Born of Fire

by Kella McKinnon

  She shouldn’t have let herself think of home, and Gram. She swallowed back tears, knowing that every day that went by it was less likely she would every see her grandmother or the farm again.

  She cleared her throat, realizing Veda was regarding her with a concerned expression. “I have a garden at home. I love it. Making things grow. I just…I guess I miss it. And my home.”

  “Oh aye? I could take it or leave it, myself, the gardening. Need to have food though. And it’s better than laundry.”

  A large wet tongue suddenly swept up the side of her face and Nessa shrieked before she realized who the tongue belonged to. “Ru! You scared me, Buddy.”

  She patted his head and rubbed his ears, and the giant dog that looked more like a wolf followed at her heels like a love-sick puppy for the rest of the day.

  Nessa diligently weeded, glad for something to do to pass the time. But her mind wasn’t cooperating as she’d hoped it would, and it began to wander into unwelcome territory. Thoughts of her grandmother, which were always so close to the surface, rushed forward. Is Gram still alive? Does she know I’m missing? The last time she’d seen Gram was…god, nearly a week ago now…

  “Gram?” She had plastered on a cheerful smile as she walked into the small, stark room at the nursing home, carrying a box of her grandmother’s favorite chocolates. It smelled like disinfectant and stale institutional foods such as vanilla pudding and instant mashed potatoes. It hurt her heart to see her grandmother here like this, but she’d had no choice. Gram was just too sick for Nessa to care for her at home anymore.

  “Nessa baby, I thought I heard you coming down the hall. Come in.”

  “Hey Gram, how are you today?” She leaned over to plant a kiss on her wrinkled, papery cheek.

  “I’m dying, lass”, the old woman sighed, but not without her customary good humor.

  “Grandma, I…”

  “No, Nessa honey… shush. You know I am. I know I am. Dying is just another part of living, so don’t you worry about me. I’m old now. I’ve lived my life, and I’m ready to go.”

  Nessa pressed her lips tightly together and nodded. There were no words, and she didn’t want to cry. She wanted to be strong for the woman that had always been there for her.

  “But before I go, I need to talk to you about something. Sit.” Nessa obediently sat down in the hard chair next to the bed.

  Her grandmother looked at her with a determination she’d never seen before, and Nessa leaned forward with anticipation.

  “You are the only one left to carry on our line. My son…he’s never going to marry or have children. I’ve known that for a long time now. He’s…well, it’s just not his purpose in this lifetime.”

  Nessa gave a little sound of protest, but she knew it was true. In all her life, Gram had never said one negative thing about her Uncle Angus, even though everyone knew he was different. She had always treated him just like everyone else.

  “That’s why you, Nessa, are so important.”

  “What are you saying?”

  “It’s a big responsibility, but I know you can do it. In fact I’m counting on you.”

  A nervous laugh escaped her throat. “Okay, no pressure there, Gram.”

  “There’s one more thing you should know before I go, something I never told you. I didn’t want to scare you, and there always seemed like there would be more time…” The old woman’s voice trembled with emotion, and Nessa fumbled for her grandmother’s hand under the blanket and held it in hers. It was so thin and frail…

  “What? What didn’t you tell me?”

  “There was a curse”, Gram said with a sigh. “Placed by the great king himself, if we should ever fail to keep the sacred knowledge.”

  “What? What kind of a curse?” Not that she believed in curses, but just in case, she wanted to know what she was dealing with. “Why would a king curse the family he entrusted with the knowledge of his people?”

  “I suppose he wanted them to take the job seriously. And it worked, didn’t it? Here we still are today.” She laughed a little. “All those centuries and no one ever dropped the ball.”

  Nessa relaxed a little. Gram might be superstitious enough to believe in things like curses, but Nessa was born in a new generation, one that mostly scoffed at the old beliefs in magic and such, or considered them quaint at best. “I’ll do my best Gram, I promise.”

