Feeling White

by Charlotte E Hart

  He’s so smooth, every movement and inclination laced with exactly what he’s hoping to achieve from the situation he’s found himself in, or maybe put himself in because it’s unlikely he ever does anything unless he wants something from the moment. Was he trying to achieve something other than the very words he said earlier? Why I can’t just trust what was coming from his mouth is completely unknown but given his clear ability to manipulate the world, I can’t help narrowing my eyes at the thought.

  She puts her hand on his arm flirtatiously as she throws her head back in laughter at something he’s said. His raised brow and slight stiffening at the move doesn’t go unnoticed by me but she clearly thinks she’s well in there. Whatever she’s got, he needs it, because the very fact that he’s putting up with her pathetic attempt at sexiness means there’s an ulterior motive going on somewhere. It makes me realise how well I’m beginning to understand him and quietens the nerves about what was going on in that room upstairs. He must have just meant every word. He loves me, he needs me, and he just wants to prove that to me, so why am I still feeling that something else is going on?

  “Who’s the bitch?” I swing my eyes back to Belle without any care for who the bitch is. Whatever he’s doing, he’s obviously got a good reason. It’s probably to do with yet another twilight zone.

  “No idea, and frankly couldn’t care less. I do need another drink though,” I reply as I waggle my empty champagne flute at her.

  “Oh my god, you’ll be flat on your arse by eleven. You do know that, don’t you?”

  “Yep,” I giggle in response as a woman in a lemon frilly thing bumps into me and Belle leads us over to the bar.

  “What the fuck is that?” Belle whispers as she eyeballs the strange outfit. “And any reason you’re getting pissed by the way?”

  “Nope, just having a nice time. And no idea at all... Where’s Conner anyway?”

  “Oh, I think he’s talking to some surgeon about something. I left him when they started talking about micro research and sodding computer mumbo jumbo. Honestly, the man’s a complete geek sometimes.”

  On reaching the crowded bar area, we are thankfully presented with two more filled to the brim glasses of lovliness and a couple of high stools to sit on, which is bloody brilliant because my feet are already killing me.

  “Did you sort everything out with him?” I ask as I search around for blue hair and hope he’s not in ear shot.

  “I’m just going to forget about it. It’s clearly me making up shit in my own head and you’re right, why would he propose if he was having an affair? I still hate the woman but I need to get over it. She’s not worth me worrying about, is she? Actually, is she? You’ve met her. What do you think?”

  “I think she’s nicer than she appears but you know what I’m like. I always look for the good in people. She may be the bitch from hell for all I know. Only time will tell, I suppose. But I really don’t think you need to worry about Conner. He loves you, desperately.”

  “Mmm... Oh, and while we’re at it, why didn’t you tell me about my proposal? A little warning would have been bloody nice?” she says as a man brushes her back with his coat. She turns and glares at him.

  “Oh, I’m sorry. Actually, I’m not. Would you two ladies like a drink?” he says as he leers at Belles chest. To be fair, my sister has a very good set of boobs and she has rather got them on display this evening.

  “No, engaged, fuck off,” she replies as she flicks her ring finger at him. He’s clearly either not attractive enough or she’s completely in love again so I snort out a laugh and return my stare to the room because the look on his face is killer. “Now, warning?”

  “It wasn’t my place to warn you, and anyway, I didn’t want you having too much time to think about it. We both know you would have said no if that was the case.”

  “Alright, Snotbag, when did you grow up and become the seer of all things?”

  My eyes swing back to Alex to find him in what appears to be a heated discussion with a large older man. Again, I’m not sure that the room can see his reactions but I can. Every tensing muscle is priming for something. That slight jaw twitch and his fingers tightly gripping his brandy glass show me every emotion, or rather lack thereof, now coursing through him. Those blue eyes of his narrow slightly as he plots something and smiles charmingly with that ever-rising brow. He’s clearly getting frustrated as he holds that enigmatic smile and appears to the rest of the room like he’s in absolute control of whatever he’s discussing.

