Friar Tuck

by Robert Alexander Wason

  CHAPTER FORTY

  AN IRRITATING GRIN

  Now, you can mighty easy understand that this was a fair sized,able-bodied, bite-and-kick consternation for us, if ever the' was onein the world. Our look-out was behind a ridge which sheltered itcomplete from below, but left it as open from above as the straw hatwhich Stutterin' Sam made the dude crawl through. Up above us, lookin'down from the rocks in front of our camp was Ty Jones, grinnin' asself-composed an' satisfied as a cat which has just removed allevidence of there ever havin' been any Canary birds; and truth totell, we felt as indiscriminate and embarrassed as a naked man at adance party.

  All we saw was just Ty and his grin. We knew the' was one other manwith him, but that was all we did know; while our strength was asplain to them, as Tillte Dutch was the time he fell in love and usediodaform on his hair instead o' perfume. We just stood and looked upat Ty, and then we turned our heads and looked at each other, and Inever saw as many stupid expressions in one mess. We felt as thoughevery minute was liable to be our next.

  Whenever ol' Tank Williams was surprised or puzzled or wrastlin' withhis own thoughts, he allus put me in mind of a picture I once saw of awalrus. The walrus was loungin' up on a rock, and he looked as solemnand philosophical as though some young snip of a school boy had testedhis intellect by askin' him what two times one made. I never saw Tanklook so much like the walrus as he did this time 'at Ty Jonessurprised us. O' course Tank's teeth was different, but his mustachesstuck down in much the same way, and when I looked at him, I bustedout laughin', though I own up I was scared enough to stampede themoment before. When I laughed, it seemed to break the charm, andbefore I buttoned up my lips again, Horace had pulled up his elephantgun, and taken a blast at Ty's grin. Ty pulled down his face behindthe stone as soon as Horace aimed at him; but the range was longenough to strain even such a devil-tool as this half-grown cannon, sonothin' came of it.

  After my chuckle, I began to think in streams. The ground to the rightof us--as we looked up towards Ty--was broken, and it occurred to methat he had been holdin' us with his grin so as to give some of hismen time to sneak down and cut us off, he and the balance were aboveus, the ravine to our left, and straight back of us the cliff. Wecouldn't stick where we were again' odds, and there wasn't any waterin the clump of rocks which faced the path where it come out of theravine. As I ran over these details in my mind, I had as littletemptation to laugh as I ever did have; but the second I thought ofthe clump o' rocks facin' the path, I saw that the path itself was theanswer.

  There was no reason to hurry, as far as I could see; they could notcome to us without exposin' themselves, and every moment we waited,the closer would come Dutch, Slim, and the four Simpson boys. To theright of us, as I said, the ground was broken, and here was where theywould be most likely to sneak down on us. By goin' in a diagonaldirection, we could get to where we could see straight up the washeswhich made up this broken ground, and so know what we had to fight.

  "Come on, fellers," sez I, climbin' up over the ridge.

  "Where ya goin'?" sez Horace.

  I sat down on top o' the ridge. "Have you got any plan?" sez I calmly.

  "No," sez he, "I haven't; but I'd like to know--"

  "If you're willin' to take charge," sez I, "why, go ahead, and I'llobey orders; but I don't care how small the body is, it can't do quickwork with more 'n one head, as you ought to know better 'n any ofus--it havin' been tried frequent in those Greek tales you're all thetime inflictin' us with."

  Horace put his back up a little. "I'm willin' to agree to anythingreasonable," sez he; "but I don't see any sense in leavin' this spotuntil we know where we're goin'."

  I folded my fingers together, set my thumbs to chasin' each other, andbegan to whistle. I wasn't jealous of Horace; but it just occurred tome that I had handled men before he'd mustered up courage enough tostay out after seven o'clock P. M. without gettin' his mother'spermission, and I wanted to test the others and see if they thought hehad picked up more craft in three years 'n I had in a lifetime; so Iwhistled the tune to his song, and looked up at the clouds.

  "What's your idee, Happy?" sez ol' Tank. I had nourished Tank onthought-food for a good long session, and I knew he'd feel mighty muchlike a lost calf if I left him to rustle up his own idees; so I justgave my hands a little toss and kept on with my whistlin'.

