by Nalini Singh
Pushing up so she could look down at his face, Grace glared at him, then slapped his chest. "Yes. Absolutely. That's me, a woman who goes around sharing skin privileges with anyone who looks sad. Did I tell you about the engineer who broke his favorite tool the other day? I had to strip right there and--"
He shut up her rant by the expedient of a laughing kiss that had feminine claws pricking his chest. "Sorry," he said when those claws dug a fraction deeper in warning. "I'm male. I had to ask."
A shake of her head but her lips curved...then she ducked her head. "I wanted to crawl all over you the first time we met."
His wolf preened. "I wouldn't have stopped you." He continued to pet her luscious body, his own very enthusiastic about the fact she was snuggled up so close. "God, it makes me feel good to have you here." A pause. "Where you belong."
Her gaze lifted to his again, a little shy, but not afraid in any sense. "I guess...I just needed to know you needed me on some level." It was a painfully honest statement. "You're so strong--my wolf understands a submissive's important role in the pack but couldn't comprehend what I could give you, how I could be your partner." A hand cupping his cheek. "Now I know it isn't about power, but about heart, about loving."
His hand shook as he brushed her hair off her face. "I will always need you--you're strong and brave and goddamn perfect, and you fucking own my heart." And he needed her inside that heart, needed her to accept the mating bond, couldn't understand why she hadn't already.
Especially when tears shimmered in her eyes, as she said, "I love you, Cooper."
His resistance broke. He tumbled them over, made love to her again, and this time, it was slow, full of whispered promises and caresses, a dance so beautiful it shattered his every remaining defense.
Maybe that was why he fell asleep curled around her afterward.
He'd never know what woke him, but he jerked into a sitting position to see it was just after four thirty a.m. Since Grace continued to sleep, he hadn't screamed, and he didn't have the foul aftertaste of nightmare in his mouth.
Thank God. Thank God.
Swallowing, he went to the door Grace had sleepily asked him to pull ajar as a safety precaution before they slept, and used the hallway light to check the portable air gauge, confirmed everything was fine on that point. Only then did he go into the tiny shower at the end of the corridor to wash and take a few deep breaths.
Diego's and Elizabeth's doors were ajar, too, and he heard snores from one as he walked back, the deep breathing of sleep from the other. He checked on the wild wolves as well, heard their sleepy whuffs as they resettled their bodies.
When he returned to the sleep cubicle, Grace had shifted to face the room rather than the wall, but her eyes remained closed. Moving with as much stealth as possible, he found his jeans, pulled them on, the material stiff but wearable. Though, he thought, he might as well run down in wolf form, since he was planning to leave both his phone and his vehicle behind for Grace.
"Cooper?" A drowsy question. "Is it morning?"
"Shh, go to sleep, darling." Taking a seat on the bed, he brushed tangled strands of hair off her face, then indulged himself in one last stroke of her curvy body, her skin marked from his caresses. Primitive as it was, the sight made him feel good. "Storm's past and even the rain's stopped. I better start my run down, help with the post-storm cleanup."
Instead of nodding and going back to sleep, Grace frowned and struggled up into a sitting position, pulling the sheet to her breasts. "You're leaving me while it's still dark? I thought you'd want to stay...a while longer, anyway."
Her hurt tone was an arrow to his heart. "The storm, sweetheart. It'll have made a mess of things. I'll stay tomorrow night."
Blinking, she stared at him for a long time, and he could almost see the wheels turning in her head. "You're always out in the dark, have far more night shifts than you should, and it's clear you don't get enough sleep. Why?"
His wolf paced, looking for a way out and finding only closed doors. "I take the shifts no one else wants." He shrugged and got up, then realized there was nowhere to go in this tiny space. "Just being a good lieutenant."
"That's not how a pack works." Grace got out of bed, the sheet wrapped around her like a toga, and pushed the door fully shut with a quiet snick. "We have to talk about this."
He turned with a snarl, going on the defensive. "Jesus, Grace, you're not that needy. I'm sure you can spend a few hours alone without breaking."
