Here With You
Page 23
“You don’t like me.”
“You sound like a spoiled teenager right now.”
“See?” Grace sniffed, unsure where this was going. Having a heart to heart with her estranged sister the day after her boyfriend’s mom told her to get the hell out of his life was not where she pictured herself.
“I don’t not like you. We’re different. You know I don’t do this.” Alexis waved her hand between them. “The emotions. The talking.”
“We haven’t talked in years.”
“I know. A lot of that is my fault.”
“What? Who are you and what have you done with my sister?”
“Funny. Honestly?” Oh, there goes that word again, slapping her in the face. “I’ve always been a bit jealous of you.”
“Of me?”
“Again. The teenage dramatics. One of the reasons I never talked to you about... life.”
“What was there to be jealous about? You were the one with all the friends. Miss popular. Everyone in town knew who you were. You were Grumpy’s favorite. He practically willed the entire vineyard to you when you were in high school. Your future was mapped out for you all pretty, and I had no direction. No friends.”
“Um, are we remembering the same Grace Le Blanc? How many boys climbed up the maple outside my window to sneak across into your room? Not until Ben did a guy climb that tree for me.”
“Ben climbed the maple?” Grace crossed her palms over her heart. “That’s so sweet.”
“I know.” Alexis blushed and lowered her head.
“Boys only climbed up because they wanted to get laid. They had no interest in me.”
“Same thing.”
“Is it?”
That caused Alexis to pause. Her face softened, and she curled her lips in as if thinking of an appropriate response. “You always seemed so... put together. Pretty. Nice clothes. Makeup always in place. You laughed a lot. Always had a party to go to while I stayed home and worked in the vineyard.”
“The clothes, the makeup. They were a mask, Alexis. I lived the ‘mind over matter’ mantra. I thought if I looked the part, I’d be happy.”
“You fooled me.”
“And myself. For too damn long I fooled myself.”
“You’re not happy with Brady?”
Tears welled up in her throat. Grace brought her knees to her chest and hugged them tight. “I’ve never been happier. He’s perfect in so many ways. In all the ways that matter. When I’m with him I feel... worthy.”
“So what went wrong?”
“You don’t,” Grace shook her head, “you don’t want to know.”
“I may not want to, but will it help to have someone to talk to? Did you tell Mom and Dad?”
“No. I can’t tell them. They’ll never look at me the same way again.”
“I doubt that. You’re Dad’s princess.”
“More like the town whore.”
“Please don’t tell me you cheated on Brady.”
“Oh my God! Never.”
“Okay, so what is it?”
“My past. I did stuff I’m not proud of, and it’s come back to remind me of what I am.”
“Which is what?”
“I can’t,” Grace whispered.
Alexis slid up the bed and squeezed herself between the wall and Grace. They’d never done this before, sat in bed, or even on a couch, and talked. Shared secrets. Cried. So much of Grace wanted to believe she could tell her sister the sordid details and not lose the new connection they were building.
“One thing Ben has taught me, you always need someone to talk to. There’s nothing wrong with leading a private life, but you need one person in your life you can tell the ugly truth to. Whether it be your best friend, your parents, your boyfriend.” Alexis squeezed Grace’s knee, the gesture new and awkward. “Your sister.”
“So if I tell you my secrets, you’ll tell me yours?” Grace attempted humor to lighten the moment.
“I’ve always wanted a sister I can share my ugly skeletons with.”
“They better be good because mine’s a doozy.”
“We gonna do the one-up game?”
“I’ve got you beat, hands down. No matter what you tell me, my skeletons are worse.”
Grace poured it all out. Every detail from her careless dating years to her attempt at fashion school, not even coming close to measuring up with the other men and women in the class. Her designs weren’t original enough. They were pretty but had been done over and over again.
It was when she was at her lowest, broke and afraid to come home, that she’d met Robert and fell for his promises.
“Holy shit.” Alexis let out a loud sigh. “Ho-ly. Shit.”
“Yeah.” Grace was quiet, letting her sister process. “So,” she said after a few minutes, “did I one-up you?”
“Frick. You one-upped Ben with his secret baby.” Alexis tapped her head against the wall. “I feel like I need a stiff drink. A shot of whiskey or something.”
“I wouldn’t say no to that. Or to Oreos. I have three packages of double stuffed in my apartment. Keys are on the floor. Maybe you could buy out all the magazines as well. Can’t wait for the rest of the town to see the pictures. ”
“I thought you said it was an old magazine from last summer. If anyone around here had seen it, you would’ve heard about it by now.”
“Maybe.” She sniffed.
“And Dorothy told you to keep this from Brady?”
“Yeah. Which is why I’m avoiding him.”
“He could find out some other way.”
“Maybe. I need to break it off with him, but he’ll want to know why. Telling him I’m a dirty whore didn’t work the first time. Or the second.”
“You didn’t.”
“Maybe not in those exact words. I tried to stop things before they started, and he refused to listen to reason.”
“He loves you.”
