Heartbeat Echoes

by Brittany Yeats

  “There may be some slight truth to me still loving you. But it is so pale and weak compared to what I feel for Joshua. There is no contest between you two. He wins everything.” Melissa heard a sound behind her and spun around, expecting one of Christian’s friends or even her brother to grab her so Christian could take her away. To her horror, Joshua stepped out from the back entrance of the kitchen. His expression was completely unreadable. When Melissa made a move to go to Joshua, he held up a hand.

  “What do you mean you still love him? How can that be possible? You came to me so broken and what’s grown between us has no room for another man in it.”

  Melissa felt every organ inside her tighten in fear.

  “Of course, Joshua. I know that. There is no one else but you. I love you.”

  Joshua had no way of knowing that Melissa had said those words to only two other people outside of her family and how important they were to her. He did not at all look convinced that she was being sincere.

  “I just heard you say you still love Christian. It does not matter that what you feel for me is different. He is still in between us. What can that mean for our future?” Joshua backed away when Melissa reached for him and swore he felt his own heart crack at the look on her face. “Make a choice, Melissa. I am done dealing with this sick game of tug-of-war you are playing.” He turned and walked from the room, ignoring the crack he heard from Melissa’s heart.

  Melissa found herself once again abandoned. The mallet felt out of her hand with a clatter to the tile floor. With not a thought to her dress, Melissa sank to the kitchen floor and waged a furious war with herself to keep her composure. Watching Joshua walk away felt like a knife to the throat.

  Liz and Anna rushed in and both froze at the sight of Melissa on the floor choking back sobs.

  When Melissa looked up to see her mother, her vision went bright red. She jumped to her feet and rushed at her mother.

  “THIS IS ENTIRELY YOUR FAULT, YOU MEDDLING PAIN IN MY ASS. What is the major malfunction you have with my love life? All you do is ruin it over and over and over again. I had things perfect with Christian. Living the life of sin and splendor and you fill his head with marriage and housewife bullshit. I pick myself up from that debacle and I stumble on Joshua and he’s exactly what I want.

  “I even was coming around to getting married and giving you your damn wedding and you throw a wrench into that with Christian. I cannot take this anymore. I cannot take you anymore. I have no idea why I thought you coming here to see how amazing I have made this company would change how you look at me.

  “I am successful and it has nothing to do with a man. I did it on my own for me. I no longer want contact with you or Conner. I want you both of you to leave. Immediately. Liz, find Lynn and tell her to have security escort my mother, Conner and Christian out of the event.” Melissa sailed out of the room, riding high on fury.

  To her outrageous relief, the models were still making rounds and no one had noticed she was gone. She began to mingle and make sure everything was as normal as she could make it. As soon as she was able to get away, she was going to find Joshua and straighten things out.

  ~ ~ ~

  The drive back to her home was a complete blur. From the moment she stepped out of the kitchen, really, Melissa did not have a strong grasp on what had gone on. One thing she could say was that the night had accomplished almost exactly what she had wanted. Lynn was texting Melissa every few minutes with updates about the results of the evening.

  Already, Melissa’s sales department was getting bombarded with requests from every major retailer to carry her line of clothing. All the trendy little boutiques in New York and Paris wanted their fair share of her designs. Lynn could barely keep up with the onslaught of information. Melissa went a little crazy and told Lynn to put her phone away for the rest of the night. Melissa could not keep her mind of the event and did not feel like being updated every three minutes about it. All she wanted to do was get out of her dress and find a spot to think.

  “God, I can hear your brain crunching. ‘Where is he? What is he thinking? What am I going to say?’ I feel like drugging you so you’ll actually go to sleep.” Liz sounded as exasperated as Melissa felt.

  “How else am I supposed to think, mind reader? Tonight was both success and horror. What the hell was she thinking?”

  Melissa still could not come up with a rational answer for that question. She wanted to bolt from the house and climb her California tree. To feel its heartbeat and find some peace to clear her mind and think about what she wanted for her future. Instead, Melissa climbed her porch steps as the limo glided away, not ready to explore the tree in the backyard. The house was dark and felt empty. Melissa sensed immediately that Joshua had not come back here, but instead must have gone to the hotel where the rest of his things were. Melissa hoped the morning would not be too late.

  Melissa turned and ascended the grand staircase to her bedroom. She got as far as the closet before she sensed another presence in the room. Anna was sitting on the window seat, still dressed fancy and looking quietly enraged.

  “You’re kidding, right? I had you thrown out for a reason. I want you gone in the next sixty seconds. I need some serious time away from you.” Melissa continued into her closet, not really caring that her mother obviously had something to say.

  “You will come in here and sit down and listen to me or so help me I’ll—”

  Melissa came back in in such a whirl of emotion and fabric. “You’ll what exactly? Ground me? Take away my phone, my car, and my social privileges? Seriously, wake up, Mother. I am no longer dependent on you so therefore I do not under any circumstances have to listen to you. This property is entitled in my name and I want you off of it. I have never been so mad at one person before. It is literally causing me pain.”

