“How’s your work?” Selena asked.
“Our March artist pulled his show.” Cade propped her cheek in her hand. “My mother convinced him to leave the country and he sold his collection.”
“People kill to be in the Elgin Gallery.”
“Not Boric Savana. Now I have to find someone to fill in.”
“You pick them?”
“Usually.”
“I thought it was your parents.”
“Everyone does. I’m not on-brand. They’re the face of the gallery. Who wants this?” She tugged at the cuff of her sweater. “I’m boring.”
“You’re not,” Selena blurted so quickly it seemed like she really meant it.
No? If Selena didn’t think she was boring…
Work. That was what Cade had to focus on. She had to be boring. Boring was how she single-handedly kept everything from going to hell.
Cade touched the laptop’s touchpad to bring it back to life. “But I don’t know what I’m looking at anymore.” She zoomed in on one of the thumbnails. “Is this genius or does it look like a squished lizard? Or both? I’ve been looking at these too long. Which one should I pick?”
Cade expected Selena to glance at the paintings and declare them pretty or weird, but she stared at them for so long, Cade worried that Selena actually thought she expected her to make a decision.
“I know,” Cade said. “Nothing comes through on that screen.”
Selena took another handful of cereal without looking away from the laptop. Cade waited. The minutes stretched. The only sound was the sound of Selena reaching into the cereal box, crunching, and tapping her finger on the right-arrow key.
Selena finally spoke through a mouthful of cereal. “This one has a complex color story, but the structure of the images is too exaggerated. It’s like he’s trying on different ideas. You believe the first one, but not the second. It’s trying too hard. But this one…this is a landscape painter experimenting with nudes, and it works. I’d pick him if I had to pick someone for the show. Then this one, it’s romantic but not sentimental, but his portfolio doesn’t hold together.”
“Wait,” Cade said.
Selena swallowed. “Anyway, there’s a lot here. I can see why it’s hard to pick.”
“How did you see that?” Cade asked.
“What?”
“He is a landscape painter. These are his first nudes. You saw that. That’s genius.”
Selena shrugged, a short, sharp movement, like she was dodging a blow. “I went to art school for two hot seconds.”
“Well you were right about the landscapes. I’ll call him tomorrow.”
“You’re not going to take my advice!”
“Yeah, I will.”
The distress that had flited across Selena’s face vanished, replaced by a smile. She must have known it was dazzling because she hid it behind her hand.
“You’re crazy,” she said, but she was glowing.
“Say,” Cade said, glancing at Ruth’s portrait, “you don’t know who painted that, do you?”
“No clue,” Selena said quickly. “One of Ruth’s friends. They only painted that one.”
Chapter 15
Three days later, Selena and Cade sat side by side on padded folding chairs in the Beaverton Capital Center, waiting for the start of the class on small business inventory management. The gray-on-gray pattern on the chairs matched the carpet. Selena sat up straight, trying to look eager. She’d bought a gray sweater at Goodwill so she could match Cade’s professional style. She matched the carpet and chairs too, so that was a bonus.
Cade checked her email on a tablet.
“So you know all this stuff already,” Selena said.
Cade wrinkled her nose. “I don’t really,” she confessed. “This is inventory management for small retail. The Elgin Gallery sells four or five pieces a month, and at the end of the month we return the unsold pieces to the artist.”
“So it’s different from selling chocolate penis pops,” Selena said.
One of the men in front of them turned and shot Selena a hungry glance. Selena put her arm around the back of Cade’s chair. Not today, buddy.
“No one is going to take back stale penis pops.” Cade leaned toward Selena. “If we wanted returnable inventory, we could sell plastic houseplants,” Cade whispered, “that people don’t put in their anuses.”
Selena laughed louder than she meant to. That comment. Coming from Cade! She would never have suspected.
“No such thing,” Selena whispered back.
Cade rolled her eyes. “God, why?”
“Do you really want me to tell you?”
