Becoming Bodhisattvas

by Pema Chodron

  Their sand castles come crumbling down.

  Our minds are so like them

  When praise and reputation start to fail.

  Life is transitory and passes quickly. People who’ve come close to death report seeing their whole lives flash before their eyes. We invest so much energy into getting people to admire us, but our reputations, like everything else, are as impermanent as sand castles, and attachment to them causes so much unnecessary pain.

  There’s a Charlie Brown cartoon that shows Lucy building an elaborate sand castle, saying proudly, “And a thousand years from now, people will see what I did here today and be totally amazed.” It’s this nonsensical attitude that Shantideva addresses here.

  Better to regard yourself as a character in a play. You can take the part of a person who’s famous or admired, without taking this identity too seriously. If praise and reputation are as fragile as sand castles, it’s realistic to not be disturbed when they pass away with the changing tides. Then you can build a magnificent sand castle, covered with beautiful shells and stones. You can even get people to help you and enjoy it thoroughly, and when the waves come in, out it goes.

  The creation of Tibetan sand mandalas exemplifies this process. These ceremonial mandalas require days of attentive work. At the end of the ritual, however, they are respectfully wiped away. The sand is placed in a bowl and returned to the sea, and nothing at all remains.

  Once I was watching a TV documentary on Tibetan monks making a sand mandala. My friend was mesmerized by the beauty of the mandala, but knew nothing of how the ceremony ended. When the mandala was ultimately destroyed, I was unfazed, but she became almost hysterical with shock and disbelief. Understanding the impermanent nature of our lives is one key to equanimity.

  6.94

  Short-lived sound, devoid of intellect,

  Can never in itself intend to praise us.

  “But it’s the joy that others take in me,” you say—

  Are these the shoddy causes of your pleasure?

  6.95

  What is it to me if others should delight

  In someone else, or even in myself?

  Their pleasure’s theirs, and theirs alone.

  What part of it could be for my enjoyment?

  6.96

  If I am happy at the joy of those who take delight,

  Then everyone should be a source of joy to me.

  Why, when glory goes elsewhere,

  Am I not happy with this cause of happiness?

  6.97

  The satisfaction that is mine

  From thinking “I am being praised,”

  Is unacceptable to common sense,

  And nothing but the silly ways of children.

  In these four verses, Shantideva makes an important point. The many reasons we come up with to justify our need for praise are, in fact, just food for self-importance. Eventually we become enslaved by our childish craving for validation. Shantideva says that these hollow words are just short-lived sound, and it’s silly to take them so seriously.

  If we claim that our satisfaction comes not from being complimented but from bringing others the happiness of appreciating us, that reasoning is definitely “shoddy.” First of all, pleasure is not transferable; secondly, if our bodhisattva motivation is to make others happy, why aren’t we pleased when these same folks express appreciation for our enemy?

  6.98

  Praise and compliments disturb me,

  Sapping my revulsion with samsara.

  I start to covet others’ qualities,

  And thus all excellence degenerates.

  In verse 98, Shantideva concludes this section with three reasons why it’s futile to continually seek confirmation. First, we become dependent on praise and compliments, relying on the whims of other people’s opinions to feel good about ourselves.

  Second, too much admiration saps our revulsion with samsara. If we do manage to become esteemed and respected, we might start believing this feel-good state is equivalent to lasting happiness. We might kid ourselves into thinking we don’t have any more foibles to work on, not even humility.

  Third, our envy of others’ good qualities increases. We may think we no longer need compliments, but watch out! When the praise we’ve gotten used to goes to someone else, envy can kick in. This is a warning sign alerting us to a blind spot.

  6.99

  Those who stay close by me, then,

  To ruin my good name and cut me down to size

  Are surely there protecting me

  From falling into ruin in the realms of sorrow.

  With verse 99, Shantideva starts a section on the value of troublemakers. Considering that he lived in a monastery where he was widely disrespected, this may have been one of his principle practices. He probably had ample opportunity to apply the advice he gives here.

  Those who give us a hard time, who are difficult to be around or who constantly blow our cover, are the very ones who show us where we we’re stuck. The great meditation master Atisha always traveled with his belligerent Bengali tea-boy because it kept him honest. Without his ill-tempered servant to test him, he might have been able to deceive himself about his degree of equanimity. Troublemakers up the ante: if we can practice patience with them, we can practice it with anyone.

  6.100

  For I am one who strives for freedom—

  I must not be caught by wealth and honors.

  How could I be angry with the ones

  Who work to loose me from my fetters?

  6.101

  They, like Buddha’s very blessing,

  Bar my way, determined as I am

  To plunge myself headlong in sorrow:

  How could I be angry with them?