“Better to have loved and lost...” Grace waved her hand through the air, unable to finish the statement, her heart too heavy with grief of what she was about to lose.
“I like Dorothy.”
Grace snorted. “She’s yet to show her nice side to me.”
“She’s jealous of you taking Brady from her.”
“You think?”
“I know. Anyway, I like her, but this isn’t her decision to make. You need to tell Brady. If he truly loves who you are now, he’ll be able to look past your... past.”
“I don’t think so. You’re still having a hard time processing. I know you’re trying not to picture the scene. Brielle walking in on me and Robert.”
“I don’t know who they are, but I can only imagine. Scratch that. I don’t want to imagine.”
“You’re better off.”
“You know what I think?”
“Yeah.”
“I think you need to tell him the truth.”
“Not what I thought you were going to say.” Grace climbed out of bed. “I have to pee.” She padded across the hall and took care of business. While washing her hands she lifted her head and looked in the mirror. “Shit.”
She hadn’t looked in the mirror since she’d finished putting groceries away and prepped herself for hanging out with Mrs. Marshall for the day.
After nine hundred bouts of crying, Grace figured her makeup had to be completely wiped away. Well, it was. From her eyes.
Four coats of mascara blackened under her eyes and half her cheeks. Damn waterproof mascara holding up to its name. She peeled off the remaining false eyelashes. Taking a washcloth from the cabinet, she scrubbed her face and pulled her hair back into a ponytail.
“That’s an improvement,” her sister said from the bed. “You must be hungry. Mom and Dad went to Rockland for the day. Let’s go raid their kitchen.”
“They’re avoiding me.”
“No. Actually, they wanted to come upstairs with me. I told them I’d take care of you. Asked if they could give us some privacy.”
Grace
stopped midway on the stairs. “You did?”
Alexis shrugged. “When I found out about Ben’s baby, the last people I wanted to face were Mom and Dad. No offense, rents,” she called down the stairwell, even though they weren’t home.
“No offense, but the last person I thought about talking to was you.” Alexis barked out a laugh. “For real. I wanted to. Wanted to have a sister to talk to and wished you didn’t hate me and judge me so I could talk to you.”
“I’ve been a real bitch, haven’t I?”
They were still in the middle of the stairwell, sharing the same step, facing each other.
“I’ve been calling it passive aggressive.”
“You know what I really didn’t like about you when you came home?”
“You’re supposed to be making me feel better, remember?”
“I hated how sweet you were. How all my friends, whom I’ve just made in the past few years, all loved you. I hated how Ben thought you were cool and would tell me about The Closet and how proud he was of you. I hated how my daughter loved all the ugly girly things you got her. And I hated how you never responded to any of my one hundred percent intentional passive aggressive bitchy retorts.”
“Wow.”
“And I hated how Brady Marshall took one look at you and fell in love. And you were so innocent to it all. You didn’t ask for the attention. I noticed how you declined some of the invitations from our friends.”
She said our friends. Damn tears were coming back.
“I noticed how kind you were to everyone. How humble. How insecure. I wanted to be your friend as well and didn’t know how.”
“Alexis.” New tears fell. Not from pain and hurt, but of a new kind of love. Grace opened her arms and squeezed her sister tight, holding on for dear life.
“My hair,” her sister mumbled, sniffing from below. Grace towered over Alexis by a good five inches. “Your snot and tears are soaking my scalp.”
Chuckling and wiping her nose with the back of her hand, Grace pulled away.
“Very ladylike. Go wash your hands. I’ll make breakfast.” Alexis marched down the stairs first, most likely wanting to hide her own tears.
There was still one more secret. Arianna had hooked her up with a lease in Boston. Grace’s dream of opening The Closet in a big city would be coming true.
And she’d be leaving Crystal Cove.
Again.
Soon.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
“GRACE. HONEY. WHAT is going on?” Brady let himself into Grace’s apartment with the key she’d given him last month and wrapped her in his arms, pressing her into his body. Relief had flooded him when he drove by and saw her car in the parking lot. “You’ve got me worried senseless. Where’ve you been?”
He pulled back, holding on to her shoulders with his hands, searching her face for clues, signs of where she’d been for the past two days. Her body was limp under his hands, not the strong Grace he knew and loved.
“What happened?”
She blinked rapidly and looked over his shoulder. “We need to talk.”
His mouth grew dry, and the breakfast sandwich he had for breakfast grew hard as a rock in the pit of his stomach. “When you say it like that it sounds...” Not good.
He loosened his grip on her shoulders, and her body swayed away from him. “We should sit.”
Her eyes remained downcast, and it wasn’t until she moved herself to the couch and sat that he noticed her clothes.
Sweatpants and a wrinkled sweatshirt. They were at the point in their relationship where he’d seen her in everything from her grannie panties, as she liked to call them, to her sleepwear. And his favorite, her birthday suit.
But Grace didn’t lounge around all day in her ratty old sweats. She took them out when she cleaned the apartment, and never wore them for long, and not because he enjoyed ripping them off her.
She was always put together. Her idea of “slumming it” was wearing leggings and a long shirt.
