Anyone But Nick

by Bloom, Penelope

  Iris jabbed him in the shoulder with her knuckles and cleared her throat.

  Cade sighed. “All I’m saying is that Max Frost is the kind of name a seven-year-old boy would give himself if he got a chance for a redo. This was a grown man, right? Not a child?”

  I closed my eyes and wished for the patience to survive this. “Yes, his name is Max Frost. I’m pretty sure he changed his last name at some point after he became a TV reporter.”

  Rich’s expression darkened. “A reporter? What did he want?”

  “He figured out that Nick and I had a past back in high school. Now he’s got this story put together that’ll make it look like Nick only bought Bark Bites so he could hook up with me.”

  “Dirty bastard,” Cade said, winking at Nick. “But nice. I gotta admit it. Nice. I was wondering why you were interested in a dog company. But now I see it’s because you were the dog all along.”

  Nick groaned. “He’s making it up, dumbass. Did you forget the part where we didn’t even know Miranda was coming to interview before we bought the company?”

  “I mean, she did walk in the door right before you handed Dan the check. An argument could be made—”

  “An argument could be made that you’re dumber than the snails you spend all day thinking about,” Nick snapped. “It’s bullshit. He knows it, and we know it. It’s that simple, but it won’t matter to anyone else. Good gossip spreads, and people will eat the story up.”

  “Okay, first of all,” Cade said. “Way out of line. You really have no way of knowing how dumb a snail is. They could have an entirely different method of communication from us. Shit, for all you know, you just gave me a compliment. Would we even know it if snails had colonized other planets? Mastered interstellar travel? No. They’re so small we wouldn’t even see their factories or spaceships. So, yeah, now who’s the dumbass?”

  Rich put his palm to his forehead. “I’m pretty sure it’s still you, Cade.”

  Cade held up his palms. “Whatever you say. Just don’t come crying to me when it turns out I was right all along.”

  From the look on Rich’s face, he knew arguing the obvious was futile.

  “The point is,” I said, “he’s going to run the story if I don’t go work for Robbie in LA. And since my decision could possibly impact everybody here, I wanted to talk to you all before I made a choice.”

  Cade put his hands over Bear’s ears. “Fuck Robbie,” Cade suggested. “Figuratively, I mean,” he said quickly once he saw the look on Nick’s face. “Though, I do think fucking Robbie—or this Max Frost character, for that matter—would be a potential solution as well. Not that I’m recommending it, Nick, so stop glaring at me.” He pulled his hands off Bear’s ears once he’d finished talking.

  “You know we’re with you,” Kira said. “I could never ask you to go work for your douchebag ex, even if somebody had a gun to our heads.”

  “Well,” Iris said. “If somebody had a gun to my head, I might ask Miranda to suck it up. But yeah, ditto. Minus the gun part.”

  “This wouldn’t be the first publicity hit Sion has suffered,” Rich said. “We’ve survived before, and we can do it again. Besides, I don’t want that asshole to think he can get what he wants by blackmailing you. Teach him a lesson and let the story run.”

  Cade looked surprised when we all were looking at him. “Oh, my turn. The moment that assclown changed his name to Max Frost, he basically invited every human being on the planet to hate him. And guess what, Mr. Frost? Invitation accepted. Let him run the story. So, can we go look at watermelons now? I’ve been waiting all day for this.”

  “Yeah!” Bear shouted.

  Nick and I lagged behind while everyone filed out to head for the river, where the main event was taking place. He put a hand on my shoulder and gave a little squeeze. “Did that help you make a decision?”

  “Mostly,” I said. “Now that I know you and your brothers are okay with your end of the fallout, I just need to decide if I can handle my own end.”

  “You mean what everyone around here will think?”

  “Yeah,” I said. “I clung to my image for so long that letting Max’s story destroy it feels . . . I don’t know. I guess that’s the problem. I don’t know how it’ll feel to lose that part of me, and I don’t think I will until it happens.”

