Empire of Secrets: A New Adult Paranormal Romance with Young Adult Appeal (God of Secrets Book 2)

by L. R. W. Lee

  But Nuria’s not standing there when the shadows disappear.

  Chapter Forty-Two

  I stop chewing midbite and stare at Harpoc.

  His silver and gold eyes stare back.

  His Adam’s apple bobs. His shoulders are tense beneath the gray leather of his duster. He lifts his chin but looks anything but confident with the dark circles that mar the flesh beneath his eyes.

  My heart races as I lick my lips trying to manage the mango’s juice. My hands fist, then loosen again, still locking eyes with him.

  Bond mate.

  My mate.

  When I came to Secrets, I wanted to get to know all of him. I’d no idea everything that would mean.

  I’m only just starting to get to know and appreciate this alluring, private, affectionate, protective, sophisticated male, but based on everything I’ve learned from talking to him, nosing about his old haunts, as well as from Nuria, I guarantee—yes, guarantee, without even asking—that he’s never allowed another being the privilege of knowing the real him.

  But he’s allowing me.

  My stomach flutters.

  I finish chewing and swallow, then swipe a hand over my dribbly mouth.

  The simple gesture breaks the staring spell, and I swear I see him sway unsteadily as he finds the spice cupboard behind him and leans against it, shoving his hands in his coat pockets.

  He looks around and forces a laugh. “I see Nuria gave you the upgraded version.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “I wish I’d had a few more amenities when I lived here.” He bobs his head toward the faucet. “It was a hand pump.”

  “Really? I hadn’t thought about it.” I smile.

  Silence blankets the room as I get up and head to the sink to wash my face and hands, avoiding his gaze. But I can feel his gold and silver eyes brushing my back.

  As I dry my face on the towel, I ask, “Are you… fully healed?”

  “Yes, thanks to you getting me attention as quickly as you did. Aimil wouldn’t agree to take those damn bandages off until a few minutes ago or I would have come sooner.”

  “A god, and the emperor himself, would allow a healer to tell him what to do?” I turn toward him, still holding the towel over my lips.

  A corner of his mouth hitches up. “She’d give me hell if I didn’t.”

  I chuckle. “Hell, not Hades?” And just like that a heavy weight lifts between us.

  “Harpoc….”

  “Pell….”

  We start at the same time.

  “You first,” he says.

  “I was just going to ask if you’ve eaten.” I force a smile, fingering the towel. “Nuria gave me more fruit and jerky and bread than I’ll ever eat.”

  He laughs. “Actually, I haven’t. And yes, I’d love some.”

  I throw the towel over my shoulder and go fix him a plate from the bounty in the other room, then put it down on the table where he’s sitting.

  “I’m sorry I left,” I say, abandoning my earlier seat and taking the one beside him.

  “Why did you?” He looks my face over as he takes a bite of banana.

  There it is, no dancing around. My heart accelerates.

  I study my hands as I formulate the words. “I was upset.”

  “Why?”

  He knows. There’s no way he doesn’t, but he’s making me spell it out, as is his custom. Best to just get it out there. Honesty is, no doubt, the best policy if we’re going to make something of this.

  Rip the bandage off, Pell.

  “You didn’t tell me we’re bond mates. I had to learn it from the Queen of Scarabs.” I look up to see what impact my words have.

  His features are neutral, but his Adam’s apple bobs. “And you’d like to know why.”

  I nod, as our eyes lock. I pull the towel off my shoulder and start playing with it.

  The muscles in his jaw bulge as he sets the peel down on his plate. He’s silent for a full minute before he says, “I mentioned before that I was alone in the beginning. I used to seal all secrets across all universes, but as populations grew, I needed help. It’s when I added Nuria, then Aura, and finally Idris.”

  I remember Nuria saying something to the effect as well as him mentioning it in the garden.

  “We became a family of sorts. I was busy and wasn’t looking for—” He looks over at me. “—someone special. I had no reason to expect it would be any other way.”