  “I know you will.” She squeezed Nessa’s hand. “Now tell me what’s been going on at home. What am I missing?” Her lips curved in a brave smile, but Nessa didn’t miss the sadness just behind it.

  “Well, Angus is building a time machine”, Nessa said with a slight grimace. “To go back to ancient Scotland. He says time isn’t linear, it’s more like a blanket that can fold in on itself in certain places. He’s taken over half of the house with all of his books and papers.”

  “Time travel, hmm? Perhaps he’s right. Perhaps we’re all closer together than we even know.”

  “Do you really think so?” That would mean that Gram would never be far away, and that was a comforting thought to cling to.

  “I think that there is more to the universe than we could ever even begin to imagine. And sometimes, we just have to take it on faith that it leads us where we need to be.”

  They talked for a long time after that, mostly about her ideas for the farm and about her plans with Nathan, but eventually Nessa stood up and stretched.

  “I have to go…I need to turn on the sprinklers because it hasn’t rained all week.”

  She wondered if it had rained since. There had been—would be?— an uncommon dry spell in the highlands.

  Much later, Nessa fell into bed—well, not a bed exactly, but the sheepskin rug on the floor with a big furry pillow of dog—exhausted after a day of hard work. Her hands were dutifully tied to the post by Namet, though she thought maybe he left her a little more slack in the rope than usual. She gratefully drifted off to sleep before she could think about what she would do the next day. And the one after that.

  The next morning, it was Veda that untied her. They ate breakfast together, then went back to work in the gardens. After hours in the soil and sunshine, they headed back, making a stop at a long, low building. As she walked down a few steps, Nessa realized it was a root cellar, and it was full of vegetables. In the dim light streaming from the open door, she could make out piles of cabbages. And were those some sort of squash against the far wall?

  “The King has his eye on you”, said Veda casually, picking up a basket full of turnips. After spending some time together, the initial awkwardness had passed, and they’d begun to relax and talk a little more.

  Nessa sighed. “I know. He has me watched constantly, but I swear Veda, I don’t mean him any harm. I don’t mean any of you any harm. I only wish that you could believe me.”

  Veda gave her an appraising look as she piled a few more turnips into a basket. “I know you don’t. I can read people, you see. Though the King would never take my word for it. I don’t know your story, nor do I expect you will tell me, but I at least know you don’t wish to harm us.”

  Nessa offered her a genuine smile. “Thank you, Veda. That means so much to me.” And it did. She picked up a few turnips for the basket. “Didn’t we just pull these yesterday?”

  “No, those were the new turnips; these are the old, from last season. They have to be used up now.”

  “Oh, that makes sense. Like rotating stock at the market.”

  Veda gave her a curious look as if she didn’t understand.

  “Don’t you have markets?” Nessa prompted. If there was a Pictish word for market, there must be markets. Or was she misusing the term somehow? “Where everyone comes together to trade? Buy and sell things?”

  “We trade for gold with the tribes to the south. Is that what you mean?”

  “Well, not exactly.” Nessa could sense that Veda wanted to ask her so many questions, but more than likely Bridei had threatened against it. “It’s more like lots
of people trading different things all at once, in the same place.”

  “Oh. No, I’ve never seen anything like that. The king arranges trades, mostly.”

  Nessa took one handle of the basket and they carried it between them, and Veda leaned in to speak softly, obviously burning to gossip, even if she couldn’t ask a lot of questions herself.

  “And I didn’t mean the King is having you watched. I meant he watches you; everyone has noticed. Everyone is talking about it. It’s an honor for you”, she said, and Nessa felt her foolish heart start to beat faster and those damn butterflies…they seemed to have woken up again. It was suddenly hard to breathe, and she felt as if she were back in high school and someone had just told her the boy she’d had a crush on all year actually liked her back. Get ahold of yourself, Nessa.

  “Aye, well if it’s true, which it isn’t, that’s very flattering. But I’m of course not interested in the king. I have a life to go back to, as soon as I can.”

