“Don’t hide in the back,” Alex said, reading her mind. “I’m not armed, and you’re not a child.”
She looked just like she did the day Alex told Selena it was over. Her navy suit accentuated her tiny figure. Her fine, straight, black hair fell to her waist. She had the same long nails—her own, not acrylic. No one who slept with women should have nails like that, but Alex had been a pillow princess, so it hadn’t mattered.
Selena gripped the counter.
“Don’t look so surprised. I left you a dozen messages.”
“How did you find me?”
Selena had started working at the store about six months after Alex dumped her. Satisfaction Guaranteed had felt like a safe place, a place Alex wouldn’t think to look.
“You’re listed on the website: sexual education consultant. I like it,” Alex said. “You were good at sex.”
The compliment made her feel dirty. Selena crossed her arms and wished she wasn’t wearing a bustier. She could face Alex in one of Cade’s turtleneck sweaters.
“You look beautiful as always.” Alex eyed the store with the same look Cade had given it on her first day.
“Why are you here?” Selena asked.
“I want to see you, and that’s not too much to ask, after what I put on the line for you.”
“You put on the line?”
Selena had lost everything. She’d dropped out of school. She’d destroyed her work. She’d stopped painting.
“I was your professor.” Alex walked to the counter. “I could have lost my job. I left my husband for you. And you won’t even have coffee with me.”
“I don’t have time,” Selena said. It was hard to hold on to that argument with the store empty.
“I’d hate to see slow.” Alex looked around. “We’ll just get a drink. Half an hour.”
“I don’t…want to.” Selena wished she sounded confident.
Cade came behind the counter and stood next to Selena. She was a comforting presence, all that cashmere and cool, New York confidence. Cade had probably never been in a bad relationship. When she told women to leave her alone, they left. Maybe some of that would rub off on Selena.
Alex flicked a rainbow feather boa hanging from a shelf near the counter.
“You don’t mind if I steal her away, do you?” she said to Cade. “It doesn’t look like there’s going to be a rush.”
“I can’t.” Selena resisted the urge to wrap her arms around herself. She stood up straight and clamped her hands to her sides.
“Don’t tell me you’re still intimidated by me,” Alex said.
Alex had always loved to point that out. Selena has been my advisee for three years, and she’s still intimidated by me. As though that was Selena’s fault, not hers.
“Or are you worried about what your fiancée will think?” Alex said in a mocking tone.
Shit! Her lie. I’m engaged to Cade Elgin of the Elgin Gallery. Cade was standing right next to her. Most definitely not her fiancée. Not any part of anything that involved a wedding dress. Selena had set herself up for this embarrassment…unless she could get Alex away from Cade.
“I will get a drink,” Selena said quickly.
Beneath the counter, out of Alex’s sight, Cade touched Selena’s wrist.
Cade turned away from Alex, leaned toward Selena, and whispered, “Are you sure?”
Selena felt Cade’s breath against her cheek and Cade’s fingertips still lightly resting on her wrist.
When Selena glanced at Cade, there was concern in Cade’s blue eyes. That was all. No long-suffering why do I have to deal with this look. That didn’t mean Selena wanted to explain how Cade had become Selena’s pretend future wife.
“Definitely,” Selena said. “I’d love a drink. How’s the McLaughlin Academy? You’re probably a full professor now. That’s a thing, right? Let’s go.”
She had to get Alex out of the store before Alex said anything else.
“Good,” Alex said.
“I’m ready.” Selena rummaged under the counter for her jacket.
“Are you going to tell me all about your engagement?” Alex asked. “You’re a little old for a pretend girlfriend.”
“I didn’t make it up.” Selena tried to put on her fake-fur jacket, but it was upside down. The damn thing looked the same from every angle. She shoved it under her arm instead. “I’ll tell you all about it.”
“And Cadence Elgin,” Alex drawled.
“What?” Cade asked
If only Alex was talking to Cade, not about Cade.
“Your lies are fantastic,” Alex said.
