Inflame: Midnight Cove #1

by Laramie Briscoe

  I snort. “You wish I’d discuss my love life with you. Mom’s bringing Syd by, I haven’t seen her since she went to Courtney’s,” I remind him.

  “You know you’re going to discuss your date with me. But onto other things. My girl!” He grins.

  “Fuck you dude, she’s my girl,” I argue.

  “She loves Uncle Gunner,” he argues back. “Let’s see who she runs to first.”

  It’s a friendly bet. There’s no telling with Syd, and honestly, it depends on the day of the week how she’ll react. “You’re on.” I take the last bite of my sandwich, wipe my hands, and get up to go wait. The school isn’t far from the firehouse, so I know they will be here shortly.

  Gunner stands beside me, both of us wearing fleeces and hats as we wait in the engine bay area. “How was your date?”

  The grin that spreads across my face can’t be helped. “I had a really good time. We had two dates.”

  “Two? My boy’s growing up.”

  “Shut the fuck up,” I punch at his shoulder. “It was nice, hanging out with someone my own age.”

  “I’m sure all you did was hang out,” his gaze is all-knowing.

  He and I have been best friends since we started at this station. There’s not a lot I can get by him. “I had some adult fun,” I admit.

  “Look at that shit-eating grin,” he punches me back in the shoulder. “I’m happy for you, man. You look more relaxed than you have in a long time. I think it was something you needed.”

  I’m quiet as I contemplate his words. I’ve spent the last few years of my life catering to Syd, to everything she’s needed, that I have neglected myself. I hope Courtney is going to stay true to her word. I wouldn’t give anything for Syd, but I’m beginning to realize I also need to make time for myself in this craziness of life. If I don’t blow off steam, then I’m no good to either of us.

  “I did,” I admit. “It was much-needed. I hope Em and I will see each other again soon.”

  “Em, she’s already got a fucking nickname,” he laughs, shaking his head.

  “I knew her in high school,” I defend myself.

  “But did you call her Em back then?”

  “No,” I admit. “I didn’t really call her anything. I was too devoted to Courtney to see what was right in front of me all along.”

  And maybe that’s what was supposed to happen. Young me was supposed to lose his heart to someone who didn’t necessarily deserve it, but in the end, she gave me the best gift she ever could have with Syd. That way, when I met Em, I’d know what the fuck I have.

  Before he can answer, my mom’s car pulls up, and we snap to attention. Both of us love Syd, but there’s always a little competition when we see her together. Waiting for mom to get her out of her booster seat is torture, but when her feet hit the ground, we can hear her boots stomping towards us. Her hair is flying behind her, both Gunner and I have our arms outstretched for her. I’m even kneeling on the ground, I can almost feel her in my arms. She’s running right to me, and I’m ready to give Gunner a triumphant smile, when all of a sudden, she cuts to the left and goes straight for him.

  What. The. Fuck.

  “There’s my girl,” I hear him talking to her.

  Slowly, I get up off the ground, giving him a look of death.

  “Told you,” he mouths as he holds Syd, twirling her around before setting her on the ground.

  It’s only then that she turns, running into my arms. I hold her tightly, picking her up. “I missed you,” I tell her.

  “Missed you too,” her small arms hug around my neck.

  “You sure? You hugged Uncle Gunner first.”

  “Saved the best for last,” she giggles as I tickle her with my beard.

  “Eat that,” I mouth to Gunner as I watch that smug as fuck smile falter.

  “Did you have a good day at school?” I ask as I carry her into the firehouse, sitting us down on the couch.

  “It was okay, a boy tripped me,” she frowns, showing me a dirty spot on the knee of her leggings.

  “Who is he? I’ll kill him,” I vow, only half kidding.

  “Lucas Wright,” she answers, her lips pursing out. “I don’t know why he did it, I’ve never done anything to him.”

  “He probably likes you,” Gunner interjects his opinion as he has a seat next to us. “Boys are mean to the girls they like.”

