The Truth Lucy Spoke (The Truth Turned Upside Down Book 2)
Page 7
"Merry Christmas, honey," her grandmother said, grabbing a fuzzy reindeer sock off one of Lucy's cold feet. "Come, get some breakfast and sit with me."
"Merry Christmas," Lucy said in her best, cheerful voice. "I'll be right there." She rolled over quickly, pretending to be still waking up, hiding her puffy face, and wiping away the stringy snot.
The day got progressively better as the two women ate breakfast and chatted about what they could make for dessert to bring to a neighbor's house that evening. Lucy pulled out her grandmother's cookbooks and thumbed through all her favorites, just like she had done as a child, and Grandma decided upon her famous rum balls without any debate- just like Lucy knew she would.
It had always been easy this way with them, and the hours of Christmas morning seemed to flit away. Dianna called and asked her mother to put her on speakerphone. She wished them both a Merry Christmas and put Cooper on the phone to talk and laugh. His little voice made Lucy want to cry again, but this time, she pushed the sadness down and tried to stay present with Grandma and Cooper. Anne was not available to talk, but John was eager to speak with Lucy in private. Grandma obliged, after telling Cooper and Dianna goodbye, handing the corded telephone over to Lucy
"Merry Christmas, Lucy," her dad said. "We all miss you here. It seems weird not having you with us this morning, honey."
"Merry Christmas, Dad," was all she could think of to say. "I miss you too."
The sentiments did not match her father's actions, which confused Lucy. Why was he allowing this to happen to her if he honestly missed her? And just like that, she was back in the group text Anne initiated last month between the two of them and their parents. It had been more of an ambush than a group chat with Lucy, feeling broken and utterly alone when it was all over.
Anne had wanted to clarify precisely what Lucy had meant the night she had come home late and tried to take Cooper out of Lucy's room, and she wanted their parents looking on as witnesses. She specifically demanded to know why Lucy had said, "you're hurting him" when she had merely been picking up her son. Lucy, off guard and ill-prepared, tried her best to remain calm and explain her view of that night only to be met with hatred, the accusation of her inability to be wrong, or see that she was no better than anyone else in their family. Lucy struggled to convey the lack of freedom to talk about problems openly was the real issue in their family, and not any one incident, although she felt strongly that Cooper had been in danger that night. And even though she rephrased this same concern, multiple times in the kindest way possible and the face of insult after insult, her voice had been muted. Anne rewrote Lucy's entire life history inside that group text, turning her into a villain who had plagued their family for years with her selfishness and self-righteousness.
Lucy fought back with the only tools she had at the time -truth, kindness, and a desperation to make her sister see how much she loved her, but it only seemed to make Anne angrier. The attack continued with no intervention from their parents, who seemed to sit silently, watching from the cheap seats, afraid to get involved lest Anne turn on them too.
The group text ended with Anne blasting Lucy's character and Lucy telling Anne she loved her and was proud of her, a true testament to the trauma bond that kept Lucy attached to Anne, regardless of how badly her sister treated her.
In the weeks that followed-Lucy slowly began to realize what was happening inside of her family. No one had called to check on her after Anne's vicious, verbal attack. She had unknowingly been made the family scapegoat-every problem past, present, and future, hung on her back, and nobody was going to save her, not even her dad.
When Lucy hung up the phone with her dad, she was overwhelmed by a feeling of not belonging anywhere, an empty void replacing her role as both daughter and sister. Although she was happy to be spending Christmas with her grandmother, who was good company and always smelled of roses, she did not belong there at eighteen years of age, going to virtual school when she should have been planning to shop for prom dresses, back home with Finn.
Honestly, she had not felt a secure sense of belonging in her own family well before they had moved in beside Mark, Charlotte, and Finn. The way her mom and sister were an elite team of two, left no room for her. And her dad, to be generous, was just too unpredictable and unsure of himself for Lucy to trust.