“No.” Cade bugged her eyes, in a look that said, You are too much. But Selena could tell she was amused.
A man approached the podium and cleared his throat in a screech of feedback. “Our speaker today…” he began.
The introduction went on for a long time, but finally the presenter took his place. He was a small man with round glasses and high-waisted slacks. He adjusted his glasses and clicked a button on the podium, and a screen lowered behind him. A PowerPoint slide read “The Ten Principles of Small Business Inventory Management.”
“The first principle is economic order quantity.” He spoke in a monotone as dull as the room around him.
Selena tried to pay attention. This was adulting. Getting her shit together. Impressing Cade with her seriousness. She had found a notepad—already a triumph—and she’d remembered to bring it with her. But the presenter’s voice short-circuited something in her brain. It was like a bad sensory deprivation experience. Instead of feeling at one with the universe, she was becoming one with a box of defunct fax machines.
“Now principle two,” the presenter continued.
How long had it been? Selena checked her phone. Only fifteen minutes. She tried to do the math. If one principle took fifteen minutes, ten would take two and a half hours.
Selena nudged Cade. “Are there really ten principles?”
Cade frowned, but her eyes were smiling.
“Take notes.” She held up her tablet to demonstrate.
“I am.” Selena showed Cade her notepad. “But ten is a lot.”
The speaker continued. Selena wrote down a few key words. Principles three and four were blessedly short, but principle five was broken down into six subsections.
“Five-a, five-b, five-c, five-d, five-e…” the presenter said slowly.
“And, surprise, five-f,” Selena whispered in Cade’s ear. She smelled Cade’s subtle cologne.
Cade looked down at her tablet.
Selena could see the corner of her smile behind the sweep of her perfect blond hair.
“It’s really interesting,” Selena whispered.
It wasn’t.
“Five-a is further divided into subsections a-one, a-two, a-three…” the presenter said. “The most important principle of five-a is don’t sit on your inventory. If you have back inventory that does not sell or you are not selling, don’t hold on to it. The cost of keeping back inventory is greater than most business owners understand.”
The presenter moved on to 5b. Selena straightened again, trying to look interested. What did interested look like? Selena nodded each time the presenter paused, but finally boredom broke her. She tapped Cade’s arm.
“What do you think he’s like in bed?” Selena whispered.
“I can’t unsee that,” Cade said, keeping her eyes focused on the screen.
“Don’t judge. Maybe he’s a beast.”
“This is very important stuff.”
Selena leaned over and wrote on Cade’s tablet. I’m staying for you. It was only after she put the period on the sentence that she realized she was in Cade’s space, her arm resting on Cade’s leg, the way she and Becket would get in each other’s space without even thinking about it. Selena jumped back. Cade cocked her head with a look that said, You started it.
Never mind. As you were.
But she had almost made
Cade laugh and she wanted to do it again.
Cade turned toward Selena, moving close enough that Selena could feel Cade’s breath on her ear. It sent a shiver through her.
“Okay, this is the most boring thing I’ve ever been to,” Cade said without parting her lips.
Are you learning a lot? Selena wrote on her own notebook.
Cade took the notebook and pen from her and wrote, Maybe if I could stay awake.
Now this was a business problem Selena was ready to solve.
“I’m going to go to the bathroom,” she whispered against Cade’s cheek. “You follow me in five minutes. Then we run.”
“Principle six has eight subsections,” the presenter said.
Selena slipped out the back door. Cade only waited a minute before following her out.
“Let’s go before they catch us and bring us back,” Cade said.
“Run!”
Selena only meant to run a few feet down the hall as a joke, but Cade charged along beside her, and suddenly they were sprinting. At the end of the windowless hall, they burst through the doors, into the five o’clock darkness, laughing.
“I’m sorry,” Selena said through her laughter. “I tried to pay attention.”
“It was really bad,” Cade said. “I’m not selling you on these lectures, am I?”
