

  “You and Walker . . .” Cat said. “Together. In Vegas. Without me.”

  Maze had to laugh. “I’m giving you my biggest, darkest secret and all you want to talk about is the fact that we did something without you?”

  Cat winced. “Okay, that came out wrong.”

  “Uh-huh, let’s just say the princess tiara isn’t just a prop.”

  Their resident princess had the good grace to look embarrassed. “Okay, whatever. I’m selfish. But you don’t get to stop the story there.”

  Maze knew it wouldn’t be that easy. “What else do you want to know?”

  “Only everything.”

  “It was my twenty-first birthday.”

  “Right,” Caitlin said. “I remember that. I wanted to take you out and you said you had something you couldn’t get out of.”

  “Yes, Vegas was that something. And I lied, okay? Obviously, I could’ve gotten out of it if I’d wanted to. And if foresight was as good as hindsight, I would’ve gotten out of it. Anyway, he flew me to Vegas to celebrate.”

  “Romantic,” Heather said with a sigh.

  “Wait,” Cat said. “You and Walker were seeing each other back then?”

  “No,” Maze said. “We weren’t at all actually, but we both knew that there was something there and had been for a while.” If she was being honest, it’d always been there. “We’d been ignoring it. But what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.” She shrugged. “Seemed worth it at the time. End of story time. Your turn, Heather. Truth or dare?”

  “Whoa, whoa, hold on just a minute, missy,” Cat said. “There’s totally more. It’s all over your face.”

  Maze tried a light, casual smile. Not easy when she was at least half drunk. Maybe all the way drunk if she considered the fact that she’d actually spilled the beans about Walker. “So . . . it turns out that the bar we were at was serving free mai tais.”

  “Uh-huh. And what did drunk Maze and Walker do?” Heather asked, emptying the last of the pitcher into their glasses for another round.

  Maze’s stomach tightened because she was about to lie her ass off—by omission. “We woke up the next morning and knew it was a mistake, the end.”

  Cat’s hand hit the table hard enough to make the drinks all jump. “Oh my God!” She held out a hand to Heather. “Pay up.”

  “What? Why?” Maze asked.

  “Because I just realized I was right,” Caitlin said. “All those years ago, I told Heather I thought you two had gone together to Vegas.”

  “Wait,” Maze said slowly. “You . . . knew?”

  Cat nodded. “Guessed. Walker had let me know he was going to be out of town for a few days. Then you posted a pic of yourself in a casino.”

  “Okay,” Maze said. “But that didn’t mean we were together.”

  “In your pic you were wearing a plaid button-down around your waist.”

  Heather nodded sagely. “Walker’s. That’s when I knew that one plus one equaled sex.”

  “Wait. So you guys bet on me?” Maze asked.

  Cat’s hand covered hers. “It’s a compliment. I love how you live your life balls out. Well, minus the balls. You know what I mean. Every adventure I’ve had has been thanks to you. Jumping off the bluffs into the lake. Camping in the haunted parts of the woods. That weekend we spent in San Francisco at my first Octoberfest.”

  Maze snorted. “You twisted your ankle jumping off the bluffs, you got poison ivy when we camped, and in San Francisco, you almost got mugged.”

  “But I didn’t! You clocked the would-be mugger right in the face with your purse.”

  “I was too young for those adventures,” Heather said with a laugh. “But you always made it up to me, Maze. You’d make me forts with every spare sheet and blanket in the house and hang out with me for hours, pretending we were stuck on a raft or alone on a mountaintop, no rules. I’ve always thought you were the bravest, most badass chick I’d ever met. Still do.”

  Maze stared at them, saw the utterly genuine honesty in their faces, and relaxed a little. “Sorry. I guess I feel touchy about all the mistakes I’ve made.”

  “Whatever mistakes you’ve made, I’ve made more, I can promise you.” Heather smiled. “And to be honest, regarding Vegas, I actually thought you and Walker would come home married. Because that’s where my young, embarrassingly romantic, and still-unjaded-in-spite-of-everything mind went. And it’s why I owe Cat the
money, because I thought there’d be no way you’d fall for each other, go to Vegas, and not get married.”

  “And I said that you might be impulsive, but you’d never do anything that stupid,” Cat said.

  Maze took a big gulp of her drink. “You’d be surprised.” She set her glass down. “Also, it gets worse. If all that isn’t stupid enough for you, I’m pretty sure I am falling for him.”

