The Morning After the Wedding Before

by Laura Ziepe

  She heard Frankie stir in his bed and he rolled over, squinting his eyes at the light from the outside world shining in.

  ‘What time is it?’ he asked in a groggy, sleepy voice.

  ‘Early,’ Emma told him, pleased he was awake so they could talk.

  He sat up in bed, and Emma couldn’t help but glance at his bare, tanned, toned chest. She longed to go over to him and feel her fingers on his soft skin.

  He breathed out and turned his head to look at her, picking up his mobile to check the time. ‘How are you feeling? Do you remember much about last night?’

  ‘Honestly? Not really, no. I kind of blacked out,’ she told him, feeling ashamed. ‘I know about this though,’ she said, staring at her ring.

  ‘Right,’ he cleared his throat, looking out of his comfort zone. ‘Yes, I’m not really sure what we’re going to do about that. It’s all a bit of a mess, isn’t it?’

  Emma couldn’t agree more. Everything was a complete mess. Did Frankie regret marrying her? He wasn’t exactly in good spirits this morning and Emma felt an overwhelming sense of disappointment. What had she expected? For Frankie to come over and snuggle up to his new wife as though they hadn’t done anything wrong? He had married his cousin’s fiancée. It was hardly something to be proud of and he was obviously feeling incredibly guilty. He and Charlie were so close; they always had been since they were young.

  ‘I’m wondering whether we can go back to the chapel this morning and explain that there’s been a huge mistake. Maybe I can call them?’ he suggested in a sombre tone.

  Emma felt her heart sink. His words were cutting. They hurt. ‘Maybe,’ she managed to reply in a small voice.

  ‘Do you not want to marry Charlie, Em? Is that it?’ he asked with concern.

  Wasn’t it obvious? She’d got drunk and married him. Clearly she didn’t want to marry Charlie.

  ‘I …’ she broke off, unsure what to say and how to act. This was weird. She was sitting in bed next to her new husband and he was asking her whether she wanted to marry someone else.

  ‘It’s normal to have cold feet,’ he reminded her. ‘Last night, you weren’t exactly yourself, were you? I mean, you were so drunk,’ he shook his head, ‘I’m not even sure you knew what your name was. I couldn’t believe they allowed the ceremony to take place in the first place. We may be able to speak to someone and sort all of this out so the wedding can go ahead today. It may not be too late. I’m not certain it was even legal and that’s something we have to find out asap. Charlie loves you. Perhaps there’s a way that he won’t need to find out that any of this ever happened.’

  Why did he want her to marry Charlie so much? Was he afraid of him? She wondered. Emma felt like crying. Why had he married her if he knew how drunk she was? It was so out of character for Frankie, and she couldn’t understand why he was saying these things now. Obviously now he’d woken up, the reality of what they had done had hit him and he was feeling remorseful. She’d hoped he would wake up with plans about how they could run off together and live happily ever after, somehow avoiding Charlie so she wouldn’t have to face him again. Emma was so stupid to even hope that was a possibility.

  She gulped. She wanted more than anything to tell Frankie the truth. She didn’t want him to make any phone calls. She didn’t want him to speak to anyone at the chapel and to tell them it was all a big mistake. No, Emma wanted to leave things exactly as they were, with Frankie as her husband, even though she knew it was crazy. Maybe she needed to be a bit more crazy in her life? She knew that she should feel terrible today; guilt and horror should be eating away at her, but she didn’t feel any of those things at all. She just felt relief, as though she’d been given a get out of jail free card in a game of Monopoly. How could she really not show up to her own wedding though? There wasn’t a crueller thing she could do to Charlie in her opinion. Jilted at the altar. It was unthinkable.

  ‘I don’t know,’ she revealed in a shaky voice. ‘I’m not sure I can do it, Frankie.’ She gazed at him with pleading eyes to rescue her like he usually did. She wanted him to tell her it wasn’t possible now. She’d married him, and it was too late to marry Charlie now. There really was no turning back. She wanted their ceremony to be legal; but now she was really thinking about it, knowing that Frankie didn’t have had a marriage licence, it was highly unlikely. She’d done her research before choosing Vegas as her wedding destination.

