by E. M. Leya
"You'll get used to things." Justice smiled back at me. "Don't try to understand it all right away. For now, focus on eating, then take a nap with Tavish and let your body recover."
I glanced at Tavish's wolf and snarled.
A wave of power hit me and I whimpered.
"Stop that. Tavish is your mate. I get the feelings you suddenly have for him are overwhelming, but there is no reason for you to attack and growl at him. He's my twin and you will respect him for that reason alone. Whatever you choose to do about being mates is your choice, but I won't tolerate disrespect to any other wolf." Justice set a plate with two thick, raw steaks down on the floor beside me.
I didn't hesitate to start eating, nearly swallowing the first steak whole in my hunger.
"Slow down. Just because you're a wolf doesn't mean you don't still need manners." Justice set another steak down for Tavish, who brushed his body against Justice's leg before turning to slowly eat.
I watched cautiously as I continued to eat. I didn't trust either of these men. While they might have helped me up until now, I wasn't sure what to feel now that I was a wolf. My wolf wanted to run, hunt, and kill, but from the power and authority that Justice sent my way, I was sure that wasn't going to happen. I didn't like being controlled. I was my own person, and now, with the new power surging inside me, I wanted to be free. For once in my life I felt strong enough not to be a victim. I could go out and take on the world, showing everyone who tried to keep me down just how strong I really was.
"I can smell your desires," Justice warned me. "You won't be leaving the house today, so get those thoughts out of your mind. I'm going to shift back to my wolf and we are all going to spend the day being lazy. Once you get used to being with us, we might think about letting you outside where you can interact with others, but if you can't respect us, we aren't letting you be around others and put them in danger."
I had to wonder if I could be a danger to these other wolves. Both of them seemed more powerful than I was. I didn't understand the power thing really well, just that there was some hum of energy that came off each wolf, and through it, I seemed to understand they were stronger and held more authority than I did. I wondered if there were other wolves weaker than me as well. I hated to think that even in the wolf world, I would be the weaker one, just as I had been as a human.
Justice put a plate down for himself and shifted. I finished my food quickly and watched, still hungry as Tavish and Justice ate theirs. As the shock and newness wore off and the hunger eased, I found myself listening to Justice and Tavish softly bark at each other. It wasn't a forceful bark, but more a soft form of communication that I was shocked to find I understood. They were talking in a way only wolves would understand. The comfortable ease between them was obvious, but so was the distrust and caution they had toward me. They didn't trust me a bit, but that was probably a good thing, because I was sure if I had a chance to get outside, I would run and never look back. I didn't want to be trapped inside the house.
As I took a drink of water from the bowl that Justice kept on the floor, I focused more on the pull to Tavish that I now felt. It was strange. A longing to be near him, a pull to protect him, a jealousy to have what he seemed to share with his twin. I wanted his acceptance, his attention, but then there was also a part of me that wanted to fight it. I hated needing anyone, and I really didn't like the fact that I didn't seem to have a choice in this. It should have been my choice who I mated, not some unknown power that chose it for me.
Tavish finished his steak and came over toward me. He paused, staring at me for a moment before brushing his body against mine. His scent was strong, and by rubbing against me, the smell of him covered and mixed with my own, forming an arousing aroma that I couldn't help but inhale. I wanted to bury my face into his fur, rub my scent against him, but I held back, refusing to give in to whatever this was between us.
Justice gave a quick bark, then raced out of the room. Instinct had me chasing him, not to attack, but playfully as if it was a game of tag. I was aware of Tavish running beside me, and while I was aware he could probably move faster than me, he never left my side.
Was this how it was always going to be? Would we be together always, never free to do our own thing? I didn't like that thought. I could only imagine that because Tavish was stronger than I was that we would always do what he wanted, do things his way, and that wasn't how I was going to live.
I paused as we came to Justice's bedroom door. I'd never been inside his room. I glanced around, finding it simple. There wasn't much to show who he was. The dresser top was bare, the nightstand holding only an alarm clock and lamp. There were a couple of photos on the walls, but nothing more than forest pictures. I'd expected at least some photo of his twin or some item on the dresser that would say something about Justice, but there was nothing.
Justice jumped up on his bed, circled several times, then eased down with his back against a stack of pillows.
Tavish followed him in, jumping up, and after circling the same way Justice had, he settled down, curling up against his brother and resting against him with a soft huff.
I stared at the two who watched me, wanting to join them, but then not sure I should. I didn't want to need anyone, didn't want to allow them the control I was sure they already had over me. I wanted to fight them to allow me to go, to be my own person. This was the part of being wolf I feared the most. The connection, the control, the lack of independence I now had. Justice had warned me. Once I shifted, I belonged to the pack. In time, I'd have to swear to Kurt that I was part of his pack. I was no longer my own person. I no longer got to do anything I wanted to. I was theirs to control. While it was better than death, it still sucked. I'd given everything up to survive, and now that I'd shifted, I needed to find a way to escape them and start my own life over again, free somewhere they could never find me.
CHAPTER TEN
Tavish
In the three days since Mark shifted, he'd seemed distant. I'd hoped he would accept our being mates, but he hadn't. He stuck by Justice more than he did me, and that hurt. I loved him, whether he knew or understood that, I couldn't be sure.