Not belonging to a group of people who loved and accepted you was a lonely way to live she decided, but belonging to the wrong group of people was even worse, perhaps. Why had God placed her in this family, she often wondered? She did not seem to fit in on a fundamental level. Sometimes she looked at herself in the mirror and tried to unsee their features in her face. Was it possible that she was not related to her family? The baby of a second cousin who got pregnant in high school, adopted quietly by John and Dianna?
As ridiculous as it sounded, there was a part of her that wanted it to be true, wanted to have a documented reason why she was so different and felt things differently from the rest of them. What would her life be like with a different sister, one who cared about her and wanted to be best friends? What would it feel like to have parents who took care of her instead of the other way around? And then there was Finn, what the hell had happened to him? Why had he decided to just cut her out of his life? Honestly, she couldn't understand any of them.
"You know, I bet your mom misses you today," her grandmother said, looking around the kitchen for the large glass bowl she used to make rum balls.
"I highly doubt that," Lucy said sharply, not looking up from her cookbook. "She has Anne there, what more does she need?"
Lucy's grandmother stopped and turned around, looking at Lucy thoughtfully. She ran her thick hand along the wooden countertop as she made her way over to where Lucy sat, gently pulling out the chair beside her, taking a seat at the drop leaf table.
"You know I have two daughters too, Lucy Elizabeth, it's not easy raising girls," she said.
"They should have stopped at one," said Lucy. "It would have been better for everyone involved Grandma, trust me," Lucy said.
"Not better for me, love," her grandmother said, gently putting a warm hand on top of Lucy's. "I was pretty hard on your mom when she was growing up, she and I, well we just never clicked as I did with Eli. The two of us are about as different as you can get. If one says yes, then the other will certainly say no. It's just like that honey with kids sometimes, and no parent ever wants to talk about it because it feels so darn awful. But it's no different than not clicking with someone that you meet at school or work. Except when it happens with a parent and a child, a daughter, and a mother, it brings a sense of sadness because we want it to be different, we want it to be better."
Lucy thought about this for a while. Maybe her grandmother was right. She and her mom had never really "clicked" as Grandma put it, but there was more to it for Lucy. There was, for her, a sense of displacement in the disconnect between herself and her mother. She likened it to a baton, handed down from one generation to another-you don't belong- inscribed inside it's dirty, hidden core.
And now, the ugly metal cylinder lay in her hands, a permanent appendage she drug around through life. And no matter how hard she tried to shake herself free of it, there it was, like an immovable tattoo branding her -Lucy, you don't belong here, your feelings are wrong, either do it as we do it, or you'll regret it.
Also by Penelope J Bristol
If you enjoyed The Truth Lucy Spoke, don’t miss out on books 1 and 3, the first and last books in The Truth Turned Upside Down series for sale on Amazon.
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About The Author
I was born in eastern Tennessee and have spent my life moving around the east coast of the United States, first as a child, and then as the wife of a USCG C-130 navigator. This gypsy lifestyle, although not always easy, has provided me with many beautiful memories and enduring friendships.
My sweet husband and I have three children, two boys, and a daughter. They are the loves of my life-each one as unique and different from the other as a fingerprint. Much healing has come from living alongside and loving these four incredible people.
I was born to be a teacher, and it is a job that has fed my soul for the last ten years of my life. I do not plan to give it up, but the call to write this book whispered in my ear for a long, long time. I enjoy writing, and I hope that you enjoyed what I chose to write. I do not know if writing will one day become my career, but for now, I am content to write in the summers when school is out. What comes of it-time will tell, I always say.
My favorite things to do are read, write, take long walks, and practice yoga to clear my mind. I have loved raising my children, and now that they are older, I savor the impromptu fleeting chats with these teenagers. Life certainly moves quickly, and I find myself wanting to go back to relive special moments of my life. I, of course, know this is not possible, but I still long for a chance to do some things again. Maybe this is why I am drawn to writing YA and Sci-Fi, my characters have their whole lives ahead of them.
I hope you enjoyed this book and that life is treating you well. I plan to write more books, eat more birthday cake and live well in between. Drop me a line, I would love to hear from you.
All my best~ Penelope
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