by Nalini Singh
His heart turning to ice, he fought through the wind toward it, the rain knives against his skin.
*
GRACE sat in silence, fiddling with a conduit. Elizabeth and Diego had both bedded down in bedroom cubicles at the end of the corridor, and the rambunctious wolf pups had exhausted themselves at last, but she couldn't sleep. Her gut was all twisted up, as if something was horribly wrong. But when she checked the air systems indicator on the wall--set to sound a piercing audio alarm if it detected a problem--it was to see everything was as it should be. No abnormal CO2 readings, the air breathable.
She'd repaired it, knew this one at least was functioning fine now. Regardless, she verified the readings with the small hand-held unit she'd brought up. Discovering no discrepancy, she walked over, ensured the wild wolves were okay. The mother raised her head when Grace petted one of her babies but didn't protest. Knowing she shouldn't wake the pup, she took her hand from his baby-soft fur and stood...just as a banging came on the door.
The mother wolf sat up, ears pricked.
"It's a branch," Grace murmured, but the sound came again, the rhythm too precise.
Was someone out there?
When she saw Cooper's face through the reinforced glass at the top of the door, she threw back the bolts so fast she tore off a nail, scenting the air with blood. "Cooper!" Her cry was lost in the howl of the wind as he came in, shoving the door shut again with the force of his body as she reengaged the bolts.
The mother wolf growled but a single violent snarl from Cooper and she backed down, wrapping herself protectively around her babies. Whipping back toward Grace, his eyes wolf-yellow and feral, Cooper grabbed her, burying his face against her hair, the water from his rain-drenched clothes seeping into her as she clung to him. He didn't say a word, just held her with raw ferocity.
Tears blurring her eyes, she hugged him as tight as she could. "You shouldn't have driven in this. You shouldn't." Fear for him had her heart stuttering, her wolf pushing at her skin to get closer to him.
Lips against her temple, on her cheek, her mouth, a hungry, desperate kiss.
When Cooper drew back, glanced around, his gaze still inhuman, she found the breath to say. "They're asleep." Dragging him to an unoccupied cubicle, she stepped out to grab towels from a nearby supplies cabinet, snagging the portable air gauge at the same time.
He watched her every move and when she returned, pulled her in and shut the door. The space was tiny, but putting the gauge on the shelf above the bed after turning up the volume on the audio alarm, she sat cross-legged on the mattress as he dried his face and hair, began to pull off his clothes. She removed her sweater and set it aside, the rest of her only a touch damp.
"The three of us talked about it," she said, speaking to fill the terrible silence, "and decided not to go down into the computronic center. If the station malfunctions and the den loses power, it won't be a total disaster--we're wolves, we'll handle it, and we can always jerry-rig something if necessary for places like the infirmary."
No one, Grace had pointed out to Elizabeth and Diego when the techs argued with her, would thank them for dying when it could've been avoided. "If there's a problem while we're on this level, we have the option of opening the door, even if it means dealing with the wind."
She tried not to stare as Cooper stripped down to the dark bronze of his skin, wrapped the towel around his hips, and came to sit beside her. Still not saying a word, he picked her up and put her in his lap. "You didn't call."
"I know. I'm sorry." Shaken by the tone of his voice, she told him what had happened, stroking his face, his shoulders in an attempt to pet, to comfort. "I'm okay. I'm fine."
It seemed to take forever before his skin warmed, the rigid tension in his muscles melting away. "Are you going to tell me?" she asked, rubbing her cheek against his when he finally relaxed his hold on her.
He didn't speak for a long time, but she didn't shove at his defenses. Not now, not when he was so very vulnerable. Instead, she continued to touch him, soothe him. "It's okay," she murmured. "I can wait." Kisses on his temple, his cheek. "Let me make you some coffee."
He shook his head. "No...it's time." A rasp in his voice, his next words vibrating with old emotion. "When I was sixteen, my parents went out of state for a wedding. They told me no staying up late and gorging on pizza and burgers. Then my mom let it slip she'd made my favorite pizzas, frozen the packages, and my dad put double credits into my comm and games account, even though I hadn't earned them by doing extra chores."
Grace could hear his love for his parents in every word. "Lucky."