  I giggle to myself as I realise that I’ve become the seer of all things where Mr. White came into my life and asked me to read him. Well, not asked, but it was the only way I was ever going to get some sort of handle on him, wasn’t it? See him for who he really is and love him for it. My ability to understand him suddenly astonishes me because I’m absolutely sure that not one other person in this room sees who he is as much as I do. They certainly don’t feel him in the same manner. While a part of me wishes they did, there’s a small part of me that’s completely delighted that he only gives it to me, just for me, just like that throat of his.

  My groin twitches inappropriately at me mid-thought and of course he somehow knows this and turns towards me, that wicked lip curl of his sending all sorts of carnal messages straight across the space between us as if he were mere inches away.

  “Snotbag, honestly, if you’re going to drool all over him all night, why don’t you just go get a room or something?”

  “Already did,” I dreamily reply as he continues his assault of the eyes, licks his lips and then turns back to towards the man again.

  “What a slut.” Oh my god.

  “Sod off. I am not. Okay, maybe I am a little bit. But he does look very hot in that tux, and those butchering hands are quite...”

  “Yes, very hot.” What the hell? I swivel around to see her gazing in the other direction at a very smart looking Conner ambling towards us. Oh, thank God for that.

  “Hey, ladies, what are you getting up to over here all on your lonesome?”

  “Hardly alone, dear,” Belle replies as she scans the bar area and then nudges Mr Up-Himself purposely. I have no idea what the hell she’s doing so look on in amazement.

  “Changed your mind have you, darling?” he says as he swings back round to her and looks straight down her cleavage, again.

  “No she fucking hasn’t, Jack. That’s my fiancée you’re looking at.” Oh!

  Her smirk at the situation has me giggling instantly so I roll my eyes at Conner’s irritated glare and drop down from the stool to go in search of my man, who appears to have disappeared.

  “Conner, she’s winding you up. She was only just saying how hot you look. I need the loo. I’ll see you both in a bit,” I say to them as I wave them both off and begin to weave my way through the array of tables to look around for Alex.

  It really is very extravagant in here and I can’t help but wonder about all the money involved in creating such an affair. I mean, okay, they’re all doing it for a very reputable charity but honestly, if all the contractors involved had just given a certain amount of money over and then the guests had put their hands in their pockets, wouldn’t it have accumulated the same in the end? It just seems an awful lot of fuss to go to to give money to a charity. Having said that, I don’t suppose people are as happy to hand that cash over until they’re inebriated so maybe this is the best course of action. What the hell would I know?

  An elderly couple are standing in the way as I finally get to the corridor that leads to the bathroom, so I smile sweetly at them and squeeze past, trying not to intrude on their clearly private moment. I can’t help letting my mind envisage a future with Alex. Will we still be together when we reach that age? Married? Children? Grandchildren? Oh god, the thought has me instantly wobbling on my too tall heels and trying to make it to the bathroom in time. I’ve yet to move in with the man and I can’t get these damn visions out of my head. Mind you, he has just told me he’ll give me for
ever, hasn’t he? That he’ll love and cherish and protect me for the rest of my life if I want him to, that he’ll never leave.

  I wish I didn’t have this underlying feeling that there’s something he’s not telling me. I could honestly roll my eyes at myself because what the hell else do I want from the man? He’s doing everything every woman on the planet could ever dream of and yet I still want more - like those bloody numbers on his back. Pascal really doesn’t help with his maintain your dominance over him speech, as if I’m supposed to keep pushing him forever until he gives me every last shred of thought or memory. Maybe I am.

  Pushing the bathroom door open, I’m instantly bombarded by all sorts of scents and smells coming from the fifteen women who are applying varying creams and potions to their skin. I have absolutely no idea what any of them are and can only assume this is the world of the obscenely rich. I have one moisturiser and obviously a small arsenal of make-up brands, but what the hell are these women doing to themselves? Frankly most of them look utterly beautiful anyway. Why they need to keep putting stuff all over themselves is beyond me but as I close the door, I realise they’re possibly all just as nervous of their appearance as I am.

