Kinsmen MC (Complete Series)

by J. C. Allen

  “Earlier. Forgot we had to ask you a favor.”

  Jaxson raised his brow at me, giving me one of his weird and rare hopeful looks. It made me feel very uneasy, like there was an offer that I had no choice but to accept or a deal I would almost have no choice but to accept.

  “Yeah? What’s that?”

  Isabelle looked up at Jaxson hopefully. He shot her a look, and she smiled at me. If she’s in on it, it can’t be that bad… I think.

  “We’ve got a project for you. A house. Start to finish.”

  I was stunned. It wasn’t inaccurate to think that less than eight or so months ago, Jaxson had never met Isabelle. Now, he was married, and right now… he was asking me to build the house?

  “Really?”

  I laughed, mostly out of stunned disbelief..

  “Yeah. We’ll pay for it. I’ve already bought the land. Just wanted to hire a contractor myself to keep it civilized.”

  “Plus avoid land sanctions.”

  “Sure,” he said.

  It was a no brainer.

  “Send me the address and I’ll start inspections.”

  Jaxson nodded while Isabelle grinned. She really put a hell of a spell on him. It’s remarkable.

  “Thank you,” she said with earnestness.

  “You seem surprised.”

  She giggled once and glanced at Jaxson.

  “I am, a little. I don’t mean to be mean, just…”

  “Damn,” I said, realizing my reputation wasn’t that bad. “I guess I need to be nicer to you.”

  Isabelle just laughed. Though she wasn’t my girl, being around her did make me feel better. I’d never admit that out loud to Jaxson or give him too much credit, but he did well with the one he had now.

  “Thanks, brother,” Jaxson said, patting my shoulder.

  “Yeah, sure.”

  As they’re walking away, I realized I hadn’t asked an important question.

  “Wait, how big is this place supposed to be?”

  “We were thinking just like this one.”

  He nodded at our childhood home. I cringed. It was not a tiny home by any stretch of the imagination. Jaxson, though, just laughed.

  As I get in the truck, I thought about how I might be able to manage a five thousand square foot house. But even then, we weren’t equipped for that; we were construction as in renovation, not new homes or buildings. I frowned as I realized what Jaxson was trying to do.

  But I couldn’t go back on my word now. Not after all of the effort I had made to try and get back into the good graces of the club.

  When I got home, I tried to decompress and relax by getting an intense workout in. God knows I certainly had enough in my day to give me fuel for the best workout of my life. But instead, all the while I pounded the pavement, I was thinking of Ella, wishing I could call her.

  Though I didn’t have her number, as a client of mine, if I looked in her information file, I’d find it.

  But to do so would make things worse. Showing up at her house had already proved to be a bit of a hellish experience. If I added to that…

  She had looked… genuinely afraid of me. That, really, that had bothered me. I was only glad that I was enough to relax her for a little bit, even if it was a bit, well, unconventional of a way of calming her.

  Fuck. Fuck! Just thinking about that moment got me hard. It was always so much fun with her, because I felt like I was exploring shit I had only heard about. She was my first—we both were for each other—and it never felt like we were under pressure. The first time we had sex, I was so afraid to finish fast and not be able to give her a good time. I was too embarrassed to ask my brothers or my father for any advice, so we just taught each other, Ella and I, and I think we both became obsessed with it.

  We would find places before class at the school yard, after school, and sometimes during the lunch break. The first summer we were together, I don’t think we ever left my bed. Mom was always at work, and while she insisted we didn’t go to her house… well, we didn’t really follow Mom’s advice very well.

  As all these old memories passed through my brain, it started to be all I could think about.

  The next morning, I started a new day hoping it wouldn’t be like the last. God knows if I had a repeat of yesterday…

  I went through the normal routine of breakfast, a quick jog, and then getting dressed for work. There was no point in going to construction sites dirty—some part of my day had to be clean.

  I drove off to suffer my task of the day—the one and only Ella.

  Only, when I drove up, there was no one there. Her car was gone, so I figured she must have gone at work. I breathed a sigh of relief and backed my truck up to get the supplies out of it. I moved fast as I was, shall we say, a bit eager to get the job done so I could move on.

  I locked the door behind me, took my speaker out, and went to work. My mix of alternative rock and straight rock music filled the room as I started. It was quite weird being in her home, since now I knew where she slept and spent her non-working hours. But I just ignored that feeling and focused on the job.

  I finished the entire living room and moved on to the task of the back porch, not even realizing how long I had been out there. And then, any chance for a relaxing day free of drama disappeared.

  “Hi,” Ella shouted.

  It was like a replay of last night when I almost jumped right out of my boots from Jaxson’s surprise request. This time, I jumped to my feet and even clutched my chest for dramatic effect. She just laughed. For someone trying not to stir things up, you sure are playing up the reaction.

  “Sorry… I didn’t know you were so jumpy.”

  She smiled, and it was… well, it was beautiful as hell. She had always had a perfect smile; her mouth was wide, and her lips were full. When they opened up, her perfect row of square teeth nearly blinded me. I had begged my parents to let me get braces so mine would look like hers; that is how much I thought she had perfect teeth.

