To Honor

by Laura Scott

  “Hey, are you all right?” She didn’t want to get too close, in case this was nothing more than a clever trap.

  A single mother couldn’t be too careful.

  There was no response, but she was beginning to believe that someone was hurt. Dropping the pepper spray back into her bag, she cautiously stepped closer.

  It wasn’t easy to see in the dusk, so she used her flashlight app and swept the beam over the supine figure. She gasped when she recognized the man lying in the dirt with his eyes closed and the side of his head covered in blood.

  Jesse McNally.

  3

  The sledgehammer in his head wouldn’t stop, the pain reverberating with every beat of his heart. For a moment, he couldn’t remember what happened. Upon hearing a female voice talking to him, he did his best to focus on what she was saying.

  “Jesse? I’m calling an ambulance.”

  “No. I’m fine.” He blinked and put up a hand to shield the light shining on him. “Carla?”

  “You’re hurt, may even have a concussion.” The light moved away from his face, and he could make out Carla’s worried expression as she knelt beside him.

  “Just—um—give me a minute.” He pushed himself up on his elbows, swallowing a groan as the pain in his head intensified. If he said too much about how awful he felt, she’d call the ambulance for sure.

  “What happened?” Carla’s voice was full of concern, and he found it ironic that it took being hit on the side of his head for her to stop being angry with him. At least, temporarily.

  “I got out of the truck and felt someone come up alongside me. I thought it was you, but then something hit me hard on the side of the head.”

  “I promise it wasn’t me.” Carla’s voice held a note of uncertainty as if she was upset that he’d believed she was the one who’d hit him. “I was late because I stopped at home after work to see Cassie before she went to bed. I went inside Gino’s and, when I didn’t see you, came back out here.”

  “I know it wasn’t you.” No matter how upset Carla might feel toward him for reasons he still didn’t understand, he couldn’t imagine her resorting to physical violence. Besides, this recent attack had to be related to the brick through his windshield.

  But who in McNally Bay hated him this much? He’d only been in town for a few days, and until today, most of that time had been spent with his family.

  “We should call the police,” Carla said. “You need to report this.”

  It made sense, but he felt as if it would be a futile effort. How would the sheriff’s deputies figure out who’d attacked him? Especially since he had no idea who was holding a grudge?

  “Fine.” He swiped the blood from his face with the hem of his T-shirt, then reached out toward her. “Help me up, would you?”

  There was a slight hesitation before she reached out to take his hand. Her slender hand was warm, yet firm. With her support, he managed to stagger to his feet. His stomach rolled with nausea, but he forced himself to ignore it. “Thanks.”

  “I’m calling the cops.” Carla dropped his hand as if she’d been burned, then dug out her phone. As she dialed the 911 dispatcher, he tried to remember if he’d noticed anyone lurking nearby prior to being smacked.

  Unfortunately, he hadn’t been paying attention to his surroundings, too focused on the upcoming discussion with Carla about Cassie.

  “They’re sending a deputy.” Carla gestured to her car. “Maybe you should sit down.”

  She was right, he wasn’t feeling great. She opened the passenger side door of her car, and he gratefully lowered himself down on the seat. When she moved away, he frowned. “Hold on, we still need to talk.”

  “I know.” She turned to face him, her expression guarded. “But we should wait until you’ve been checked out.”

  Jesse felt the opportunity might disappear forever if they didn’t hash things out here and now. “Just tell me the truth. Is Cassie my daughter?”

  She stared at him for a long moment before slowly nodding. “Yes. But if you want what’s best for her, you’ll keep this information to yourself. No one else needs to know.”

  Hearing her say the words he’d expected didn’t lessen the impact. He could only focus on one issue at a time. “I don’t understand. Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “I drove up to Madison to do just that, but you were—otherwise occupied. With a blonde.”

  Otherwise occupied with a blonde? He felt as if she’d hit him with another brick. “What are you talking about?”