  He runs a finger up and down the edge of the plate. “My half of the bond locked into place”—My stomach quivers and my grip tightens on the towel—“in that secret trove you discovered.”

  I furrow my eyebrows, trying to remember. But as I replay the time we spent in the trove, my eyes go wide. “You sniffed me… then froze, like a statue. You stayed that way for a good minute even when I waved a hand in your face. When you finally recovered…” OMG. I slap the table.

  He nods. “To say I was shocked is an understatement.”

  “You jumped back, away from me, and kept shaking your head. I thought you were loopy.”

  Harpoc snorts. “Bonds are not common, but they’re not uncommon either, so I was pretty sure what had happened. Thing is, I don’t know of another god who’s bonded.”

  My mouth drops open. “Seriously?”

  He nods.

  I stare at his rings as I try to digest that not-so-little tidbit.

  He smiles. “The Ancient One seems to have quite a sense of humor. Me, bonded.”

  I chuckle. “The only bonds I’ve ever heard of are in the fiction….”

  He laughs, no doubt remembering the conversation about my reading habits, in that tent in Tanis after dealing with the sphinx.

  My face warms. “Yes, those fiction books.”

  “I may have to read some of them for myself.” He grins.

  I snort. “They might give you a few ideas.”

  He wags his brows, and in a smoky bedroom voice says, “Oh, I’ve got plenty of ideas when it comes to you. It’s been hard thinking of anything but.”

  I inhale sharply, making him laugh. “Back to your story,” I command.

  His face turns serious once more. “As I said, I’ve never heard of a god being bonded, so I couldn’t believe it. The rest of the time in that trove with you, I debated whether I’d hallucinated, but I couldn’t deny your scent.”

  I roll my eyes. Him and my scent.

  “You’re saying I smelled different?”

  “No, I’m saying that once the bond locked in place, your scent became very strong to me.”

  “Like a mother with her young?”

  “Something like that, yes. I’m a very private being as you’ve probably noticed.” His rings clink as he continues rubbing the edge of the plate.

  A corner of my mouth hitches as I finger the towel.

  “I didn’t know you. You didn’t know me. It scared me to think of what I’d need to reveal of myself if I accepted the bond.”

  I tilt my head as my hands still. “You could have rejected it?”

  “Your half hadn’t yet locked in place as far as I could tell, so yes.” He raises a finger. “But bonds are special… precious. I’ve no idea why some beings are granted them and others aren’t, but the Ancient One saw fit to grant me… us… one.”

  He looks into my eyes, and in his low baritone says, “I’m not foolish enough to decline his offer.”

  The fairies in my stomach take flight.

  He swallows, hard. “So despite it scaring me shitless, I decided to try.”

  It scared him shitless. The very fact that he’s admitting that speaks volumes.

  “You’re the first I’ve curled myself around in bed, like a big teddy bear.”

  I chuckle. “Funny you say that, because it’s how I felt.”

  His hands still, and he studies the plate. “I know.”

  I tilt my head.

  He glances up, then back at the plate, like it’ll shield him from my reaction to what he’s about to say.


  “If I focus on you—” He forces a laugh. “—which isn’t hard…” His look turns sheepish. “I can hear your thoughts.”

  I narrow my eyes and keep my tone even. “What do you mean?”

  He holds up a hand. “Exactly that, I can hear you thinking to yourself.”

  He what? My inner minion is not happy.

  My jaw drops. “Wait, you can hear my thoughts?”

  My brain starts to sprint through all the thoughts I’ve had about him over the last two weeks.

  “You… you’ve heard…?”

  He runs a hand through his hair and scrunches his face. “Only when I focus on you.”

  “And exactly how often has that been?” My tone rises because I feel violated.

  He opens his palms toward me, silently pleading for me to understand. “Once I decided to pursue the bond, it’s been hard to think of much but you.”

  I can’t find it in me to ream him when he says something as sweet as that. He’s being honest, and vulnerable.