Today, hunched over like someone close to her had passed away, she looked like death herself.
“Honey.” Brady kneeled on the floor at her feet and took her hands in his. “What is it?” If someone close to her had died he’d have heard about it by now. Alexis would have said something.
“No. Don’t.” She shook her hands away from his. “You need to sit. Over there.” She pointed at the other end of the couch.
He moved and sat next to her, thigh to thigh. When she shifted away, he tried not to be offended.
“Honey, did I do something wrong?”
Her body flinched, and she made a snorting-sighing sound. “No. Never.”
“Then what is it?” He reached for her hands, but she tucked them under her thighs.
“I told you from the beginning we weren’t right for each other.”
“No. You’re not doing this again. I love you. You know that. And I know you love me. Whatever it is that’s got you doubting yourself and me, we’ll get through it.” He rubbed her lower back, and she arched away from him.
Jumping to her feet, she turned to him, fists clenched. “Don’t touch me. I can’t... I can’t do this if you touch me.”
“Honey.”
“And don’t honey me. I can’t.” She clawed at her scalp and lifted her hair by its roots. “There’s a lot about me you don’t know. I’m not proud of the choices I’ve made. I did some... things I’d rather keep hidden forever.”
“Grace, the past is the past. It’s the now that matters.”
“That’s easy to say when you don’t know how ... messed up I am. I was.”
“I love you, Grace. Nothing you can say can change that.”
“Really?” For the first time since he entered her apartment, she looked up at him. Her green eyes round and scared, the whites of her eyes red as if she’d been crying. “Even after seeing this?”
She took a piece of paper from the deep pocket of her sweats and unfolded it. Brady took it from her with confusion.
A sour, bitter tang coated his mouth. The pictures singed his eyes. The woman he loved, with only a black censored line covering up her breasts—breasts he knew too well—and a skimpy black thong lay sprawled out on a bed.
According to the article, the bed of a married man, his wife pregnant with their child at the time.
Brady violently rolled his shoulders, his skin tightening with unfamiliar rage under his shirt.
“What’s this?” he croaked out. “Is this true?”
She nodded, her face void of expression.
Brady closed his eyes, a poor attempt to clear his head of the images in the magazine. The other one with her wearing a barely-there dress showed her clinging to a man twice her age.
“I slept with him in hopes of getting a job in the fashion industry. He had connections.”
Wadding up the clipping, he tossed it aside. “Is he backing your shop?”
“No. I didn’t get a dime from him.”
“And you’re angry about that.”
Grace sneered. “Of course not. He’s slime. I’m ashamed I ever stooped that low in order to build my career. I was an idiot.”
“Had you not been caught...” Brady needed to know. Was this the life she wanted? Sleeping with famous men, rich men? Traveling the world and staying in fancy hotels? He couldn’t give her this life.
“I don’t even have the right to be insulted by that comment. Honestly?” She snorted and shook her head, an internal monologue happening that he’d like to be a part of. “Honesty. You deserve honesty.”
“That would be nice.” He needed her to talk because he didn’t know what to say.
He listened quietly while she told him how she first met this Robert asshole. The empty promises. Her failure at making it big in Paris.
Brady’s first reaction was shock. This was the love of his life sprawled out for another man. They both knew there were previous lovers, but they didn’t dwell on it. That, unfortunately, was a part of their lives.
The manly pride in him was embarrassed to be with a woman who now graced gossip magazines. Who knowingly carried on with a married man in order to advance her career.
“I’m going to need time.”
“I know. I can apologize until I’m old and gray, but it won’t take back who I was.”
“I’m going to need some space, but we’ll work through it.” He still couldn’t touch her, afraid he’d forgive her secrets too quickly when he needed time to process.
“Work it out?” Grace jumped back. “We can’t work it out.”
“We agreed when we first started dating to keep the past in the past. I would have liked to know about this before the rest of the world, but you’re right—this isn’t who you are anymore. This isn’t the Grace Le Blanc I fell in love with.”
“No. You don’t love me anymore.”
“Unless you’ve changed who you are now, yeah, I still do.”
“You can’t.” She backed away even further, fear across her face.
“Why?”
“You want honesty. I can’t do this.”
“Do what? Us?”
“Brady.” She closed her eyes and bit her lip. This time it wasn’t a flirtatious move, but one of pure pain. “I’m not staying in Crystal Cove. I’m moving at the end of the summer. That had always been my plan. I never meant to stay.”
“You’re ... leaving?”
Dealing with shady pasts, he could get through, but Grace moving...
“I wasn’t meant to live in a small town. As soon as people learn about my past, I’ll be blackballed, just as I was in Paris. One of my designers offered me a lease in Boston. I’ll be opening another The Closet store there in a couple months.”
“Your store here.”
“I’ll hire an assistant manager and run it from afar. I’ll check in when I come home to visit my family.”
“You’ve had this all planned. Leaving us. Leaving me.”
She bit her lip again and slowly nodded.
“You never had any intention of making this, making us, last.”