"I was." A quiet, somber agreement. "Normally, I'd have invited Riaz over for company, but he was grounded. Saturday, I ate, played games, watched X-rated movies after hacking into the comm's parental guidance controls--and sent Riaz a message to brag about my genius since he'd lost his entertainment privileges." A faint smile. "Mid-morning the next day, I went for a long run with him and our other friends, didn't come back in till around four, when it started to rain."
She knew something horrible was coming but didn't interrupt, knowing he needed her to listen, to understand.
"The wedding was on Saturday night. Mom and Dad left before dawn on Saturday morning, planned to drive back Sunday." He swallowed, the strong muscles of his throat moving. "My mom kissed me good-bye while I was still in bed. And my dad rubbed the top of my head in that way dads do."
She could almost see him, a juvenile young and lanky, his eyes sleepy as he said good-bye to his parents.
"Then they were gone." The words sounded terribly final. "I got a message from Mom around ten Sunday morning saying they were on their way. When they didn't arrive by seven p.m. as planned, I didn't worry. I figured they'd taken a detour that looked interesting. We always did that even when we went running in wolf form." A shuddering breath. "But when they weren't home by nine and hadn't called, I started to call them. Over and over.
"I told myself I was being stupid to be so worried, but there was this stone in my stomach that kept getting heavier. I'd contacted the seniors in the pack and they tried, too, even got in touch with Enforcement to see if my folks' car had been logged passing a tolling station, but...nothing."
Grace's heart ached for the frightened boy he'd been.
"I stayed up all night, waiting by the den entrance in wolf form as the pack rang friends, hospitals, restaurants, and diners along the way. It was raining and every time a vehicle appeared, I'd run out to see if it was them. It never was." His voice broke. "We managed to track them to a restaurant halfway home, but then it was as if they'd vanished. Eighteen hours." Stone-rough words. "That's how long I waited for them to come home before their vehicle was found at the bottom of a ravine."
Tears rolling down her cheeks, Grace hugged him tight. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, Cooper." She understood what it was to lose her parents, understood what it was to wake up and not have them be there.
Damp against her neck, one of his hands fisted in her hair. "They'd taken that detour, along a rural road with hardly any traffic. Their car was up to safety specs, had all the anti-skid, anti-collision technology, but something made them swerve into the barrier--maybe an animal--and their car, it exploded as it hit the bottom of the ravine. It shouldn't have. A freak accident, the authorities said. They told me my parents must've died on impact, but I could see they couldn't be certain. The fire..."
"I know it hurts." She stroked her hand down his nape. "I know."
Cooper lifted his head, held her gaze with eyes gone night-glow. "I'm getting you a sat phone, and if you ever forget it, I will never forgive you."
"I won't forget, I promise."
For the first time, he was the one who broke the piercing eye contact. "No. I promised myself I wouldn't do this--I don't want to control you, Grace." He brushed his thumb across her cheeks, wiping away the remnants of her tears. "I know the problem is mine, so if you want to take off and leave the phone behind, or if you're pissed at me a
nd don't want to talk, I'll deal."
She heard the taut thread in his voice, knew what her silence would cost him, knew, too that he'd never blame her for it. "It doesn't bother me, Cooper." Honest in her choice, she kissed him, his shoulders hot silk under her hands. "I like being cared for, like knowing that you watch out for me."
It made her wolf feel secure on the innermost level, and she had no quarrel with who she was, what made her happy--and one of those things was giving her man what he needed to feel the same. "Even if we're fighting, I'll send you bad-tempered text messages now and then. My way of caring for you." As integral to her personality as protecting her was to his. "Let me, okay? Don't do the proud dominant thing and get mad at me for it."
God, Cooper thought, she was beautiful. Taking something that had almost crushed him, threatened to shred his pride, and turning it around so that he was the one giving her a gift. "How did you get so strong, Grace?" Strong enough to not care about being perceived as weak by those who didn't know better, didn't understand the beauty of her spirit.
Her smile was slow and just for him. "I have to be--I plan to play bad-girl games with a lieutenant."
In her thrall, he ran his fingers under the edge of her T-shirt, touched soft, silky skin, the contact easing the agony of memory. "Any particular lieutenant?"