“Don’t sit on your inventory,” Selena said. “I got that part. What’s a FIFO?”
“Do you want me to tell you?” Cade stretched her arms behind her head. “I could divide it into subsections.”
“You wouldn’t.”
“Punishment for something you did in your past life.”
Selena stopped, suddenly noticing the rain on her face.
“If I’d known this stuff, the store wouldn’t be bankrupt. I’d…I’d have helped Ruth in a way that mattered.”
Cade’s face melted into the kindest expression Selena had ever seen.
“Selena.” Cade put a hand on her arm. “You were there with her when she was dying. There is no profit or business or subsection that means anything close to what that means.”
And then Cade hugged her. The rain pelted them both, but Selena didn’t feel it anymore. She just felt Cade’s warmth. After a quick moment that Selena wished would last longer, Cade released her. Still holding Selena’s shoulders, Cade looked into her eyes.
“I’m serious,” Cade said. “You don’t think that you let her down, do you? You didn’t.”
“Okay,” Selena said.
“I’m right,” Cade said. “You don’t like my fabulous business lectures and my Target vision, but I am right about this. She was so lucky to have you.”
Cade’s words warmed her as much as Cade’s embrace.
“Okay,” Selena said with more certainty.
“Good.” Cade dropped her hands. “Let me buy you dinner. An apology for the minutes you will never get back.” She nodded ruefully toward the building behind them. “Want to see if we can find anything healthy around here?”
This part of Beaverton was a wasteland of fast food and big box stores.
“Healthy? What am I going to do with you?” Selena said. “I know a place that serves fried poutine and a drink that’s all whiskey-soaked cherries.”
Chapter 16
They were quiet as they Ubered across town, but the silence felt warm to Cade, and the bar Selena picked felt like the perfect place for quiet conversation. Dim lamps hung from a low ceiling. A fire crackled in a fireplace. Cade recognized the bartender, one of Selena’s friends from the funeral.
“Cade, you remember Beautiful Adrien,” she said.
“Welcome.” Beautiful Adrien began taking bottles off the shelves, pouring little samples for Cade and Selena.
The first one tasted like peaches, campfires, and a hint of cotton candy.
“Sadfire Dreaming Cowboy Reserve. It’s supposed to taste like unrequited desire,” Beautiful Adrien said.
“I always wondered what unrequited desire tastes like.” Cade glanced at Selena as she said it. Because it was normal to look at people in a conversation. It didn’t mean—
“You wouldn’t be the first.” Beautiful Adrien chuckled.
“Adrien!” Selena hissed.
“You know I’ve been unrequited for you for years,” Beautiful Adrien said.
“You have not.”
“I’m the only one then.”
Selena scoffed. “Don’t listen to him.”
Cade finished her whiskey samples while Selena and Beautiful Adrien chatted about the Aviary co-op’s annual auction. Luckily, the dim lights hid her blush. Then Cade ordered unrequited desire over ice. Selena ordered a drink called Sweetened Condensed Fall of Adam, which was, as she had promised, a glass filled with liquor-soaked cherries. They took a seat at a small table tucked in a corner.
“Beautiful Adrien was the last person I slept with before I took my vow of celibacy,” Selena said, as though that was a normal way to start a conversation with your coworker.
Cade tried not to cough on her drink.
“I thought about it for a while. I wanted it to be someone I knew was a good lover. Beautiful Adrien is probably the best man I’ve been with. His edging technique is perfect. I wanted it to be someone I trusted, but someone who wasn’t going to fall in love with me. TMI?” Selena asked.
“No, no, of course not.”
Yes. What was edging? Cade did not have an edging technique. Had anyone edged her? Probably not. Maybe that was her problem.
Cade wondered how to continue that line of conversation, but she didn’t have to.
“I’ve been thinking,” Selena said. “The Full Spectrum bar has happy hour trivia every Thursday, but they lost their trivia master. I was thinking we could ask if we could have that spot. We could do sex trivia and have an anal bead raffle.”
