Unwilling Warrior

by Andrea Boeshaar

  “Valerie, this is my brother Luke.”

  “It’s a pleasure.” She reached for his hand. “I’m so happy to meet you. I’ve prayed for you, and it’s a blessing to see you’re alive and looking well.”

  “Thank you.” Luke jabbed Benjamin with his elbow. “She’s even prettier than you said.”

  He replied with a tolerant grin. “Don’t you have something else to do?”

  “No.” Luke wagged his head, obviously goading his big brother.

  But the jokes and quips had to stop. “Gentlemen, there’s a gravely ill woman upstairs.”

  They both straightened to their full height, their expressions serious now.

  “Ma told us about Catherine.” Benjamin’s gaze softened. “I don’t mean this tritely when I say we’ll keep her in our prayers.”

  “I know.” Valerie believed him.

  “And Ma’s on her way in. She was right behind Luke.” Benjamin sent his brother an annoyed glance.

  Luke chuckled.

  With an arm around her waist, Benjamin guided her to the stairs. “So you’ve got a few minutes to go pack.”

  “But—” Questions whirled inside her head as she looked up into his face.

  “We’re going to do that talking you mentioned.”

  “All right.” Valerie ran up a few steps and then paused. “Should I pack for a long trip or short?”

  He leaned against the balustrade and grinned. “I reckon that depends on what happens after our talking.”

  “Hmm, I see.” Valerie guessed his intentions. “Am I correct in assuming I’m going to have your attention all to myself tonight?”

  “Only if you hurry before the rest of my family gets home.”

  Not wanting to waste a moment more, she whirled around and ran up the stairs as fast as her legs would carry her.

  Twenty-two

  It’s a sorry shame about Catherine.” By the flickering glow of the small lamp on their table, Valerie saw Benjamin shake his head sadly.

  “What do you think about my bizarre encounter with her this afternoon?”

  “Sounds like Catherine isn’t quite ready to forgive and be forgiven.”

  “That’s what I thought too. What about your pocket watch? Are you angry?”

  A wry grin curved his mouth as he retrieved something from out of his waistcoat’s inner pocket. Valerie recognized Mama’s gold chain and then his watch.

  “How did you—?” She reached for it, inspecting it beneath the glow of the candles on their table. Opening it, she saw Benjamin’s photograph and held the precious keepsake to her heart a moment before slipping it over her neck. “Oh, Benjamin, how did you find it?”

  “Clint, Luke, and I stopped at the Widewater Inn last night. A serving woman who had worked at the place for decades found my watch lying in the alley when she took out the garbage. She knew it was mine because of the photograph inside. She recognized me. So she tucked it away until one of us McCabes happened through there again.”

  Valerie sighed as enormous relief engulfed her. “Thank you.”

  “Thank the Lord, not me.”

  “I thank you both.” She smiled.

  Benjamin stretched his arm across the table and took her hand. “You sure are a sight for these sore eyes.”

  “You mean because you took in so much after that battle at Shiloh? We heard thousands of men died on both sides.”

  Sorrow fell over his expression. “Over twenty-three thousand casualties is the last number I heard.”

  Valerie tightened her grip on his hand. “I thank God you and Clint and Luke all made it through safely.”

  He brought her fingers to his lips.

  A blush warmed her cheeks.

  He released her hand, and she let her gaze wander for a moment so she could collect her thoughts. The hotel’s small eatery was surprisingly busy tonight, and at the other end of the rustic room a small ensemble of guitars and banjos made melody. Strains of the melody “Lily Dale” reached her ears.

  “Do you remember the first night we met?”

  Valerie returned her gaze to Benjamin. “Of course I do.”

  “Well, the way I see it, I got cheated that night at the Donahues’.”

  A frown set on her brow. “How so?”

  Benjamin slid back his chair. Its legs scraped against the plank floor. “I never got the chance to dance with you.” Standing, he held out his hand.

  Smiling, Valerie took it, and Benjamin pulled her close to him. There wasn’t a designated area for dancing, so couples claimed a spot anywhere.

  Benjamin hummed and occasionally sang to the song as they swayed to the music.