Chapter 14
EVEN A FEW weeks ago, those angry words delivered by a Cooper whose eyes were tinged wolf yellow, would've made Grace stumble back, lower her head and her eyes. That was before he'd played with her, courted her, taught her he'd never ever hurt her. "That's not the point," she argued, refusing to let this go any longer. Maybe she didn't like to push, to demand in the normal scheme of things, but she discovered her wolf was quite willing to do so when it was Cooper's happiness on the line. "I want to know why you avoid sleeping."
"I've told you," he snarled, quiet but adamant, his eyes slamming into hers, the fury in them a wild thing. "Just leave it." His dominance shoved at her.
If it had held the force of a command, she would've backed down, their relationship in splinters, her heart an agony of pain. But furious as he was, Cooper wasn't pulling rank. No, he was simply a pissed-off man who wasn't acting at all like the tough, strong, honest Cooper she knew and loved. "No," she said, holding that powerful gaze. "I won't leave it when I know something's hurting you deep inside."
When he would've opened his mouth to respond, she kept speaking, her words a taut whisper as she fought the urge to yell. "You think I don't know how sleep deprived you are? That I don't feel your wolf's exhaustion? I know you, and I know you're in pain, so you will talk to me."
He bared his teeth, went toe-to-toe with her. "Act like a damn submissive."
Tears pricked her eyes at those bad-tempered words, but they weren't tears of pain or of hurt. "I am. I'm acting like your submissive." The one who knew he'd die before he'd crush her spirit, no matter if such an act would win him the argument.
Growling deep in his chest, he picked her up and pressed her to the back of the door, the sheet falling to the floor as she grabbed reflexively at his shoulders, her legs going around his hips again. She found herself face-to-face with the wolf, his eyes pure feral yellow, his body pressed to the delicate, unprotected core of her, naked against the abrasive denim of his jeans.
Rather than flinching or pulling away, she touched her fingers to his face, stroking. "I see you," she whispered, her own wolf rising to the surface. "I see you, Cooper."
The affectionate whisper, that pale gold gaze devoid of fear, it destroyed him. Turning his face into her touch while never breaking the beauty of the eye contact, he reached down her body to stroke her, drank her sigh in a kiss. She didn't refuse him when he undid his jeans, taking him with a gasp of welcome, her lips seeking his in a delicate kiss that was inexpressibly feminine.
Shuddering, he let her take control, walking backward until the backs of his knees hit the bed. He sat down, his woman on his lap, and surrendered to her loving. Until he felt adored in the most tender of ways. Until he knew that if she ever left him, he'd break forever.
Later, after the pleasure, and knowing she would fight him again if need be, this woman with a spirit strong as steel, he admitted the horror that stalked him. "I don't want you to see me, hear me, like that, and it infuriates me that I can't escape it. I'm not that scared boy any longer, haven't been for a long time."
Grace brushed her hand over his scalp, understanding why he'd fought so bitterly against telling her. For a dominant to confess to such a weakness would feel like an unmanning--and he'd already been emotionally raw after last night. Even now, she could see him withdrawing, his wolf refusing to meet her gaze.
But there was something important in what he'd said, something he was too close to see. "You said the nightmares started up around the time you began to
court me seriously."
A nod, jaw clenched.
"It's because I matter, Cooper." It made her heart hurt to understand how much. "You worry about me in a way you haven't worried about anyone since you were a boy."
Cooper didn't say anything for a long time. "I'm always going to worry about you."
"Ditto." Pressing her fingers to his lips, she said, "But maybe the nightmares won't come when you know beyond any doubt that I'm safe and sound. I can't get much safer than in your arms."
He didn't look convinced, but he didn't fight her when she asked him to come to her bed again the next night. She knew he didn't sleep properly, determined to hold the darkness at bay, but by the third day, he was so exhausted he crashed. This time, it was Grace who didn't sleep. She knew what it would do to him to wake up screaming--so she'd kiss him at the first sign of trouble, seduce him until he forgot what had originally disturbed his sleep.