  Frankie looked pale, as though he was in complete shock. ‘But, why? I thought you were happy with him, Emma? He’s going to be gutted. Lots of people probably feel like this on the morning of their wedding. It’s really normal to feel nervous and like you want to back out. You love him; you two are the perfect couple.’

  Emma shook her head. ‘He’s not always the same person he is in front of you. There’s more to our relationship than meets the eye.’ Her eyes were shiny as she stared at the wall, deep in thought. ‘You know, I always thought I’d be waking up today, all excited and emotional, ready to marry the man of my dreams. Hopeful of our happy future together. Instead, I find myself hungover, having already married someone else. What does that mean, Frankie? It can’t be good, can it?’

  Frankie hesitated, clearly uncertain how to respond. ‘You’ve been out and drunk too much. I think that’s what it says. You won’t be the first person to wake up on your day of your wedding having done something stupid and you certainly won’t be the last.’

  ‘What about you then? What’s your excuse?’ Emma asked him, fed up with him acting as though it was all her doing. He’d played a part in this too, and she couldn’t understand why he wasn’t taking any responsibility.

  Frankie looked mystified, as though she was talking in another language. ‘What? I’m not sure what you mean? My excuse for what?’

  ‘What’s your excuse for marrying me?’ Emma demanded, ‘there’s obviously something in it, Frankie, even if you were as drunk as me. There’s always been something between us, I knew that when I woke up today. I know it’s wrong, but you shouldn’t deny it. Our actions last night speak volumes. I think you agree with me deep down that we are much better suited than Charlie and I …’

  ‘Emma, stop.’ Frankie shook his head several times as though he couldn’t bear for her to say another word. ‘You’ve got it all wrong …’

  ‘Have I?’ she interjected. ‘Can you honestly say it was a drunken mistake and you don’t have any feelings for me?’ she questioned confidently.

  His brows furrowed in bafflement. ‘You’ve honestly got it wrong, Emma. I found you at around eleven o’clock last night after calling you constantly.’

  Emma had a horrible feeling in her stomach, and it turned over with anxiety. Her frown mirrored his as she stared back at him in confusion. ‘We got married, didn’t we? The ring …’ her eyes darted down to her left hand, ‘I noticed the marriage certificate in my bag. I’m actually happy, Frankie, you needn’t worry. You’re right that this is a huge mess, but if I’m honest, I’m glad it’s made me wake up and face my true feelings for you.’

  Frankie shot her a look of pity. ‘Yes, Emma, you got married,’ he looked away from her, as though he was annoyed with her careless actions, ‘but not to me.’

  Emma felt nauseous again.

  ‘You were with a group of men,’ Frankie told her sternly. ‘I think it was Luke you got married to. I don’t know. I can’t really remember his name.’

  She felt crestfallen. She hadn’t married Frankie at all.

  She had married a complete stranger.

  Chapter 29

  Kim

  Kim woke up feeling better about everything. She felt lighter somehow having told Holly her worries. Kim had decided she was going to call Andy that morning and ask him about Lily. As much as she wanted to do it face to face, she couldn’t wait a moment longer.

  She stretched out in bed, her thoughts turning to Emma. She smiled, despite her nerves about the phone call she needed to make, thinking she’d most likely had a really late ni
ght somewhere; her last chance of freedom. She hoped she wasn’t feeling too rough this morning, and Kim was grateful that she’d stopped drinking when she had as she had a mild headache. She rubbed her temples, turning off her alarm as it started beeping.

  Holly began to stir. ‘Oh my God, I feel so tired still,’ she said, sitting up on the pillow.

  ‘I feel okay,’ Kim replied. ‘Bit of a headache, but I’m fine.’

  Holly checked her phone. ‘I’m going to try Emma again. I’ll need to start her hair soon, and I haven’t had any replies from last night. Have you?’

  Kim shook her head. ‘No. She’s probably still asleep or something. Let’s just get washed and head to her hotel room like she told us too; I’m sure she’s there. Then I’m going to call Andy. I really need to speak to him.’

  ‘Good idea.’