  Having done the necessary deed, I walk over to the cabinets full of varying creams to indulge myself in a little of the same beautifying experience and find myself staring into the mirror as I wash my hands. The woman looking back at me seems so far removed from what she used to look like. Everything about me is glowing, make-up done to precision, hair perfectly coiffed, highlighting the diamonds twinkling around my neck.

  I look down at my bracelet and smile at the thought. He’s done this to me, given me this ability to shine and be comfortable with who I am. I don’t even need to re-touch my face or hair because it all looks wonderful, exactly the way he would want it, exactly the way I now want it to be. Shaking my head at my reflection, I turn from the mirror to leave.

  “You’re right, darling. You don’t need to do a thing. It’s no wonder you’ve captured his heart,” a woman’s voice says from behind me so I turn to see where it came from. The smile that greets me seems genuine, but given her potential bitchery, I’m not falling for it completely. She did try the oneupmanship the last time I saw her and I will not let her destroy anything for me, or Alex, or Conner and Belle for that matter.

  “Evelyn,” is my short reply. I’m not sure if I’m mad, irritated or just a little confused about her but I’m apparently not having any of her little games again this time.

  “That sounds a little hostile, Beth. Have I done something to offend you?” she replies as she swishes her frankly astounding red dress and re-applies her lipstick. Could she have chosen another colour? Given Belle’s choice this evening, I have a feeling this is not going to end well at all.

  I narrow my eyes a bit and turn back for the door because she knows exactly what she did the last time we were together and I’ll be damned if I’m going to pretend everything is fucking rosy in our garden. I’m also just a little bit wary of her interest in Conner, which clearly leads me to that suspicious feeling that I really don’t like in the slightest. It’s probably best to just avoid her and carry on with my Alex hunting instead of dealing with anything untoward. Unfortunately, her effortlessly glorious frame follows behind me and grabs at my hand to stop me so I shake it off and swing back to her in the corridor.

  “Beth, please?” I huff out a puff of air and straighten my dress as I realise that I’m going to have to get this off my chest and face it head on.

  “It’s not hostile, Evelyn. It’s distrustful. I’m always on his side. Do you understand that? Always. So be warned I won’t put up with any shit from you. Do not try to manipulate me to suit your own advantage again. He’s an absolute master at it and I can see it coming a sodding mile off.” Not that I did last time but that’s not the point.

  “Well, that told me I guess,” she replies with an award winning smile as she walks over and links arms with me. I stiffen instantly. “Oh stop it, Beth. Believe me, we’re on the same team here. I just couldn’t help having a crack of the whip last time we met, so to speak. I was the one meeting the great Alexander White for God’s sake.”

  I’m gaping I’m sure. Is she insinuating that she knows about Alex’s preferences? And is she also suggesting that she was on the back foot because I’m pretty sure it was him, for once, which caused all sorts of problems for me at the time. Actually if it hadn’t happened, we wouldn’t have had the breakdown and utterly amazing sex, but at the moment that’s not the point.

  “I don’t even know what that means.”

  “Oh, I think you do. Really, Beth, I would never have thought it of someone like you. And is he always so intimidating? He’s actually not too bad when he gets rid of that glare of his, is he?” she says nonchalantly as she saunters us back toward the ballroom and the oncoming traffic seems to part the room for her. Jesus, how does this family seem to manage that?

  “Umm... No, he’s quite lovely when you get past the pissed off frown,” is my response, because while I still don’t trust her completely, she seems to be saying all the right words.

  “Actually, I haven’t seen him yet. I was talking to Conner earlier and he-”

  “Elizabeth Scott.” Holy shit.