  “Really?” She asks, her eyebrows screwing up in a disbelieving look.

  Not wanting to get into this with her until she’s much older, I tap her thigh. “Pizza tonight? I’ll pick it up on the way to get you.”

  “Cheese please!”

  Pizza is this girl's favorite meal, and if there’s anything I can ever use to take her mind off anything, it’s pizza.

  * * *

  Emma

  It’s a slow day at the library, and I’m thinking hard about all the conversations I had with Ash over the past few days. What would it hurt if I put some feelers out? Showed people the designs I’ve been working on for the bouquet cupcakes? All it would take would be starting a Facebook page and taking a few pictures of what I already have on hand. What I need is a second opinion. Looking around, I see no one needs my help, so I pull out my cell and text the only other person who will give me their honest opinion. Sabrina.

  Everyone needs a friend like her, she’s never lied to me, even when it would be easier. She’s the one who encourages me to go out of my comfort zone, and if it were up to her, I would have done this straight out of high school. She’s the one person whose believed me through it all.

  E: Do you think my cupcakes are good enough for people to pay for them?

  S: Girl yes! I’ve been telling you that for years, and you’ve refused to believe me. You’re just as good as all these people on the food networks doing these crazy challenges.

  Now I know she’s laying it on thick, but it makes me feel good to realize she has so much faith in me. I haven’t shared with her the bouquet, but I know as soon as I do, she’ll make a big deal over it, just like Ash did.

  E: I’m thinking of starting a Facebook page and working harder on the Instagram page for them. I made a cupcake bouquet that literally looks like flowers the other night. I showed Ash, and he asked me if he could purchase it for Syd.

  I giggle as I see an excited emoji come across the phone line. I’m sure if we were in the same room she would be screaming with joy. A pang of loneliness hits me. Sabrina and her husband moved away almost two years ago to follow his job, and our visits are few and far between, but she’s still the closest friend I’ve ever had.

  S: Did you let him?

  The wince is already on my face when I type the reply. She’s going to be so disappointed that I didn’t want him to pay and I wanted to give them away. She always tells me I don’t know my worth. More and more I’m beginning to think she’s right.

  E: I didn’t want to let him, but he basically forced me to take his money. I wish I would have just given it to him.

  S: Why? Those are pieces of art, and you worked hard on them, Em. Let him appreciate it.

  E: Let’s not argue over that now. What’s done is done. I’m asking you about going forward.

  S: I believe in you Em, and it sounds like Ash believes in you too. The only thing you have to decide is, are you going to believe in yourself?

  That’s always been the biggest problem. I get comfortable, complacent, and then resistant to change. Which is why I’m still working for Bridget, still doing the library, and not really making enough money to do any of the things I’ve always desperately wanted to do.

  It’s hard to type the next sentence, I’m not sure I believe it, but I have to. Nobody else will believe in me if I don’t believe in myself.

  E: I am. I’m going to do it!

  Just typing this on my phone fill me with nervousness, but I know I have to overcome the anxiety of failure. I’ll never achieve anything if I don’t try. Honestly, I don’t want to be waiting tables at fifty years old, a
nd I know myself. If I’m this comfortable now, I’ll only get more comfortable as the years go on. If I want a chance to change my life, I have to take it.

  S: Em, I’m so excited! I know you’ll rock this. You’re so talented, and I want everyone else to see it too.

  E: Thanks!

  S: No problem, you know I believe in you. Even when you don’t believe in yourself, know I’m here to do it for you. It’s what friends do.

  E: Love you!

  S: Love you too! Don’t chicken out. If you think of chickening out, text me, and I’ll remind you all the things you used to say about Ash in high school.

  E: Sorry, gotta get back to work.

  I set my phone down with a sigh, literally vibrating with the excitement of telling one person what I plan to do. I’ve done social media for the library since I started here, along with working the information desk. Social Media I something I know a few things about, I’ve used it to grow our reading program here. It wouldn’t be hard for me to translate the things I’ve learned in building that program to possibly growing my own business.

