Kinsmen MC (Complete Series)

by J. C. Allen

  “I know what you’re thinking.” Jaxson said.

  I shrugged at him in response. He leaned over the table and pinned me down with that dark gaze of his.

  “Maybe you could call her, see how she’s doing.”

  You motherfucker.

  I knew exactly who he was talking about. That only made it worse.

  That girl…

  At the time, she was just a girl. We were high school lovers. Now, though? She was a woman for sure, living her own life, probably a good one. Furthermore, only Jaxson knew that she was one of the main reasons I distanced myself from the club. I thought it was why she had left me, and it probably was.

  But there wasn’t much I could do about it now.

  “I shouldn’t. I mean, I won’t.”

  I never will, either, I thought. I’m done with relationships forever.

  2

  Rosella

  “It’s three hundred dollars a week.”

  I stared at the young woman in front of me. I was trying my best not to lose my cool, but it was really hard with a number like that.

  “How about just for a day?”

  “We don’t charge by the day.”

  That’s not helping matters in the slightest. I just need her to watch some kids here and there, and yet…

  “Ugh. Fine. Thanks anyway.”

  I hightailed it out of there before I really lost it, stepping over toys and almost tripping on kids. How hard was it to watch kids for a while? Certainly not worth all that money they are charging. I expected more from a small town, or at least not this much of trouble, but perhaps that was just my wishful thinking getting the best of me.

  I got back to my rickety yet still operational Honda to head to the hospital for my son, Michael. I had been able to sneak him into the day care there for a while, namely in the few weeks since I had gotten here. He seemed to like it, but now, I had no idea how I was going to break it to him that Mom couldn’t put him up there anymore. Things were changing, and not for the better.

  I felt sick not being able to take care of him. But what could I do? If I didn’t have the money…

  It wasn’t always like this. He never wanted for anything; it helped that his father’s parents were loaded with money and were willing to give it to us. It didn’t matter how dangerous father was, I needed the security. I sacrificed a lot for that boy, and I held out as long as I could.

  But after the last time… I had to leave. I couldn’t take another fucking day with that man, and I knew if I stayed any longer, my son or I was going to wind up dead.

  So, it was back to this small town I came. I had expected more folksy, friendly people, but I suppose that was on me for naively assuming such a thing.

  When I got there, though, and saw Michael, things felt normal for at least a brief moment.

  “Mike, let’s go,” I said with a smile, crouching down by the plexy glass.

  He was right where I told him to wait, but I couldn’t just walk in and grab him. There was a sign in I had to complete—a sign in that was preventing me from seeing my baby boy, something no mother enjoyed.

  He saw me, grinned his adorable, missing teeth grin, and ran my way. His dark hair flopped on his head as his green eyes that match mine twinkled. I could look at him all day, and sometimes, I did.

  At least I used to, back when I didn’t have to go to work. How times have changed.

  And not for the better…

  “Hi Mommy, that was fast!” he said happily as he hugged me tight around the neck.

  I lifted that boy up with a smile; he just had a way of lifting my spirits in return. He was still very light and small at eight years old—he probably got that from me since I was maybe a hundred twenty pounds. But I supposed there were much worse things than being healthy and in shape.

  “I know baby,” I said before trying to maintain a smile. “Unfortunately, Mommy didn’t work out it out.”

  “I don’t mind playing with the sick kids Mommy, we get snacks,” he said with a huge grin.

  Sometimes, that boy was just too cute.

  I kissed his cheek and turned the hall corner. Doctors and nurses roamed around. The hospital wasn’t all that big, but it didn’t need to be, consdiering the population of the town could fit right in here at the same time.

  “I know, but baby, unfortunately, you can only be here if you work here, remember?”

  He nodded eagerly. I just didn’t know how to break it to him without being mean, but such was the life of a single mother.

  I was just about to make it to the exit when I passed the ER and heard a familiar voice.

  That wasn’t necessarily a good thing.

  “Rosella! Is that you?”

  I stopped in my tracks, cursing my white sneakers for not carrying me fast enough. I broke into a cold sweat in my track suit and turn edslowly, Michael hanging on my hip and not saying a word.

  “Mrs. Kinsmen, hi,” I said, forcing a smile.

  Momma Kinsmen, the mother of my high school crush. The first time I met her, I was in the backseat of her son Simon’s vehicle, getting frisky with the boy. It was, obviously, a memorable encounter for all the wrong reasons. I never was able to look at her without thinking about that glare she gave me, and even now, all these years later, I wasn’t too keen on revisiting bad memories.

  “What are you doing here?” she asked in her scrubs.

  Somehow, she looked as young as she did when she caught me. Her light hair was still full, tied back in a pony tail on her head. It was as if she had so little stress in her life—but I reminded myself not to judge until I knew what had happened over nearly the last decade.

  “Um…”

  I couldn’t exactly tell her I was stealing free daycare, dodging the corporate crisis.

  “L-looking for a job?”

  Michael shifted on my hip, and I gave him a look. The kid had a way of telling the truth too much, always giving me away. I suppose there were worse “bad” traits to have, but in front of Momma Kinsmen, this was not something I wanted to have happen.

