Pamela

by Samuel Richardson

  ‘If, madam, I am blessed with your favour, and the continuance of your dear brother’s goodness to me, I shall be too happy.’

  I withdrew; and she let me hear her say to Mrs Worden, ‘’Tis a charming creature, Worden! I know not which excels, her person or her mind. So young a creature too! Well may my brother love her!’

  I am afraid, my dear father and mother, I shall now be proud indeed.

  I had a good mind to have asked her ladyship about Miss Sally Godfrey; but I thought it was better left alone, since she did not mention it herself. I wonder, though, whether she be living or dead.

  My lady was equally kind to me at breakfast; and asking my dear friend, he gave leave very readily that she should see all my papers, when you returned them to me. He was sure, he told her, when she came to read them, she would say, that I had well deserved the fortune I had met with; and would be of opinion, that all the kindness of his future life would hardly make me amends for my sufferings.

  My lady resolving to set out on Thursday morning to return to her lord, my master ordered every thing to be made ready for our journey to Bedfordshire; and this evening our good neighbours will sup with us, by way of taking leave of Lady Davers and us.

  WEDNESDAY Night

  Nothing having passed at supper, but the most condescending goodness, on my lady’s side, to me; and the highest civilities from our neighbours, and reciprocal good wishes all round; and a promise obtained from my Mr B. (There’s a proud word!) that he would endeavour to pass a fortnight or three weeks in these parts, before the winter set in, I shall conclude this day, with observing, that I disposed of the money my master was so good to put into my hands, in the method he was pleased to direct. I gave Mrs Jewkes hers, in such a manner, as highly pleased her; and she wished me, with tears, all kinds of happiness; and prayed me to forgive her all her past wickedness, as she herself called it. I begged leave of my master to present Mrs Worden with five guineas for a pair of gloves,341 which he said was well thought of.

  I should have mentioned, that Miss Darnford and I agreed upon a correspondence, which will be no small pleasure to me; for she is an admirable young lady, whom I prefer to every one I have seen; and I shall, I make no doubt, improve by her letters; for she is said to have a talent in writing, and is both learned and well-read.

  SATURDAY

  On Thursday morning Lady Davers, as she had intended, set out for her own seat; and my best friend and I, attended by Mr Col-brand, Abraham, and Thomas, for this dear house. Her ladyship parted with her brother and me with great tenderness, and made me promise to send her my papers; with which I find she intends to entertain Lady Betty, and another lady or two, her select friends, as also her lord; in hopes to find, in the reading of them, as I have the pleasure to think, some excuse for her brother’s choice.

  My dearest master was all love and tenderness on the road, as he is in every place, and on every occasion. What a delightful change was this journey to that which, so contrary to all my wishes, and so much to my apprehensions, carried me hence to the Lincolnshire housel Do you think I did not bless God at every turn, and at every stage? Indeed I did.

  We arrived not here till yesterday noon. Abraham rode before, to let them know we were coming. And I had the satisfaction to find every body there I wished to see.

  When the chariot entered the court-yard, I was so strongly impressed with the favour and mercies of the Almighty, on remembering how I was sent away the last time I saw this house; the leave I took; the dangers I afterwards encountered; a poor cast-off servant girl; and now returning a joyful wife, and the mistress of the noble house I was turned out of; that I was hardly able to support the joy I felt in my mind on the occasion.

  The dear man saw my emotion, and tenderly asked, why I seemed so affected? I told him, and lifted his hand to my lips, saying, ‘O sir! the sense I have of God’s mercies, and your goodness to me, on entering this dear, dear place, gives me joy beyond expression. I can hardly bear my own reflections!’ ‘Welcome, thrice welcome, pride of my life!’ said he, ‘to your own house’; kissing my hand.

  All the common servants stood at the windows, as unseen as they could, to observe us. He took my hand, with the most condescending goodness; and, with great complaisance, led me into the parlour, and saluted me. ‘Welcome once more, my dearest wife,’ said he, ‘a thousand times welcome, to the possession of a house that is not more mine than yours.’

  I threw myself on my knees, ‘Permit me, sir, thus to bless God, and to thank you, for all his mercies, and your goodness. May I so behave as not to be utterly unworthy; and then how happy shall I be!’ ‘God give me life and health,’ said he, ‘to reward my Pamela; and no man can be then so blessed as I!’

