by E. M. Leya
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© 2019 by E.M. Leya
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This book is a work of fiction. References to historical events, real people, or real locales are used fictitiously. Other names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author's imagination, and any resemblance to actual events or persons or locales, living or dead, is entirely coincidental
Cover Art by SJ York
ACKNOWLEDGMENT
Thanks first and foremost to the readers who have picked up and read my books. You are the reason the stories keep coming. The characters are alive because you take the time to fall into their world and share their lives with them. I love each and every one of you!
I also couldn't do this without a great team of support from alpha and beta readers, to my editor cover artist, and my sprint partners. You all help me be the best I can be. Thank you for that. Without you, I'd be a mess.
And most of all to my family who sacrifice so much so that I can take the time to get these books finished and share them with the world.
CHAPTER ONE
Mark
Getting out of the car slowly, I paused to look around at the place that would be my new home. Trees clustered heavily around a large log cabin. The place was huge, much bigger than I would have expected for the area. The two, no, maybe three-story home was immense, with large picture windows looking out over the forest. I stared at it, stunned that I would be living here.
I hadn't expected it to be so far from town. Being so far away from people only added to my fear and apprehension. When I'd agreed to come with Justice and allow him to turn me into some kind of wolf shifter, I'd thought we'd stay at the pack house, or at least somewhere near it. Nope, we were miles away from it, in the middle of the forest, and I was stuck with a man who had been attacked by an old friend of mine and left for dead.
A cold chill ran through me as I remembered everything that had led up to this. I'd thought Justin was my friend, but he'd quickly entangled me in a nightmare that few could ever imagine. It was the stuff of horror novels, and now it had become my life.
"Mark, you okay?" Justice, the man who would play the leading role in this nightmare, stopped behind me.
"Yeah." The tremble in my voice gave away the lie and I was pretty sure my scent did too.
The guy behind me was huge, probably close to six and a half feet tall and weighed a good hundred pounds more than me. The heat from his body hit my back, letting me know just how close he was standing to me. I closed my eyes, taking a steady breath.
I deserved this.
It was better than death, which I'd expected.
"You're going to be alright." Justice gripped my shoulder with his large palm.
"Sure." I stared ahead, hoping it was the truth. I didn't deserve to be alright. I'd been with Justin when he'd killed one shifter, stolen the eyes of another, and had attacked and left Justice and Preston for dead. The only reason I wasn't dead right now was that I'd only watched it happen, not taken an active role in the attacks.
Up until this, I'd had no clue shifters even existed. I wished I didn't know now. Ignorance was bliss in cases like this.
"I can smell your fear." Justice moved past me, heading up the steps to the large front door.
"Do you expect me not to fear you?" I forced my feet to move, following him.
"I'd hoped once you were told you weren't going to die that you'd relax a little." Justice entered a code on a keypad beside the door. There was a loud click before he pushed the door open. "All the security is done with keypads. I'll give you the codes once I can trust you with them."
"You mean once you're sure I won't run?" I followed him inside the house, pausing as I looked over the vaulted ceiling and very modern furniture. The place looked right out of some interior decorating magazine.
"I don't care if you try to run. My wolf would love to give chase." Justice glanced over with a grin. "You need to remember what I am, Mark. If you run, I can follow your scent. You won't get away. You agreed to this. If you'd rather be put to death, that can be arranged, but I need to know now before we waste any more of each other's time."
His blue eyes stared at me with an intensity that made me shiver. I wasn't used to being around strong men, let alone men who weren't really all men, but half wolf. I was so far out of my league here that it would be a miracle if I lived through this. "I don't want to die. I promised I'd see this through. I'm just nervous."
"I thought Josh explained everything." Justice threw his car keys on the kitchen table.
"Only about what it's like to change into a wolf, but nothing else, and what he said was confusing." I rubbed my hand over my chin. "I don't know anything about what I'm going to become." The only information I had was from what I'd seen while they'd held me captive, trying to decide my fate. I knew they'd killed Justin. Knew they had wanted to kill me. "I keep imagining movies and shit."
Justice laughed and gestured to a chair. "Have a seat and we'll talk. Would you like a beer or soda or something?"
"A soda would be good." I slumped into the chair, really wanting a beer, but was afraid to drink anything that might keep me from having a clear head.
Justice went over to the large stainless-steel fridge and opened it. He pulled out two drinks and handed me one before sitting down beside me. "Depending on what movie, some of it might be right. We aren't some nightmarish creature that shifts under a full moon. We're a lot like any human out there, only we're more. We have abilities and talents that the humans don't. On a normal day, you probably pass hundreds of shifters. They are in the stores, in the restaurants, working the local jobs. You just don't know what they are because they hide it."
"Wait? They work normal jobs?" I was confused.