Selena never lied. It wasn’t a virtue. She just spoke thoughts exactly as they crossed her mind and then regretted them. Except this one time, by accident, because her friend had died, and Alex was the last person she’d expected on the phone, she’d told a lie that made up for all her regrettable honesty. Maybe getting her shit together involved learning how to tell the right lies.
“You could have just said you met some girl. Did you really think I’d believe you were engaged to Cadence Elgin of the Elgin Gallery?”
Fuck.
Humiliation washed over Selena. She clutched her coat, staring at the counter. She just had to make it through the next few seconds, get Alex out of the store, take Alex’s mocking, then maybe run back to Tristess and never set foot in Portland again. It was just the next few seconds—in which Cade would say, What the hell? I’m not engaged to you—that were going to be incredibly painful. Selena took a deep breath.
“Selena?” Cade said.
Selena made herself look at Cade. Sorry, she mouthed.
Cade raised an eyebrow.
Selena was pathetic. Immature, just like Alex said. Creepy too. Who lied about something like that? She squeezed her eyes closed. It would be so nice if a meteor struck her or a sinkhole opened under her feet or—
She felt Cade’s arm around her waist.
“She hasn’t told you about our wedding?” Cade said.
What?
Cade pulled Selena a little closer, her touch as tender as it had been the night on the patio.
“It’s going to be beautiful.” Cade held out her hand to Alex, keeping her other arm around Selena’s waist. “Cade Elgin. Nice to meet you.”
“You are not Cadence Elgin.” Alex looked back and forth between them. “Is she?”
Even if Cade wasn’t the daughter of the Elgin Gallery, she and Selena would make an odd couple. Cade in her trim gray sweater and spotless tan suede loafers. Selena in a Fierce Lovely hand-me-down, a bustier that would, if you knew which panel to pull, come off in one quick rip. That was the beauty of burlesque costumes.
“Last time I checked I was,” Cade said.
Alex squinted, as if trying to place Cade’s face.
“My parents are Roger and Pepper Elgin,” Cade went on, “as far as I know. I might have been switched at birth, but no DNA test. I know last month we showed Kathryn Von Holt, but we were missing her self-portrait because she’d already sold it.” Cade rattled off a New York address and phone number, presumably the gallery. “And you are?”
“Professor Alex Sarta. McLaughlin Academy of Art.” Alex shook Cade’s hand vigorously.
Selena sank against Cade’s side. Cade pulled Selena closer. Cade was doing this. For her. This fabulous save. Alex’s face fell and then rose in an obsequious smile.
“It’s an honor,” Alex said. “We’d love to host you at the school. Do you think your parents will be in Portland any time soon?”
“We’re busy,” Cade said.
“Selena…how did you meet her?” Alex asked.
Cade looked at Selena, eyebrows raised.
At my friend’s funeral a few days ago was not a good story.
“How did we meet?” Cade repeated. “It was very romantic.”
Selena had come up with the first lie, but now her mind went blank.
“Yes?” Alex prompted.
Cade gave Selena a bemused smile, cuddl
ing her with both arms.
“Skydiving,” Selena blurted.
Cade’s eyebrows rose. Her face said, We’re going to do it like this?
“Selena saved me when my parachute didn’t open,” Cade said.
“You skydive now?” Alex asked.
“All the time,” Cade answered for Selena.
“And you’re getting married.” Alex focused in on Cade. “If it’s in Portland I could help with arrangements. I know a lot of people who—”
“We’ve got everything settled,” Cade said casually.
“Maybe I could take you both out for a drink,” Alex said.
Who at the McLaughlin Academy wouldn’t throw themselves at a chance to do drinks with Cade Elgin?
“I don’t get jealous of Selena’s exes,” Cade said. “You are her ex, right? You don’t get jealous when you have what we have. But I don’t think there’s any reason why you need to see her when she told you she doesn’t want to.” Cade’s face tightened as she said the last words.
