The Relic Box Set

by Ben Zackheim

  All of this pain for a relic.

  “You’d better get that back to its owner,” she said.

  “Baldr,” I said.

  She just shrugged her shoulders.

  “Where’s your hand?” she asked, her eyes going wide as she noticed my bloody stump for the first time.

  “It’s around,” I said. “Outside, I think.” I passed her, headed back to the entrance. The world needed saving, after all.

  “You’re odd,” she said.

  “You’re the one hanging out in a tunnel of light.”

  “She’s more than a tunnel of light, silly. Can you do me a favor?”

  “Sure.”

  “Tell my sister, I look forward to seeing her soon.”

  “Who’s your sister?” I asked, but the girl was gone before I could finish the sentence.

  The light of the tunnel started to fade.

  I closed my eyes and hoped to Thor that I could open the Vault Portal from the inside.

  I felt the cool high desert air sweep over my face as the portal opened.

  I stepped out, holding on tight to the shield with my only hand.

  Chapter 46

  Every stumbling step I took toward Baldr took a hundred years off of his face. By the time I handed it to him, he was the healthiest I’d ever seen.

  And as his fist tightened around the grip of his shield the air around us eased. It was as if a weight had been lifted from the world. The bright, cold flame coming from Old Man Gloom died down to almost nothing.

  The Ley Lines were free of the shield’s power. But I knew this wasn’t the last we’d hear about them. If my portals were connected to the Ley Lines then I had to know more. The idea of being linked to something that could tear the world apart? Not fun.

  And the girl. I needed to find out who she was. Who was her sister and how did the girl know me?

  I shook off the thoughts and focused on the moment. There was a lot to do before we could head home and clean ourselves up.

  For one, I had to get Cannon off of that bullet. I didn’t want to but he probably had info we needed.

  Two, what the hell were we going to do with a floating, frozen Bonehead?

  I did everything I could to not look at Fox’s body, or at Rebel who sat by him and watched the people below. A few of them had woken up from their dementia.

  Rebel wouldn’t meet my eyes.

  “I know why you did it,” Baldr said, loud enough for Rebel to hear. “This man, Cannon, was about to win the world. But you knew the pride of Odin and Merlin would never let Lancelot and me die by someone else’s hand. You killed us to force their hands. They had no choice but to intervene, ruled by their pride as they are.”

  “I didn’t know Odin could bring you back,” I said. “You know that too, right?”

  “I know,” Baldr said. “I wish I still was dead. I almost got back to Sarah. I could feel her.”

  “She’s in Valhalla?”

  “She is,” he said with a smile. “Though I wish she’d chosen Hel. It’s more interesting.”

  “So I hear.”

  “I should go find Odin before he comes to his senses,” Baldr said.

  “What will you do?” I asked.

  “Go with him,” Baldr said. “It was a foolish quest I embarked upon. Sometimes we are destined to be part of something bigger than ourselves. I don’t think I’m cut out to be mortal. Or immortal. Perhaps I’ll find an answer in Asgard.”

  “If you ever want to visit Valhalla, I know a shortcut,” I said. The whole team had found a door to Valhalla and Hel at Hell’s Gate in Iceland.

  “Do you now?” Baldr said, laying a hand on my shoulder and smiling. “Why am I not surprised? I will take you up on that offer once I find out what Odin plans for me, my friend”

  “Good luck, Baldr,” I said. “Put in a good word for us. We could use a nap.”

  He smiled and glanced down at Rebel and said, softly, “Do not waste too much of your time, mortal.”

  As he walked up the hill, the lights all around us flashed on and the park lit. More people were starting to wake up. They looked around like they didn’t know how they’d gotten there.

  Then the cries began. Men, women, and children let out wails of pain that rolled over the hills like a storm.

  They could remember.

  We didn’t think about that.

  We’d saved them from madness but we couldn’t spare them the memory of it.

  “It’s okay,” I yelled. I raised my arms and walked up to a couple of people. “It’ll be okay.”