  “Then you’d better either change your mind, or leave, because by law the king can choose any woman he wants to be his consort, and then she will be bound to him. He already has Lair, but he can let her go easily enough if he decides to.”

  Nessa tried to ignore the sudden stab of what could only be jealousy. She had seen Lair. She had also seen Lair riding Bridei like her own personal stallion at the festival of Beltane. The woman was beautiful and probably knew all kinds of ways to please a virile man like Bridei. For these reasons alone, Nessa felt an instant dislike for her. And then she felt guilty for not liking someone that she didn’t even know, and who was only going about her life as it was before she had gotten here. Not that she even wanted to be here. Not that she even wanted King Bridei.

  “I…no, I don’t want to be the King’s consort.”

  “Oh. Well, if you’re hoping to be Queen, I happen to know that he has no plans to wed until his campaign to unite the north is finished. You might better start as consort and then see how things go from there.”

  “Um…that’s good advice I’m sure, but I’m really not planning on being here that long. I have to find my uncle, then I need to find a way to go home. I don’t belong here, Veda.”

  Home. Home to Nate, and the future they had been planning together. Or that he had been planning…she hadn’t been completely on board yet, but if she ever made it back to him, she’d change that.

  “Have you thought about it?” Nate was propped on one elbow, looking down at her with an expression so intense it made her squirm uncomfortably.

  “Hmmm? Thought about what?”

  He rolled his eyes in obvious frustration. “Nessa! Moving in together. You said last week that you’d think about it.”

  “Oh…aye. I just…I’ve been really busy all week and my uncle…”

  “Is one card short of a full deck. You can’t let him keep holding you back from your life, Ness. I’m ready to move forward in this relationship. I want you with me all the time, not just on weekends.”

  “That would mean being with Angus all the time too”, she pointed out.

  He gave her a teasing smile. “Not in the bedroom, I hope.”

  She slapped his arm playfully. “That’s gross Nate. Look, I just need a little more time to get my life together, then I’ll be ready.”

  Oh, Nate. Would she ever see him again? He was comfort, and stability. Certainty. All of the things she had taken for granted until recently, and would never take for granted again. Little did she know of the heartbreak still to come, because one day soon she would realize comfort and stability were never enough when your heart seemed to have a mind of its own, and your fate was never in your hands to begin with.

  “Why is there a cloud of dust over there?” It rose over the tops of the houses, thick enough to blot out the green of the hills in the distance.

  Veda shrugged. “It’s where the army trains, and it hasn’t rained in a while.”

  “There’s an army? Here? Where on earth do they sleep?” How could she not have known there was an entire army just outside the walls of Tallorc? Did Angus walk right past them? He’d been missing for days now. She had started hoping that maybe he was hiding somewhere nearby, biding his time. It was a longshot, but not entirely impossible, and hope was all she had.

  “They have tents. And an enclosure for the horses. Do you want to see?”

  “Aye. That is, if you don’t mind…”

  They rounded the top of the hill on the opposite side of the settlement from the gardens, and for the first time, Nessa could see the training grounds in the small valley below. Men milled around in the distance, some on foot, others on horseback. As they walked closer, Ru, who had been following them, barked twice and ran off towards the woods to the west, probably to hunt down some dinner. Yesterday the dog had deposited the gift of a dead and rather mutilated rabbit at her feet. Flattering, if not particularly appetizing. It had gone into the stew pot in the kitchens anyway, so as not to be wasted.

  “Bye, Ru.” She smiled and gave the dog a wave before turning her attention back to the scene before her. It was as if she was watching a movie; it was so unreal to her. “There’s so many of them. I never would have thought…”

  “Yes, we have thousands of warriors”, Veda said proudly. “More arrive every day from Chiefdoms all across Pictland. They say it will be the largest war party ever assembled. And there is our king, leading them all. He works his men hard, but they reap great rewards, both in honor and in gold.”