"You need to shift back to human." Justice's voice was firm as he stared down at Mark, who had the nerve to growl at him.
Justice sent a wave of power that had Mark whimpering and I fought not to jump between them and protect my mate. Justice was right, Mark needed to shift. He should have done it days ago. We were now to the point that if he didn't shift, there was a risk of him being stuck in wolf form. Our next option would be to call Kurt out to command the shift. If a strong alpha like Kurt couldn't make it happen, no one could.
We hadn't called him yet, but Justice and I discussed it over coffee when we'd woken up. We didn't hide the conversation from Mark, allowing him to hear our concerns and reasoning for why he had to let his human side out.
"Let your human come forward. He's right there in your mind, ready to step out. Let him. You can't remain a wolf, Mark. It's not allowed. We'll let you shift back later, but we need to talk, let your human out." Justice's voice was demanding.
I touched my brother's shoulder, pausing him as I tried to work through the mating bond I shared with Mark, hoping emotion and love might work better than Justice's anger. "Mark, can you come out and talk to us? Let us sit down and have a beer and talk over what's happened. I want to spend time with you, go out for a walk, go for a drive, but until you show that you are willing to shift, we can't do any of that. Wouldn't you like to go out for a burger or something, get out of the house for a bit?"
There was a flicker in Mark's dark eyes, but that was it. I hated that I had to allow Justice to be the one in control. This was my mate, and seeing my brother have such power over him was hard to swallow. I trusted Justice, and I understood why things were the way they were, but I wanted to be the one to guide Mark through all this. I wanted to be his crutch, his strength, the one he looked to so he could learn what being a wolf meant.
> "If you think my power over you is strong, Kurt's will be even worse. I'm going to call him to come out and force you to shift if you don't do it on your own. I don't want to see you in pain, but if Kurt comes out, the power he holds will take you to the ground and keep you there. My power over you is nothing compared to an alpha's power." Justice knelt down in front of Mark. "Just shift for a bit so we can talk, then you can shift back."
The more we got Mark to shift, the easier it would be for him to continue to do so. Still, I didn't think he was going to do it. He seemed too content to stay in his wolf form. He still avoided me for the most part, but I could catch the way his scent changed when we were close to one another. He liked me, I aroused him, and I was sure the mating pull was as hard for him to ignore as it was for me.
Without warning, Mark lunged at Justice, biting him hard on the arm.
"Get out, Tavish. You won't tolerate me disciplining him." Justice's control was pressing through the room.
I understood what he was saying, but had to force myself to walk out of the house and leave them alone. The urge to protect my mate was strong, and while I knew that Justice needed to take control of this situation, and couldn't do that with me there, I hated that I was leaving Mark at his mercy.
I sensed Justice shift to his wolf form as I walked out of the house, then I heard him growl and felt the wave of his authority wash over the house. It didn't affect me as he hadn't bitten me, but I could still sense the power, the drive to control Mark.
I sank down on the porch steps, trying not to think about what was going on inside the house. I needed to leave this to Justice to handle, but hated I couldn't be part of it. Maybe it would be best if I left while Mark adjusted to all this, but just the thought of leaving him left me feeling an emptiness I'd never known before. I needed to be by Mark's side, that's just the way it was.
To my shock, I heard Mark growling back at Justice, challenging his authority. I wasn't worried, Justice had control. He'd been nice to Mark, allowing him to growl and act like a rebellious teenager in a way, but I sensed Justice's patience had reached its end, and rightfully so. Mark needed to be put in his place.
I was pretty sure that Justice had gone easy on Mark because I was there and he wasn't sure how I would react to seeing my mate bossed around. It wasn't easy, and I understood why Justice was cautious, but more than anything, I wanted my mate safe, and if he wouldn't do what he needed to, then Justice had no choice but to assert his power and force things.
Again, I wondered if I should leave until Justice got things under control. It would make things easier for them, but not for me. Just the thought of being away from Mark caused a physical ache that was worse than anything I'd ever felt before.
More growling came from the house, then what sounded like a small fight before Mark started to whimper. There were several yelps of pain, then more silence. I hated not knowing what exactly was going on, but as long as I was sure that both men were safe and that Justice had control of the situation, I would stay out of it.
Frustrated, I got up and walked across the yard, focusing on the area where Justice had started to work on the recording studio. My brother was amazing, and I never took for granted the things he did to help my career. I wished I had a way to help him, but the only talent I had was singing, and other than money, that didn't bring much in the way of anything I could give back to him.
The sound of my phone ringing was a welcome distraction. I smiled, seeing it was Jackson, my lead guitarist and best friend. I quickly answered, "hello?"
"Hey, how are things going? You restless and ready to get back on the road?" He sounded relaxed, and I could picture him sitting on the deck at his house, a beer in hand as he enjoyed the afternoon sun.
Jackson and I had been friends for years, having met when we were kids. His father and mine had been neighbors, both very active in the pack, and it had been easy to form a friendship with Jackson with as much time as we spent together. Justice and I had moved in with them when our own father had died. Forming a band had been his idea, and it hadn't been hard to find other pack members to join us once we put the idea into action.