  ‘Where is Mrs Jervis?’ said he to Abraham, who passed by the door. She bolted in. ‘Here, good sir,’ said she; ‘here, good madam, am I, waiting impatiently, till called for, to congratulate you both.’ I ran to her, and clasped my arms about her neck, and kissed her. ‘O my dear Mrs Jervis!’ said I, ‘my other mother! receive your happy, happy Pamela: and join with me to bless God, and bless our master –’

  I was ready to sink in her arms, through excess of joy, to behold the dear good woman, who had been so often a mournful witness of my distress, as she was now of my triumph. ‘Dearest madam,’ said she, ‘you do me too much honour. Let my whole life shew the joy I take in your deserved good fortune, and in my duty to you, for the early instance I received of your goodness in your kind letter.’ ‘O Mrs Jervis,’ replied I, ‘there, next to the Almighty, all thanks are due, both from you and me: for our dear master granted me this blessing, as I may justly call it, the very first moment I begged it of him.’ ‘Your goodness, sir,’ said she, ‘I will for ever acknowledge; and I beg pardon for the wrong step I made, in applying to Lady Davers.’ ‘All is over now, Mrs Jervis,’ said he. ‘I will forget that you ever disobliged me. I always respected you, and shall now more and more value you, for the sake of that dear good creature, whom, with joy unfeigned, I call my wife.’ ‘God bless your honour, for ever!’ said she; ‘and many, many happy years may ye live together, the envy and wonder of all who know you!’

  ‘But where,’ said my master, ‘is honest Longman? And where is Jonathan?’ ‘Come, Mrs Jervis,’ said I, ‘you shall introduce them, and all the good folks, to me presently. Let me now go up with you to behold the apartments, which I have seen before with such different emotions to what I shall now do.’

  We went up; and in the chamber I took refuge in, when my master pursued me, in my lady’s chamber, in her dressing-room, in Mrs Jervis’s apartment (not forgetting her closet) in my own little bed-chamber, the green-room, and in each of the others, I blessed God for my past escapes, and present happiness. The good woman was quite affected with the zeal and pleasure with which I made my thankful acknowledgments to the Divine Goodness. ‘O my excellent lady!’ said she, ‘you are still the same good, pious, humble soul I knew you. Your marriage has added to your graces, as I hope it will to your blessings.’

  ‘Dear Mrs Jervis,’ said I, ‘you know not what I have gone through! You know not what God has done for me! You know not what a happy creature I am now! I have a thousand, thousand things to tell you. A whole week will be too little, every moment of it spent in relating to you what has befallen me, to make you acquainted with it all. We shall be sweetly happy together, I make no doubt. But I charge you, my dear Mrs Jervis, whatever you call me before strangers, that when we are by ourselves, you call me nothing but your Pamela. For what an ungrateful creature should I be, who have received so many mercies, if I assumed to myself insolent airs upon them! No, my dearest Mrs Jervis, it is my hope that I shall be more and more thankful, as I am more and more blessed; and more humble, as God, the author of all my happiness, shall more distinguish me.’

  We went down again to the parlour, to our master. ‘Call in again Mr Longman,’ said he: ‘the good man longs to see you, my dear.’

  He came in: ‘God bless you, my sweet lad
y!’ said he; ‘as now, Heaven be praised, I may call you! Did I not tell you, madam, that Providence would find you out?’ ‘O Mr Longman,’ said I, ‘God be praised for all his mercies! I am rejoiced to see you.’ And I laid my hand on his, and said, ‘Good Mr Longman, how do you? I must always value you; and you don’t know how much of my present happiness I owe to the sheets of paper, and pens and ink, you furnished me with. I hope my dear Mr B. and you are quite reconciled.’ ‘O madam,’ said he, ‘how good you are! I cannot contain myself for joy!’

  And then he dried his eyes – good man!

  ‘Yes, I have been telling Mr Longman,’ said my master, ‘that I am obliged to him for his ready return to me; and that I will entirely forget his appeal to Lady Davers; and I hope he will find himself easy and happy to the extent of his wishes. My dear partner here, Mr Longman, I dare promise you, will do all she can to make you so.’

