Safe Havens Bundle

by Sandy James

  He lay back on the mattress and rolled her on top on him so her front pressed against his. He tucked her head under his chin. “Jesus have mercy!”

  “What’s wrong?”

  “You’re as cold as an icicle.” Opening his legs, he let hers settle between. Squeezing his thighs together, he tried to draw away her cold. He jerked the blankets over them and then wrapped his arms around her.

  Sara’s shivering eased and then disappeared. She nuzzled her face against his neck, her sweet, warm breaths brushing against his skin and heating his blood. Her breasts were flattened against his chest, and her nipples were hard pebbles, branding his skin. The only thing between them was her thin nightgown, and he wished he’d have removed that as well.

  He deliberately left her nightgown alone because he needed to give her the choice. While he wanted desperately to make love to her, a few hours after she’d just witnessed a birth might not be the right time. After he’d watched a cowboy bust his collarbone breaking a horse, he’d avoided that task for a good long while.

  Hopefully Sara wouldn’t refuse his bed because she feared childbirth. Caleb wanted a family, and now was as good a time to start one as any. There was affection between him and his wife. Not love. Not quite yet. But he trusted her as she now trusted him, and that was a better start than many marriages enjoyed.

  He nuzzled his nose against her hair, loving the soft, silky feel. Despite having been up all night tending Cassie Bishop, Sara still bore her clean and appealing scent. As her body warmed, so did his, and he was more than aware that her pelvis lay against his. His cock was stiff as granite, and his mind whirled with pictures of the erotic things he wanted to do with her.

  “I owe you an apology,” he murmured, gently stroking her backside.

  Sara eased back, staring up at him with knit brows. “An apology?”

  “Our wedding night was a disaster.”

  “You already apologized for that, Caleb.”

  “I wasn’t much of a lover,” he admitted.

  “I believe you have striven to prove that you are,” she murmured before her lips brushed against his neck. “You have given me great pleasure, the likes of which I had never known.”

  His cock twitched. “So you’ll let me make love to you?”

  “No,” she replied. “Not this time.”

  “What’s that mean?”

  Sara pushed herself up, her breasts drilling his chest as her gaze found his in the faint light of the fire. Her eyes sparkled as a slow, easy smile curved her mouth. “What that means is that this time, I shall make love to you.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  Caleb gaped up at his wife. She’d risen to straddle his hips, and her hot, wet core nestled against his hard cock. Such exquisite torture. It would be so simple to thrust inside her, but her words haunted him and kept him from moving.

  “I shall make love to you.”

  Sara nibbled on her bottom lip as she eased her nightgown up. With a deep breath, she jerked it over her head and let it fall to the floor.

  She was exquisite. Firm breasts crowned with nipples that had hardened in invitation. He settled his palms against those breasts, rubbing and weighing each. As Sara unplaited her hair, Caleb sat up and drew one of the pink nubs into his mouth.

  With a loud gasp, she arched into him, lacing her fingers through his hair as he suckled, licked, and teased her breast. A hum rose from her, much like a cat purring, which made him shift to her other breast to worship it as well.

  After long moments, she put her hands against his shoulders and pushed. “I am supposed to be making love to you. Lie back and let me. Please.”

  Although he was content to lavish her with attention, Caleb gave in to her command. His curiosity was running as fast as a spooked deer, and he wanted to see exactly how she’d launch her attack.

  She seemed to be considering the same thing, concentrating hard before her teeth tugged on her bottom lip again.

  Afraid she’d gone craven he offered her a chance to back out—even though it would be the biggest disappointment of his life if she stopped. “Change your mind, sweetheart?”

  She gave her head a shake, setting her hair bouncing around her shoulders. “Planning my first move.”

  Leaning forward, she cupped his face in her hands and kissed him, long and deep. Her tongue pushed past his lips and rubbed against his tongue, sending more heat pouring through his body.

  His beautiful wife was truly going to make love to him.

  Caleb smiled against her lips.

  Sara had come close to losing her courage. The cold seemed to never want to leave, but once her body warmed, so did her heart. Caleb had taken such infinite care to help her banish her chill, and the way his eyes glowed with passion when he saw her naked had helped her find what little valor she possessed.

  She hadn’t fibbed when she told her husband she wanted him. Desire was so new to her, and it was Caleb who’d awakened her body, almost as though she’d been a virgin in her feelings if not in truth.