  I don’t think anyone heard me.

  The screams got louder and louder as more people woke up.

  “SHUT UP!” a voice boomed from all around us.

  Merlin stood in the middle of the mob. The park went silent. But not from his command.

  From his spell.

  His wand was raised and a dull green haze enveloped everyone’s face.

  “Let them go, Merlin,” I said. I raised my gun and pointed it right between his eyes. One of them was bleeding but I could see it healing right before my eyes.

  “Oh, relax, boy,” he said. He put his wand away in his cloak and everyone dropped to the grass again. “They’re asleep. When they wake up they won’t remember anything. You’re welcome.”

  He walked up to Fox and looked down at his corpse.

  “The undead is dead at last,” Merlin said with a sigh. “You did him a favor you know? He wanted out of this place for a long time. Now he’s at peace.”

  “Can’t you do something?” I asked. “Odin brought Baldr back.”

  “Odin is a god. I’m a man. I could give you your hand back, though.”

  “Really?”

  “No,” he said and he laughed as he bent over to pick up Fox.

  “I look forward to our rematch, girl,” the wizard said. “I won’t let you sneak up on me next time.”

  Merlin turned his back on us, took two steps and disappeared into a shadow.

  Rebel didn’t budge. She didn’t take her eyes off of the spot she’d been looking at for a long time.

  I followed her stare.

  She was watching Cannon die.

  He was still hanging ten feet off the ground. The bullet’s slow path through his mouth would take hours, maybe even a day. The pain on his face made it clear that he was feeling every second of it in excruciating slow motion.

  “We should save him,” I said as I sat down next to Rebel on the hill.

  She kept staring.

  “He probably has a lot of plans we should know about,” I said.

  Nothing.

  “I’ll do it,” I said and started to stand.

  “Leave him,” she said. “Just for a minute.”

  I sighed and sat back down next to her. The flame behind us was settling down. It made our shadows on the hill look like they were dancing to a silent beat.

  “I’m sorry about your hand, Kane,” she said, still not looking at me.

  “Maybe Polk can grow one back,” I said with a shrug.

  “He can do that?”

  “Not that I know of. But he’s full of surprises. Look, Rebel, I’m sorry ab...”

  “I understand,” she said. “When you shot Baldr’s head off, I got it. I thought about killing Fox, too.” She pulled out the small stake she kept strapped to her belt. Its shined veneer flashed in the dimming light. “But I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t end him. How fucked up is that?”

  “I get it,” I said.

  “And that’s fucked up too,” she shot back, looking at me at last. “The fact that you get it is not the point of all this, Kane. A few months ago, these Vampires we’re hanging out with would have been long gone. LONG gone. We wouldn’t have let them live past hello if we got the slightest sense they would interfere with our work. Now look at us! We’re like a couple of school kids at our first fucking dance. And you have her blood in you...”

  “Don’t start with that, dammit Rebel. I’m fine.”


  “No. You’re not fine. You’re compromised. And Ronin knows it.”

  “How did she find out?” I asked, knowing the answer.

  “I told her. Like you should have. But you’ve been acting weird lately. I get it. A lot of crap has come down on your head with your parents being involved somehow. Losing your house for a second time. Losing friends. Your hand, dammit. It’s a lot. But you can’t deny it. You can feel her pull on you.”

  I was pissed. I felt like my rage would reignite Old Man Gloom’s fire.

  I stood and walked down the hill.

  “Kane,” Rebel called out.

  Don’t say anything, I thought. Don’t say a word.

  “Fuck off, Rebel,” I said like an idiot.

  I climbed the pile of bloody Blues, avoiding their snapping jaws, and hoisted Cannon’s dangling body off the bullet. With a soft wet sound, the bullet slid out of the roof of his mouth. His wide eyes were still frozen in time. His body was stiff as a board. Tears rolled down his face.

  I dropped him and let him roll down to the ground.

  A Blue grabbed my foot. I glared at him and put all the rage of the night in a mega-stomp into his jaw. My boot snapped it in two.