  When Kim tried calling Andy thirty minutes later, it went straight through to voicemail. She frowned, wondering why his phone was switched off or he didn’t have any signal, and she couldn’t stop her stomach from bubbling with tension. She didn’t know whether it was because of what she needed to ask him or because he wasn’t answering. He had the children by himself today and she couldn’t help but panic that something was wrong. Kim knew she needed to stop being such a worrier, but being away from them all and not knowing what was going on was proving hard.

  ‘I’ll try him again later,’ she told Holly.

  Emma’s room was the floor below, and as they stood outside knocking, they stood there in stunned silence that there was no answer.

  ‘Shit,’ Holly muttered. ‘She’s obviously not in there, is she? There is no way anyone could sleep through this banging. What on earth are we going to do?’

  Kim pulled a face. ‘I’m really not sure. Maybe we should just go back to our room and start getting ready? At least that way you’ll only need to do Emma’s hair afterwards?’

  Holly looked concerned. ‘She was supposed to be getting breakfast in the room at eight, and it’s now ten past,’ she said with concern, staring at her watch. ‘I’m really worried about her.’

  For once, Kim was lost for words. It wasn’t exactly common to go missing on the morning of your wedding, was it? Kim thought back to the morning of her own big day; they had stayed at the venue the evening before and had limited themselves to a couple of glasses of wine with dinner. Kim had wanted to have an early night and she’d stuck to her word, being tucked up in bed by ten o’clock. She wanted to feel fresh and full of energy when she woke up. There would be no black bags underneath her eyes; Kim was determined to look her very best. To Kim, it only meant one thing that Emma had disappeared and it wasn’t good at all.

  The only reason someone wouldn’t want to be found on the morning of their wedding was because they had changed their mind. Perhaps Emma didn’t plan to get married today after all?

  Just as they turned the corner of the corridor, Kim heard the loud ding of the lift up ahead, a figure slumping out.

  ‘She’s here!’ Holly exclaimed with relief. ‘Look, it’s Emma!’

  Chapter 30

  Emma

  She had to act normal. Frankie had instructed her that on no uncertain terms was Emma to tell anyone about her wedding ceremony to Luke the night before. He was sorting it all out so she could go ahead and marry Charlie. To put her mind at rest, he was going to call her as soon as he’d spoken to the right people. . He was acting as though it was just a tiny little issue that he had to take care of. An accident, like simply falling over or losing her keys. It hadn’t meant anything. After Frankie had told Emma what had happened and how he’d found her, she was literally stuck for words. She was disgraced. He’d ignored the part where she’d told him her feelings for him, and Emma felt horrified for having said anything now. She just listened to Frankie’s instructions. Obediently did what she was told so she didn’t ruin the biggest day of her life. He kept reiterating over and over that she loved Charlie and wasn’t thinking straight before of wedding nerves. Maybe that’s what he really believed? Either way, without Frankie by her side, Emma felt as though she had no choice but to go ahead with the original plan. She ignored the pain in her heart, the disappointment that Frankie hadn’t whisked her away, and plastered a smile on her face when she saw Kim and Holly in front of her.

  ‘Where have you been?’ Holly asked, looking delighted to see her. ‘We’ve been so worried about you! Haven’t you seen all your missed calls?’

  Emma sighed. ‘It’s a long story, but I’m here now. I just got drunk, that’s all. I bumped into my aunt and ended up going to her room for a chat,’ she fibbed, knowing they would never find out otherwise; she had a single aunt, Brenda, who had come away on the trip. ‘I fell asleep by accident. I hope the make-up artist can work her magic with my face when she arrives. I look and feel awful.’

  Emma opened the hotel room, grimacing when she spotted the bottle of champagne on ice. No way was she touching that this morning. ‘The others are coming here at some point to get their hair done, Holly. I hope that’s okay?’

  ‘Of course,’ Holly shot her a warm grin, ‘I said anyone that needs hair doing, send my way. Happy to help in any way I can.’

  ‘That’s so nice of you,’ Emma told her earnestly.