  Anna came off the window bench and stopped a foot from Melissa’s face.

  “I will have my say. I raised you, and I know what’s best for your future. You have fought me every day of your life about that and I am sick of hearing how all it has been is meddling and how you want me to back off. Wait ’til you have children and they tell you to back off when all you want to do is make sure they are successful in everything they do. To see them be happy in all things and believing that that happiness starts from finding love and making a family. Why is wanting to see you settled so horrible?”

  “You literally have not heard a word I have ever said to you. It has never been the damn message that you’ve been sending. I agree with you. There is a lot of happiness in life when you find love. I just have no inclination to run down the aisle now that I’ve found it.”

  “Why?” The amount of annoyed frustration in the tone of that one whispered word told Melissa that she and her mother would never see eye-to-eye about her life.

  “There’s no point explaining it to you again. You refuse to understand and just think you are right and that you’ll always be right when it comes to decisions about my life. I have had a very long day. I am going to finish getting ready for bed and think about what I can do to find and fix things with Joshua.” Melissa turned on her heel and walked into her closet. The closet door clicking shut was like a cannon shot through Anna’s heart. Anna did not know it, but it was the first time in all her unwanted involvement in Melissa’s life that she might have actually been wrong.

  ~ ~ ~

  Melissa was pacing her bedroom for the millionth time. Sleep was an absolute joke. She didn’t know where Joshua was, the fight with her mother had led to a horrible crying jag that left her with a wicked headache. All she wanted was the sweet oblivion of sleep, but as the sun slashed through her window, she knew it was not going to come.

  Needing something to do, Melissa decided to make breakfast. She began to rifle through the cabinets and came up with absolutely nothing. Apparently neither she nor Liz had
decided to go and get actual food for the house. Since she had a crazy yen for strawberry pancakes, Melissa grabbed her purse and left to walk to the market down the road.

  When Melissa took a second to focus on her surroundings, it looked as if she was in a painting. The morning sun was shining off charming, old-world houses, the flowers were still covered in morning dew, making them look like they were sparkling. On one balcony, a fat grey and white cat was lying with its belly to the sun, not caring about anything in the world. The only sign it was even alive was a slight swish of its tail as it dreamed.

  Her surroundings made Melissa pause in the middle of her own personal turmoil and remember that she had accomplished the biggest goal she had ever set for herself. Everyone wanted something she created. She was a sensation and it did not matter in the least that she didn’t have a ring on her finger. Suddenly, Melissa felt lighter. The realization that she could do things on her own was a sweet one. There was also a sudden understanding that a man wouldn’t cripple her. Maybe her mother wasn’t completely wrong after all.

  The market was quiet so early in the morning and Melissa was extremely pleased to have all the stalls and all the freshest products available. Usually, when she showed up to the market the stalls were left with the children of the family who were beyond boredom and didn’t haggle or care if you were a human or an alien and the offerings were slim.

  Melissa didn’t know where to start. She opened the huge canvas sack that was used for market day and began to take in all the scents and colors around her. She gleefully haggled over bright, fat strawberries, juicy tomatoes, a sack of freshly ground flour, and every other item she loaded into the bag. It was exciting to be able to get exactly what she was in the mood for.

  The cat from earlier had been brought over by the noise from Melissa’s laughter and wound through Melissa’s legs, looking for something to fall from Melissa’s bag. Grinning, Melissa crouched down to let the cat sniff the contents. Not one to miss an opportunity, the cat smooshed herself in among the apples and mangos. Melissa laughed louder and decided to roll with the way her morning was going.

  “Your mother never did let you have pets. I remember one night a dog had followed us when we met up at the pier. You gave that mutt the best dinner of his life.”

  “She was too fussy about her house and how it had to stay perfect all the time.” Melissa stood and turned to face Christian. “What happened to your face?”

  Christian looked like he had been on the receiving end of a battering ram. “Imagine my surprise when I walk into my hotel’s quiet little bar and see your boyfriend—”

  “Joshua! You know where he is? What hotel are you at? Wait, you guys pounded on each other, didn’t you? Jesus, why are men so stupid?”

  Christian said nothing as first. He could point out her favorite joke of men not having enough blood to work both heads, but it didn’t seem the time.

  “I have never seen one man so pissed off about anything than me possibly coming between the two of you. He starts yelling that I need to back off and your two are destined and to just get out of your life and I just could not take any more so I threw a punch to shut him up and it turned into us rolling around the bar, beating each other to a pulp.

  Then we picked each other up off the floor and got rip-roaring drunk and compared notes about you. Needless to say, that man loves you like you have never been loved before. I have come to the conclusion that what I felt for you would have led to a divorce in two years. I knew you would be here because you like to cook when you’re pissy and you like everything fresh, so not only am I bowing out, but—”

  Christian stepped out of the way and reveled an equally beaten-up-looking Joshua standing near the coconuts.