She released Selena the second the door closed behind Alex. Selena realized she’d been gazing at Cade adoringly, like a puppy. She tore her gaze away and rested her arms on the counter and her forehead on her hands.
“It’s not as weird as it seems.” Yes, it was. “I just…Alex called the night of Ruth’s funeral. I hadn’t talked to her in forever. She said she’d left her husband.” Selena raised her head. “I’d wanted that when we were together, but I don’t want it now. And I know it was so dumb, but she wouldn’t give up about seeing me, and I just told her I had a girlfriend. Fiancée. And you were at the funeral and…first words out of my mouth. Agh.”
She rubbed her face. Cade already thought she was a flake. She was a flake. She’d never convince Cade she knew what to do with Satisfaction Guaranteed. She clearly didn’t know what she was doing in her personal life. Go ahead. Tell me how fucked-up that was.
Cade put her hand on Selena’s back, a steady, comforting touch.
“It all happened so fast. There you were falling out of the airplane…” Cade said.
“I know it’s stupid.”
“Skydiving. That was taking it to the next level.” Cade’s eyes were a bright, sky blue, with a ring of darker blue around the edge. Mesmerizing. And full of laughter, but not laughter at Selena, just at the world. The things we get ourselves into, she seemed to be saying. “Go big or go home. You should have been an Elgin.”
Chapter 14
Cade wanted to hold Selena again. Selena looked shaken, twisting her hands in front of her, her face pale. And the ex was an asshole, sucking up to Cade, after she’d just picked on Selena. Like Cade wouldn’t notice. Like Cade was supposed to be impressed by the McLaughlin Academy.
“You okay?” Cade asked.
“Fine. Yes. Thank you.” Selena released her hands. “Totally. I’m heading out. You want a ride home?”
Selena’s face said she wanted to get away, as fast as possible, by herself.
“I’m going to work a little longer,” Cade said.
Cade wished Selena hadn’t looked relieved. Cade could still feel the shape of Selena’s body against hers, the way Selena sank against her, Selena’s head on her shoulder, her hand on Selena’s soft waist. Like they belonged together. They fit. Something inside Cade ached.
But it wasn’t for Selena. Surely. Cade shook her head. People needed to be touched. Cade had just had many long nights and no girlfriends. She was like one of those dogs no one played with at the pound. They got clingy or they bit people. Still it would have been nice to share a drink after their little performance. Congratulate themselves. Laugh. But that wasn’t fair. Selena’s bad ex wasn’t Cade’s entertainment.
Cade brought her thoughts back to the work she needed to do that night. Look at Ruth’s taxes (or lack of taxes). Finalize the web platform for online sales. Figure out how to sell Selena on the idea that they could not sell whips and aprons that said Grandma’s Kitchen, Grandma’s Rules on the same shelf.
Back at the house, Cade boiled chicken breast for dinner. Selena was out. Cade checked her phone while she watched the chicken breast float around in the pot. Amy had sent her an encouraging quote. She replied with an emoji heart.
Josiah had texted her, Any word on that oil? Artist?
No, she texted back.
I’ll find them first.
Hell no!
Watch me.
She sent him an emoji skull. Then she took her laptops, a box of Ruth’s files, and her chicken to the dining room table and sat down. Her phone rang before she could open the first laptop. It was her mother. Unfortunately. She would have preferred a scammer trying to get her bank account number. Cade put her mother on speaker.
“My jewel!” her mother said.
“Hi, Mom.”
“How is your wonderful adventure, darling?” her mother asked. “You work too hard. Your father and I want you to be free, unburdened.”
The box of bank statements stuck together with lube (please let it be lube and nothing else) did not say free and unburdened.
“You know who else is having an adventure?” Cade’s mother asked.
“Everyone you know?”
Cade’s mother laughed.
“You didn’t buy an alpaca?” Cade asked.
“No, sweetie. Boric Savana is going on an adventure.”
Boric Savana was showing next month.
“Does he need anything?” This didn’t sound good. “I’ll be back in time for the installation.”