  “I think life is full of doors. Some are labeled so you know exactly where they’ll take you. You can have a pretty normal, just-fine life if you only ever go through those doors. But I think the best stuff is behind the blank doors. You just feel a pull toward them, but you have no way of knowing what’ll be on the other side until you go for it.”

  “Couldn’t I just stick my head in and peek around?”

  “Don’t try to deconstruct my little metaphor. You know what I mean.”

  I smiled. “I do. And maybe you’re right. I just need to decide if I’m ready to open that door.”

  “That sounds like a decision that can wait until after the watermelon festivities,” Nick said. “Come on. Let’s get your mind off it, even if it’s just for a couple hours.”

  There were two pleasant surprises at this year’s Watermelon Day. Surprise number one was a brand-new event—which was rumored to have been sponsored by and invented by none other than Cade King himself. The other surprise was that Robbie had apparently made the trip back to West Valley to attend. A small part of me was still afraid of taking the final leap and letting Max run the story, but something about seeing Robbie skulking around the crowd while glaring daggers at Nick and me was helping push me to it.

  Nick wanted to go talk to him, but I had a feeling there’d be a more satisfying opportunity to let Robbie know what our decision was going to be if we bided our time.

  We made our way past rows of vendors, who were selling everything from watermelon-flavored adult beverages to watermelon ice cream. There was even a place where you could get yourself fitted for a custom watermelon helmet to take part in Cade’s event. Basically, they punched a head-size hole out of a hollowed-out watermelon and then made eye holes and a mouth hole.

  Roughly a quarter of the people walking around the event were wearing watermelon helmets.

  We found Kira and Iris up by a roped-off gladiatorial-style ring in the center of a grassy field. There were remnants of shattered watermelons and zucchinis everywhere.

  “I’m guessing Cade is planning to participate,” I said, nudging Iris. “Did we miss it already?”

  “No,” she said. “Cade and Rich are actually up after these two.”

  Nick squinted. “Rich agreed to this?”

  “Cade got under his skin until Rich just wanted an excuse to whack him in the head with a zucchini a few dozen times,” Kira explained. “He was trying to convince Rich that dinosaurs were actually made up by museums to sell more tickets. I don’t think he actually believed it, but he argued with Rich until it came to this.” She gestured helplessly to the circle, where two people who appeared to be in their seventies were limply whacking each other in the head with zucchinis.

  “What happens if the . . . fighters are too weak to crack each other’s helmet?” I asked.

  “Sudden death,” Iris explained. “First one to poke the zucchini in the other person’s mouth hole wins.”

  Nick snorted.

  I turned to make sure the sound had actually come from him, and, sure enough, he was smiling like an amused child.

  “Really?” I asked, grinning.

  “Sorry. Something about the phrase mouth hole—well, that and the idea of people forcefully jamming zucchinis into each other’s mouths. Where else would this be condoned by an entire crowd?”

  “You’re right,” I said. “Probably nowhere.” And, sure enough, the referee called for sudden death, and the two elderly combatants switched from overhead swings to short thrusts until one landed a direct mouth hole hit.

  Cade and Rich walked out next, looking somehow intimidating even with giant watermelons thrust over their heads. I leaned o
n the ropes, eager to watch the match.

  Cade was walking in a semicircle around Rich with an impressively sized zucchini in one hand and a makeshift watermelon shield in the other. “Dinosaurs are a lie,” he shouted.

  Rich took a few deep breaths and squeezed his weapon tighter. “Come a little closer and say that.”

  “Dinosaurs,” Cade said, advancing toward Rich. “Are.” He took one lunging swing at Rich when he got in range. “A lie!”

  Rich easily ducked Cade’s swing and swung the zucchini at Cade’s head like it was a miniature baseball bat. With a single blow, the watermelon cracked open, and Cade was left standing there openmouthed and covered in watermelon juice.

  Before Cade could even close his mouth, Rich jabbed the zucchini in his mouth, which drew a roar of approval from the crowd.