  She let out her breath in a heavy sigh. “I saw you, Jesse. Kissing the blonde. Or don’t you remember we discussed getting together that weekend?”

  A flash of guilt hit hard.

  “Yeah, not only did you forget you invited me, but I found you with the blonde. So I left.”

  For the life of him, he couldn’t remember a blonde, but he did remember discussing how they’d get together. “When?”

  “Homecoming weekend.” She shrugged and looked away. “I know it was always party-town in Madison during homecoming, but frankly I was preoccupied with the fact that I’d just learned I was pregnant.”

  Oh man. He’d blown it big time. His plans with Carla hadn’t ever been finalized, but he had mentioned getting together over homecoming weekend. Thinking back now, he vaguely remembered being with a large group of freshmen during homecoming. They’d had a fair amount to drink, so the memories were blurry. Had he been kissing a blonde? Maybe. But it wasn’t long after that weekend that he turned his back on the party scene to focus on his grades. He’d been offered a scholarship to attend the university, and payments were dependent on his maintaining a good GPA.

  “Look, Carla, I’m sorry. You’re right, I had mentioned getting together, but we never really made final plans. And I . . . had a little too much fun that weekend, but if I had known you were there, that you needed me, I would have acted differently.”

  Her expression was full of doubt. “Yeah, I’m sure.”

  He squelched a flash of anger. “Did it occur to you to try calling first? If I had known you were coming, I wouldn’t have been out with my friends. Come on, Carla, you have to know that I’m not the kind of guy who would turn his back on his responsibilities.”

  Before she could answer, a brown Clark County Sheriff’s Deputy squad rolled into Gino’s parking lot. Carla moved away, flagging the deputy over. A pretty woman slid out from behind the wheel, and Jesse nodded in greeting.

  “I’m Deputy Waldorf. What happened here?”

  “I’m Carla Templeton, and this is Jesse McNally. I found him lying unconscious in the bushes.”

  “McNally?” Deputy Waldorf echoed. “Related to Jemma and Jazz, right?”

  “Yeah. I’m one of the older brothers.” He was used to being known as just one of the McNally boys, his oldest brother Jake had been a bit on the wild side, which meant that the rest of them had been treated the same way. Jeremy was second oldest, then him, then Jonas, and finally the twins, Jemma and Jazz.

  With a wince, he understood that no matter what stunts Jake and Jeremy had pulled, Jesse was the one who’d fathered an illegitimate child. To his knowledge, no one else in the family had done anything like that.

  It was something everyone would expect of Jake, not him.

  “Why don’t you start at the beginning?” Deputy Waldorf suggested.

  Jesse repeated the brief narrative, keeping out the part about how he hadn’t been paying attention because he’d been thinking about the daughter he’d just met earlier that day. Deputy Waldorf tried to convince him to be checked out by an ambulance, but he refused.

  “I feel just like the time I was hit by the two-ton linebacker while playing high school football. I’ll be fine.”

  “And you’re sure you have no idea who might be holding a grudge against you?”

  He glanced at Carla, who was standing off to the side, her arms crossed protectively over his chest, before responding. “I’m sure. I’ve only been here since
Friday. Four days doesn’t seem long enough to make local enemies.”

  “There are plenty of tourists,” Carla pointed out. “For all you know, someone could have followed you here.”

  “That’s true,” Deputy Waldorf echoed thoughtfully. “What did you say your job entailed?”

  “I’m a computer geek.” It was the easiest way to describe it. “I investigate and restore computer security systems of companies that have been hacked.”

  “Hmm.” Deputy Waldorf’s tone was noncommittal.

  “Exactly,” Jesse said on a sigh. “Not exactly the type of job that creates enemies.”

  “I would still recommend that you make a list of your former clients. Could be that someone feels you didn’t do a very good job.”

  “Maybe.” He wasn’t going to agree to any such thing, primarily because of the confidentiality agreements he’d signed. But it may be worth the effort of calling his partner, Brian Malone. Their company was very successful, and if there was the possibility of a client holding a grudge, his partner needed to know.

