The Dawn King (The Moon People, Book Five)

by Claudia King

  A few times after she went to Alpha Khelt's pack she had touched herself the same way he was touching her now, reliving those fond memories they'd shared together, but eventually it had brought her more pain than pleasure, and she had stopped. Now she wished she never had.

  Lifting her gown over her shoulders, she sat up before Jarek, her body bare to him. A hint of shyness coloured her cheeks. She was used to being naked in front of others when she bathed, but not like this. It had always made her uncomfortable when men looked at her the way he was now.

  Jarek smiled at her hesitation. When she glanced away he touched her chin so that she would look at him again. He wanted to see all of her. Every moment of anxiousness, every moment of doubt. The things she saw as weakness, he saw as beauty. Taking her in his arms again, he kissed her once more, and this time the touch of bare skin filled her with such excitement that she never wanted it to end. Her nipples tightened against his chest, pale white skin upon earthy dark. She felt his hands move to her breasts, squeezing gently, then firmer. He still remembered what she liked. His mouth moved down her neck to her collarbone, hot kisses burning a wake of passion across her skin. Something squeezed the breath from her lungs, expelling it in a tight gasp of ecstasy as his teeth tugged at her nipple. The way he touched her reminded her of the first time they had made love. Quick, firm, and almost impatient, but this time there was no fumbling or hesitation. He wanted her desperately, and he knew she wanted him.

  As Jarek caressed her body she felt the urgency of a starving man in his touch, the same urgency that had tormented her after the night they had kissed. Had the separation been as difficult for him as it had for her? Suddenly she felt horrible for pushing him away. She stroked his shoulders and kissed the top of his head, squeezing him close. If the spirits had asked her in that moment whether she wanted to undo the last dozen and a half years and go back to the day of their parting, she would have said yes. This time she would not have gone to Alpha Khelt. With Jarek she would have gone into the wilderness to live far away from the Moon and Sun People, forsaking her future as a den mother. She would have gladly lived her life as no one. Only as his.

  More tears might have come to her eyes had Jarek not started kissing her again, then she was absorbed by the warmth of his lips. Her mouth moved over his body the same way he had explored hers, sucking at his neck, kissing his nipples, stroking her tongue along the curve of every beautiful muscle until her mouth was dry. Feeling the hardness between his legs, she loosened the cord at the front of his leggings and slipped her hand inside. His manhood twitched at the touch of her fingers, straining against her as she gripped it. She stroked him slowly, letting her excitement build as he swelled within her palm. But what if it was not the same this time? For an instant she was almost afraid, wondering whether after so many years alone she might have lost the ability to feel what she'd felt before.

  She need not have worried. Jarek pressed her down against the cot, shedding the last of his clothing as he eased her legs apart. He kissed her gently, letting her guide the bulge of his glans to her outer lips. Another shiver of pleasure ran up Adel's spine.

  “Quickly,” she gasped, unable to wait any longer. Jarek eased her hands away and leaned forward, one palm upon her shoulder while the other caressed her hip. She felt as tense and tight as she'd been the day he first took her, but the warmth and wetness of her body drew him in without resistance. There was only the briefest pinch of discomfort, then her legs wrapped around his midsection to make sure he kept going. A groan of pleasure left Jarek's lips. Nothing else seemed to matter any more. She reached for his hands, letting his fingers intertwine with hers as he pinned her arms down either side of her head, trapping her between the feathery softness of the cot and the firm press of his hips. An animal whimper escaped Adel's throat, making her flush again in embarrassment when she realised she'd made it. She hated losing control of herself like that. Earlier, with Thakayn, it had felt awful when her composure cracked, but now there was something pure about the release. She saw the way Jarek's face flared with passion when she made that sound, and when he moved his hips she made it again for him. Soon the lingering shame was gone, leaving only pleasure as she writhed her body beneath his, delighting in the intensity of everything he was making her feel. He dove into her with the passion she remembered from years ago, fast and breathless, stroking her deeply with a pace that left her burning for more.

  Every bit of ice that had ever frozen over Den Mother Adel's heart melted away atop that cot, leaving her bare to him in a way she'd not allowed herself to be in years. Only Netya had ever touched her so closely, and never in a way like this. It was wonderful. She could not bring herself to care about what might happen when they parted ways. For as long as they were together, she wanted Jarek to tell her stories, and make her laugh, and teach her to skip stones again, and then make love to her like this every night. Whether it was a day or a season, she'd not waste any more of their precious time together. What if their reunion had been a blessing after all? Even if it was shortlived, a lifetime of heartache might be worth it for just a few more moments like this.

  Jarek held her tight, his breath hot against her shoulder, arms around her waist as he pulled her into him. She cupped his neck and stroked his back, teeth digging into her lower lip, brow knotted in passion. It was impossible to hold back any longer. A fractured cry left her lips as the tingle of pleasure between her legs flared up and shot deep into her belly, seizing her muscles tight. Shuddering and straining, her body tried to contain the exquisite pleasure to no avail. Adel screamed Jarek's name, clawing his back and arching her body into his, hitting another crest of climax just as her first began to ebb. He moaned into her neck, kissing her fervently, the perspiration between their bodies heightening every touch of skin against skin. With one last thrust he pushed himself deep, the throb of pleasure running down his shaft as he buried himself inside her, holding himself there until a few shallow bucks spent the last of his essence within her body.