  Nessa’s gaze zeroed in on Bridei. He was not hard to notice, at the center of the action astride a powerful black stallion. Today he wore his dark, silky hair loose, and it flew out behind him as he sped towards his opponent, whom she recognized from Beltane night as Domech. They rode around each other in a wide circle, eyes never leaving the other, both men moving as one with their horses. Then Domech cut across the circle towards Bridei, who spun his horse to the side, leaning so far over that Nessa wondered how he didn’t fall. She heard, more than saw, the clash of metal as swords met, then they were moving apart again as grass and dirt flew into the air around them. It was an intricate, skillfully executed dance.

  Though she knew they must be only practicing, it looked so real that Nessa kept wincing and gritting her teeth, expecting at any moment to see blood flowing onto the ground below. She and Veda stopped a safe distance away to watch. It was far enough that they wouldn’t be hurt by flying stones or trampled by the horses, but close enough that Nessa could see every inch of smooth hard muscle in Bridei’s bare arms as it bunched and flexed in perfect timing with the motion of his horse and the elaborate movement of his weapon through the air.

  She knew the very moment he saw her there watching him. His eyes narrowed as he glanced her way, his posture changed just a little, and his actions became far more aggressive. That was when she realized that having her here was weighing on him more than she ever would have guessed. He obviously wanted her gone and out of his way so he could concentrate fully on the coming battle. That was completely understandable, and she wanted the same. Damn her uncle for disappearing. And for bringing her here in the first place and messing up her happy, quiet life. She could only hope that one day she would be able to look back on this experience as a wonderful—if terrifying—adventure that had turned out just fine in the end. Maybe she would tell her grandchildren of the time she accidently ended up in ancient Pictland, and watched one of the greatest kings of all time practice for an epic battle.

  As if by unspoken agreement, Bridei and Domech both stopped their horses and then rode past each other. They clasped hands for an instant as they did so, which she supposed meant the duel was over. Then Bridei did something that nearly stopped her heart. One second he was astride the horse, and then in a graceful move worthy of any gold medal gymnast, he was standing on the animal’s back, coming toward her at a full gallop, the sound of hooves pounding against the packed earth growing louder by the second. Just as she was about to dive out of the way, the horse turned,
and Bridei leapt to the ground, landing just in front of her. Her hand flew to her chest as if she could slow the rapid pace of her heart. He whistled, and his horse stopped short, turning and trotting back to him. Her eyes darted between the horse and the man. Both were strength and virility incarnate. The horse snorted and pushed his huge velvety nose toward her, his nostrils flaring as he took in her scent.

  “Can I touch him?” She held her hand up tentatively as the stallion eyed her curiously.

  “Aye.” He put his arm around the beast’s thick neck. “It’s better that he knows you, or he may have the notion to stomp you into the ground. He doesn’t care for strangers.”

  Her hand stopped in midair, but as she looked into the stallion’s eyes, she didn’t see any malice there, only a burning light of pride and power, much like what she saw in his master. She pet his silky muzzle, and the horse nipped gently at her fingers, making her smile. “I think he’s hungry.”

  “Of course he is. He’s worked hard this day.” He patted the stallion’s sweaty, dust-covered neck with affection, then leaned across and hooked a braided lead onto the thin leather halter.

  “How long have you been riding?” she asked. She had never seen such skill on horseback, not even at the circus where performers worked their entire lives to do half of what she’d just witnessed.

  “Forever”, he said. “Don’t you ride?”

  “Of course, but not like that. And with a saddle.” There were horses on the farm when she was growing up, and she’d ridden almost daily, mostly to find lost sheep in the hills.

  He narrowed his eyes. “The Saxons use saddles. I don’t know how they feel the animal beneath them with all that wood and leather. It’s probably why we’re better horsemen.”

  Nessa was suddenly uneasy. Had she messed up again? She really had to start thinking more before she spoke. It was far too easy to incriminate herself with careless words. “I’m not a Saxon”, she told him.