  She peered up into his face and met his stare. She marveled at how a mere connecting of gazes still caused her pulse to react and her knees to feel weak.

  But what did he feel?

  He stopped singing and leaned his head against the side of Valerie’s. “I missed you.”

  “I missed you too.” Valerie silently whispered a prayer of thanks while asking for courage too. She needed to present her demands and insist that Benjamin give her an answer. Did he love her? She’d like to think so. If he didn’t, then they ought not to be dancing so closely and Benjamin shouldn’t be nibbling on her neck in that way that made her shiver all over.

  “I sense your thoughts are elsewhere.” He leaned back.

  She lowered her gaze, embarrassed that he’d read her thoughts so well.

  The tune ended, and disappointment coursed through Valerie. She would have enjoyed lingering in his arms awhile longer.

  Without a word, Benjamin led her through the eatery and toward the stairs leading up to the room he’d rented. Before dinner he had allowed Valerie to use it privately to change her dress. Now, however, it seemed she’d need that courage she only moments ago prayed for.

  Inside, the tiny room was furnished with a desk, a small wardrobe, a chair, and a bed covered with a flimsy, white spread. Valerie wondered how she ought to begin to convey the matter that weighed so heavily on her heart.

  Benjamin shrugged out of his dress coat and undid his tie. The waistcoat came off next.

  “What are you doing?”

  “Getting comfortable.” He sent her a glance. “Feel free to do the same.”

  Valerie flushed with embarrassment. “I do not feel free to do any such thing.” Turning toward the window, she strained her eyes to look past the gauzy drapes. She made out the train station across the way.

  A minute later she felt Benjamin’s hands on her shoulders. “Sweetheart, you don’t have to be so shy. We’re married now.”

  She faced him, noticing the pearly buttons of his crisp, white shirt. “And what does that mean, exactly? ‘We’re married.’ Forgive me, but I can’t recall our bargain.”

  “Bargain?”

  “Yes, the one we apparently made. I wasn’t myself on our wedding day, if you can even call what we had a wedding. I barely remember taking our vows. So I’ve been wondering what sort of marriage this is.”

  Benjamin arched a brow. “There’s more than one kind of marriage?”

  Valerie folded her arms and reminded him of what he’d said before putting her on the steamboat.

  “Well, sure, I was sorry about the way things happened. You deserved a beautiful wedding ceremony with all the trimmings. As for the fixing it part of my statement, I thought maybe you’d like to have a celebration here in Jericho Junction.”

  “I’ll think about it.” She wasn’t sure it was necessary.

  “I’m sorry you don’t recall our vows.” He looked wounded.

  “Emily said we both recited them, but the whole day is something of a blur for me.”

  “Understandable.” He seemed pensive for several moments. “But I hope you don’t feel I coerced you into marrying me. You said you loved me, therefore—”

  “I didn’t feel coerced, although I’ve rather wondered if you’re the one who felt pressured into marrying me. After all, your photographs implicated my father. Y
ou may have felt guilty . . . and coerced.”

  “Hardly. I prayed about marrying you and felt God opened up the way to make it happen. I don’t mean to put a happy spin on tragic events, but taking you to be my wife was one of the finest days of my life.”

  The admission warmed Valerie’s heart. “So you didn’t marry me out of pity?”

  “I’m really not that noble.” His eyes lit up from the grin on his face. “I married you, Valerie, because I love you.”

  “You do?”

  Benjamin slipped his arms around her waist and placed a kiss on her forehead. “I’m sorry you ever doubted it.”

  “But that night in the kitchen, when I said I loved you, you didn’t reply. You could have.”

  “I felt I had no right.” He pulled back far enough so he could look into her face. “I knew I’d never be a man who could afford to lavish you with expensive items.”

  “I never cared about wealth.”

  “Maybe not, but I couldn’t get past my fear that you’d one day hate me because I couldn’t measure up to your expectations.”

  “And now? Do you still harbor that fear?”

  “No, because marrying me far outweighed your alternative.”