  “Really? You got into nursing?”

  Technically I did, since that’s what I went to college for, but I never got a job. And I could see the suspicion so strongly in her eyes that I didn’t know how I was going to get anything past her.

  “Yeah…” I said, deciding backing down now would be a mistake. “Neonatal.”

  “Aw, the best kind. I have lunch with the supervisor, I’ll tell her to take a look at your resume.”

  Wait, just like that? I always thought she hated my guts. This…

  This is kind of nice.

  “Oh, well, I haven’t actually applied yet, um, I was just seeing if I wanted to.”

  I smiled to be polite, but this lie had gone too far already. It wasn’t like I could double back and just change my mind, though.

  And frankly, if I actually could get a job as a nurse, I wasn’t going to turn down the chance to have someone help me.

  “You should. In fact, we can see her now. By the way, is this your son?”

  I smiled, happy to have the conversation shift to something that I didn’t have to lie about.

  “Yes,” I said, but then I had a realization. “Um, can he come in the meeting?”

  He still needs a place. Momma Kinsmen seemed taken aback by the request, and not in a good way. C’mon, Ella. Keep it together, be cool.

  “No, we can put him in the day care we have here. It’s great. They even feed the kids.”

  I know that all too well. But I smiled and thanked her, following her for a meeting.

  I got home, if I could even call it that, and collapsed on the couch immediately.

  Home, for now, was a motel. But, after that meeting, “for now” was looking way up. Way, way up.

  I couldn’t believe it, but Momma Kinsmen had not only been on my side, she had helped me in a way I never could have predicted.

  She got me a real nursing job.

  It would take time to get a
paycheck and to have steady income, and I knew that I could never see Simon again. If I did, secrets would get revealed, Momma Kinsmen would hate me, and I’d lose my job and my ability to provide for my child. But for now…

  It was just time to enjoy myself and my son.

  Michael was still jumping on the bed when I refueled myself with some coffee to make it through the night with him.

  “Let’s get you some dinner. What do you want?”

  For the moment, I was willing to spoil him just a little. Momma Kinsmen had offered to advance me some money, but I had learned long ago that taking such advances usually came with a side of strings attached that I didn’t want to partake in. I could survive for a few weeks without a paycheck anyways; it would be tough, but it would be doable.

  “Real food, please.”

  Michael made his pouty face, but frankly, I had to agree. I was feeling the urge to have real food as well.

  “Okay,” I said with a smile as I kissed him on the top of the head. “Anything for you, baby.”

  I threw on a nicer tee shirt for the warm weather, while Michael kept on his orange shorts and blue top. He looked like a cartoon but since he liked to dress himself now, I couldn’t argue with him. Better that he have independence first and then fashion sense.

  I started driving around until I found the nearest place, a bar off the shoulder of the highway. It looked good enough, despite the bike parked in the back. It reminded me of Simon and Momma Kinsmen, really, but as far as I knew, they didn’t own a bar, just a repair shop.

  We walked inside to a bustle of people, tables mostly full and the bar packed with people. Some parts in the back had pool tables and dart boards, while other sections had regular booth seats. It looked freshly remodeled and yet somehow familiar, but I couldn’t quite place why.

  “Mommy.”

  Michael tugged on my arm and I leaned down to him

  “That man looks scary.”

  He pointed to a man by one of the pool tables, tall and tattooed. I agreed on the scary part—it reminded me of the some of the guys that associated with the Kinsmen. Maybe… what if they are Kinsmen.

  “You’re right,” I said, feeling a chill down my back as some eyes start to freeze on me. “We should just go find a McDonald’s, huh?”

  Michael eagerly nodded. I ruffled his hair and turned to leave, feeling like the two of us had stumbled into the wrong part of town.

  I get to my car when I felt the world fall on top of me.

  A ghost from my past stood before me, and I can hardly stand it. Years and years of hiding came back to me all at once—it was a wonder I could still be standing.

  Simon Kinsmen.

  So much for never seeing you again.

  “Ella?” he said, stunned. “Is that you?”

  I took my keys and gave them to Michael.

  “Get in the car, bub. Mommy needs a moment”

  For once, he dutifully complied and didn’t ask any questions. I didn’t look away until he was inside and locked the doors.

  I turned around and stepped up to Simon, who stared down at me with wonder and confusion.

  He was still as handsome as I remembered, if not more. With eyes the color of darkness and light at the same time, a hard jaw and soft lips in contrast, his hair long and whipped over his head by wind or his fingers, he really seemed to have it all.

  And when the breeze of the night blew the right way, his scent came back with each individual memory of our time together. He had gotten more tanned and more muscular for sure.

  “Yeah, it’s me,” I said after we had exchanged a long glance. “I… I didn’t expect to see you here, Simon.”

  “At the club?”

  He drew his brows together, and the muscles of his chest tightened under his shirt. He shifted on his feet, drawing my gaze down to his filled out jeans and splotchy work boots. He gave a short laugh, but it was a nervous laugh—neither of us were particularly thrilled to see the other, but it didn’t seem like we were upset about it, either.