  The next time you’re irked, see if you can remember this logic: troublemakers show us things we don’t want to see. They show us how we get trapped and continually create our own sorrow. Even the Buddhas could not bestow a greater blessing!

  6.102

  We should not be angry, saying,

  “They are obstacles to virtue.”

  Is not patience the supreme austerity,

  And is this not my chosen discipline?

  Rather than considering troublemakers obstacles to virtue, we can see them as enhancements, the very means by which we learn to practice patience.

  6.103

  If I fail to practice patience,

  Hindered by my own deficiency,

  I am myself the obstacle to gaining

  Merit, yet so close at hand.

  When we lose our temper, it’s a wake-up call: “Oh no! I just did it again!” Using levity instead of guilt, we can find the humor in the situation and go forward with a light heart because of what we’ve learned.

  We should all expect relapses. No one ever said this unwinding of old patterns would be quick or easy. Better to simply acknowledge we’re still provokable and not blame it on somebody else.

  6.104

  For nothing comes except through other factors,

  And comes to be, those factors being present.

  If one thing is the cause of something else,

  How could it then be said to hinder it?

  Developing patience depends upon having someone to provoke us. Because of his tea-boy, Atisha developed the ability to stay relaxed and awake even in the most provoking situations. So how can we say that our enemies and troublemakers are hindrances? Without them, we would never have the opportunity to practice nonaggression.

  6.105

  The beggars who arrive at proper times

  Are not an obstacle to generosity.

  We cannot say that those who give the vows

  Are causi
ng hindrances to ordination!

  When we want to take monastic ordination, we need a preceptor to make it possible. When we want to practice generosity, panhandlers provide the opportunity. When we want to practice patience, there’s no way to do so without troublemakers! Again, Shantideva uses humor to make his point.

  6.106

  The beggars in this world are many,

  Attackers are comparatively few.

  For as I do no harm to others,

  Those who do me injury are rare.

  This is the bodhisattva’s dilemma: we would like to practice patience, but by doing so, fewer and fewer people irritate us. Those who do me injury are harder to find and opportunities for practice are rare!

  6.107

  So like a treasure found at home,

  Enriching me without fatigue,

  All enemies are helpers in my bodhisattva work

  And therefore they should be a joy to me.

  The next time you’re provoked by someone, pause and say to yourself: “Like a treasure found at home, enriching me without fatigue, you, my dear troublemaker, are the means by which a confused person like me will attain enlightenment.” Even if it’s not that convincing at first, this kind of thinking does a lot to deflate aggression.

  6.108

  The fruits of patience are for them and me,

  For both of us have brought it into being.

  And yet to them they must be offered first,

  For of my patience they have been the cause.

  What happens if you’re confronted by someone who is always angry, and you don’t retaliate? One, you don’t fuel his anger. Two, you have the chance to practice patience and loving-kindness.

  Therefore both of you bring this benefit into being: you, by being less reactive; and the angry person by giving you this opportunity. And so the fruits of patience are reaped by both of you. The merit, however, should be offered first to the one who provokes you. Because he was the cause of your patience, you gratefully wish him good fortune.

  We might wonder if our practice of patience can actually save someone from his own karmic consequences. If not reinforcing his aggression helps him to pause and calm down, then the answer is definitely “yes, we can help someone escape from anger.”

  On the other hand, if he keeps getting worked up, the answer is “no, our patience doesn’t help him at all.” But even then we can say to ourselves: “May this connection between us, as unpleasant as it is, be the cause of our attaining enlightenment together.” In this way, he will benefit in either case and so, of course, will we.

  6.109

  Yet if I say my foe should not be praised

  Since he did not intend to stimulate my patience,

  Why do I revere the sacred Doctrine,

  Cause indeed of my attainment?

  Many of us won’t readily buy into Shantideva’s reasoning. Why should we wish good fortune to our foes? Why be grateful to those who hurt us and certainly have no intention of stimulating our patience?

  To this Shantideva replies, “Why then would you revere the sacred Doctrine? The dharma is just ‘words,’ with no more intention of stimulating your patience than your angry foes.”

  To determine what’s worthy of your gratitude, look to the final result. What is the outcome of these dharmic words, or this encounter with an angry foe? If it’s patience, we could be grateful to both of them. Instead of saying, “My boss didn’t intend to make me patient, so he doesn’t deserve my praise,” we can say, “He didn’t intend this, but I became more patient anyway. Therefore I’m grateful.”

  6.110

  “This enemy conspired to harm me,” I protest,

  “And therefore should receive no honors.”

  But had he worked to help me, like a doctor,

  How could I have brought forth patience?

