“Yes, I am definitely ready to get out of this bed,” I answer, eagerly. I feel like I have been stuck in here for weeks.
“Fantastic. Well, don’t forget that in the meantime, you still need your rest.” He looks to Lydia and she gives him her most innocent look.
“I promise that I won’t stay too long,” Lydia says, which seems to satisfy the doctor.
“Okay, ladies. I will see you tomorrow, Stacey. I will be operating all day, so the nurses will be on hand if you need anything.”
“Thank you, doctor.” He smiles and then leaves the room.
I turn to Lydia and am desperate to talk about something else other than why I am in here, or why my brain has decided to forget the last few weeks of my life. “So, Lyd. How’s things with you? How’s it going with Donnie?” The colour drains from Lydia’s face at my question.
Shit, what did I say that has made her look like that at me?
“Um… You don’t remember what Donnie did?” Lydia’s voice is quiet. I look at her and my expression must be blank. She takes a deep breath and continues to speak. “He’s gone, Stace. He turned out to be an asshole, so he’s gone.”
“What did he do?” Last I remember, Lydia was crazy about him.
“I don’t really want to talk about that right now.” Lydia looks to the floor and I am a little shocked that she doesn’t want to tell me. We tell each other everything.
“Oh, okay.” I decide to let it go for now. “I must say though, I am so glad that you got rid of him. He gave me the creeps.”
“Anyway,” Lydia says, clearly wanting to change the subject. “Tell me, what is the last memory that you have?”
“Hang on,” I say, my suspicious gaze narrowing on her. “Why aren’t you the least bit shocked that I am having a memory loss issue? I mean, this is the first time that you are visiting me, so I haven’t been able to tell you.”
“Uh…”
“Lydia?” I say in a questioning tone.
Lydia rolls her eyes and takes a deep sigh. “Jake told me.”
“Jake? As in, the guy that was here when I woke up? That Jake?”
“Yes.”
“So, I have no idea who he really is, and you two are discussing me behind my back?”
“It’s not like that, Stace,” Lydia insists. “Jake is worried about you, even more so now that you don’t remember him.”
“Oh jeez, I feel so sorry for him,” I say sarcastically.
“Don’t be like that.”
“I’m sorry,” I say with a sigh. “I just don’t want you discussing me with someone that I don’t even know.”
“But, you do know him.”
“No I don’t,” I reply a little more forcefully than before.
“Okay, point taken,” Lydia says as she holds her hands up in surrender. “Are you going to tell me about your last memory now that you have finished berating me?” Lydia asks cockily, clearly wanting to change the subject.
“I hardly think berating you is the appropriate term. Questioning you is more like it.”
“Hmm. Well, I feel like I have been suitably told off, so please, back to the memory stuff, if you don’t mind?”
I giggle at her response and decide to appease her curious mind. “My last memory is going to the Bowden Hall with Charles for one of his events for work. I remember getting out of the car when we arrived, and then it just goes blank.”
“And you have no recollection of anything after that? Nothing at all?” I shake my head at her. “Nothing remotely familiar about Jake?” I roll my eyes at her question.
What is the big deal about this Jake guy?
“I thought that we were done talking about Jake?” I ask her.
“We are. I just thought that I would double check,” she replies with a sweet smile plastered on her face.
“You don’t fool me, Lydia. I have known you far too long.”
“I have no idea what you are talking about,” Lydia answers, feigning ignorance.
“Uh huh,” I reply, not convinced by her act in the slightest. “On a more serious note though, I need you to fill me in on what I have forgotten. I only have Jake’s version to go on, and I don’t know what to believe right now. I know that you won’t lie to me.”
“Of course I can, babes. But, before I start, I just need to say that, Jake wouldn’t lie to you either.”
“And how can you be sure of that?” I raise an eyebrow quizzically.
“Because, he isn’t like that.” Lydia pulls the chair closer to my bed and puts her feet up on my mattress. She makes herself comfortable and I assume that this conversation is going to take a while. I turn on my good side and face Lydia. “Right, you ready to begin?”
I nod, and Lydia starts to tell me everything about Charles and Jake. I don’t interrupt her. I just quietly listen. I am desperately hoping that something she says will jog my memory.
It takes a fair while for Lydia to go through everything. It sounds like some kind of soap opera, but I have to face the fact that it isn’t a made-up script. Lydia wouldn’t make any of this up, so I need to accept that my life has been a whirlwind over the last few weeks.
When Lydia has finished, I remain silent, processing all that she has told me.
“You and Jake are made for each other, Stace. He’s like your knight in shining armour.” Her cheesy comparison makes me laugh.
“That sounds so corny.”
“It’s true,” she says, smiling.
“How so?” I would like to see how she can justify her knight in shining armour comment.
“Well… Um… I need to tell you something else, and it’s not going to be pleasant for you to hear.” She looks nervous.
“Okay. It can’t be that bad, surely?”
“It is, Stace. I need you to promise me that if it gets too much for you to hear, then you will tell me to stop.”
Shit, she really means what she is saying. Now I’m a little worried.
“Okay. I promise.”