  “Oh… um, I forgot. I thought—never mind.”

  He stared at me for a long time, as if trying to make sense of what I had just blabbered out, before he shook his head and shrugged.

  “My mom called me earlier today and told me she saw you. I thought she was messing with me because she’s mad I don’t come to dinner that much anymore. I guess she wasn’t fucking around, huh?”

  I had to give a short smile at that.

  “Yeah, I did see her.”

  “She also said that you became a nurse?”

  Although the topic at hand was about my career, the truth was, all I wanted to do, seeing him like this, seeing him grown up and mature…

  I just wanted to kiss him like I used to. I could have, frankly, if Michael wasn’t being nosy and watching. But I was never going to criticize my child for something that wasn’t wrong, and I wasn’t about to sacrifice my love for him for the sake of a quick smooch.

  No matter how tempting.

  “I did.”

  “Hmm.”

  The corner of his lip twitched, and I yearned to see him smile.

  A little too much, though, and I sought a way out.

  “I have to um, get back to—”

  I stopped myself. What could I say? I couldn’t just tell him the truth, just like that. It would have been too much all at once.

  “Yeah, no problem,” he said, equally awkward and uncomfortable as me. “It was nice to see you.”

  He stepped closer with hesitation. He was suddenly so close I could breathe and touch him with the fabric of my clothes. I came alive inside, set on fire by him once again.

  How was it that I could still feel so strongly for him? Still, I dared to think, love him?

  “It was.”

  If ever there was a time to kiss him, this was it.

  But no. I stepped away from him and drove off before I could do something stupid.

  Something that would take me back to those days that didn’t need to be taken back to.

  3

  Simon

  I stared after her like a bird caught in a cage, wanting to be free just so I could go after her.

  Seeing Rosella get in an ordinary looking car took me back to… damn, almost eight years ago. It had really been that long.

  We were seniors in high school, and for two years, we mostly skirted around each other, avoiding a relationship and my feelings for girls in general. Though I tried to avoid them, they nevertheless consumed me, and I certainly didn’t understand them. I didn’t know what staying up late, tossing and turning because I was thinking about some girl, meant.

  For a long time, I thought I was crazy or that something was wrong with me because it had never happened like that before. I wasn’t like my brothers; I never focused on girls. It had always been a side bar… until that day in sophomore math class.

  I wasn’t paying attention and, perhaps fortunately, it was the only reason I saw her walking by the halls in front of dingy green lockers and linoleum floors. Rosella was the most beautiful thing I could find. I walked right out of that class—yes, I did—and went after her, not caring about the consequences. It was a roller coaster of experiences from there, going in whichever direction I felt at the time. I don’t think I ever took her on a real date, but I stayed up every night just to talk to her on the phone. Hell, I got a job just to buy a phone to talk to her.

  She was the sweetest person I ever could have met. She became my Ella. She was absolutely perfect for me, and no one could convince me otherwise.

  But I hadn’t realized I loved her until she was gone, until I watched her cry and swear she didn’t want to see me again, to not look for her, and sped off into the sunset.

  Since that day, I couldn’t look at the memories of her anymore, not since that day. It was just too painful and too fresh, even eight years later.

  So to see her, on a random Tuesday night, was as close to a whiplash as I could get. She was looking as beautiful as ever,
the same and yet so different. The look in her eyes had changed, as experience lay behind her bright green irises. Maybe pain, too.

  Now she had the body of a woman, so full around her hips wrapped in jeans, her breasts fighting the fabric of her blouse… but despite the change—or perhaps because of it—my body still reacted to her the same way.

  Except now, I was a little more certain of my actions and such.

  I found myself still standing there on the corner. After that, the last thing I wanted to do was walk in the club. But, if I got in my truck, I knew I would just go off and follow Ella. I would ask her why she left in the first place and why she was back now. I’d ask who that kid was with her. I didn’t want to jump to any conclusions yet, but…

  Just get inside. Deal with the rest later.

  Once I shoved the door open, I was greeted with the throb of music, loud and unnecessary as usual, and behind it the slam of pool sticks and thud of darts in the wall. People were shouting, laughing, screeching and moving like crazy. I saw the same thing I always do—bikers, a whole lot of them, enjoying a night in the club with their women, or women trying to get with some of the bikers. I saw new faces and old, but I had no idea of the prospect situation right now, so I didn’t think much of it.

  Nor will I bother, let’s be honest.

  I spotted Zeke behind the bar and went his way. He was laughing as usual, probably telling some kind of joke that the members and women were eating up. It was so very Zeke.

  “Oh look, it’s my estranged brother.”

  He extended his arms out and laughed before he bent to go in the fridge, coming back up with my choice of beer. It hadn’t changed since I started drinking. Some things just remain the same while everything else goes around and around.

  Someone got up and cleared the seat for me, presumably because I was a Kinsmen. It wasn’t something that was unappreciated, but really, I just wanted to not be treated as some strange object of attention here.