  Pell… My inner minion doesn’t care, nor agree.

  But this is my call, not hers.

  She harrumphs when I ignore her.

  He leans in, and his face seems to shine. “You should be able to hear my thoughts now that the bond locked for you, too, if you concentrate.”

  He wants me to, it’s clear. He wants to share more of himself with me, his mate. The fairies in my stomach break into a very slow and seductive version of the tango.

  “I want to, but I want to hear the rest of the story first.”

  He bobs his head. “Right, so I was trying to adjust, trying to figure our bond out. It wasn’t long, not even a day, before I saw what an amazing person you are. You were concerned for the welfare of innocent people at the hands of the sphinx. You were willing to risk your life.”

  I shuffle my feet under the table. I’ve never been good at taking compliments. “I couldn’t live with myself if—”

  “I know.”

  Right, he’s been listening in. It’s kind of annoying, but… “Wait, wait, wait, that’s why the other morning… you were half asleep, and I thought you smelled good. You replied, ‘You smell good, too.’ That was you hearing me through the bond, wasn’t it?”

  He chuckles. “I’m sorry to say I don’t recall. I must have been asleep, but I believe you.”

  I can’t help shaking my head. Unbelievable.

  He clears his throat. “When I saw what kind of a person you are, the idea of being bonded to you quickly became a passion I haven’t known in ages… I wanted to get to know everything about you.”

  My grip on the towel strengthens. I need it to ground me.

  “When you proved, before Zeki’s thugs, that you trust me implicitly, and after so few days…” He closes his eyes as if again savoring that moment.

  “I was surprised, too. As a rule, I trust others very slowly. You think it was the bond speeding things up?”

  “I don’t know. Maybe your body instinctively sensed it, but once that happened, I was… Pell, I was lost over you.” Our eyes lock.

  I can only bite my lip at the rawness of his confession.

  “Zeki and his thugs guessed it, Pell. You were my greatest weakness, even then.”

  My heart beats faster. I was then… I am now.

  He hadn’t answered me when I asked, at the time.

  “I couldn’t, at the time. It would have opened up even more questions none of which I could answer. You were already steamed at me for being so secretive.”

  I snicker. “That I was.”

  “So when Zeki and his thugs took you…” He fists both hands on the table, knuckles going white. “I was out of my mind with worry. They took you. They took my mate. I couldn’t think straight.”

  I can’t help noticing that his nostrils flare even now.

  He shakes his head. “It’s partly why it took me so long to come to you. But once I calmed down, I focused on the bond, and it led me to you. Only to find that in the midst of your own torment at Zeki’s hands, you cared about that boy.”

  “Eser?”

  He nods. “I couldn’t believe what an amazing being….” He turns and faces me, cupping my cheek in his hand, and the fairies in my stomach abandon the tango and take flight. “Pell, you’re beautiful inside and out. You’re smart, curious, witty, ambitious, unselfish, and determined—you won’t take no for an answer.”

  I abandon the towel and draw my arms close, hugging myself. I can’t handle the sincerity in his beautiful gold and silver eyes.

  “Yes, Pell. It’s true. Please… please accept what I’m saying. You’re an amazingly beautiful being.” His tone turns imploring.

  I know he means well, but my heart starts to race.

  I’m still working on fully embracing the breakthrough over my body image, but I’m not Gumby, Silly Putty, or Play-Doh. I can’t bend and change so quickly.

  This, this will send me over the edge.

  Chapter Forty-Three

  My breathing labors. I’m withering under his adoring gaze. I need to divert, change the subject.

  Ask him your questions, Pell. My inner minion suggests, spitting the words out as fast as she can before I lose it.

  Oh, thank you, I gasp in my head.

  Deep breaths, Pell.

  Right. Yes. I take those deep breaths, and my heart slows. My brain starts functioning again.

  His shoulders soften, like he’s sad I can’t fully accept. All I can do is promise myself, I’ll try.

  He nods, lowering his hand from my cheek. He heard.