  Her entire body responded to his touch the way it had to no other. A few of the men she’d been with had tried to coax her into passion, but none had achieved that goal. The other girls had taught her to act out such a response, telling her men often paid more if they believed themselves to be good lovers. Thinking their whore had found fulfillment evidently made them feel virile and manly.

  She shoved aside any more thoughts of her past and concentrated on her future.

  Caleb responded to her kisses with enthusiasm and a touch of desperation. Sara eased back, letting her hands run down his chest and tickling her fingers in the patch of dark hair covering his chest. She traced the line of hair as it narrowed, circling his navel with her finger, and stopped short of touching his erection.

  For once, she admired the beauty in a man’s body. Caleb’s cock was hard, arrogant, ready. Knowing that she’d pulled that reaction from his body through affection rather than lust made her smile as she wrapped her fingers around his shaft.

  “Sara… You ain’t got to—”

  She shook her head. “Hush, husband. Let me show you how I…” She swallowed hard. “How I feel about you.”

  A couple of seconds ticked by as she contemplated what she’d had to stop herself from saying.

  Let me show you how I love you…

  Love?

  Did she love her husband?

  Giving her head another shake, she banished any thought other than sharing herself with Caleb. Sara eased to his side, kneeling next to him as she stroked his erection. His breathing sped, his hips rising to each caress. Happy he was enjoying her attention, she took a leap of faith, choosing to gift her husband with something she’d never done for any other man, no matter how much money many of them had offered for the act.

  She took the head of his cock in her mouth, letting herself drown in his salty taste and musky scent.

  He almost came off the bed. “Sara…You ain’t got to…” His fingers threaded through her hair when she swallowed most of his considerable length. “Don’t stop!”

  Being in control, gifting her attentions rather than having them demanded, made all the difference in the world. She meant something to this man, this wonderful man who offered her his affection, his fidelity, and—God willing—someday his love.

  Her core throbbed in need, and with her feelings so entwined with her passion, Sara was close to losing control. She released him and again straddled his hips. One long, deep kiss before she gripped his cock, guided it to her sheath, and closed her eyes as she waited for him to thrust inside her.

  After a moment passed and he didn’t move, she opened her eyes.

  He stared up at her, a perplexed expression on his face.

  “What’s wrong, Caleb?”

  “I want you,” he said in a husky murmur.

  “As I want you.”

  “Then take me inside you, Sara. Show me you want me.”

  His request sent her heart soaring. He was giving her
exactly what she needed—control over her own body.

  She pressed down, impaling herself on him, letting him fill her. Completely.

  Caleb’s hands held her hips as he guided Sara in a rhythm that soon had the tension building to a crescendo. Music—a symphony she’d once attended—captured her mind, the volume and speed of the opus increasing as her body tightened with each note, each thrust of his body into hers.

  Never had she imagined she would enjoy mating. He’d healed her, offered her a sparkling new life as though the old Sara Fuller never existed. In the moment where she found her fulfillment, where she believed their hearts beat as one, she gave her heart and soul to her savior—Caleb Young.

  Caleb groaned his wife’s name as he climaxed, pouring his seed deep inside Sara. He shuddered, clenching her hips and thrusting into her even after the storm had passed. Never had he experienced the type of satisfaction that thrummed through him at that moment. He wanted to stay inside her forever, to stay joined with her body and remain one flesh.

  He’d always known having a wife would be a blessing in his lonely life, but he hadn’t expected anything nearly as wonderful as what he shared with Sara. She was more than a mere wife.

  She was his mate—his other half.

  What they’d just shared, the way he’d felt as he’d touched her womb, told him that God had truly blessed him by sending him not only a good wife but the right one.

  Breaking their connection, Sara rolled away. Caleb tossed the quilt over them, wrapped an arm around her shoulder, and hauled her up against his side.

  She pillowed her head on his shoulder and laid her hand on his chest. “Your heart is pounding.”

  He let out a chuckle. “You near to killed me, sweetheart.”

  “Was that a compliment or an insult?” The amusement in her tone told him she knew the answer.

  Caleb set his hand over hers and interlaced their fingers. “There’s only one thing that could make this day better.”

  Sara lifted her head to look into his eyes. “Speak for yourself, husband. That was...marvelous.” Her eyes brimmed with tears that made his throat tighten. “I never knew what joy could be found between a man and a woman.”

  “A husband and wife,” he corrected.