  Melissa felt tears sting her eyes and did her very best to sniff them back. She rushed into his arms and gingerly kissed him. The cat meowed from the back, disturbed by the sudden movement. Melissa scratched his ears and the cat settled back to napping. Melissa sucked in a breath to pour out her heart and Joshua put a finger on her lips.

  “It’s a different kind of love. It took a lot of fists, half a bottle of whiskey, and the world’s most ridiculously horrendous hangover to get that what you had with Chris is different than what you have with me. Please don’t cry.”

  Tears were unabashedly running down Melissa’s face, being completely ignored by her but making the men very uncomfortable. Rolling her eyes, she wiped her face off and did her best to sniffle back the worst of the storm.

  “You’ve said no to Christian twice. I’m hoping I’ll have a better outcome.”

  Melissa had a sudden look of horror on her face.

  “I’m not even going to get down on one knee when your face looks like that. Why can’t I ask you to be mine? Why does this put the same look on your face as when my mother cooked codfish cakes and all my friends were at summer camp so I had to choke them down?”

  “Why is it so difficult to understand that I don’t want to get married right now? And you can say all you want that we’re going to be just getting engaged but you know for a fact that we’ll be married in six months after the general gets wind of it. My mother,” Melissa clarified at Joshua’s blank look. “There is so much life to live together before we sign a piece of paper that makes us legal a part of each other. Let’s travel around the world and fight about politics and ride an elephant and swim with sea turtles. I want to expand my company and experience Liz’s first doctor breakdown. What if she has it while we’re on our honeymoon?”

  Joshua looked so mad he could have shaken Melissa. He put the ring box back in his pocket, turned on his heel, and grabbed a slice of coconut on his way out of the market.

  Melissa felt her heart crack into so many pieces she wondered if she could put it back together.

  “What the actual hell is wrong with you, Mel? Jesus, how many times can you kick a guy before you’re satisfied that he’s broken? That man would crawl over broken glass that’s on fire for you and you threw it back in his face. I don’t get it. Good luck with the lonely nights ahead of you.” Christian grabbed a slice of his own and began his walk back to the hotel.

  Melissa looked down at the cat purring in his sleep and wondered how her perfect morning had been turned so thoroughly sour. She began her own walk toward home when a small voice stopped her.

  “You’re making a mistake. You don’t know you’re wrong and you think you’re protecting yourself, but you’re only hurting yourself more by saying no.”

  Melissa searched for the voice and found it coming from the oldest woman Melissa had ever seen. She was sitting on a stool next to the coconut stand that Joshua and Christian had taken from and looked extremely mystical. Her hair was the purest white snow, pulled back tight from her thin face in a bun on top of her head. Her eyes were the pure brown of a rich candy bar behind glasses so thick they looked like the bottom of a well-made snifter. She was dressed as every other vendor in the square, a boxy black skirt with a white shirt covered in pink and purple flowers tucked into the waist. She had an apron covering her clothes, the unofficial market-day uniform.

  Normally, Melissa would have scoffed and moved on, however this woman looked like she had some serious insight to give and Melissa was at a point where she was willing to listen. Melissa grabbed her own slice of coconut, paid for the two that had already walked off and found an extra stool, one that was insisting she sit down and pay attention.

  Chapter 14

  “How can choosing to stay alone hurt me? I am questioned by no one. I live for myself and enjoy every minute of it.”

  “What do you come home to at night, child?”

  Melissa’s expression turned pouty. It was as if her mother was disguised and talking to her now.

  “Not to be rude, but you sound like my mother. I come home to my super-tired best friend and the knowledge that I spent the day
doing exactly as I pleased and I didn’t have some over-bearing guy demand where I was or when I was coming home or other strings. This life suits me.”

  “It won’t always. There will come a time when you walk into your dark house and wish someone was there with dinner on the table, a glass of wine to ease your work-weary body, and an ear to listen to all the troubles you went through in the time apart. Sharing is not always a burden.”

  “I’m not saying it’s a burden, I’m saying it’s not something I want to incorporate into my life right now. I also want to know why it has to be right now. What no one is taking into consideration is that I do want all of those things. In like four or five years. When I have things way more settled in all the other areas in my life. Why can’t Joshua just wait?”

  “So you have chosen the man.”

  “What I feel for Joshua is like lightning.” Melissa’s smile turned dreamy. “So bright and bold and life-altering that I could not imagine not having him in my life. It causes me pain, but I cannot deal with all the pressure he is placing on me and he won’t listen.”

  “He will listen. You are not saying the right words. You need to make him see how better your life will be if the two of you are together, just not yet.”

  “Of course, Joshua needs to understand that I want him and no one else, but it’s too quick.”

  The woman just about saw the lightbulb blink on over Melissa’s head.

  “I’ve just been saying no, no, please God no and what I really need to say is yes, darling, just not right now. I will even make him a compromise of getting married sooner than thirty-five. Shit, neither of them told me the hotel they are staying at. Sorry for saying shit, but I feel like I’m on fire.” Melissa rushed off in the direction Joshua and Christian had taken and prayed she saw some hint or clue of where they were staying.