  "Aw, don't be so blame touchy," sez Spider Kelley. I had pulled Spiderthrough a number o' tight places, also, and I knew he'd soon begin tofeel trapped up and smothery, if I left him to sweat out his own ideesfor a few minutes longer; so I gave him the same gesture I hadbestowed on Tank.

  "What do you think we'd better do, Olaf?" sez Horace.

  Olaf looked all around but did not see anything. "They have come upthe ravine, took the path up the other side, through the clump o'trees, made a wide circle and got to our camp," sez Olaf. "If we tryto get away, they cut us off. If we stay here, we die for want ofwater. If we rush up the hill, they shoot us from behind the rocks.All I can see is to wait until night, and then make a rush for it."

  "Well, that don't look like much of an idee to me," sez Horace. I kepton whistlin'.

  "I move we foller Happy," sez Spider Kelley.

  "I second the motion," sez Tank.

  "I'm willin' to," sez Olaf, and Oscar nodded his head. This was aboutall Oscar ever used his head for except to hang his hat on; but he wasa good boy and sizey.

  "All right," sez Horace. "Now then, Happy Hawkins, the responsibilityis on you."

  "Now, be sure you mean this," sez I; "for my plan is a foolish one,and I don't care to explain each step. I don't claim 'at my scheme isthe best; but my experience has been, that a poor plan carried outbeats a good plan which never came in. Climb up here, and we'll walkoff in that direction without lookin' behind us."

  They couldn't see any sense in this; but they follered me withoutchatterin', and I was satisfied. Horace had the field glasses in hispocket; so when we had reached the place I thought would do, I set himto lookin' across the crick careful to see if he could see anything.All the others watched him, and I got behind and looked up the slope.I saw several men hidin' in the washes, and I said in a low tone:"Keep on lookin' across the hill, Horace. Now, you others get out frombehind him. Now, Horace, whirl and examine the washes up the slope andsee how many men you can count."

  Horace whirled, as did all the rest of 'em, and we found seven fellersin sight. We figured 'at there must be at least fifteen Cross-brandersin the neighborhood, and probably more, and the ones we were able tosee in the washes convinced me 'at Ty had staked everything on gettin'us cornered. They didn't have enough to split up, so I felt sure theywould leave the ravine open, not thinkin' it likely we'd try to godown there.

  "Now," sez I, "let's go to that clump o' rocks and hide." They allcame along; but didn't seem enthusiastic, because the washes led downclose to the rocks--we, ourselves, havin' sneaked down 'em while wewere waitin' for the woman that day. We couldn't see the path the boyswould take in comin' up to our camp from across the crick, while theCross-branders could see 'em a good part o' the way, and this frettedme a lot; though I hoped they had heard Horace's elephant gun.

  After a time, Horace, through the glasses, saw a feller's headwatchin' us from our old look-out; so we knew they had crept up alongthe back o' that ridge. Then we heard consid'able shootin' off to theright, and knew the boys had got back. There were several good placesfor ambush, and we felt purty blue at what had most likely happened;but they were on hossback, and would be on their guard after knowin''at the Cross-branders were up to some trick; so we hoped for thebest.

  This clump o' rocks we were in was composed of one big crag and a loto' little ones. The big one shut off our view, and finally Horace saidit would be a good plan to get on top of it, as the chances were wecould get a good view in all directions. It was fifteen feet up towhere the' was footin', and we didn't see how it could be done; but hesaid it was simple; so we let him try it. He made Olaf and Tank facethe rock, holdin' on to
each other. Then I climbed to their shouldersand they passed up Horace. I handed him up as far as I could reach,and it was as simple as peelin' a banana. The signal was for him todrop a pebble when he wanted to come down.

  In about two moments a stone the size o' your fist fell on Oscar'shead; which was a good thing, for it might otherwise have hurt a headwe had more use for. We laddered ourselves again' the rock, and Horacecame down without missin' a single one of our ears. When he reachedthe level, he put his finger on his lips, and said he had seen ten mensneakin' up toward the rock and only a few hundred feet away. Oscarwas still holdin' to the lump on his head, so Horace explained 'atthe' hadn't been any pebbles on top the crag.

  "Now, what ya goin' to do?" asked Horace to me.

  "You, Olaf, and Oscar go around the rock to the left," sez I; "andTank, Spider, and I'll go around to the right. Each fire only once,and then run around the rock again and make for the path leadin' downinto the ravine. Keep close together all the way."

  "The ravine!" exclaimed Spider.