  Cat’s and Heather’s mouths were both hanging open again, and Maze pushed her glass away.

  “Dammit. Nobody refill me.”

  “I don’t think you’re stupid,” Heather said.

  Maze looked at Cat.

  “Well, maybe I think you’re a little stupid,” she whispered, tears in her eyes. “But only because I love you so much and I want you to be happy. You’re falling for him?”

  Maze sighed. “I know, the very definition of stupidity, right?”

  “Wrong,” Cat said firmly. “I didn’t mean anything by the stupid comment. You’ve never been stupid. And Walker is . . .” She shook her head. “Well, I think he’s amazing, and there’s no one who could ever deserve him more than you. Not that I can see you ever hitching yourself to a guy for life, but you know what I mean.”

  Maze closed her eyes. “Yeah.”

  “Oh my God,” Heather whispered, her eyes getting wider. “There’s still more, what is it? You did something crazy and got arrested, right?”

  “Crazy, yes. Arrested, no.” Maze paused. “We did get married.” She covered her face. “I blame the endless mai tais. And this cute little chapel right next to the bar. It was closed because the guy who ran it was an Elvis impersonator and he had a gig that night, but then his gig got canceled. I still get flashes of saying ‘I do’ to Walker with a very happy Elvis serving more mai tais.”

  “And then?” Caitlin asked, both she and Heather leaning in for the rest of the story.

  “And then it was over, almost before it began.”

  “Well, that’s disappointing,” Heather said. “Walker’s always struck me as the sort of guy who’d take his time with a woman—”

  “Not that,” Maze said with a laugh. “Trust me, not that.” She drew a deep breath. “I’m talking about the next morning. He let me walk away, never even asking why. In fact, we never talked about it again.”

  “No,” Cat said. “That doesn’t sound like Walker.”

  “Well, it’s what happened.”

  Heather was frowning. “You walked away?”

  “Yes. And I get that my own actions led to that, but people make mistakes, especially me. I screwed up, but he never came after me, never texted or called, nothing,” she said, knowing the betrayal she’d felt was all over her face but utterly unable to hide her emotions from the sisters of her heart.

  “Honey,” Cat said softly. “He’s a guy. You walked out. That’s all he needed to know. He’ll never ask.”

  “He said he’d fix it. ‘It’ being me and our marriage.”

  Cat was still shaking her head. “We’re missing pieces. What happened that morning exactly?”

  “We woke up hungover,” Maze said softly, remembering every little detail in spite of telling Walker she did not. “But even dying, I was ridiculously happy.” She shook her head. “So dumb, because he woke up quiet and somber and unhappy. He actually apologized for letting us make such a huge, stupid mistake. Then he went out to get me some aspirin and caffeine, and I . . .” She winced. She wasn’t exactly proud of this part. “I was reeling over being a mistake. And we all know how well I deal when I’m reeling. But the bottom line was that I refused to be anyone’s damn problem. I knew he was leaving for another tour of duty, which also made me a liability. Not wanting to hear it again in greater detail, I left him an I’m sorry note and sneaked out. I went and found drunk Elvis, who promised not to file the papers, which meant the wedding was as good as never happened. Then I let Walker know via text, and that was the last we ever talked about it.”

  “Wow, you really did walk away from him,” Heather said.

  “More like ran,” Caitlin noted, sounding incredibly unimpressed with her.

  “I was a mistake to him,” Maze insisted.

  “Not you,” Cat said. “He never said you were a mistake.”

  Heather nodded in agreement.

  “You weren’t there, you didn’t hear him say it,” Maze said quietly, a little thrown that they weren’t automatically agreeing with her. “And anyway, the mistake lives because Elvis did file the papers, meaning we’ve been married this whole time.”

  “Oh my God!” Heather exclaimed.

  “Seriously?” Caitlin asked.

  Maze nodded. “He told me a few days after we got here.”

  “And you’re just now telling us?” Cat asked. “Wow.”

  “It took me until now to process,” Maze said.

  “Wow,” Cat said again.

  “It threw me,” Maze said. “Don’t be mad. I can’t do this if you’re mad.”

  “Do what?”

  “Anything,” Maze said truthfully.

  Cat’s eyes got teary. “Aw. But you’ve gotta promise you’ll tell me stuff!”

  “The next time I’m drunk and plan anything stupid, you’ll be the first to know,” Maze said.

  “Thank you.” Cat smiled. “You’re married!”