"Everyone has bills to pay, right? I'm a contractor. I built this place, and work in the area building homes for others. My brother, who you will meet in time since he lives here too, he's a musician. He goes around the country playing with his band. Other pack members are teachers, doctors, lawyers. Kurt, our alpha, he works for the Forest Service. We have our likes and talents just like everyone else."
I glanced around again. "You built this place?"
"Yep. My brother and I wanted a place away from everyone, so we bought the land and I spent three years building the place. I'm still not done. I have plans to expand the garage, and Tavish wants a recording studio, which I'm still debating on."
"Tavish?" I was trying to keep up with everything, but my mind was racing with everything going on.
"My brother, my twin. He's not home often. You'll meet him eventually. He pops in and out every few months when he's not on tour." Justice shrugged. "Anyway, as I was saying, we're not that different from humans. We have the ability to shift into wolves, we have better senses, we are stronger, and there are other things that you'll learn once you've shifted, but for now, there's no point in getting into all that since it will be part of your training once you shift."
"So my life really won't be any different than it was before?" I had hoped that becoming whatever they were would improve my life. As of right now, I had nothing. I didn't have shit to my name. I'd been sleeping on friends' couches or on the streets. I had a part-time job at a coffee shop, but since I had missed two shifts now due to the wolves holding me captive, I
probably couldn't count on that anymore.
"Not really. You'll still be the same person. A few things will be different, and from what I know about you and your past, they will be better. With the support of the pack, you'll have more opportunities, more chances at making a life for yourself. Unlike the humans, the wolf pack doesn't let our members suffer or go without. Sure, there are those who choose to live a solitary life and not take advantage of pack, but those who are part of a pack will always have a place to stay, a hot meal, a chance to find work or at least work within the pack. You won't be couch hopping all the time unless that's the life you choose."
"How long will I have to stay with you?" I tried to remember everything I'd been told, but I'd been so scared that I hadn't been listening well. I was just happy they weren't going to kill me for being part of the attacks that had happened.
"That depends. Once I bite you, it can take weeks before you change and shift for the first time. It differs for everyone, but you'll be here with me through that, then after, until you learn how to control your wolf and aren't at risk of letting your wolf take over. If that happens, we'll have to put your wolf down."
I shivered. "What do you mean by my wolf taking over? What happens?"
"It means you lose your human side and can't shift back to human form." Justice folded his hands on the table.
He was so huge; his hands were three times the size of my small ones. I tried not to think about the control he had over me. Would have over me. "I can get stuck as a wolf?"
"It can happen, but isn't common. That is why it's so important that you and I are together once you first shift. Until you learn how to work with your wolf, there is a chance he will take over. Think of it this way. Your wolf is one personality, your human is the other. The two have to learn how to live together, and for the first few months, that can be hard. Your two sides fight against each other, both wanting to be dominant. It takes time to find equal ground for both. While you might spend more time in human form, you'll need to learn how to let parts of your wolf through while you're human so that he doesn't feel left out."
"This is crazy." I hugged my arms around myself.
"This is why we don't often change humans. I'm not going to lie to you. This is dangerous and it's not going to be easy, but I will promise that I'll get you through it if you don't fight me."
I rolled my eyes. "I'd be stupid to fight you. You're Hulk Hogan to my Pee Wee Herman."
Justice laughed. "It's not about the size. With wolves, it's about dominance. That is more a personality trait than a physical thing."
"Even then, you beat me there too."
"You're young. I'm eighty years old, you're what, sixteen?"
"Nineteen," I said softly, then realized what he'd said. "Wait, you're eighty?"
"Wolves age differently than humans. Once you've shifted, your aging will slow. You could live to be several hundred years old. You'll look twenty until you near a hundred probably. Anyway, as I said, you have a lot of growing up to do. There is no telling what level of dominance you'll be once you shift. I've seen men smaller than you who are alphas, and men bigger than me who are at the other end of the spectrum. It's something you'll feel once you shift, something we sense and even smell on others. Kurt is our alpha, and as such, the feelings he can give off, the power that emanates from him, it's enough to take a big man like me to my knees in fear if he feels the need to do so. That's why it's important to find a good alpha who doesn't abuse his power."
"And Kurt doesn't?" I'd talked to Kurt a bit while they were deciding my fate, and while I knew he was the leader, I hadn't felt anything powerful coming from him.
"He is a great alpha. He respects everyone who deserves respect and treats us as equals for the most part. There are times he needs to take control and force his power on us, but every single time, most of us agree with his use of it." Justice sat back. "You need to know, because I am the one who is going to bite you, and that will give me power over you. Much in the same way we bow to the alpha, you will bow to me. It's so I can control your wolf once the shift first happens. I can keep you from going rogue and making mistakes that could easily get you killed. Your hunger right after the change is at its strongest, which also means you are going to be at your most dangerous point. I won't be leaving you alone until you get that under control. We can't risk having you out there attacking humans."