"Oh...I was thinking Matthias is quite a hun-- Eek!" She landed on her back on the bed, with him braced over her, though he was careful to keep the majority of his weight off her.
"Take that back." He knew she was playing with him in an effort to lessen his hurt and loved her even more for it.
An impenitent glance. "Make me."
"Grr." He nipped at her neck, remembering too late that he had to be careful of that vulnerable spot...but she giggled, then slapped a hand over her mouth.
Chapter 13
"WE HAVE TO be quiet." A whisper. "Elizabeth and Diego are only two cubicles down."
Cooper ran his hand down her body, so delighted that he didn't care who heard them, the lingering shadow of pain eclipsed by searing joy. "What's my incentive?" he asked, luxuriating in the scent of her. Warm and luscious and pure woman. His woman.
A hand curling over his nape, fingers touching his lips. "Cooper."
That voice, that tone. "Nu-huh," he said, throat dry. "You are not seducing me on this tiny bed." He wanted to take his time with her, wanted her to feel free to scream.
She nuzzled at his throat in response, licking and sucking. And he knew he was a goner. Growling low in his throat, more a vibration than sound, he reached down and fisted his erection, his towel long since gone. It wasn't for pleasure but to force himself to slow the hell down. No wolf female would be impressed by a man who spilled all over her at her first touch.
"That's my job." A husky protest, her hand moving down his body.
Releasing himself, he halted her. "Wait, I want skin."
She raised her arms above her head at the blunt demand, let him tug the T-shirt over her body to expose lush breasts in a simple black sports bra, the neckline a deep vee. "I wanted to wear lace for you," she whispered, a touch of color on her cheeks.
"Next time." Since he'd all but swallowed his tongue, the words came out thick. "Shit, take it off or I'll rip it." Not the smoothest or most romantic of words, but Grace wiggled sexily under him as she pulled the stretchy material off over her head and threw it aside.
He already had his hand, his mouth on her ripe flesh, so creamy and plump and tantalizing. She jerked under him, her hand gripping his nape and a stifled cry escaping her mouth. Breath heavy, he rose up, demanded a kiss while he petted and fondled one of her breasts, received it.
Grace's fingers landed on his hips, dug in.
Breaking the kiss, his cock pushing into the silken skin of her abdomen, he looked down to see brown eyes gone hazy. Lush and curvy and all woman, Grace made him grit his teeth and bury his face in the curve of her neck.
Her hands stroked up over his shoulders. "What's wrong?"
"I'm about to come like a schoolboy," he ground out, and it might have been an embarrassing confession...if Grace hadn't softened impossibly further and reached down to curve her fingers around the hard evidence of his need. It wasn't brazen, but neither was it hesitant. No, it was the possessive grip of a woman who knew she could claim any and every skin privilege she wanted when it came to him.
"Christ, Grace. Sweetheart, stop or--"
His brain blanked as she began to move her hand.
"Like this." Closing his fingers over hers, he showed her how fast and almost rough he liked it. She followed his lead without argument, her confidence increasing with every stroke until he fisted one hand in her hair, levered himself up over her, and buried his face in the side of her neck again in an effort to muffle his growl as he came all over her hand and stomach.
The orgasm ripped over his spine, bowed his back, pulse after pulse punching through his body.
Breath harsh in the aftermath, he fought not to collapse on her. "I got you all sticky."
A nuzzling kiss to his throat from the generous, sensual woman in bed with him. "I like carrying your scent on my skin."
He thrust into her hand again, his erection near full-strength once more. And he had the thought that he could come all night for her, but he had other priorities. Forcing himself to get up, he used his still-damp T-shirt to clean off the evidence of his desire. Grace watched him with lazy eyes the entire time and when he threw the tee aside to move his hands to the button of her jeans, she sank her teeth into her lower lip and raised her hips off the sheet so he could tug the jeans off, throw them aside.
Her panties were black like her bra, but lace rather than cotton, hinting at the dark curls beneath. Shifting to the foot of the bed, he spread her thighs and settled himself between, breathing deep of her musk. "I want to eat you up, Grace," he murmured, pressing a kiss to her navel as he lifted her legs up around his shoulders, his gaze taking in those glorious breasts for which he had plans.