Words Cade never thought she’d hear someone say, at least not to her. Oh, well, if she was reading the questions, she wouldn’t have to answer them. She nodded hesitantly.
“Is there a Trivial Pursuit deck?” Cade asked.
“We have to write our own questions,” Selena said enthusiastically. “It’ll be more fun.”
The answer would be edging. What would the question be? It’d be like sex-anxiety Jeopardy.
“You’d be so good at that.” Cade took a big sip of her whiskey. “Maybe you could do that, and I could work on getting Ruth’s files into QuickBooks.”
“Okay,” Selena said cheerfully. “And I’ll do Pour and Paint Your Vulva, and we’ll both go to the Sexpo. Do we need to go to some more lectures?” Selena bit a cherry in half, its dark juice coloring her full lips.
Not that Cade was watching how Selena’s lips curved around her words or how she looked like she was kissing the cherry before she bit into it. Nope. Not looking.
“I will go to another lecture.” Selena popped the other half of the cherry in her mouth. “Because I believe in you, but can we get high first? I get really talkative, and I ask a lot of questions.”
Cade pictured Selena high at a Chamber of Commerce lecture with all the insurance agents and small-time lawyers.
“I should say no.” Cade chuckled. “But that would actually be fabulous.”
“We’ll do it.” Selena leaned forward. “You sure you don’t want to get high too?”
“Yes.”
Selena rolled her eyes. “That’s probably a good choice, but growing up where I did, you had to get high. What else were you going to do?”
“What was Tristess like?”
“It’s two potholes and a Walmart, but it’s gorgeous. High desert. At night you can see all the stars, and there’re mountains in the distance. I love it, but I couldn’t stay there, so I moved to Portland, started out waitressing, then shaping Christmas trees. I worked at a bank for a couple days. That was a mistake. But I always thought…” Selena traced a crack in the wood table. “When I left Tristess, I thought I was going to be an artist. I was going to go to college and be a famous painter.”
&
nbsp; “And you did go?” Cade wasn’t sure if she should have asked.
Selena glanced at one of the bar’s few windows, a faraway look in her eyes.
“That’s where Alex came in.” Selena wrapped her arms around herself. “I met her and we had a fucked-up relationship and I dropped out.”
“I’m so sorry.” Cade reached her hand out to take Selena’s, then stopped. What was she thinking? But to her surprise Selena clasped her hand for a second.
“Thanks.” Selena seemed to shake off a cloud. “I was too old to be painting with those eighteen-year-old kids. It was a silly dream. I also thought I’d run a dispensary and move to the Caribbean.”
Cade wished she could go back in time and take Alex aside. Leave her alone. You don’t get to date your student and do…whatever it was Alex had done to Selena. There was a bigger story there, but the way Selena raised her voice and rushed the words, “Tell me about you in college,” told Cade not to ask.
“I was boring. Mostly. I rowed crew. That was the best part.”
Cade didn’t talk about it much. No one cared what sport she did in college, even if the hours on the river were the brightest she could remember.
“Were you good?” Selena asked.
“I was great.” Cade could see mist rising off the river in early spring. “But I quit.”
“Here’s to quitters.” Selena raised her glass with a rueful shrug.
Cade touched her whiskey glass to Selena’s cup of cherries.
“We did okay in the end, though,” Cade said.
Selena tipped a few cherries into her mouth.
“You did good,” she said. “Did you quit because you got hurt?”
“I was back and forth between Boston University and the gallery. I just couldn’t make enough races.”
“I’m sorry.” Selena pulled her hands into the cuffs of her surprisingly conservative sweater.
It occurred to Cade that Selena must have dressed up for the lecture…or dressed down, depending on what you thought about bustiers and fake fur. That was sweet, and boardroom gray looked good on her, although purple fur fit her better.
“It was okay. I was sad I didn’t get to row, but whatever,” Cade said.
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