I sighed. "There is so much to learn. Is there a book or something on all this I can read?"
"It's not safe for us to have things like that. Kurt has a collection of journals and histories, but those are kept somewhere safe so humans can't ever find them."
"Does it hurt? When you bite me?"
"It will be like a bad dog bite. It will hurt, and in time, it will seem infected. You are going to have flu-like symptoms after a few weeks, high fever, vomiting, hunger, and severe arousal. You're going to hate life right before the change happens, and probably right after too."
I blinked, wondering if death would have been a better option. "This scares me."
"Would you rather I not tell you and just let it all happen?"
Part of me would have rather not known, but then the wondering would kill me. I was scared enough. I needed to know what was going to happen so I could try not to fear it as badly as I was. "I want to know, but it doesn't ease my mind." I rubbed my sweaty palms down my pant legs. "So, what was that about arousal?"
Justice grinned. "Right before and directly after the shift, your hormones will be running high. You'll masturbate constantly, and fuck anyone or anything you can get near. It's the worst part if you ask me. I'm glad I was born a shifter and never had to experience it. I hear it's a burning need that you can't sate."
I'd never even had sex before. How the hell was I going to handle that kind of arousal? "So you're saying I should plan on watching a lot of porn and invest in lube?"
"If that is what works for you. If not, we can fuck. I need to know before we get to that point if that is what you do or don't want because once you start feeling the need, you will beg for me to help you, but I will only do that if we've agreed to it beforehand. I won't touch you if you tell me it's not what you want, no matter how you beg me to. And trust me, you will beg for it."
"You'd fuck me?"
"If that's what you wanted."
"You're gay?"
Justice smiled. "As a wolf, we are raised to accept sex with either sex. There is a preference in a way, but we know that if we are lucky enough to find our mate that it could be either male or female. We don't think like humans do when it comes to sexuality. We think of sex as sex. It's an activity you do. It doesn't matter who it's with. I've been with both men and women in the past, but I have a preference for men. I seek them out more than I do women." He watched me closely. "I'm guessing you haven't been with a man?"
I blushed, my cheeks heating so quickly that I was sure they were bright red. "I've never been with anyone."
Justice raised a brow. "Oh."
"Is that a problem?"
"Not a problem, but it doesn't change what is going to happen. You will want sex. If you think you can handle it by jacking off non-stop leading up to the shift, then you can try. If you can't be with a man, then I can see if one of the females will come out and assist you, but since I'm going to be the one around you all of the time, I promise you'll be begging me to help you as well. It's just the way things are. You will beg anyone at the time to ease the burn and need that is consuming you."
What the fuck had I gotten myself into? "I'm not sure I can do this."
"You have a choice. I can take you out back and kill you tonight if that's the choice you make."
I swallowed hard. "The change could kill me too, right?"
"It could, but that is very rare. The biggest risk from the change is after it happens. If you lose control and let your wolf take over, I would have to kill you, but with me planning on being with you all the time after, the risk of that happening is very slim. It's the newl
y changed wolves who don't have someone with them that lose themselves."
"Fuck." I stared out the large window that looked over the front yard. "What else do I need to know?"
"Nothing right now. Unless you want me to, I won't bite you until tomorrow. I'll give you tonight to think things over. Once I bite you, things will seem normal for a couple of weeks, then the fever starts. From there, you'll feel things starting to change. You'll sleep more, your hunger will increase, you'll crave meat, mostly rare or even raw. You'll get headaches, fevers, you'll have dreams, and night sweats. Then you'll be horny all the time. Your cock will have a mind of its own. You'll always want to be touching yourself, making yourself come."
"You keep stressing the sex." I wasn't sure if that was because Justice enjoyed teasing me about that part or if it was really going to be the worst part.
"Because you need to be ready for it. The fever, headaches, all of that will be like the worst case of the flu you've ever had, but the sexual need, that will be what gets you, especially if you've never really dealt with it before."
"I've been aroused before," I protested.
"Not like this, you haven't. I promise. Even I haven't been through what you are going to go through." Justice took a drink. "So, you'll need to decide soon if you'll want us having sex to ease the pain, me to find you a female, or if you want to go it alone. As for the rest, I'll make sure I have stuff for the headaches, fevers, and plenty of meat, but it's not going to be easy. As I said, you have weeks after I bite you to prepare."
I didn't like this at all. "And the bite? Where will you bite me?"
"That's up to you. You can decide where the bite will be placed, if you want. You'll have a small scar from it that won't heal completely, but once you shift, most scars will heal easily unless very severe. So I suggest you pick a place you won't mind having a scar. I don't need to bite hard, but they say the harder the bite, the faster the change happens. I'm not sure if that is true, but it's what I've heard."