  "Sure," sez I.

  "All right," sez Spider, draggin' out the "all" until it would do for"I told ya so," in case we got pocketed.

  It worked fine; we flew around, surprised 'em, shot a volley into 'em,made 'em seek cover, and then we flew for the head o' the path. Ol'Tank, with his damaged prop, was as nimble as a one-legged Normanhoss, and Horace was loaded down with elephant ammunition; so that itwas wise to have all the time we could get. Ty and five others jumpedup from our look-out, and tried to head us off; but they had to gotwice as far as we did. Ty and two others had rifles, and they stoppedand took shots at us, but nothin' came of it.

  "Hurry on to the ranch buildin's," I called as we went down the path.Then I turned back, to see what they were doin'.

  "Let me take a shot at 'em," sez Horace's voice at my elbow.

  "Why didn't you go on with the rest?" sez I. "I can give you half wayand beat you runnin'."

  "Let me take just one shot," sez Horace, so I gave in and let him. Twofellers were runnin' at a long angle toward the mouth o' the ravine tohead us off, and get a shot from above; so I told him to try for oneo' them. He fiddled with his hind sight as calm as though shootin' fora Christmas turkey, and hanged if he didn't topple one over. The otherstopped, and then ran back with his head ducked low to the ground,while the wounded one crawled behind a rock.

  "Now dust for the buildin's," sez I; "and don't try any more nonsense.Let me carry the weapon, and you won't be so overloaded. I'll startafter you in a jiffy."

  When I looked back, I saw that all of 'em had slowed down consid'able,out o' respect to the elephant gun; but I could still count seventeen,so we hadn't seen 'em all before. When they started towards the headof the path again, I took a shot at Ty Jones; but I didn't savvy therear sight, and all it did was to make 'em slow down once more. Then Islid down the path and hot-footed it down the ravine. I saw signs o'hosses, so I knew they had rode most of their trip, and would be in aposition to circle around all they wanted to.

  I soon caught up with the others, and Tank was puffin' purty freely.All the rest were runnin' easy, and we came out o' the mouth o' theravine without seein' a single soul. Now, we hardly knew what to do.It was about the same distance from the mouth o' the ravine to thefirst curve in it, as it was to the woman's cabin; so I told Spider tostay at the corner o' the cabin, and watch that curve.

  Then we went around and found the door locked. We called twice to thewoman, but the' was no reply; so Olaf picked up a big stone andknocked off the lock. We made a quick examination; but the' was no onethere. I posted Horace and Spider in this cabin to watch the mouth o'the ravine through the window facin' it, and to shoot into 'em, shouldthey foller us close.

  We next went to the big house, where we had more trouble as everythingwas fastened with bars on the inside, except the front door which hadan immense padlock on the outside. We finally broke it off, and outdashed three o' their confounded dogs. We killed 'em, and went inside;but the' was no one else there. Next we went to the workshop, andafter breakin' off the padlock, we found the Friar and Promotheusgagged and tied. The Friar was sad, and Promotheus was mad. We sent'em up to the cook-shack to get on speakin' terms with food again, andrummaged the rest o' the buildin's; but could find neither the womannor the Chink, and by the time we were through, it was gettin' alongtowards dark.

  I set Tank to cookin' a meal while the rest of us carried logs andpiled 'em in the mouth o' the ravine. It would be moonlight up to teno'clock, and after that I intended to have a fire to see by. We alsoset up some logs at each o' the two fords. After supper we dividedinto two equal groups o' four each, to stand guard, each man to watchtwo hours, one at the window of the new cabin, the other from theporch of the old one, where a view across both fords could be had.

  The Friar was purty downcast at our not bein' able to find the woman,and at our still bein' in a state o' war; but he didn't kick none. Hepromised not to go over and surrender himself any more, and said hewould stand guard careful, and warn us the first thing 'at happened.We decided 'at they would probably attack us that night, and wefinally chose the old shack, as it had water piped into it from aspring a hundred yards above. I figured 'at they'd be most apt to comedown the ravine, so I picked out the Friar, Olaf, and Tank to help mewatch it, and the others to take turns watchin' the fords.

  About half past nine, we lit the fires and turned in, with Oscar onthe porch, and Olaf at the window of the new cabin. I thought theywouldn't come before two o'clock, and had it arranged so 'at the lastford watches would be held by Spider and Promotheus.