  I turned to Nick and saw he was practically dying with laughter. When he noticed me looking, he casually reached out and took my hand. After what had happened last night, it shouldn’t have made butterflies explode in my stomach like it did. Either way, I was happy to lean into his shoulder.

  I don’t know who, if anyone, even noticed that we were practically announcing we were together to the public, but it felt like putting my hand on that metaphorical door Nick had been talking about. All I needed to do now was give it a push and take the step.

  Once the sun set and the majority of families with kids went back home, it was time for the drinking contest. Hollowed-out watermelon halves were loaded with several shots’ worth of liquor. The game was simple. Whoever drank the contents first won.

  Nick and I were waiting nearby to watch when we spotted Max Frost standing with Robbie near the tables that were being set up for the event.

  “I have a really childish idea,” I said, nudging Nick as we watched the two of them.

  “If it involves pissing those two off, I don’t care how childish it is. I’m in.”

  “Then we need to convince them to participate in the contest, because I need them to be sloppy drunk for this to have a chance.”

  A few minutes later, Nick watched from a distance while I approached Robbie, who had split off from Max. I wasn’t sure how long I’d have him alone, so I knew I needed to be fast. I put on a little show of stumbling and slurring slightly once he saw me coming.

  “Hey,” I said.

  Robbie was clearly confused—and sober, from the looks of it. “Did you reconsider my offer?”

  “Maybe. But I’ll make you a deal. Win the drinking contest, and I’ll do that thing you always wanted me to do.”

  His eyebrows shot up. “Wait. You’re serious?”

  I nodded. “Super serious.” It took everything in me not to burst out laughing on the spot. I’d just told Nick about Robbie’s deepest, darkest secret fetish, which I’d never even come close to agreeing to. He had this weird fixation with food being eaten off his dick. When I’d told Nick, it had taken him a long minute to stop laughing, and just thinking of how amused he’d been was making it almost impossible to keep up my act right now. “And there’s plenty of watermelon here. All you’ve got to do is win. We could meet in the town hall building. They never lock the back door.”

  As I hoped, Robbie’s horniness seemed to override his good sense. He left to go enter the competition. I looked to Nick, who was still red in the face and covering a wide smile with his hand. He pointed at something behind me and nodded. I turned to see Max Frost coming back with a big soft pretzel in his hands.

  I kept up my drunken act and stumbled toward him. “Hey,” I said.

  Max sized me up, and once he seemed convinced I was drunk, there was a predatory glint in his eyes. “Hey, Miranda. It’s been a while.”

  “I need a favor.”

  “I don’t do favors for free,” he said.

  I wiggled my eyebrows in what I hoped was a convincing sloppy-drunk-seductress look. “I need you to enter the drinking contest and come in second place. Robbie needs to win. Do that for me, and I’ll let you have what you wanted at Julian Ridge.”

  Max drew his eyebrows together. “Why do you care about who wins the drinking contest?”

  “Does it matter? Oh, and if you do what I ask, then meet me in the town hall building. They leave the front door unlocked. And I want you to show up wearing nothing but a watermelon,” I added. I nearly lost my composure at that, but through a heroic effort, I held my cool.

  “Wearing nothing but—you’re serious?”

  I walked off and waved. “Second place. Don’t forget,” I said over my shoulder.

  I met Nick once I was done planting the seeds of chaos, and I finally burst out in laughter. Nick was smiling wide. “You really think they’ll do it?”

  “The good thing is we don’t need to wait long to find out. The drinking contest starts in ten minutes.”

  As much as I wanted to watch the drinking contest, Nick and I spent the next few minutes spreading word that a secret, hilarious show was going to be taking place in the town hall building immediately after the drinking contest. With Cade’s help, we convinced a relatively large group of people to follow us there.

  After that, all we could do was wait.

  We had to wait for only about twenty minutes in a darkened town hall meeting room before we heard somebody struggling at the back door. We had convinced everyone that no matter what, they had to stay absolutely silent and that nobody could move. I wasn’t sure it would work, but the meeting room was big enough and dark enough that I thought we at least had a chance.