  I looked up to where Rebel had been.

  She’d fucked off.

  Chapter 47

  I walked through the front door of my empty home.

  The lights were on but only because I’d told my security system to give me a bright greeting.

  I could feel the absence of my team in my chest.

  The twins were being politely poked and prodded in Spirit HQ, along with Bonehead who was no longer frozen but now in a coma.

  I’d ended Fox’s thousand year run. The choice was the right one but that didn’t make it any easier.

  And Rebel was on the down-low. Way down and way low. I had no idea where she was.

  It wasn’t unusual for her to disappear once in awhile after a mission. Especially the tough ones. She was a strong woman, but she needed a break from the grind just like the rest of us.

  This time felt different.

  I felt anger lingering in her absence. It was all over that house.

  And where was Skyler? I didn’t actually care, but he’d been absent for a long time. It made me nervous.

  I threw my keys on the kitchen counter and told the smart kettle to make me some fucking tea.

  “Making fucking tea,” the kettle said back.

  I checked the fridge for food and found food-ish things instead. Mayo. Half a head of lettuce. One bottle of beer.

  Beer salad it was.

  I got out the bottle opener and then remembered I was missing a fucking extremity. I hugged the bottle under my arm and used my one, lonely hand to pop the cap off. I told the house to screw the tea. I told it I’d found a beer. I don’t think the house gave a crap that I’d found a beer.

  I plodded my way to the library and called out for Lucas, the demon librarian. I knew he wasn’t there but I had to say something. The quiet was driving me nuts. I could order him to show up. He’d have to come if I ordered him to. But that felt cheap.

  The stump hurt. The slightest movement made a wave of dull pain flood over my arm.

  But I swear I could still feel the hand. My brain sent signals to it. Small signals. Things I never would have been conscious of before Santa Fe. But now that the signals had nowhere real to go, I felt every single one like it was a dead friend.

  I dropped into one of the chairs near the fireplace and listened to nothing while I drank bad beer and tore off a sour piece of lettuce with my teeth.

  I felt a pity party coming so I decided to cut my losses and call it a day. Mission accomplished. World saved from crazy fascist, big-boom magic powers, and indifferent gods.

  Yay us.

  I put the half-empty beer bottle on the coffee table. I’d throw it away in the morning. Something to do.

  The glass touched the stone top with a clink and I froze.

  I didn’t feel so lonely anymore.

  Someone was in the room with me.

  I reached for my Glocks and remembered that I only had one hand now.

  I reached for one Glock.

  I spotted a shadow near the fireplace. I turned and aimed.

  “I’ve got my silver, wood, holy water ammo loaded up. Doesn’t matter who you are. You’ll die if you don’t show yourself in three seconds. Two. One.”

  “It’s me, moron,” Skyler said.

  Did I know it was Skyler when I shot him? I don’t really know the answer to that but I shot him. Gut shot. Painful stuff.

  “Jesus, Kane, what the fuck?” the old man said, keeling over and holding his guts in.

  “What do you want?” I asked, slipping the gun back in its holster and grabbing my beer. I guessed the night wasn’t over yet.

  “Hello to you, too, asshole,” he said, backing up as if he were going to sit in one of my chairs. “So it’s true about your hand. Drag.”

  “Stop!” I yelled. “Don’t bleed on my chair. You can just, I don’t know, bleed right over there. A little bit to the left would be good so you’re not so close to the rug.” He moved a little to the left.

  “You said there was special ammo in that gun,” he said. “But I don’t feel any pain.”

  “I lied.”

  “HA! I taught you well.”

  I let the room go silent. I knelt down and stacked three logs in a pyramid in the fireplace. Not easy with one hand.

  “You didn’t teach me at all,” I said.

  I lit a match on the stone hearth and held it under the grate. The heat on my fingertips felt good.

  “That’s because you’re a stubborn son of a bitch,” he said.