  Immediately I’m enthusiastic. This could mean me getting rid of one of my jobs, then maybe I could get rid of both of them, and do what I really want to do. It’s weird, what I do isn’t important. It’s not like what Ash does, fighting fires and saving lives. I’m not an attorney who fights for injustice or anything of that nature. But there’s one thing I know I can do. Make people smile, and I have no doubt these pieces of art will make the person receiving them smile. Maybe these cupcakes will end up at weddings, birthday parties, graduations – all the important experiences in other people’s lives.

  With an exuberance, I haven’t had in a long time I’m ready to outline a few things. Grabbing a piece of paper and a pen, I use the rest of my shift to make plans. Plans that will impact my future. For the first time in my life.

  Twelve

  Ash

  “What did you do while I was gone?” Syd asks as she and I sit down to our first dinner together in almost a week. She’s been back for a couple of days, but we’ve been busy, and a conversation like this hasn’t been the top priority. Getting homework done, signing her up for a dance class she wanted to take, grocery shopping, and generally taking care of business has been. I’m not even sorry we’re having pizza for the second time since she’s been home.

  I’ve thought a hundred times over how I need to answer this. Honesty seems like the very best policy because I’ve always been honest with her. Maybe there were times when I shouldn’t have been, but that’s how I’ve built our relationship, and it stands to reason this is how it should continue.

  “I went out on a date with Emma,” I say the words carefully, judging her reaction as best I can, observing as she absorbs the information.

  “Bridget’s Emma?” She asks as she takes a bite of her pizza, seeming to chew it more slowly than normal.

  “Yeah,” I laugh at how she’s described her. “Bridget’s Emma.”

  “Did you have fun with her?”

  This is tricky, there’s never been another woman in my life where Syd is concerned. I’m worried she will see me having fun with someone else as me being a traitor to her and our time together. “I did, she and I went out and had a good time. In fact, she made this for you,” I get up from where I’m sitting, grabbing the cupcakes that look like flowers.

  She gasps, her hands going to mouth, but I can see the excitement in her eyes. I can’t believe I’ve forgotten to give it to her, but life has a way of getting away from me sometimes. “Dad, those are gorgeous.”

  I have no idea where she gets these big words when she uses them; it blows me away because I still think of her as my little girl. The one who needed me to do everything for her. These days, she’s becoming her own person and learning to take care of herself. It’s not easy for me, especially since we’ve been so close since Courtney wasn’t doing her part.

  “They are, aren’t they? She remembered these are your favorite colors,” I point out the colors of the icing to her.

  “But I never even told her.”

  “She noticed how often you wear the shoes with those shoe strings in them,” I clue her in on what Emma told me.

  “She noticed?”

  “She did.” Fuck if that doesn’t choke me up, the way it chokes my daughter up. She’s used to having me and her grandmother, and Gunner doting on her. What she’s not used to is a mother figure doting on her. That’s always what I’ve wanted to give her. I think Courtney’s coming around, but if Emma and I can make this work, I have a feeling neither she nor I ever have to worry about that again. “I’ll text her later and tell her thank you. That good with you?"

  “Is she your girlfriend?”

  I choke on the drink of water I’ve just taken. Never, did I expect her to come right out and ask that question. When did six-year-olds become this invested in their parents' love life? I guess when I decided to make her a part of it, she’s way too inquisitive for her own good.

  “She’s a good friend,” I hesitate to put any kind of label on it, even to my daughter. “One that I hope to see more of.” I’m glad she doesn’t realize what I’m saying, which parts of Em I’d like to see more of. The way we left each other before? I’ve been having dreams about her every night, but my work schedule hasn’t made it conducive for us to get back together yet.

  “This is good pizza, Dad.”

  The way she changes the subject is classic Syd. It lets me know she’s okay with what’s happened.