  Valerie angrily pushed him back. “That’s the most absurd thing I’ve heard. Benjamin, do you realize that by not stating your feelings you allowed my father to betroth me to James Ladden?”

  “I talked to your father, Valerie, and he refused to change his mind.” On a long breath, Benjamin cupped her head and drew it to his chest. She could hear his heart beating strong and sure. “I do love you so much, and I’m sorry what you suffered at the hands of that lousy excuse for a man. I wanted to step in, but each time I felt God tell me to be patient and wait.”

  “I felt God tell me the same thing.” Her irritation at him waned, and she relaxed in his embrace. “That’s why I didn’t leave home even when the urge to flee was so overwhelming.”

  “I wouldn’t have allowed you to marry him, Valerie. I didn’t know what to do, but I would have thought of something.”

  Knowing that soothed away her concerns.

  “Part of me worried you might want to flee from Jericho Junction, that you’d hate me for sending you here.”

  “Remember our carriage ride through New Orleans when I said I’d follow the man I love to the ends of the earth?”

  “I remember the instance quite well.” A smile entered his voice. “Actually, I plan to hold you to it.” He released her and his tone took on a businesslike quality. “Now, then, I understand you have, um, a list of demands you’d like to run by me.”

  She gaped for a long moment, wondering how he knew. Then it dawned on her. The ruckus in town earlier . . .

  “Your brother Jake is the most exasperating man I know.”

  “Yes, he mentioned your high opinion of him.” Benjamin couldn’t curb his chuckle.

  He folded his arms. “All right, so let’s hear ’em.”

  “Actually, I think you’ve met all my demands.” She felt humbled to admit it. “And quite effectively, I might add.”

  He replied with a satisfied nod. “So it’s all right to proceed with the honeymoon? I thought tomorrow morning you’d like to take the train back to St. Louis with me. The Culvers too. You see, Clint and I left our wagons there because we couldn’t wait another day to be home with our wives.”

  “Oh, Benjamin…”

  He gathered her in his arms. “We’ll go to the theater and visit some shops.”

  “Sounds like a grand honeymoon.”

  “I love you, Valerie.”

  “I love you too.” Up on tiptoes, she wrapped her arms about his neck and kissed his jaw. Then she whispered in his ear, “All I ever wanted is to be completely yours.”

  Epilogue

  May 1866

  It’s the big day. Are you nervous?”

  “More curious than nervous.” Valerie searched her husband’s face. “What are you up to? What’s this big surprise you’ve been talking about? Is Sarah coming home?”

  “No, it’s not Sarah.”

  Momentary disappointment descended. Valerie and the rest of the McCabes, and most of Jericho Junction too, had recently given Sarah a tearful send-off. She’d left home to fulfill her dreams of big city life. Valerie hoped Sarah wouldn’t regret her decision. She’d soon learn that city living had its downfalls too and that happiness resided in one’s heart, not in any particular place.

  Benjamin set one arm around Valerie’s shoulders, while in the other he carried their ten-month-old son, Daniel. Valerie held on to the hand of their daughter, Maggie. The darling girl had been named after Valerie’s mother, Marguerite, and “Maggie” was the nickname that stuck. At three years old, Maggie had become a marvelous little helper—and Valerie figured she’d need all the assistance she could get once this new baby arrived in September.

  She leaned against Benjamin. “Tell me your surprise.”

  “Just wait.” He kissed her temple. “You’ll see in a few minutes.”

  She nibbled her lower lip in thought. “It has to be a person, or we wouldn’t be waiting here at the train station.”

  “I’d say that’s a good likelihood.” He chuckled.

  Valerie rolled her eyes and sighed. “You McCabes love your surprises, don’t you?”

  “I reckon so.”

  Valerie’s gaze moved to their little boy, secure within the confines of his daddy’s strong arm. His large blue eyes were wide as he took in the activity around him.

  Once the war ended, the westward movement brought throngs of people through their little town, which was rapidly expanding. The McCabe-Culver Photography Studio was often lined with customers desiring to have their pictures taken. Other times Benjamin and Clint took their cameras outdoors if customers desired a photograph or two of themselves with their team of oxen before heading West.