  And there’s that voice that has me instantly trembling, and not in a good way. My eyes turn to the side to see a very distinguished, if not scary, looking Aiden Phillips standing five feet away. What the hell is he doing here? Regardless of that very well cut tux, the man is not to be trusted in any way, shape or form. He may be completely gorgeous in a disturbingly effective way, but that aura is still oozing its way all over me like the damn plague.

  My eyes quickly dart around for Alex because I could really do with him right now. Unfortunately, my saviour seems to appear in the form of Evelyn who takes half a step in front of me and casually tilts her head towards him. His amused chuckle at her soft yet unyielding stare is completely erotic and unfairly attractive, given his mob boss status.

  “And you are?” he asks her as he approaches. Try as I might, I can’t make my mouth function as his body gets closer and zaps that underlying current of evil at me. She looks back at me and narrows her eyes a little at my inability to speak. Eventually my brain engages enough to remember some degree of pleasantries.

  “Hello, Aiden. How are you? This is Evelyn Peters. Evelyn, this is Aiden Phillips.”

  I have absolutely no clue whether she’s ever heard of Aiden Philips or not, but true to form, she hasn’t flinched in her demeanour. Not one hair out of place, not one shaking bone in her body as she extends a long manicured hand and does that absolutely in control of herself thing. Yet another family trait, it seems.

  “Aiden,” she says with a raised brow as he walks closer to me and wraps an arm around my back while shaking her hand.

  My whole body is instantly in shock. I have absolutely no fucking clue what I’m supposed to do with his arm around me. Why the hell has he done it? One casual encounter in a bar does not mean it’s acceptable in the slightest. I should run, or maybe push him off me, but that would probably offend him and I’m certain that’s not the correct thing to do. Where the fuck is Cecily sodding Whinchester when I need her? My eyes rapidly scan for Alex again as I try my best for relaxed and smile back at Evelyn who is now looking a little confused to say the least.

  He’s still nowhere to be seen and even though I have no desire to engage in this any further, I quickly make the decision that it’s probably best to just keep this short and sweet and get the hell away from the guy.

  “No Cecily tonight, Aiden?” I ask in the hope that maybe we can just do chit-chat and move on.

  “No, not tonight. Amira is here with me,” he replies, as if it’s completely fine to be discussing mistresses and wives in the same sentence. He’s still looking Evelyn over with equal interest as his fingers graze my waist. This is so not okay. If Alex sees this, he’s going to explode.

  “Aiden Phillips,”
Evelyn says as she flicks her eyes to my waist and then back up to his. “I assume you do know who you’re holding there? I’m not entirely sure your attention will be very welcome.”

  She’s got a damn good point. Unfortunately, he laughs and tightens his hand on me as he once again looks her over.

  “I’m entirely sure that anything I do will be more than acceptable, Evelyn.”

  I’m agreeing with Evelyn to be fair, but his utter complacency at the fact that Alex may walk around the corner at any minute is so confusing that I just stare at him and try to back away a little. Nobody would say that sort of thing about Alex. I mean, I know he’s some sort of master criminal, drug dealing lord or something, but I’ve never met anyone who would stand up to Alex. Well, maybe Pascal. The thought occurs to me that Evelyn would be very good for Pascal. Where the hell that came from is anyone’s guess. He looks down at me with that unfairly radiant smile of his and snorts at my wide eyes.

  “Do you want me to let you go, Elizabeth?” Oh god, yes.

  “Umm... Yes, please. I think Evelyn is probably right and I’d hate to cause a scene.”

  His eyes narrow at me as I try once again to disentangle his arm from me while he holds me firmly against him. Shit. I hope this isn’t pissing him off. I’m sure he might flip out or something any minute now. Honestly, there’s just something about the man that makes me think he might just pull out a gun and start shooting anything that moves, myself included.

  “Aiden,” his voice says from somewhere behind me. I blow out a breath at the authority in it and look straight at the floor. This could go very wrong, very quickly. I was only dancing with Henry and he left me. James looks at me and we argue so the fact that Aiden has got his hands all over me is definitely not going to go down well.