  ‘Heaven bless you both together!’ said he. ‘’Tis the pride of my heart to see this! I returned with double delight, when I heard the blessed news; and I am sure, sir,’ said he, ‘(Mark old Longman’s words), God will bless you for this every year more and more. You don’t know how many hearts you have made happy by this generous deed.’

  ‘I am sure,’ said my dear master, ‘I have made my own happy: and, Mr Longman, though I must think you SOMEBODY,342 yet, as you are not a young man, I can allow you to wish my wife joy in the tenderest manner.’

  ‘Adad! sir,’ said he, ‘I am sure you rejoice me with your favour: ’twas what I longed for, but dared not presume.’

  ‘My dear,’ said my master, ‘receive the compliment of one of the honestest men in England, who always revered your virtues!’ The good man saluted me; and said (dropping down on one knee), ‘The great God of Heaven bless you both! I must quit your presence. Indeed I must.’ And away he went.

  ‘Your goodness, sir,’ said I, ‘knows no bounds: may my gratitude never find any!’ ‘I saw,’ said my master, ‘when the good man approached you, that he did it with so much awe and love mingled together, that I thought he longed to salute my angel; and I could not but indulge his honest heart.’

  When honest old Jonathan came in to attend at dinner, so sleek,343 and so neat, as he always is, with his silver hair, I said, ‘Well, Mr Jonathan, how do you? I am glad to see you: you look as well as ever, thank God!’ ‘O madam,’ replied he, ‘better than ever, to behold such a blessed sight! God bless you, and my good master! And I hope, sir, you will excuse all my past failings.’ ‘Ay, that I will, Jonathan,’ said his kind master; ‘because you never had any, but what were owing to your regard for my beloved wife. And now I can tell you, you can never err, because you cannot respect her too much.’ ‘O sir,’ said he, ‘your honour is exceeding good. I‘m sure I shall always pray for you both.’

  After dinner, Mr Longman coming in, and talking of some affairs under his care, he said afterwards, ‘All your honour’s servants are now happy; for Robert, who left you, has a pretty little fortune fallen to him, or he never would have quitted your service. He was here but yesterday, to enquire when you and my lady returned hither; and hoped he might have leave to pay his duty to you both.’ ‘I shall be glad to see honest Robin,’ said my master; ‘for he is another of your favourites, Pamela. It was high time, I think, I should marry you, were it but to engage the respects of all my family to myself.’

  ‘But I was going to say,’ said Mr Longman, ‘that all your honour’s old servants are now happy, but one.’ ‘You mean John Arnold?’ said my master. ‘I do indeed,’ replied he, ‘if you will excuse me, sir.’ ‘O,’ said I, ‘I have had my prayer for poor John answered, as favourably as I could wish.’ ‘Why,’ said Mr Longman, ‘to be sure poor John has acted no very good part, take it all together; but he so much honoured you, sir, and so much respected you, madam, that he would have been glad to be obedient to both; and so was faithful to neither. But indeed the poor fellow’s heart is almost broken, and he won’t look out for any other place; and says, he must live in your honour’s service, or he must the wretched very shortly.’

  Mrs Jervis was there when this was spoken: ‘Indeed,’ said she, ‘the poor man has been here every day since he heard the tidings that have rejoiced us all; and he says, he hopes yet to be forgiven.’ ‘Is he in the house now?’ asked my master. ‘He is, sir; and was here when your honour came in; and played at hide-and-seek to have one look at you both, when you alighted; and was ready to go out of his wits for joy, when he saw your honour hand my lady in.’ ‘Pamela,’ said my master, ‘you are to do with John as you please: you have full power.’ ‘Then, pray,’ said I, ‘let John come in.’

  The poor fellow came in, with so much concern, that I have never seen a countenance that expressed so lively a consciousness of his faults, mingled with so much joy and shame. ‘How do you, John?’ said I. ‘I hope you are very well!’ He could hardly speak, and looked with awe upon my master, and with pleasure upon me. ‘Well, John,’ said my master, ‘there is no room to say any thing to a man that has so much concern upon him already. I am told you will serve me, whether I will or not; but I turn you over altogether to my wife here: and she is to do by you as she pleases.’ ‘You see, John,’ said I, ‘your good master’s indulgence. Well may I forgive, that have so generous an example. I was always persuaded of your honest intentions. You were only at a loss what to do between your duty to your master, and your good-will to me: you will now, from his goodness, have no more puzzles on that account.’ ‘I shall be but too happy,’ said the poor man. ‘God bless your honour! God bless you, madam! I have now the joy of my soul, in serving you both; and I will, to my power, make the best of servants.’ ‘Well, then, John, your wages will go on, as if you had not left your master: may I not say so, sir?’ said I. ‘Yes, surely, my dear,’ replied he, ‘and augment them too, if you find his duty to you deserves it.’ ‘A thousand million of thanks,’ said the poor man: ‘I desire no augmentation.’