  Emma tried to act how she would have done if she were happy with the choice she was making. She tried to imagine how normal brides were on their big day. Anxious? Giddy with excitement? Quiet? Constantly chatting away to disguise the fact they were terrified? It was difficult keeping up the bright tones and fake smiles, and Emma didn’t know how to feel when she heard her phone beep and see Frankie’s name pop up on the screen of her phone.

  Good news. The ceremony wasn’t legal. The chapel also performs ceremonies just for fun. There’s nothing stopping you getting married today. I’ll see you down the aisle! Frankie xx

  Emma gulped, staring at the words until her eyes became watery and her nose tingled. There’s nothing stopping you. She took a deep breath, closing her eyes, thinking about how she just needed to make it through the day. Soon it would all be over. She would be Charlie’s wife and she would just have to get on with it. She’d made her bed and flown everyone out to Vegas. But she couldn’t ignore the fact that it had become clear to her, now more than ever, that she really didn’t want to go through with it. Emma couldn’t stop thinking about Frankie and how she’d felt that morning when she thought he was her husband. There was a connection between them that felt right, she was certain of it. She’d never felt so out of control over her fate. She was so worried about disappointing everyone else, but what about her? Did her own happiness matter?

  ‘Do you want a glass of bubbly?’ Holly asked.

  Emma shook her head violently. ‘Absolutely not. But you two go ahead and open it, help yourselves to a glass. It’s such a waste otherwise. Sorry my hair is such a mess,’ she apologized. She didn’t actually care. ‘I quickly washed it before I came here and it’s gone a little frizzy because I didn’t have time to dry it properly. Thank God you’re here to make it look nice.’

  Holly nodded, beginning to brush it.

  ‘You sure you don’t mind us opening this? It feels wrong if you’re not having any. I don’t exactly feel amazing myself, but I’m hoping the hair of the dog is going to work,’ Kim giggled.

  ‘Honestly, please go ahead,’ Emma insisted. Someone may as well have fun on her wedding day.

  Emma was a master at masking her feelings when she wanted to. She remembered being at school once when she was about fourteen and overhearing Sally Bateman and Hayley Martins whispering that she would have to wear a tent to the end of year party as it was the only thing that would fit her. Too embarrassed to tell her friends why she was upset, Emma just pretended she hadn’t heard it, but she’d felt dejected for weeks afterwards. Another time, Emma had gone on a girls’ weekend trip to Amsterdam, even though she didn’t want to go because she couldn’t afford it. She’d agreed to go initially because she hadn’t realized the cost. She’d b
een a student at the time, and knowing she would upset the others if she pulled out because it would be an odd number, meaning someone would have to pay more for their room, she felt she had no other choice and forced herself to join in the excitement, which she really hadn’t been feeling at all. She was a people pleaser – she hated letting others down. She disliked fuss and causing problems. She didn’t want people to ever feel sorry for her. She was the type of person to have a splitting headache all day, but not complain. She would say yes to babysitting her friends’ children, even though it meant she had to change all her plans. She was a professional at tricking people into thinking she was perfectly okay, when she wasn’t. Today was no exception.

  Everyone seemed to be in good spirits but Emma had never felt more alone in her life. Danni and Fran arrived with more champagne and shortly afterwards her two cousins joined them too. There were giggles and perfume being sprayed. The flashing of photographs lighting the room and hairdryers blasting out noisily made Emma feel as though she couldn’t even hear herself think. From the outside, it was a typical bridal party morning.

  The more people who arrived in the room, the more Emma wanted to disappear. How she wished she was just a bridesmaid, or better still, just a wedding guest. She didn’t want the day to be all about her and as much as she’d got used to attracting attention on her social media pages, this was a different feeling entirely. She felt overwhelmed, like the room was closing in on her. Her chest was red and blotchy again and she was shaking uncontrollably. Was it through nerves or because of the alcohol the night before? Emma wasn’t sure.

  ‘You look amazing,’ Fran commented.

  ‘Thanks,’ Emma managed.

  When the make-up artist was finished, Emma turned and looked in the mirror.

  ‘Oh wow, Emma. You look incredible,’ Kim said in admiration.

  ‘Stunning,’ Holly agreed, her eyes sparkling with excitement.