  “Mama, where’s the surprise?” Maggie stared up at her.

  “No idea, honey. But Daddy knows.”

  “Daddy?” She moved to him.

  “Soon. You’ll see soon.”

  A few minutes passed, and Benjamin led them over to a recently vacated bench. Valerie eased herself down, and he sat beside her. He positioned Daniel on one knee while Maggie climbed up into his lap. Valerie did her best to hide her smile. Maggie had her daddy wrapped around her little finger.

  Benjamin hadn’t at all been disappointed his firstborn proved to be a girl, although Clint, having already celebrated the birth of his son, teased him about pink this and pink that for months afterward. But now it was Clint’s turn to have a newborn daughter. Only days ago, Emily delivered their third child, a baby girl.

  Placing a hand on her rounded belly, Valerie’s thoughts came forward, and she scanned the crowd. She tried to think of an individual from her past who’d want to come for a visit. Certainly not Elicia Donahue. Valerie heard she’d married a Union major, a physician, and settled in Baton Rouge.

  “There she is!”

  “Where?” Valerie looked at Benjamin, then tried to follow his line of vision. “Benjamin, who is ‘she’?”

  A moment later Valerie saw her and sprang to her feet. A squeal of delight escaped her.

  “Well, look at you, dearie! All plump and rosy-cheeked, y’are!”

  “Adalia!” She had looked beyond the older, gray-haired woman. “I can’t believe I didn’t recognize you.” She gave her special friend as much of a hug as her midsection allowed. “This is a surprise. A grand surprise. I never thought we’d meet again.”

  “Oh, ye of little faith.” Adalia chuckled loudly. “And look who I brought with me. None other than my own true love, Dalbert Dempsey. He came for me after the war. Sailed all the way from England, he did.” She leaned close to Valerie. “You were right about true love.”

  She smiled broadly as she greeted the rotund man whose hat seemed too small for his head.

  Removing it, he bowed. “A pleasure to make your acquaintance, Mrs. McCabe.”
/>   Benjamin stepped in beside her and shook Mr. Dempsey’s hand. Next he kissed Adalia’s cheek. “I trust you two had a good trip.”

  “We had a lovely trip.” Adalia pinched Daniel’s chubby cheek. “Such a handsome fellow . . . and look at this little princess.” She bent and spoke to Maggie. “Why, I remember when y’mama was your age. You’re just as pretty too.”

  Benjamin introduced the children. Then he caught Valerie’s gaze, winked, and smiled.

  “We’d best take our guests on home.” He nodded his head toward the wagon.

  Home. For Valerie the word still held an incredible, beautiful note.

  They’d purchased a house about a half mile outside of town. Jake and Luke recently helped Benjamin build on an addition as their family was growing quite rapidly. Valerie decided she’d miss Jake and Luke when they left for the Arizona Territory.

  “May I escort you, my lovely?” Benjamin offered his free arm.

  A soft breeze wafted through the budding treetops as Valerie threaded her hand around his elbow. She gave it a tug, and he inclined his ear to her. “Thank you, my love,” she whispered.

  “You’re entirely welcome.”

  While Daniel rode on his daddy’s other arm, Maggie clasped onto Adalia’s hand.

  “My Uncle Jake made me a rocking horse.”

  “Is that right?” Adalia sent Valerie a wink. “Can I ride it?”

  “No, you’re too big.” Maggie giggled.

  “How ’bout a ride for me?” Mr. Dempsey teased.

  “You’re too big.”

  Adalia chortled as they walked to the wagon. “Y’certainly are blessed, dearie.”

  “Yes, I am.” They reached the wagon. “How long can you stay?”

  “Long enough to help you with the wee one that’s on the way.”

  “Wonderful, although I might have to share you with Emily. The two of us have our hands full.”

  “Well, now I’m here, dearie. You can relax.”

  “Mr. Dempsey is going to help Clint and me this summer,” Benjamin put in. “It just so happens he repairs photographic equipment.”

  “Learned the trade in England,” said the man, “so I could support m’darling wife in New Orleans once I found her again.”