  I’ve no doubt he’s adding it to his list of personal challenges.

  I redirect. “Nuria said a male only holds the hand of a female he’s bonded to.”

  “That’s right.” His thumb skims the side of his plate.

  “You showed everyone that we’re bonded when we first arrived. You told the Core the same way. Why did you tell everyone but me?” I stick to the facts and keep my tone even, without bite or accusation, even though another hurt wells up as I say it.

  He looks into my eyes, no doubt sensing my emotion. His voice is gentle when he says, “Pell, I didn’t mean to hurt you. I couldn’t help myself. I wanted to show you off. I was over the moon when it comes to you. Bonded… to you.” He shakes his head, clearly still amazed.

  I squirm. “But why didn’t you tell me?”

  “It had been just six days... six amazing days, but only six.” I realize he’s counted, too. “We’d only started getting to know each other. But you knew nothing of the empire. It would have been unfair to you. I didn’t want it to come across as me forcing you into this. I was happy to wait.”

  He’s right that I would have felt forced. It’s why I ran here when I finally found out.

  “I wanted to tell you so many times. I’d planned to tell you the first time I brought you here, at the same time I told you about your ring.” He sneaks a look up at me. “But that didn’t go over well, and I never got that far.”

  I’ll woman up to that. He’s right.

  “I thought about telling you the night you prepared that beautiful apology dinner. You were so open.” He swallows. “You bared yourself to me… to me. I know that was hard for you. But Aura interrupted before… I took it as a sign that it wasn’t the right time.”

  His finger continues rubbing the edge of the plate.

  “The day I took you to the Valley of Silence I planned to reveal it to you by showing you how, despite the silence of that valley, we can hear each other’s thoughts through our bond. But before I did, I heard your thoughts, your confusion over how you felt about me, and I didn’t want to push. I could wait as long as you needed.”

  “But that’s when you said you wanted me to know the real you.”

  “That was after I heard your confusion. It was my diversion from revealing our bond to you when you weren’t ready. I’d been trying to share things about myself before that but doing a poor job of it. I’ve never been so forthcoming in my entire
existence. But you make me want to.” He chuckles. “I’m not good at it. When vulnerable, I lack my usual… finesse.”

  I give him a warm smile as he runs a hand through his onyx locks.

  “The first night here, over that burger… You blew me away with everything you deduced about me from just looking around the place. I must confess, it set me on edge. You’re very perceptive.”

  “Did you tell Nuria to tell me stories about you when she came to check on me?”

  “No, why?” He furrows his brow, and his hand stills. “What’d she tell you?”

  I let a corner of my mouth hitch as I start kneading the towel again. “I’ll never tell.”

  “Now who’s keeping secrets?” He smiles.

  I snort.

  But there’s something else that’s been driving me crazy, and if we’re clearing the air, I need to know. “When I asked you what Aimil meant when she said ‘the Ancient One did well,’ you said she was referring to the potential of my magic.” It’s hard keeping my tone even when it feels like he lied to me, despite professing not to.

  He raises a hand. “No, Pell, I said I would not pretend to know her mind.” He splays both hands on the table, like he’s bracing, or maybe it’s his way of showing he’s hiding nothing. “But my little harpy wouldn’t be content with that.” A corner of his mouth hitches, but there’s regret there. “So… yes, because I didn’t want to force this on you, I went on and speculated that perhaps she meant your magic that the Ancient One instills in each of us.”

  “You knew she was referring to us being bonded and me being your mate.” It’s why he savored the words when I told him. I just want him to say it.

  He turns pleading eyes on me, and I sense pain behind them. “Pell, I never meant to hurt you. You put me between a rock and a hard place. I needed to give you a reasonable explanation while not having you feel forced into accepting… our bond.”

  “But you lied to me.”

  He bows his head and sighs.

  He’s never thought about his actions this way, it’s clear, but I need him to understand that if… we… are going to become more, he can’t do this to me again, no matter how noble the rationale.