“He’s moved to Costa Rica.”
“How does he want to handle the opening?”
“We were showing him around the gallery,” her mother said, “talking about the lighting, and he just sat down on the floor and told us he couldn’t take the pressure of showing his work. The push to sell. All this emphasis on provenance and not on the art.”
“We don’t worry about provenance,” Cade said.
Half the people they showed had never shown outside their local coffee shop. That was what made the Elgin Gallery the Elgin Gallery. Cade found brilliant unknowns, and then her parents took credit for them and made them stars.
“He’s not pulling the show, is he?” Cade leaned her head in her hand. She felt a headache coming on.
“Your father and I told him to be free. We said, Go on an adventure. Like you, sweetie. We know so many ex-pats in Costa Rica, so we hooked him up with a friend.”
“The opening!” Cade demanded.
“Oh, he sold his collection. He needed money for the house he wants to build.”
It was February. They didn’t have a March show. She was stuck running Portland’s tackiest sex toy store, and the gallery didn’t have a March show.
“When was someone going to tell me?”
“It has a green roof.”
“I don’t care if it has a green roof. We’ve got less than a month!” Cade said.
“Something will work out. It always does.”
“Because I work it out!” Cade said.
“You’re so good at that.”
“I’ve got to go.”
“I love you, my jewel,” her mother said.
Cade hung up without saying it back.
“Fuck me.” She opened one of her laptops. The Wi-Fi was terrible. The fact that the network was called TheGuntherFamily told her they were stealing it. Ruth’s portrait smiled down at her, her face full of joy and free-spiritedness.
“You did this to me.”
Cade opened the Elgin Gallery submission portal. The new March artist had to be in New York. There was no time to ship a collection. She’d like something strikingly different from the last two exhibits, but she’d take anything good. She clicked through the portfolios, trying to intuit their qualities from the small screen. Maybe she could do a multi-artist show. One piece from each portfolio. But that was a lot of artists to manage. A lot of people who might move to Costa Rica.
By midnight, she knew she should go to bed. She kept flipping back
and forth between the portfolios, but she didn’t know what she was looking at.
“Hey.” It was Selena in the doorway to the living room.
She was wearing a ripped T-shirt and stained skinny jeans and eating cereal out of a box. Cade could still feel the way Selena had leaned against her in the store. She couldn’t quite believe that she had touched this woman. Selena looked like something out of a movie or a famous actor’s wife.
“Hey there,” Cade said as casually as she could.
“I was with Becket, at the Aviary,” Selena said, although Cade hadn’t asked.
“How’s Becket?”
“Freaking out over Fierce Lovely’s next show. They’re always amazing, and Beck always get scared the show’s not going to say what she wants it to say. You know…that the sociopolitical commentary won’t come through because there’s too much emphasis on the stripping and the eating fire.”
“I can’t see how that would be distracting.”
Selena came over and pulled up a chair.
“And she talked me down about Alex.” Selena looked into the cereal box and picked out some choice kernels of corn and corn syrup. “Thanks for being my fiancée. Becket says you’re kind of a rock star. And look at you. Super boss. Wearing a suit at midnight.”
It was just slacks and a sweater.
Selena looked Cade up and down. “You’re all, hedge-fund and what glass ceiling, bitches! I’m rocking the world.”
“It’s not as glamorous as it looks.” Cade motioned to her half-eaten chicken breast and cold coffee.
“Oh! You have to eat something.” Selena held out her cereal.
“The dinner of champions?”
“I usually eat it with cream,” Selena said.
Selena’s curves confirmed that. Cade looked away quickly. Selena looked as gorgeous in a T-shirt as she did in a corset, maybe more so because she wasn’t wearing a bra. Not that Cade looked. Of course.
They both hesitated. Cade tried to think of something to say. Portlanders like to talk about the rain. But what did you say about the rain? Wow it’s raining…again? She should get back to work. The March show. Costa Rica. Her face must have registered her distress.
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