  “It is,” I grin as I take a bite of my piece, my stomach growling as I chew and swallow it down. Today has been balls to the wall, and I can’t remember the last time I ate.

  “Can we watch a movie before bed?” She asks.

  That’s when I know she’s okay. This is something we do in our normal routine, and if she’s cool with keeping our normal routine, then my girl is fine with me dating. I’m not stupid enough to think we won’t have growing pains over the years, but for now, we’ve dodged a major bullet.

  Giving her a smile, I answer the way she knew I would. “Whatever you want, Syd. You know all you have to do is ask.”

  “I just did,” she giggles.

  A few hours later I’m tucking Syd into bed because she fell asleep during our movie. As I pull her covers up to her chin – the way she’s liked it since she was a baby – I can’t help the catch in my throat. She and I; we’ve been a team since the day she was born. When they put her in my arms, I held her crying body against mine, telling her everything was going to be okay.

  I’m aware I failed that very promise when Courtney and I got divorced. But I’ve been doing my best to make up for it since. Hopefully, I’ve done a good job. Leaning down I kiss her on the forehead before closing her door, making sure to leave it open a crack and turn on her nightlight.

  When I get out of her room, I sigh heavily, all of a sudden so damn tired it’s almost like I can’t put one foot in front of the other. I wonder if I’m going to be able to make it to my bedroom. This spot of carpet in the hallway looks like a nice place to sleep tonight.

  Eventually, I force myself to keep walking until I’m in my room. Typically I have a routine, but tonight, I don’t even mess with it. Taking off my clothes and throwing them on the floor, I slip beneath covers in my covers, welcoming the cool feel of the sheets against my skin.

  As I turn over, I yawn, tired as hell. Doing everything on my own sometimes wears me the fuck out. Tonight, I’m more tired than usual, probably because of all the time I spent with Em the past few days.

  Em. I get a stupid grin on my face when I think of her. I haven’t gotten that silly grin in years. Not since I was a young kid in love with his high school girlfriend. Grabbing my phone from the bedside table, I get myself comfortable and then open up a new text message window. I may be tired, but I’m not too tired to talk to her if she’s available.

  A: You busy?

  When she doesn’t immediately answer back, I turn the TV o
n I have in the room. Before I got divorced, I never watched TV a ton, but after the divorce that was my only friend in the dark of the night. It was the thing keeping me from feeling like I was alone at night.

  E: Nope, just laid down. It’s been a crazy day.

  A: Same, I finished up my shift this morning, then I had to run some errands. I just fed Syd pizza for the second time this week, and not even frozen pizza. It was takeout. I’m sure somewhere there’s a parent group who has me on their radar.

  E: LOL! Don’t feel bad for the takeout pizza. I had a burger and fries. You’ll find no judgment from me.

  That’s nice, for the first few years of Syd’s life I always felt judged. By the mommy and me classes I attended, not know they weren’t really meant for men. I was both mom and dad, and she needed to learn how to be around other children. Once that was over, and she got a little older, the moms started hitting on me, and made it even more uncomfortable. I went out on one date one time, and when we didn’t work out, I got kicked out of the group and talked about like I was the issue, when really she just wanted to bag a firefighter. That’s when I decided maybe dating wasn’t for me.

  A: Thank you for not judging me.

  E: If you want to give your child artery-clogging food, who am I to judge?

  A: Ouch, Em.

  E: LOL! Seriously I’m kidding. How are you?

  A: Tired, really tired. I’d love to hear your voice right now, but I’m afraid I’d fall asleep on you if we tried to talk.

  E: I’m feeling the exact same way. What do you have planned for the next few days, maybe we can figure out a way to see each other.

  My heart kicks up in my chest, a giddy I haven’t felt in a very long time. Not to mention she’s the one wanting to make plans. I had to make the first move by giving her my phone number. I like this side of Emma.

  A: I’m off the next two days, but I have Syd.

  E: We could do something with her, it wouldn’t be that big of a deal.