“Okay. Here goes…”
Chapter Seven
Stacey
I sit in silence after listening to what Lydia had to say. It’s hard to take it all in.
Lydia is just sat there, staring at me, waiting for me to say something.
“Lyd, would you mind going to get me a cup of coffee, please?”
“Uh, sure.” She shifts awkwardly in the chair. “Do you not want to discuss what I just told you?” It’s not often that I see Lydia struggling to say the right thing, but this is one of those moments.
“I just need a few minutes to process it all.” I smile at her to try and hide my sadness at what has happened to me.
“Okay, babes, I won’t be long.” Lydia stands up and gives me a hug before picking up her bag and leaving the room.
When the door closes, I let the tears fall. I held them back somehow whilst Lydia was here. There is just so much stuff that I can’t remember. Leaving Charles, Donnie assaulting me, and Jake rescuing me. Jake then rejecting me, only to come back to me again, moving in with Lydia, and then Caitlin stalking me and eventually stabbing me. I cannot comprehend it all.
Why can’t I remember?
Why has my brain erased all of this?
I lie on the bed, wipe my tears away, close my eyes and pretend that I have fallen asleep as I don’t want Lydia to fuss over me. I pull the covers up to my chin and lie still, waiting for Lydia to return, which she does a few moments later. I keep my ears alert as I hear her put a cup down on the table by my bed.
“I’ll come back tomorrow, Stace. Keep strong, babes.” She kisses my cheek softly, and then I hear her leave the room.
The door clicks closed behind her and I open my eyes, my tears re-emerging.
Tears of sadness and frustration leave me sobbing.
My sobs echo throughout the room and I suddenly feel very much alone.
Jake
Lydia’s name appears on the screen of my phone and I immediately answer the call.
“How is she?” I ask urgently, without even saying hello.
“Not good, Jake. I told her everything, including what happened with Donnie.”
“Fuck. Why did you do that?” I feel angry that I wasn’t there for that conversation.
“She wanted to know what had been going on. I told her everything about you and about how she left Charles and moved in with me. I had to tell her about Donnie. It’s part of what has happened to her.” Lydia’s voice breaks. “She sent me to get her a cup of coffee, and when I went back to the room, she was pretending to be asleep. She doesn’t know that I know that she was pretending. I’ve only just left. You need to go and see her, Jake.”
“I’m already on my way.”
Stacey
I have been crying since Lydia left, and there is no sign of me stopping anytime soon.
I am an absolute mess.
I grab a tissue out of the box on the table beside me, blow my nose and try to dry my eyes. I am so glad that the nurse isn’t due until this afternoon. It’s only eleven-thirty in the morning, so I have plenty of time to pull myself together.
If only there was something to occupy my mind, or to distract me from my thoughts. All I can think about is what Lydia told me. She tried to talk to me about the one-night-stand that I had with Jake, nearly seven months ago. I remember the sex, but the guy doesn’t really have a face. It sounds so stupid, but I genuinely can’t picture the guy being Jake.
I now have no reason to think that Jake is lying about what has happened between us though. Lydia has confirmed it all.
I am going to drive myself crazy being cooped up in here. There is way too much time to think. My head is whirring, and my emotions are all over the place.
The door to my room opens suddenly, and Jake walks in. My breath catches in my throat as he comes straight over to me and gently wraps his arms around me. I don’t try to move away from him, and I sob into his chest, soaking his shirt in the process.
He just holds me and tries his best to comfort me.
I don’t know how long it takes me to regain some composure, but he doesn’t rush me. He continues to hold me, waiting patiently.
“It’s okay, babe. Let it all out,” he whispers, his voice soothing.
I pull my head away from him and I look into his caramel-coloured eyes. They really are striking. I bet I look horrific with my red puffy eyes and my snotty nose.
“I’m sorry, Jake. I’m trying to remember, but it’s all just blank.” I feel so hopeless.
“Hey.” He strokes my cheek with his thumb, wiping away some tears in the process. “We will figure it out. We will get through this.” He seems so sure, but I am not convinced.
“It’s like one big, giant mind fuck.” I don’t watch my language. I think I can be excused in this instance. “Lydia was telling me all of this stuff, but I just can’t imagine it all happening to me. How can I not know any of it? How can my memory just block it all out?”
“I don’t know, Stace. I wish that I knew the answers, but I don’t. I will help you as much as I can, but you have to let me in. I know it feels like I am a stranger to you at this present time, but maybe, if we spend some time together, it may help to bring your memories back?” What he is saying actually makes sense to me.
Maybe if I do spend time with him, then it will jog something in my mind?
The question is, can I really ask him to put his life on hold, so that I can try and figure all of this out?
I don’t know if I can.
Right now, I’m not even sure if I want to remember.
“I can’t let you put your life on hold for me. I may never remember.”
“You are my life, Stacey. I will always be here for you, and if you don’t remember, then we can make new memories.”
Is this guy serious?
Most men would run a mile if something like this happened.
“Listen, Jake, I don’t mean to put even more of a downer on this situation, but what if things don’t feel the same for me as they do for you?” If I thought that he had looked devastated before when I didn’t know who he was, then that has got nothing on the way that he looks right now. A feeling of guilt starts to settle in my gut.