  Avery and Arch in particular hadn’t been thrilled with the length of time their system was down. But he had eventually restored it. Surely they couldn’t be upset about that?

  “Call me when you have that list.” Deputy Waldorf closed her small notebook and tucked it into her pocket. “Or if you remember anything else that may help us find the person responsible.”

  “No video cameras?” He looked up at Gino’s building.

  “No.” Deputy Waldorf lifted a brow. “This is McNally Bay, not Chicago.”

  He understood what she was saying. The quaint town was a nice vacation spot but hardly functioned the way big cities did, with video cameras on every stop-and-go light and on top of various buildings.

  After the deputy left, Carla eyed him warily. He could tell she wanted him out of her car, but he didn’t move.

  “Listen, Jesse, I need to go, but I’m happy to drive you home.”

  “Not yet. We still have a lot to talk about. I want to know all about Cassie. And I want to know when we can tell her that I’m her father.”

  Carla’s expression turned grim. “We aren’t telling her anything. Why would you want to disrupt her life like that? She’s eight. Not old enough to understand why you showed up now out of the blue. And besides, it’s not as if you’re going to be around for long. You live in Chicago and your job involves a lot of travel, doesn’t it?”

  How did she know that? Had she been secretly following him all these years? He mainly used social media to keep in touch with his siblings, without posting a lot about his personal life.

  He tried to pull his thoughts together. “Carla, she’s my daughter. A McNally. I want to be a part of her life.”

  “A part-time father?” Carla let out a harsh laugh. “Why am I not surprised? I’m sure that will work for a year at the most, and then those visits will get less and less until they’re nonexistent, leaving Cassie to wonder what she did to make you mad.”

  That made him wince. “That’s not what I meant. Yes, my job involves travel, but I can control my schedule to a certain degree. I can decline jobs that are too far away. And I would never make Cassie feel bad.”

  “And live here in McNally Bay between jobs?”

  His initial instinct was to agree, but he knew it wasn’t practical. Living in Chicago, close to a large airport, was important. Traveling in and out of McNally Bay would take far too long. He wasn’t even sure where the closest airport was from here. Kalamazoo? Maybe.

  He tried to think of a compromise, but his brain was still feeling a bit scrambled.

  “Yeah, that’s what I thought.” Carla gave an impatient wave. “Do you want a lift home or not?”

  He pushed himself upright, closing the passenger side door behind him. “No, I’m fine, but I’d rather keep talking for a while. I still have questions. I’d like to hear everything about Cassie. What she likes, how school is going, what are her favorite pastimes . . .”

  “Sorry, but I don’t have time for this. I need to be at work early in the morning.” Carla pulled out her keys and opened the driver’s side door. “Goodbye, Jesse.”

  It wasn’t goodbye, but he didn’t prevent her from leaving, standing and watching long after the red taillights were no longer visible.

  The issues Carla had brought up were important. Big questions and concerns he needed time to digest. Up until now, he’d been more upset at the fact that she’d kept Cassie a secret all these years than worrying about how they’d interact in the future.

  As much as he wanted to be a part of his daughter’s life, he knew he needed time to regroup. To figure out how to make that work.

  But no way was this over. Not by a long shot.

  He wasn’t giving up his daughter that easily.

  Carla drove away from Gino’s with a knot in her stomach. She should be happy she’d won the first round, but she sensed that, for Jesse, the issue wasn’t even close to being resolved.

  The Jesse she remembered was stubborn and tenacious. When she’d thrown what was best for Cassie at him, he’d surprised her by appearing to consider her point.

  Logically, she knew he wouldn’t do anything to hurt Cassie. But he didn’t understand the complicated relationship between a father and a daughter.

  Her relationship with her father wasn’t a good example either. Her father had treated her indifferently as if he couldn’t care where she was or what she was doing. She’d envied her friends who had fathers who doted on them.