  Maze shook her head. “Don’t get excited. We’re filing for a divorce.” As soon as she signed the papers . . . “And I really don’t want to talk about this anymore,” she said, pulling a page from Cat’s book. “This is your night, we’re moving on now. And it’s Heather’s turn.”

  “Fine, but this isn’t over.” On that note, Caitlin pulled out two twenties and slapped them into Heather’s waiting palm.

  “You’re kidding me,” Maze said. “My sex life’s worth only forty bucks?”

  “Back then, forty bucks was a lot to me,” Heather said. “Still is, actually. I can feed Sammie and me for a week if we’re careful.”

  Maze’s heart squeezed on that, thinking about Heather working multiple jobs waitressing and bookkeeping to make ends meet. She pulled forty out of her wallet—her spending money for the week, because she wasn’t much better off than Heather, but at least she had only one mouth to feed—and pushed it across the tabletop. “Seems only fair that I pay up too, seeing as I started the whole thing with Walker to begin with.”

  “What do you mean you started the whole thing?” Cat asked.

  Heather read Maze’s expression and smiled. “You made the first move.”

  “After he dared me to kiss him, yes.” Okay, so she’d made the second move too . . . Not that Walker had been a slouch in that department. She might have started it, but he’d certainly finished it in ways that she still dreamed about at night. And though she’d long ago convinced herself that she remembered it being far better than it was, the other night on the bluffs had proven her wrong. Very wrong. He’d been everything she remembered.

  And more.

  “Truth or dare?” she said desperately to Heather.

  “After what you two just went through? Dare,” Heather said firmly.

  “No.” Cat shook her head. “New rule. Dares are out tonight. So truth.” She softened her voice. “Tell us what’s going on with you and your baby daddy.”

  Heather stared at her for a beat, then tried Cat’s trick of dropping her forehead to the table and banging it a few times.

  “Yeah, so that doesn’t actually help,” Maze said.

  Head still down, Heather sighed. “He’s not in my life.”

  Cat gasped. “But you said—”

  “I lied. We met in a bar. He drove a motorcycle and had a wicked smile. We had a really great night, and in the morning his alarm went off at the butt crack of dawn. He said he had to work and that he’d call me later. Long story short—he didn’t.” She swallowed hard. “When I found out I was pregnant, I texted him, but he ghosted me. Walker came and visited me on a day that I was having a really hard time and was freaked out about d
oing this all on my own. So he went looking for the guy.” Heather paused, drew a deep breath, and lifted her head, her eyes bright with tears. “He’d been killed on the way home the morning after our night together. He was sideswiped by a Mack truck.”

  “Oh my God,” Caitlin said, and climbed out of her side of the booth to scoot in next to Heather before wrapping her arms around her. “You went through this all alone?”

  Heather sniffed. “That’s not even the worst part. His parents sued me for custody of Sammie. They didn’t win, again thanks to Walker, but for a long time it made me doubt my ability to do the mom thing. I’m still on shaky ground. I mean, let’s face it, I can barely take care of myself, much less two of us.”

  “I think you’re doing amazing,” Caitlin said softly, tearfully. “Sammie’s amazing.”

  “And you’re not alone,” Maze said, also leaving her side of the booth to squeeze in with them both. “Not ever again. We need to stick together and keep each other from making stupid mistakes.”

  “Hey, at least you’re both doing better than me.” Cat wiped her tears away. “I’m about to marry into a family who thinks I’m not good enough for their son.”

  “You’re perfect,” Maze said.

  Caitlin shook her head.

  “Okay, so you’re perfect just the way you are.”

  Caitlin snorted. “You don’t understand. Dillon doesn’t have any siblings, but there are cousins, and they’re very close. And those cousins all married big—one to a stockbroker, another to a doctor. One’s married to a former Olympic skier. They’re people who do it all, babies and careers. I can’t compete with that.”

  “You shouldn’t have to,” Maze said. “We like you just the way you are. And Dillon must agree. I mean, he put a ring on it.”

  They all looked down at Caitlin’s admittedly gorgeous rock. “I know I’m lucky,” she said quietly. “Dillon’s got a great job, makes a solid living, and he’s good to me.”

  “Um,” Heather said. “Aren’t you missing something?”

  Caitlin blinked and thought about that. “Oh! Of course! He handles all the yard work, and he even puts the seat down.”

  “Nice,” Heather said. “It’s hard to get a man to do that. But I was talking about love. You didn’t mention love, not even once.”