  It was over too soon for Adel. Anything would have been over too soon. Before he could speak, before the world beyond their room could remind them to stop, she began kissing him again, soft and slow this time, running her fingers through his braids and curling her tongue about his mouth until she felt him growing hard inside her again. She didn't want this to end, and neither did he. When he was ready they made love again, taking the time to savour each gentle movement, gazing at one another passionately until the urgency of release finally quickened their pace and Jarek spilled his seed within her a second time.

  In between kisses he tried to ask her why. Why now? What had happened to change her mind?

  “Just make love to me,” she answered each time. Words were not something Adel needed in that moment. They were beyond her. They held worries that would only bring the cold outside world back into focus. When Jarek was weary she rolled on top of him, kissing and caressing his body, tasting herself on his manhood as she took him into her mouth to coax him back to excitement yet again. Half a dozen times she brought him to the point of release, and he did the same for her many times more. In the interim they lay in each other's arms, quiet save for the sounds of their breathing and their murmurs of their pleasure. She'd never been willing to let any other man have her like this. She'd been too proud, or too afraid, or too saddened by the memories it might have evoked.

  Adel's spirit could have stayed entwined with Jarek's forever, but at last the exhaustion of their bodies finally brought them to a stop. She lay with her head next to his, one leg and one arm still around him, listening to the swell of his breath. Their lovemaking had carried them deep into the afternoon. Before the distant sounds of the temple could drag her out of her bliss she slipped into a peaceful doze, imagining her spirit as a fox curled up around Jarek. What would his spirit guardian have been? She pictured him as a young otter, quick and playful, before age made such beasts vicious. Time had not hardened Jarek's spirit the same way it had hers. If only she could
have been more like him.

  When Adel opened her eyes night had begun to fall. The domicile chamber was dim, orange light painting its way up the wall as the sun slid peacefully beneath the horizon. Bit by bit the outside world crept back into her thoughts, reminding her of all the things Jarek had momentarily allowed her to forget. They did not frighten her this time. A feeling of warmth still bloomed in her chest, preventing the den mother's worries from sinking their claws into her. She felt protected. At peace.

  Jarek stirred beside her, and together they washed themselves in the fresh water basins in the adjoining part of the domicile. They barely spoke, but every time Adel looked at him she felt herself smiling. She didn't have to push him away any more. All those hesitant glances, all of those words she'd forced herself to swallow, they no longer needed to trouble her. Her heart felt lighter than it had in years, almost as if it belonged to a different person. Letting go of what made her strong had always frightened her in the past, but not that evening. For as long as the screen stayed closed over the doorway, she did not have to be the den mother she had made of herself. So many things about that woman were heavy and hard, like the scales of armour Atalyn's warriors wore. She'd grown enough of those scales over her life that they'd started to define her. It was foolish to think she could shed them now, but for a time, at least, she might try to forget that they were there.

  They ate sweet fruits and grain meal together, and Adel set a pot over the hearth's embers to boil. The Sun People had a tea made from dried flowers that she enjoyed more than any drink from her homeland, and she stewed enough of it for both of them. Once they finished Jarek let the window drapes fall shut, then they went back to the cot together. They did not make love this time. Warm sleeping furs encircled their bodies, keeping off the evening chill as they caressed and held one another. Everything seemed right in that moment.

  “I've so many tales I could tell you of my life,” Jarek said. “But I've a feeling yours would put mine to shame. How did young Adel become a sorceress that even the alphas fear?”

  She told him, sparse and simple though her storytelling was. Unlike Jarek she had no sense for which details to embellish and which to pass over, nor could she do the same things with her voice that made his tales so dramatic to listen to. But he seemed not to mind, and so she did not worry about it. The last glow of daylight faded, leaving them in the dark with only the light of the fire flickering in its stony cradle.

  “Tell me a smaller story,” Jarek said once she had finished. He had her hand between his, tracing his thumbs over an old burn scar that ran up the heel of her palm. “How did all of these little marks change you?”

  “Those are not happy stories.”

  “That's why I want to hear them.” He touched her cheek, then kissed it. “Those kinds of memories shouldn't stay buried inside you.”

  “Why not?” she said defensively.

  The white of his teeth flashed in the darkness. “That's why I love you, Adel. Sometimes you're like a little pup refusing to come out of its den.”

  How was it that Jarek could make even his mockeries sound affectionate? She knew she should have been angry, but picturing herself as a growling little pup turned her indignation ticklish until it felt like laughter in her chest.

  “If you ever dared say that in front of my pack...”

  “I'd have my stubborn pup barking at me all night long.” He rolled on top of her, tickling her sides as she laughed and tried to push him away, until eventually the tangle of their limbs became an embrace. “Tell me though,” he said more sincerely, reaching for the scar on her palm again. “I want to know. The things I'll imagine otherwise will make me worry so much more.”