It was the only answer she had, and if it failed, she didn't know what they'd do. Cooper was so proud, it would savage him if he couldn't win the fight against the nightmares, because a fight was how his wolf saw it. He needed to beat this challenge, needed to protect the woman who was his own against the shadows in the dark.
To her endless relief, he slept like the dead.
And woke amorous.
Grace smiled as she wrapped her legs around his hips, met his sleepy-eyed kiss. Maybe she was wrong and the bad nights would return, but she didn't think so. Not when Cooper had spent the night with her tucked up tight against him, his arm locked around her waist. "Possessive beast," she murmured when he bit her throat hard enough that she'd wear the mark all day.
She felt his lips curve against her as he licked over the brand.
*
TWO weeks after their return from the station, and with the den's power supply back to full strength as of five days earlier, Grace came home to find a bath in the room she now shared with Cooper. An honest-to-goodness bath, clawed feet and all. Filled with steaming water that carried a heady floral scent, delicate pink petals scattered over its surface.
Grace stared. She had no idea how he'd even gotten the thing into the room, much less how he'd arranged it so the water would be the perfect temperature when she arrived home. Shucking off her clothes, she slipped into it with a groan of pure pleasure. No one could say her man didn't know how to court a woman--the entire pack was wondering why she was leading her lover on such a chase, even as they applauded his tactics.
The fact was, it had taken an agonizing level of self-control on her part not to surrender to the bond. She'd been teetering on the cusp of it the morning at the station, but after his confession about his nightmares, she'd known she had to wait, no matter if the hunger to bond with him was a constant ache inside her. Never did she want him to wonder why she'd accepted the bond, whether she'd done it only so he'd always know if she was safe.
He'd been a little shaky the first few days, his wolf waiting for the ax to fall. But as the nights continued to pass, dreamless and peaceful, he began to get aggravated by her resistance to the bond. She'd danced in joy when he restarted his relentless campaign, complete with deliveries of romantic handmade chocolates...inscribed with sexual favors on the backs; the sudden appearance of a coveted new tool in her toolbox; and daily love-song requests on the internal SnowDancer radio station that had every adult in the pack--and some clever juveniles--tuning in at 9 p.m. to see what he'd ask for next. And how.
Her favorite was the time he'd dedicated it to, "The obstinate she-wolf who thinks I should learn the meaning of patience." A pause before his growl turned silky. "Though last night, she threatened to murder me when I tried to demonstrate how good a student I've been."
Mortified by the intimate tease, she'd blushed her way through the next day...but secretly, she liked being an "obstinate she-wolf," loved that he never used the careful voice on her anymore, demonstrating his rock-solid belief in her emotional strength with every dirty trick he played as he attempted to wear down her resistance.
And Cooper had some very dirty tricks in his arsenal.
Moaning with remembered pleasure, she rose out of the bath, dried herself off, then shifted. Her wolf sniffed at itself, not too sure about the floral scent but deciding it was acceptable since Cooper's scent underlay it, embedded into her very skin. Jaw dropping in a wolfish grin, she padded to the door, pressed her paw to the special footpad to open it and slipped out, the door swinging shut behind her.
It took her no effort to track Cooper, his scent vivid to her every sense. He was outside, speaking to several of the senior soldiers. When she would've remained on the edge of the clearing, waiting for him to finish, he turned and smiled at her, angling his head in welcome.
She padded over to lean against his leg.
As she listened, Cooper finished working out some kind of a rotation schedule, and the soldiers began to break away one by one, the grins on their faces having nothing to do with work.
Cooper came down in a crouch after the last soldier left, stroking his hand down the slope of her back. "You're such a pretty wolf, Grace."
She yipped in a request for play.
Hand fisting in her fur, he said, "Okay, you convinced me. Give me a minute."