  She didn’t want to remember the last week of her father’s life. The sting of his hand against her face. The burning humiliation, which had been so much worse than the physical pain. The anger and disappointment in his eyes. The way he’d scathingly told her the father of her baby better not be one of those no-good McNallys.

  It was the most difficult time of her life. Worse, really, than driving up to Madison, Wisconsin, to find Jesse kissing a beautiful blonde. The two events back-to-back had sent her reeling into a deep pit of guilt. Still, nine years later and she didn’t understand what her father had meant by those no-good McNallys. She’d tried to ask her mother about the animosity that her father had toward the McNally family, but her mother had refused to talk about it.

  And Carla hadn’t pushed. Because after her father’s death, it was all she could do to keep her mother from sliding into a pit of despair. Being pregnant with the first and only grandchild had certainly been a distraction. They’d stayed focused on preparing Cassie’s room and all the items she’d need once Carla brought Cassie home.

  There hadn’t been a baby shower, so they’d scrimped and saved buying a little bit each month until they had everything ready.

  Because she owed her mother so much, especially with all the childcare she’d provided, Carla hadn’t wanted to do anything to rock the boat. But now, she couldn’t stop wondering about her father’s reaction. Sure, any man would be upset to learn his eighteen-year-old daughter was pregnant, but why hold a grudge specifically against the McNallys?

  She’d taken full responsibility for her mistakes. And Cassie was a blessing. Her daughter was so full of life, of joy that she didn’t regret a single minute.

  And she had never forgotten what it felt like to be held in Jesse’s strong arms.

  The drive to the home she shared with her mother and daughter didn’t take long. It was close enough to the store that she walked to work each morning as a way to save on wear and tear on her ancient vehicle. While she was doing fine financially, she wasn’t extravagant by nature.

  No little red Corvette, that’s for sure.

  Shaking her head at her foolishness, she parked in the driveway and slid out from behind the wheel. As she approached the front door, she heard her name.

  “Carla?”

  She spun toward the sound, putting a hand up to cover her racing heart. A man of average height and weight approached from the street, and she frowned, wondering why she hadn’t seen him when she pull
ed in. It took her a moment to recognize Dean Thomas, the principal of Cassie’s school.

  “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you,” Dean said. “I came by earlier, but your mom said you were out.”

  “You waited for me?” Despite the warm summer air, she felt a chill. “Why?”

  “Oh no, not really.” Dean’s brown hair was already thinning on top, despite the fact that he was only about eight years her senior. He cleared his throat and shuffled his feet as if sensing her distress. “I was down on Main Street when I saw you drive by.” He shrugged and smiled. “I decided to head over.”

  Their house was just one block off Main Street, but his story didn’t quite make sense. She should have seen him walking toward her house.

  Then again, she had been lost in the past. Reliving those distressing early days when she’d found out she was pregnant with Jesse’s child.

  “Okay, uh, did you need something?” She finally broke the tense silence. “It’s getting late. I have to open the store at eight o’clock tomorrow morning.”

  “Oh, nothing urgent.” Dean shoved his hands into the pockets of his tan slacks. “I wanted to invite you to have dinner with me on Saturday night.”

  She did her best to hide her discomfort. Dean was a nice guy, but she had zero interest in dating him. The coffee they’d shared had been an uncomfortable and stilted experience. One she didn’t care to repeat.

  An image of Jesse’s adorable grin, so much like Cassie’s, flashed in her mind. “Dean, I’m so sorry, but I’m not interested in dating anyone right now. Truly, it’s all I can do to manage my responsibilities at the store and with Cassie.” She smiled in an effort to take the sting out of her rejection. “You’re a great guy, and you deserve someone special.”

  “And that’s not you.” His words were flat, and she nearly winced.

  “I’m sorry,” she repeated, wishing more than anything she’d given Jesse a ride home. Anything to avoid this awkward interaction with the principal of her daughter’s school. She hoped he wouldn’t take his frustration regarding her lack of interest in him out on her daughter.