  She could hear the trace of pain in his voice. It spoke of the many sleepless nights he'd endured in years past, lying awake as dark spirits wormed through his thoughts to make him fret over all the terrible fates that might have befallen his love. She knew, because she'd faced many of those same nights herself.

  Easing him off her, she lay on her back and stared up into the darkness. Jarek waited patiently, propped up on one elbow so that he could watch her.

  “That scar was my own doing,” she said. “I pushed my hand into a fire to break my senses free of the spirit world. A huntress of Khelt's pack had poisoned me, and the elder seers were too slow in offering their help. I think some of them wanted me to die.” Her fingers traced the blistered skin, using it as a totem to take her mind back to those days. She felt her throat tightening at the memory. “I cannot truly hate them for it. There have been times when I've forgotten myself, Jarek. I always tried to be like Uriel. I tried to keep her light alive within my spirit, but sometimes it grew so dim I could barely tell it was still there. All I had then was my pride.” She swallowed, frightening herself with the honesty of her own words. These were thoughts that unsettled her so deeply she dared not admit them even to herself. But the glow in her chest was still protecting her, and it made her fears into things that she could grasp and understand. Speaking them aloud gave them even more substance, and once she saw them in that light they no longer seemed quite so frightening.

  “I was cold to Khelt's people,” she continued. “Cruel. I realised I could make people obey me the same way they had obeyed my father. Netya was one of them. Even when I wanted to help her I thought fear would work better than kindness. I don't know why half of those women followed me in the end.”

  “They were like me,” Jarek said. “They saw what was really in your soul.”

  “Maybe. I always tried my best to take care of them.” She rubbed her feet together beneath the furs, feeling the scarred blisters on her soles from the time she'd walked through fire to secure her pack's status at the great gathering. “The woman who poisoned me. I tormented her for it. I wanted to see her suffer. She came back to us years later, and I almost turned my own pack against me in my eagerness to punish her. That was only a few seasons ago.”

  Jarek nodded in the darkness. There was no judgement. No questioning. He only curled a lock of her black hair through his fingers and played with it against her shoulder. She was relieved not to have to speak of it any further. Much of the pain that had driven her to that dark place had been born of her love for Jarek, and only by forgetting him had she moved past it. They'd already spent enough time talking about letting go.

  His fingers paused mid way through following the curve of her shoulder. She tensed, and he tilted his head toward her. There was an old break in that shoulder, one that had left it slightly misshapen ever since.

  “What about this one?” he asked.

  Adel did not want to answer him. She'd never told anyone that tale, not even Netya. Only the seers who'd nursed her back to health afterwards might have guessed at why it happened, but they'd never dared to speak of it. Perhaps tonight she could finally share it with someone. If not Jarek, who else?

  “Did you think I was brave, going to Alpha Khelt's pack like I did?” she asked.

  “No one could have been braver.”

  “I wasn't always brave. I was just a girl. A child. There were nights afterwards when I'd stare out at the river and wonder whether I should just let it carry me away.” The tightness returned to her throat. This memory was so much worse than all the others. “I'd think about you, wondering whether you were alive or dead. Then I'd think about Alpha Khelt, and how long it might be until he forced me to become his mate. I barely knew him then, but he was nothing like you. He reminded me more of my father.” She took a deep breath. “My cave had a rock face I could climb up to reach the top of the outcrop. It was secret. No one else had any reason to go up there. Some nights, when the dark spirits came to my dreams, I went out there alone. I walked to the very edge, where the rocks stood high above the plains and the wind whistled around my ears. I thought of all the worst things my future might hold, and I told myself that I would never have to face any of them if I just took one more step forward.”

  Jarek reached for her cheek, but she caught
his hand and squeezed it against her breast. Her eyes were dry.

  “It didn't happen often,” she continued. “Only once every few moons. But when it did, standing at the edge of that outcrop made me feel calm. I knew the fall from the right spot would be long enough. The fall would always be there for me. When I stood there it was as if everything else went out of my mind.” She fell silent for a moment, recalling the memory as if it were a half-forgotten dream. “We had a terrible winter one year, so bad that the hunters believed all the beasts had been swallowed by it. There was not enough food for the pack, so Alpha Khelt led a raid upon the Sun People. We fought. He wanted to press on while I wanted to turn back. The pack split between us, and while our people were divided the Sun People attacked. I blamed Khelt for the lives we lost, and he blamed me. We were so angry at each other. He never wanted me as his mate after that. The night we returned to the den I tried to feel relieved, but I wasn't. The spirits of the people who had died came to me in my dreams, and when I awoke all I could think of were the things Khelt had said to me. I wondered whether he was right. If the fault had been mine. I remembered the way my father had sent so many warriors to their deaths because he refused to back down from his pride.” She paused again. “That was the night I put one foot over the edge.”

  “Adel,” Jarek whispered. She squeezed his hand tighter.

  “I took it back immediately. I was so shocked by what I'd almost done that my other foot slipped. I couldn't hold on to anything when I rolled over the edge. The side of the outcrop was close enough to break my fall, but the rocks shattered my shoulder when I hit a spur half way down. I never went up there to stand on that ledge again.”