It took him less than that to strip and cache his clothes in the hollow created by the thick roots of a forest giant. A wonder of light and color, and she found herself faced with a heavy-boned wolf who had become a familiar playmate. He was at least a hand bigger than her, maybe twice her weight, his eyes shimmering yellow and his coat a luxuriant dark red.
She quivered as he pressed his body against hers, acting shy...before she pounced up to grip at his neck with her teeth. He snapped his own teeth in a pretend growl and nipped at her ear as she jumped back, making her release a startled squeak-bark.
A wolfish laugh.
Snarling, she attacked him and they rolled around on the grass, wrestling and whipping around one another. She knew he was letting her play--he was so much bigger and stronger that it would've taken him but a second to seize control. But she also knew he was having fun. So when a low-hanging branch distracted him, she took off.
Grace didn't like being chased as a rule--it was scary, stressful...except when it was Cooper doing the chasing. Then it was fun.
Heart thudding, she scrambled up hills and across clearings, aware of him gaining on her--and then his paws were on her shoulders, taking her down. It was a classic demand for submission, but when the bigger wolf nuzzled at her and jumped off, she knew he was telling her he'd won the game, nothing more.
Grinning, she rose up to her full height and yawned in a gesture of impertinence.
Cooper bared his teeth at his mate--if the contrary female would just accept the bond--and stared into her eyes. She stared back, unafraid, her tail up, her gaze bright. Had anyone come upon them, they might have believed she challenged him, but that wasn't it at all. It felt as if she was adoring him.
All at once, her form dissolved in faceted sparks of color.
He shifted alongside her and let out an "oomph" as she pounced on him again, playful as a pup. "Hi, Cooper."
His cheeks creased where he lay on his back with her over him. "Hi, Grace."
"Guess what?" A very wolfish angle to her head.
"What?"
Leaning in close, she whispered. "I decided."
His spine bowed as the mating bond locked into place, as gentle and as fierce a thing as Grace herself. Throwing back his head, he howled his joy, heard the wild wolves howl back. And then he heard his Grace, her voice melding with his in a harmony that was their song of the heart.
Epilogue
LARA COULDN'T BELIEVE it was already the night of their mating ceremony. Held in the arms of her mate as they swayed to the music from the live jazz band, she looked around the Pack Circle, the dance area in the center surrounded by wooden picnic tables. Those tables held an array of delicacies that had the children and adults both in raptures--her mother, Lar
a thought with a smile, had no doubt been planning the menu since the day Lara mated Walker.
Giant painted butterflies decorated several trees; Marlee's contribution to the plan. The wooden creatures had been cut out and glued together by Toby and his friends before being painted by Marlee, Sienna, Evie, Brenna, and a number of the younger members of the pack, including a rambunctious but wildly talented Ben.
"Look at what my baby did," Ava had said with delight earlier that day, pointing to a butterfly painted with a joyful enthusiasm that made the creature seem alive. "The Stone artistic talent clearly runs true."
Now, that butterfly and the others shimmered in the fairy lights that lit up the early evening darkness, the sound of their packmates voices and the children's laughter intertwining with the music to create a harmony unique to this moment.
"Happy?" Walker's breath brushed her temple, the masculine heat of him making her wolf rub up against her skin, as it had against his hand when she'd shifted for their early morning run.
"So happy."
The pack's pleasure in their match had been clear since the day word got out about Walker's courtship, but Lara hadn't realized the full extent of it until tonight. Kisses on the cheek, hugs, whispered congratulations accompanied by thoughtful gifts, they kept coming. Walker had found himself shaking hands with people throughout the night, been hugged by countless children.
"Are you having fun?" she asked, aware he preferred to stay out of the limelight.
"I get to celebrate you." A slow curve of his lips. "It's a perfect night."
"Walker."
Bending his head and sliding one hand around her nape, he kissed her slow and with exquisite patience...so long and deep that howls went up around them. But her mate didn't release her until he was good and ready. Flustered and pleasured, her hands fisted on the fine cotton of his white shirt, she drew in a trembling breath. "Just when I thought I could predict what you'd do next..."