  Yeah, I was a little obsessive as a teenager.

  “Yeah, I’ve heard that before.”

  I wiped the sweat from my forehead to try and not look so bad. Ella, thankfully, handed me a towel and a bottle of water.

  “Thanks.”

  I wiped my face and hands and finished the whole bottle. Now that I was cleaner, though, I had to face the fact that was still weird to see. Despite her apparent work day, Ella was here before me.

  “I thought you were at work.” I said, eying in her jeans and tee shirt. It was a simple blue thing that hugged her tightly… but it seemed like a fucking siren suit.

  “I was. We don’t wear our scrubs in and out because of contamination.”

  “Oh,” I said, as if that answered how she suddenly came back. Then another question came to mind. “Where’s the little guy?”

  “TV.”

  I nodded once. We were silent for a while; it was obvious but strangely comfortable. It was almost like both of us secretly relished the chance to be silent in this moment.

  “The living room looks really nice.”

  I smirked. She was perhaps the only client who got me to do anything resembling a smile.

  “I’m glad you like it.”

  I walked off and sat on the bench against the wall. All that needed to be done out here was the foundation, but she had such a nice big yard that could have had a lot of extra work done if she wanted it—or could afford it. I thought of what making a deck for her to use would cost in time and in money.

  “I do,” she said, her voice trailing off like she wanted to say something. “Um… do you want to have dinner with us?”

  If this was the first night I had seen her, I would have said yes. If my encounter with my mother from the night before hadn’t gotten to me, I would have said yes. Any other day, I probably would have said yes.

  But so much had transpired in the past twenty-four hours or so that I just didn’t see how that was a smart move.

  “Uh, no not really. I
f I’m being honest.”

  “Oh,” she said, startled at my admission.

  “Sorry.”

  “No, it’s fine. You’re just being honest, right?”

  She bit her lips and furrowed her brow. It was her fucking crying face. I’d thought that I was doing both of us a favor by being honest, but…

  “Look, I just don’t want to dance around the elephant in the room all night, Ella. Not anymore.”

  “What do you mean?”

  How do you not… OK, just explain calmly.

  “I mean…” I said, standing up and facing her. We were inches apart, yet it felt like we were miles away. “Why did you come back?”

  Her eyes widened up at me before she looked down at the ground, crossing her arms in front of her like a defense. It was not a sight I wanted to see.

  “Simon—”

  “No, see, that’s what I mean.”

  “I can’t just—it’s complicated.”

  I rolled my eyes, frustrated as hell by that answer. It was a non-starter, a blocker to whatever productive conversation we could have had. It wasn’t going to go anywhere if we spoke to each other like this.

  “Fine, let it be complicated,” I said. “But you can talk to me about it. We have loved each other for years, and you left me, but I still loved you even after that. Now we’re here, and I’m not even worth being given a small clue as to why this all happened?”

  “Simon, I want to tell you. But I can’t.”

  Bullshit.

  “I wish you could just understand, and—”

  “And what? Be your secret kept in the dark? No.”

  I walked past her, too frustrated to stay in her presence, but she clutched my arm, pulled me down to her, and kissed me.

  I was taken by surprise, but I let her. I let her trap me in her action, with no hope of getting out, and kissed her back. Her tongue swirled around mine as I tasted her sweet mouth and pressed her body to mine, holding her at her hips to keep her on me.

  My cock hardened, pressing into her soft belly as I molded her lips to mine. I moved to run my hand through her silky golden hair, holding the nape of her neck as I turned my face into the kiss. Her hands traveled up my arms, clenching my tired muscles from the day and soothing them. Fuck… fuck!

  I just want to keep kissing her, I wanted to do more than kiss her, but I can’t, not without—

  “Ella, Ella…”

  Finally, with a force, I pulled away. She clutched at me, her bright green eyes dimming. This had to stop—it had to!

  “I can’t do this anymore Ella. You gotta tell me the truth.”

  I licked my lips, shaking my head at her.

  I gave her the chance to respond to me.

  But she was silent.

  I started to pack up my tools and everything, regretting that I might have to send someone else here in my place. But I couldn’t do that. I had to see everything through with her, even if she couldn’t do that with me.

  I looked at her one last time, taking in her natural beauty. If I had it any other way, I would have accepted the pain it caused me to be around her and not get to have all of her.

  But I couldn’t do that.

  “Have a good night.”

  I left through the back, jumping off the deck and jogging out to my truck, before she could catch me.

  6

  Rosella

  I came home to find Simon working in the back, but I knew I shouldn’t go out there right away.

  So, first, I led Michael to his room to wash up and get changed for dinner. Then I started on dinner, my usual routine. Everything was going just fine.

  But something told me to go out there, just to see him. So, perhaps against my better judgment, I moved forward and said hello to him.

  He jumped like a little boy, which was kind of adorable to see, although he didn’t take very kindly to it. He didn’t take kindly to much these days, but it was part of why he was so handsome and rugged—he didn’t just smile, roll over, and say everything was OK.