  Dzigar Kongtrul uses the expression “the illogical logic of self-importance.” Shantideva’s reasoning may sometimes be hard to accept, but does our usual logic of retaliation and spite make more sense?

  We may protest cultivating patience toward those with malicious intentions. But Shantideva responds with this clever analogy: when a doctor helps us it may be painful, but we don’t get angry because we know the pain will benefit us in the end. Couldn’t we take this same attitude toward the pain caused by troublemakers? They, too, benefit us by giving us the opportunity to practice patience. If they had intentionally set out to help us, like a doctor, we wouldn’t have this chance to heal our anger.

  6.111

  Because of those whose minds are full of anger,

  I engender patience in myself.

  They are thus the cause of patience,

  Fit for veneration, like the Doctrine.

  Shantideva concludes this section with a summary: because our enemies bring us benefit, they are as worthy of veneration as the dharma. If you’ve ever wondered about the mahayana teaching “Be grateful to everyone,” these lines are an excellent commentary.

  6.112

  The worlds of beings are a buddhafield,

  Thus the Mighty Lord has taught.

  For many who have sought the happiness of others

  Have gone beyond, attaining to perfection.

  6.113

  Thus the state of buddhahood depends

  On beings and the buddhas equally.

  By what tradition is it then

  That buddhas, but not beings, are revered?

  In these verses, Shantideva makes the remarkable statement that sentient beings like us are as worthy of veneration as fully awakened buddhas. When we hold sentient beings as the object of our practice—be it the practice of patience, compassion, generosity, or loving-kindness—they become the cause of our enlightenment, equal in value to the buddhas.

  6.114

  Their aims are not, of course, the same,

  But it is by their fruits that we should know them.

  And so we see the excellence of beings—

  Beings and the buddhas are indeed the same!

  It is tempting to dispute this teaching. Sentient beings are, after all, confused and self-absorbed; buddhas are completely sane. But Shantideva reiterates his previous point: it is by their fruits that we should know them. Since we constantly interact with each other and we rarely encounter a fully awakened buddha, then maybe sentient beings offer us even more opportunities for liberation!

  6.115

  Offerings made to one who loves

  Reveal the eminence of living beings.

  Merit that accrues from faith in Buddha

  Reveals in turn the Buddha’s eminence.

  The one who loves refers to someone who has loving-kindness and compassion for everyone. To make offerings to such an evolved person reveals the eminence of living beings. Why is this so? It is because of the work they did with sentient beings—difficult, suffering beings like you and me—that this person’s awakening occurred. Thus the eminence of living beings is as great as the eminence of the buddhas.

  6.116

  Since they are both the means of winning buddhahood,

  We say that beings are the same as buddhas,

  Even though they are not equal

  In the boundless ocean of a buddha’s merits.

  6.117

  Yet if a tiny part of that great merit

  Were found to be contained in certain beings’ hearts,

  The three worlds made in offering to them

  Would be a slight, a very little thing.

  Certainly the enlightened ones have a great deal more merit and wakefulness available to them than you or I. But even the littlest bit of merit or wakefulness makes us worthy of unlimited offerings. The slightest recognit
ion of bodhichitta, the slightest willingness to enter the bodhisattva path, makes us as worthy of offerings as the buddhas. I find these very encouraging words.

  6.118

  A share in bringing forth the supreme state of buddhahood

  Is thus possessed by everyone.

  This demonstrates the reason why

  They are the proper object of my reverence.

  Verse 118 is a concise summary of this section. The word everyone is important here: everyone shares in bringing forth the supreme state of buddhahood. And everyone, of course, includes us.

  6.119

  As buddhas are my constant friends,

  Boundless in the benefits they bring to me,

  How else may I repay their goodness,

  But by making living beings happy?

  6.120

  By helping beings we repay the ones

  Who gave themselves for us and plunged into the hells.

  Should beings therefore do great harm to me,

  I’ll strive to bring them only benefit.

  In verses 119 through 127, Shantideva gives tenderhearted advice on repaying the kindness of our teachers. These are the people who show us a bigger perspective and try to keep us on track. How do we repay their kindness? We do it, Shantideva says, by being patient with one another.

  On an everyday level, other people do so much to save us from suffering. Even if we don’t have a dharma teacher, we know what it is to be benefited by family, friends, or even strangers. There are people willing to go through personal inconvenience and pain to help us. And Shantideva is saying that now we can repay them, by treating each other with loving-kindness.

  6.121

  For if the ones who are my lords and teachers,

  For beings’ sake are careless even of their bodies,

  Why should I, a fool, behave with such conceit?

  Why should I not become the slave of others?