She ran the heels of her feet down his back in a gentle caress. "Cooper." It was a sexy complaint.
He smiled. "Am I talking too much and doing too little?" he murmured, using a claw to cut off the sides of her panties so he could tug them off. "Let me lick it better."
She sucked in a breath. "I like the things you say." A whispered admission that undid him.
"You're so pretty here, Grace." He nuzzled at her navel before lifting his head and sliding his hands under her buttocks to tilt her up to his mouth. Using his thumbs, he spread her for him. "So pink and wet and plump."
A feminine moan she blocked with her fist, her body arching toward his mouth in invitation. He took it, dropping his head to give her an openmouthed kiss that had her fingers fisting in the sheets, her body squirming as if she wanted to get away--except from the way she'd gone molten against his tongue, he knew she didn't. Changing his hold to below her knees, he spread her thighs even farther apart and feasted on the taste of Grace. When she began to come, using one hand to lift up the side of her pillow so she could bury her face against it, muffle her cries, he licked and sucked her through the pleasure, then inserted a single finger into her sheath.
Her muscles pulsed around the intrusion. "Grace, sweetheart," he said, his voice a rasp, "you're going to squeeze my cock so good and hard." He moved his finger out, pushed it back in to a gasping sound of pleasure, her face lifting from the pillow, eyes dazed. "Especially when I take you from behind."
Looking up, he made certain she was with him before he thrust again, and again. A fresh slickness coated his finger. He removed it and used his mouth on her once more, careful with her clit, which he knew had to be sensitive. But she didn't protest, her body undulating toward him. The complaint came when he stopped. "Cooper."
Blowing over the flesh he'd teased to creamy need, he said, "I want inside you."
A shudder rippled over her...and she spread her thighs for him, her feet flat on the bed. Biting back a primitive sound of pleasure,
he rose up over her, stopping to suck a nipple into his mouth. "I'm saving these for later," he said when he released the hard nub to kiss his way to her lips. "For dessert." He nudged at her heat with his cock, his arm braced beside her head, his free hand on her hip. Urging her to wrap one leg around his waist, he began to push in, holding her gaze.
Her eyes fluttered shut after a few seconds, and he froze. "Grace, baby, are you with me?"
She ran her claws lightly down his back. "Yes. Oh, please don't stop, Cooper."
Sweat beaded along his forehead, but he locked his muscles in place. "I need to see your eyes, need to know you're really okay." That this wasn't primal submission, but an act of passion, of conscious surrender.
Swallowing, she lifted her lashes, the eyes that met his a shy wolf gold. No fear, human reason in her words. "I'm here. Every part of me." A nip at his throat, a quiet demand.
To have both sides of her nature dance with him, it was the most magnificent gift he'd ever received. Petting and kissing her, he continued to coax her to hold his gaze as he moved in her. "My pretty, sexy Grace," he said, and pushed in to the hilt, his balls slapping at her flesh.
Her nails scraped down his back in response.
His growl a heavy vibration in his chest, he pinned her in place and began to thrust slow and deep until she whimpered in a desperate effort to stifle her cries. They found a faster rhythm, were locked with one another when they fell, wild yellow looking into passion-drenched gold.
*
COOPER's heart was still pounding like the rain outside when he fell onto his back, taking Grace with him so she ended up sprawled on his chest. Shifting one hand, he splayed it on her butt, stroked. She rubbed her foot over his shin in response, circling one of his nipples with a lazy fingertip. "I don't want to be quiet next time."
He tapped her butt playfully and drew in enough breath to say, "You wouldn't have had to be quiet this time if you'd waited."
Kisses on his chest, up his throat, along his jaw. "Are you sorry?"
"I just had an orgasm that almost killed me, and I have naked Grace for a blanket. Yeah, I'm real sorry."
Husky laughter, more kisses, eyes that shimmered with the wolf's amusement. And he had the thought that his choice to share his deepest vulnerability had shifted something between them, given her what she needed to trust him on this level. It embarrassed him to think how he'd fallen apart, but he could deal with it if this was the result. Still--"It wasn't a pity lay, was it?"