Maybe I should have kept that question to myself?
“How can you say that?” His voice cracks.
“I’m not saying it to hurt you, Jake. I’m just trying to be realistic.” I don’t recognise my voice.
This isn’t me.
This gorgeous man is saying that he wants to help me, and all I am doing is trying to push him away.
Jake backs away from me and runs his hands through his hair. “Jesus, Stace, I know that you have amnesia, but why wouldn’t you feel the same about me? I’m still Jake.”
“Yes, but I don’t know Jake.” I don’t want to sound like a bitch, but I’m afraid that is exactly how I sound.
“Well, then get to know me, Stace,” Jake raises his voice which makes me jump. “Fuck. I need to get out of here.”
I watch as Jake storms out of my room. I actually feel panicked at the thought of him walking away.
What am I doing?
One minute, I don’t want him so close to me, and then the next, I want him to come back. I take deep breaths to try and calm myself down. I am disgusted with myself for the way that I just treated Jake. I need to think about how frustrating this situation must be for him.
I let out a cry of rage.
I need to get out of this hospital and start piecing my life back together.
Chapter Eight
Stacey
I have now been in the hospital for six days, and today I am finally allowed to leave.
My home is at Lydia’s, and that is where I will be going. I am so excited to be leaving this hospital. Lydia is picking me up in half an hour and the doctor should be here in the next twenty minutes to discharge me. I am looking forward to, hopefully, getting some normality back in my life.
I still haven’t regained any of my “lost” memory. It is still frustrating me, but once I get out of here, I am going to try and do anything that I can to help me remember.
Firstly, I want to visit The Den to see if that conjures up anything. Maybe starting with a bad memory will be more helpful? I don’t know if it will be, but I can’t think of any other way to approach this. I’m just going to have to go with the flow.
I haven’t seen Jake since he stormed out of here. A part of me is pleased. I couldn’t stand seeing how much I was hurting him. The other part of me though is a little gutted that he hasn’t been back. What I should have said to him was that, I didn’t feel like I could focus on a relationship until I had sorted myself out. But no, instead I managed to sound like a first-class bitch by telling him that I may never feel the same way about him again.
I need to engage my brain before I talk sometimes. Me and my big mouth.
I am sat, waiting on the edge of the bed when Doctor Reynolds strolls in five minutes earlier than I expected.
“Wow. Someone is eager to get out of here,” he says.
“I can’t wait. No offence.”
“None taken, Miss Paris.”
“I’m just looking forward to getting back to some sort of normality.” Well, whatever my normality is going to be from now on anyway.
“That’s good, but please, don’t go rushing back to work or anything. Your body still has plenty of healing to do. I will need to see you back here in five days to check your wound, and then a nurse will re-dress it for you. If you have any abnormal pain in the meantime, you are to come straight back.” He gives me a stern look and I nod to acknowledge that I have heard what he is saying. “I am very pleased with your progress so far, and I will be sending you home with some painkillers to take if needs be. As for your memory, don’t force it. I am still hopeful that it will come back in due course.”
“But what if it doesn’t?” This has been worrying me more over the last couple of days. Doctor Reynolds smiles and places his hand on my arm in a c
omforting gesture.
“Let’s cross that bridge if that happens. Right now, there is no need to worry about it. Now, I just need you to sign these papers and then you can be on your way.” Doctor Reynolds hands me the papers and shows me where to sign. As I am signing the last piece of paper, Lydia enters the room.
“She all good to go, doc?” Lydia asks.
“She is indeed,” he says, directing his answer at Lydia before turning his attention back to me. “Keep in mind what I said to you, Miss Paris, and I will see you back here on Wednesday. I will get a letter sent out to you to confirm the time of the appointment. Take care of yourself.”
“Thanks for everything,” I reply. Doctor Reynolds smiles at me, shakes my hand, and then leaves the room.
Lydia picks up my hospital bag, which contains a few items of clothes. “You ready to get out of here?” she asks me.
“You bet I am.”
We go to the pharmacy to pick up my painkillers before we leave, then we are on our way out of here, and I follow Lydia to the car park. I said that she could use my car as I wouldn’t be using it for a while. She opens the passenger door for me, and I gently lower myself into the seat. Lydia then shuts the door and goes round to the driver’s side. I put my seat-belt on carefully and try to make myself as comfortable as possible. My side twinges slightly but I ignore it. I don’t want to alarm Lydia by saying anything. Knowing her, she will march me straight back into the hospital, and that is the last thing that I want to happen.
On the drive home, Lydia informs me that she is going to be my personal nurse-maid. She has covered her shifts at The Den for the next week, so I get her company twenty-four seven.
“Lydia, I really don’t need you to do that. I don’t want to put you out.” I don’t like the thought of people halting their lives for me. First Jake wanted to, and now Lydia actually is.
“Don’t talk stupid. You have just been in hospital for a stab wound and a head injury. Plus, you now have amnesia. I am looking after you. End of discussion.” There is no point in arguing with her. She’s the most stubborn person I know, but she means well.
The Complete Perfect Series Page 24