  He withdrew overjoyed; and Mrs Jervis and Mr Longman were highly pleased; for though they were incensed against him for his fault to me, when matters looked badly for me, yet they, and the rest of his fellow-servants, always loved John.

  My master then, filling a glass of wine, said, ‘Mr Longman, I will toast to you, the health of one of the happiest and honestest couple in England; my Pamela’s father and mother.’ Tears were in my eyes. I could not speak for joy.

  ‘I think,’ continued he, ‘that our little Kentish purchase, Mr Longman, as it is at distance from my other estates, the management of which fully employ all your kind cares, will be in happy hands if Mr Andrews will take upon him the trouble of managing it. We will well stock for him the farm we call Hodges’s, that is in the middle of the purchase; and his directing eye over the whole, will be an employment for him, and ease to you, and a benefit to me. What think you, Mr Longman?’

  ‘Your honour cannot do a better thing; and I have had some inkling given me, that you may, if you please, augment that estate, by a purchase, of equal amount, contiguous344 to it; and as you have so much money to spare, I can’t see your honour can do better.’ ‘Well,’ said my master, ‘let me have the particulars another time, and we will consider of it. But, my dear,’ added he, ‘you will mention this to your father.

  ‘I have too much money, Mr Longman,’ continued he, ‘lying useless; though, upon the present agreeable occasion, I shall lay out as much in liveries, and equipages,345 as if I had married a woman of a fortune, equal, if possible, to my Pamela’s merit I reckon you have a good deal in hand?’ ‘Yes, sir,’ said he, ‘more than I wish I had. But I have a mortgage in view, if you don’t buy that Kentish thing, that I believe will answer very well; and when matters are riper, will mention it to your honour.’

  ‘I took with me to Lincolnshire,’ said my master, ‘six hundred and fifty guineas, and thought to have laid most of them out there.’ [Thank God, thought I, you did not! for he offered me five hundred of them, you know.] ‘But I have not laid out above two hundred and fi
fty: I left there two hundred in my escritoire;346 intending to go thither again for a fortnight or three weeks, before winter; and two hundred I have brought back. I have besides money, I know not what, in three places here; the account of which is in my library.

  ‘You have made some little presents, Pamela, to my servants there, on our nuptials; and these two hundred that I have brought up, I will leave to your disposal, to do with some of them here, as you did there.’

  ‘I am ashamed, sir,’ said I, ‘to be so costly and so worthless!’ ‘Pray, my dear,’ replied he, ‘not a word more in that style.’

  ‘Why, madam,’ said Mr Longman, ‘with money in stocks, and one thing or other, his honour could buy half the gentlemen round him. He wants not money, and lays up every year. And it would have been pity, but he should have wedded just as he has done.’ ‘Very true, Mr Longman,’ said my master: and pulling out his purse, ‘Tell out, my dear,’ said he, ‘two hundred guineas.’ I did so. ‘Now,’ said he, ‘take them yourself, for the purposes I mentioned. But, Mr Longman, do you, before sun-set, bring my dear girl fifty guineas, which is due to her this day, by my promise; and every three months, pay her fifty more; which will be two hundred guineas per annum: and this for her to lay out at her own discretion, and without account, in such a way, as shall derive a blessing upon us all: for she was my mother’s almoner, and shall be mine, and her own too.’

  ‘I’ll go for it this instant,’ said Mr Longman.

  When he was gone, I looked on my dear Mr B., and on Mrs Jervis; and he gave me a nod of assent; and I took twenty guineas, and said, ‘Good Mrs Jervis, accept of this, which is no more than my generous master ordered me to present to Mrs Jewkes, for a pair of gloves, on my happy nuptials.’