  But then he started asking why he left. I knew how it would look if I told him everything about my father, about my new life here, about my attempts to confront the past I had trouble confronting on my own… I couldn’t do it.

  He almost left. It terrified me to lose him—perhaps that was pathetic and cruel to say, considering I had “lost” him by removing him from my life more than once—so I kissed him.

  It worked…

  Temporarily.

  But then he got a hold of himself, said he couldn’t do it anymore, and walked away. Just like that, it was done.

  I watched Simon leave, and it felt like a part of me had gone too. Seeing him again only gnawed at the edges of that hole until I could feel all of the pain again. When he was around, he filled in that hole, completing the edges and soothing the burn.

  Then he is gone again, and I am left feeling like this. Empty, incomplete.

  Defeated, I trudged back into the house. Michael, somehow, cheered me up with his stories of day care and excitement for a simple dinner. I knew I needed to return the favor and spread some of my cheer, but I was just so defeated… I have to do better as his mother.

  I decided I just needed to close the day and took him upstairs. Once I gave him a bath and put him to bed, I called Grace. I lay on my bed with the baby monitor on and keep the television on mute, hoping that Grace can give me a little, much-needed pick-me-up.

  “Hello? Ros? Ros?!? Rosella!”

  I perked up, realizing she had actually answered already.

  “Oh shit, hey. Sorry.”

  “Do you know I’ve been saying your name for like three minutes?”

  It hasn’t been that long…

  Has it?

  “Um… I guess I have a lot on my mind.”

  “Is it Simon again?”

  Grace knew me too well. When was it not Simon?

  “How do you do that?”

  I rubbed my eyes and sat up in bed to wake myself up.If I slept now, I would toss and turn all night and then end up ruining my day tomorrow.

  “I don’t know. A hidden talent. What happened?”

  I heard some ruffling on her end and knew she was at work. For once, I envied her to have the distractions of the office.

  “Nothing. He was here today working when I got home. I left Michael alone for a while—”

  “To watch him?”

  I rolled my eyes at her, but she was right. It would just be to watch him—specifically, those large, rippling muscles of his, pumping as he works; sweat sheening his shirt and neck, glistening right where I would lick it off.

  The urge to have him was very, perhaps too, strong.

  But the need to not be with him for my reasons had to be stronger.

  “Grace… I can’t tell him.”

  Tears pricked my eyes, and this time, I let them come. I wished she were here so she could comfort me the way only she knew how.

  “Except you have to. Eventually.”

  My lips tremble as I cried fully until the release helps me feel better. When I composed myself, I wiped my eyes and took a deep breath.

  “But how?”

  “Ros…”

  “No, I want you to really tell me how I can do that. How can I tell the only man I have ever loved, that I left him to save his life? And that I took his son with me and made him miss out on eight years of his life. And that now, I’m back just to have one last safe place from my father, that it unfortunately includes him? It isn’t fair, Grace. It never has been.”

  She sighed. No one could say what I was in was fair or easy.

  “I know hun, I know. I’m sorry…”

  “It’s not your fault. All you’ve done is help me.”

  “But you know that Simon would understand, at the end of the day.”

  He would. As painful as it would be, he would. But…

  “I know, that’s why it sucks so much. He’s so… I’m being so cruel to him and he doesn’t deserve it.”


  Everyone made their assumptions about him and his brothers, that they were all bikers, bred criminals, dangerous men. Nothing was dangerous about Simon though, not unless he was protecting his family. He was sweet and thoughtful and would always make me random gifts that meant more than being bought something. He always considered my feelings first, always wanted me to be happy. And in bed, we got rougher and more passionate as we went along, and yet the way he touched me here and there had always been gentle and caring.

  It was who he was with me.

  “But Simon is smart, he’ll understand why once you tell him. It doesn’t help that he never knew about your dad though. It would have made it easier when you left the first time.”

  I nodded to myself in agreement. The day I left was easily the worst day of my life, second to not having Simon there when Michael was born. I told him that I had to go away, for school, and that I would call. But I never told him where I was going. Eventually, I simply told him that I… well, just bluntly, I didn’t want to be with him anymore.

  “I know. But I will. Somehow.”

  I racked my brain for how I might be able to. I could possibly write a letter so I wouldn’t have to look into his deep and soulful eyes. In the moment, maybe. But you’d have to eventually.

  Our conversation shifted to other menial topics at that point, but I couldn’t stay awake through the less serious matters. I simply rolled over and dozed off, as the day had taken so much out of me, I wondered how I was even still awake for the first part of the phone call.

  And wouldn’t you know it, I fell asleep to dreams of Simon—his arms around me, lulling me to sleep.

  I craved it. I wanted the security of his arms wrapped around me all night so I could wake up in the morning and feel like no time had passed at all.

  It would always feel like that, with Simon at least. Just a kiss from him or simply looking in his eyes would freeze time. That was why kissing him now felt like I had gone back in time, and I wanted for nothing more than to stay there.

  The past was perfect, it was simple. Maybe that was a little—OK, a lot—of idealization and looking at it through rose-colored glasses, but relative to where things were now, it was absolutely true.