"Actually, no. Something's come up that might keep me here for a while." I kicked at the dirt with the toe of my shoe, wondering what would happen with Mark and how long it might take for the two of us to work through this mating issue. "I've found my mate."
"No shit?" Jackson whistled. "Wow, that is fantastic news. Who is he or she? Someone visiting pack?"
Explaining what had happened, I continued to walk through the yard, trying hard not to guess what was going on inside the house. "The problem is, he's fighting it all. I always thought I'd meet my mate and it would all be instant on both sides. It's not."
"He just shifted for the first time. It might take time for the mating bond to settle in for him. I don't know how all that works for a newly bitten wolf, but I imagine it's different for them than it is for those of us born into it. Do you like him?"
"He's my mate, of course, I do." It wasn't like I could hate my mate.
"No, I mean, if he wasn't your mate, is he the type you'd pick up and take back to the hotel after a show? Is he your type?"
I thought about that for a moment. "No, not really. He's younger than most I'd take to bed, but he's not bad looking. It's hard to tell. He's been going through the changes of becoming a wolf, so he was lost in a fog of hunger and arousal. I honestly haven't had time to get to know him yet."
"Shit, I forgot about that sexual need I've heard they go through. Was it as crazy as they say?"
"Worse." I thought about all the sex we'd had. "I enjoyed it, but even I was tired and sore after so much. It was crazy how bad the need was for him. It was like he was in physical pain until I took care of him. Not something I'd want to see anyone go through again."
"Can I come over and meet him when I get home?" Jackson asked.
"Not yet. Justice is struggling to get him to shift back to human form. We might have to call Kurt out to the house to handle it. Once things settle, I'll have you over to meet him, or bring him to the pack house so he can get used to all of us. Honestly, I have no clue what's going to happen. I'm worried he may not want me. Even in wolf form, he's not showing any signs he feels this bond between us."
"Give him time. It's all new. It's not like you can ignore that shit when it hits, right? Everyone says it's so intense that you can't stand to be apart."
"Yeah, it's like that for me, but not for him. I hate I wasn't the one to bite him. It's so hard seeing Justice take control. Justice just kicked me out of the house so I didn't get in the way while Justice tried to force him to shift back. I never thought anything could come between the twin thing, but I have to admit, there have been times the last few days where I thought I was going to attack Justice for being too close to my mate."
"You should get away for a bit. Give Justice the time to do what he needs to," Jackson said.
"I might later, but right now, I don't want to leave until I make sure Justice has this under control. I don't want to risk Mark not shifting back. He's my mate. I'll be damned if I'm going to let him get stuck in wolf form and lose himself. I've waited too long to find my mate. Jesus, Jackson, can you believe it? I've found my mate. I never dared dream that could really happen." I blew out an overwhelmed breath. "It's so rare."
"It is. Which is why I'm jealous as hell, but so fucking happy for you. This will all work out. It might not be the way you always saw it happening, but the fact it's happening at all is pretty amazing. Gives me hope I might have a mate out there somewhere. Anyway, keep me posted, and you know my door is always open if you need to get away for a bit. I won't be home for a week or more, but you know how to get in if you need to."
"I will." I was thankful he didn't push to get together right now. "I'll keep in touch. Thanks, Jacks." I disconnected the call and turned to stare back at the house. If Mark had shifted, Justice would have called for me. This wasn't good. I wasn't sure why Mark was figh
ting this so hard, but it was only going to get worse. He needed to shift today. He couldn't stay in that form any longer. One way or another, Justice and I needed to do something because the thought of Mark facing Kurt had my stomach turning.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Mark
I hated this. Justice wouldn't get out of my face and I was tired of listening to him. I paced the room, my wolf restless and wanting to get out of the house and run. I didn't want to shift back to the pathetic human I'd always been. I loved the power I felt as a wolf. It was amazing how strong I was now. The power and energy coursed through me. I no longer was the weak boy who had been pushed around and bullied all my life. Now, I was a strong wolf who could defend myself and take on anyone who came at me.
Except for Justice.
Hard as I tried, I couldn't take him on. He kept hitting me with some magical type of energy that caused my entire body to react. It left a buzzing in my head and forced my body to submit to him no matter how hard I tried not to. Still, I refused to shift back. I'd take whatever Justice pushed at me. I was staying wolf and that was just how it was going to be.
"Listen, Mark, I don't want to call Kurt, but if you don't shift, I'm going to have no choice. Give me an hour in your human form, then you can shift back. Take some time in human form to eat and shower, then we can go outside and get some fresh air in wolf form tonight, maybe run through the forest a bit if you're still not fighting me this way. Don't make this harder on any of us than it needs to be."
I wondered if the glare I was casting him showed through my wolf's eyes. I wasn't scared of Kurt. I'd resisted Justice's power. I could do the same to Kurt's. Why anyone would choose to not stay a wolf was beyond me. I loved it. For the first time in my life, I was the predator. I was the one who was in control. No way was I going back to human form so they could overpower me. Not that I really thought Justice or Tavish would, but others wouldn't hesitate.