  “That’s not why.” I stood to face him. He was already standing straight. I should have sensed something was wrong but I was too angry. “You didn’t teach me because you’re not a teacher. You’re a player. You have some grand plan to do something big. You’re up to something. I’ve known it for a long time.”

  His silence was all I needed to know I was right.

  But the expression on his face was odd. It was like fear and pleasure were getting it on in a dark alley.

  “You came to kill me tonight,” I said.

  Silence.

  I pulled my gun again and aimed it at his heart. I couldn’t kill him with that ammo but I could neutralize him long enough to load up the wood bullets.

  But he was behind me before I could pull the trigger.

  One of his arms wrapped around my neck and the other one had its fingernails digging into my ribs.

  I could feel his fingers break the flesh.

  Our years-long game of not killing each other was over.

  I smelled his Vampire breath and felt the cold tips of his teeth clamp down on my neck.

  “Motherthucker!” he yelled. He pulled away from me and bent over. He held his mouth in his hand. “Thuck!”

  His front fangs had cracked off.

  They’d broken on my neck.

  I shot him in the ass.

  “DAMMIT! STOP IT!” he cried.

  I felt around my neck for a puncture wound but it was fine.

  He fell to the floor and held up his hand in surrender. It felt good to see him like that, I have to say.

  “Ronin ordered me to try to kill you,” he said.

  “Bullshit.”

  “Okay, you’re right.”

  “Who then?”

  “Ronin and the emperor ordered me to try to kill you. Separately, not together. Don’t look at me like that. It’s true. They wanted to test a theory.”

  “What the fuck are you talking about? What theory?”

  “On your last mission in the arena in Valhalla, I was there,” he said. “I saw the Vampire queen appear behind Rebel with her blade. I watched Rebel’s body swap places with the elf in an instant. Just poof. By the time the queen’s blade cut across the jugular it was his neck being opened up.”

  Tabitha had told me the same thing. She’d
wanted to kill Rebel but Coleslaw was the one who had ended up dead.

  “He was a Traveler’s Friend,” I said.

  “What?”

  “You called him an elf. The elf wasn’t an elf. He was a Traveler’s Friend. He was my friend.”

  “Whatever,” he said. “You should be dead, too. In Santa Fe, Rebel saw you get bit by Blues twice from behind on the neck. Attacks that should have ripped your throat out. But you didn’t even notice. She said their heads bounced off of your neck like rubber balls.”

  That would explain the Blues who attacked me in the kitchen. I’d assumed that Rebel saved me but...

  It would also explain what Tabitha had told me in the Chrysler Building.

  You and Rebel are linked somehow, Kane. If your bond can defy one of Merlin’s spells then you’re under the protection of a very powerful force.

  “You’d better not be screwing with me, Skyler,” I said, aiming at his feet. “I’m tired of the games.”

  He didn’t plead this time.

  “No,” he said. He sounded tired. “No more games.” He slid to the couch and leaned on its armrest. He laid his head back and stared at the ceiling.

  I waited.

  “I don’t know what’s going on, Kane. It’s bigger than me. I have my suspicions, but...” He stopped.

  I couldn’t give him any time to lie.

  “Talk,” I said.

  “I think you and Rebel share fates,” he said. “I think you have a destiny and nothing will keep you from it. Nothing. Not a bullet, or a Vampire’s fangs, or a nuclear bomb. I think your deaths are foretold and until the moment comes, you’ll survive. One way or another, you’ll survive. You’ll swap places with an innocent. Your neck will deflect Vampire fangs. Who knows?”

  Then it hit me like a Dino punch.

  “The Vault Portal,” I said.

  “What do you mean?”

  “In Tibet,” I said. “Rebel should have been killed by that car explosion. But she wasn’t. She was thrown into my Vault Portal.”

  Skyler’s eyes went wide. “Holy shit, yeah.”

  A crap load of walls were coming down around me. I felt like an amateur again.

  I needed Skyler to explain everything. Old habits die hard. Old habits die hardly at all.