  Nick and I motioned for everyone to be quiet.

  A moment later, the back door opened. It was so dark that we couldn’t see anything except the silhouette of a dark figure walking slowly and uncertainly into the building. The door closed behind him.

  “You here?” Robbie whispered. “Are you here?” He whispered again, only louder this time. There was a thump when he bumped into something and a few curses. “Damn it. Come on out and eat some of this watermelon off my dick!”

  I had to bite my fist to stop from laughing. As much as I wanted to flip the light switch right away, I was waiting in hopes that Max would arrive soon enough.

  Luckily, the front door opened just a few seconds later. I saw another dark silhouette of a man creep into the room. “Hey,” he called in a deep voice I recognized as Max’s. “I brought the watermelon you asked for. I hope you’re hungry.”

  Before Robbie could reply, I flicked on the light switch. Suddenly, the twenty or so people gathered with us in the small room had an unfiltered view of Robbie—who had skewered about five pieces of watermelon with his erect penis and was otherwise naked. Max, on the other hand, was clutching a full-size watermelon with what I assumed must’ve been a small—very small—penis-size hole in it. Both men were butt naked and staring wide eyed at all of us.

  “This isn’t what it looks like,” Robbie said.

  Cade burst out laughing, along with everyone else who had come to watch the surprise show.

  “Hey,” Cade said. “I think Max looks hungry. Give him some of that watermelon like you were planning.”

  Max decided the wisest course of action was to turn and run for the front door. Robbie paused just long enough to glare at me before he ran toward the back door and shuffled out with one hand covering his ass crack.

  Nick looked down at me. “Do you think he knows you’re not going to take his job now?”

  I grinned. I hadn’t thought of it when I was quickly coming up with this plan, but in a way, I’d made a final decision without realizing it. Robbie was almost certainly going to tell Max to run the story now. Maybe that should’ve scared me or made me feel sick to my stomach, but I was surprised to find it didn’t.

  “Maybe he could give Max the job instead. They could have Watermelon Wednesdays every week if they wanted.”

  Nick laughed. “They’re going to have a hard time living that down, aren’t they?”

  “I hope so.”

  Chapter 26

  NICK


  West Valley was a town of rolling green, pristine hills. Wildflowers and gently blowing grass were often no more than a few steps from any given building, and in some places, you could travel only a few feet down a hill and find yourself with a view of nothing but the valley and the hills in every direction.

  Once we’d finished getting payback on Max and Robbie, we were able to easily slip away from the festival without being noticed. Everybody who had been at the town hall with us had been busy recounting increasingly embellished versions of what had happened.

  To be honest, I wasn’t sure it would’ve mattered if we’d had an audience. It had been less than a day since I’d had her in the shower in LA, and I was already ravenous for more.

  I had dragged her by the hand to a place on the hill. Once I’d looked around and decided it was as good as any, I’d gestured to the ground.

  The setting sun caught her face as she smiled, highlighting just how breathtaking she was. I could even see the faint silhouette of her body through her summer dress. It was far more girly and casual than what she normally wore, but I was absolutely enjoying the look on her.

  “I know you mentioned wanting a chance to get to taste me,” she said. When she slowly got down on her knees in front of me, I think my heart rate doubled. “But . . .” Her hands went to my belt and started working on getting my pants loose. “As your business partner, I don’t think it would be an equitable exchange if you got to taste me last time and I didn’t get the same opportunity.”

  “I never expected dirty business talk to turn me on,” I said. “But I accept your offer.”

  She grinned, then pulled my already hard cock free. Watching her study it for a moment before taking it in her mouth gave me goose bumps. She felt so unbelievably good. Her lips were so warm, and her hot tongue slid across my crown, making my knees nearly give out.

  I gripped her hair and watched, transfixed, as she bobbed her head back and forth. She’d occasionally open her eyes to gaze up at me, and those moments of eye contact were enough to nearly push me over the edge.

  “I want to come inside you again,” I said, pulling her back.