  He wanted her to forget the bastard who’d used her. If Caleb could pluck those memories from her mind, he would. All he could offer, though, was a fresh start and a chance for a real family.

  She smiled before laying her head back against his shoulder. “I can think of nothing that could have made that better. Of what were you speaking when you said one thing would improve this day?”

  Squeezing her against him, he answered her. “If we made a baby, then it would be perfect.”

  Despite talking with Caleb, Sara had been hovering close to sleep, her mind and body exhausted after being up all night to attend Cassie’s delivery. The treacherous trips to and from her brother’s home, the ordeal of the birth, and Caleb’s lovemaking had left her drained. The instant Caleb said the word “baby,” she was wide awake. She owed him the truth but could think of no way to explain why she was barren.

  He interrupted her thoughts. “You know what?”

  “No. What?”

  “I’ve been thinkin’ mighty strong ’bout starting a family.”

  “We’ve only been married a couple of months,” she couldn’t help but remind him.

  “I know we ain’t been together as husband and wife since our wedding night, but once is all it takes sometimes.”

  “What are you saying, Caleb?”

  “I’m sayin’ you ain’t used the rag bag you made. Not once since we married.”

  Her face flushed hot. “You shouldn’t speak of such things.”

  “Why? I’m your husband. Your bleeding time is a part of our lives. At least it would be, but you ain’t had a bleeding time since we married.”

  “My monthly should be a private thing,” Sara insisted, absolutely mortified to be discussing it with him. “It’s none of your concern.”

  “Didn’t mean to embarrass you none,” he said, his voice sincere. “But I’m right, ain’t I? You ain’t used the rag bag because you ain’t bled.”

  She stopped breathing as she mentally counted, clicking off the days, weeks, and then months since she’d arrived in Montana.

  Caleb was correct. Her monthly hadn’t visited since she’d left Denver. In fact, she’d had only one customer after her last monthly ended.

  Drake—the cowboy she’d robbed.

  And then Caleb had taken her on their wedding night.

  Dear God, what have I done?

  No. No, she couldn’t have children. Crazy Kate had told her so. The doctor had agreed. Her monthly was simply late. Sara had never had regular cycles, her bleeding often arriving at unexpected time. Perhaps the stress of the last few months had just delayed its arrival.

  “You okay?” Caleb’s tone was husky with sleep.

  She focused on a different issue. “Did you stay up all night?”

  “Pert near,” he replied. “Needed to check the animals during the storm, then I left mighty early to fetch you.”

  “I’m so sorry.”

  “What for?”

  “For leaving the chores to you and for making you trek through the storm all the way to Ty’s home.” At least he wasn’t becoming ill from being out in the cold so long.

  “Stop it. You were busy helping with the birth.” He gave her another squeeze. “Now you’ll know what to expect when we have a young’un of our own. I’m sure Cassie and Grace will be with you just like you were with Cassie.”

  Sara couldn’t find the right words to explain why a family was impossible, and her heart warned her it was a mistake to even try. So she only nodded against his shoulder.

  “How ’bout we both get some shut-eye? Then we can do afternoon chores together.”

  She only nodded again.

  It wasn’t long before soft snores began to slip from Caleb, but Sara could find no rest. Her mind was awhirl with conflicting emotions.

  A baby? Had she truly conceived on her wedding night?

  She refused to believe God could possibly hate her enough to finally bless her with a caring husband, a home of her own, and—miracle of miracles—a child only to snatch it all away by having Drake sire that child.

  If she was having a baby, that infant would be Caleb’s and no other’s. She convinced herself there was no reason to fret. Drake couldn’t have fathered her child. They’d only been together once, and it was directly after her monthly. Surely a woman wasn’t fertile so close to her bleeding time.

  Ah, but she’d only mated with Caleb once as well, and that had been a mere week after she’d escaped The Palace.

  Stop it! You shall drive yourself mad!

  Trying to calm her thoughts, Sara closed her eyes and drew in a few deep breaths. Suddenly a new idea popped into her head with startling clarity.

  No one from Denver knows I am here.

  Even if God proved vengeful and Drake’s seed had taken root in her womb, no one would ever have to know. There would never be a person to question her baby’s paternity. The child would be hers, and that was all that mattered. The secret—should there be one to reveal—would be forever protected because she would take it to her grave.

  A baby?

  At that moment, only God knew for sure. Time would tell.

  Relief washed over Sara, and she allowed her fatigue to drag her closer to sleep. Her last thought comforted her as much as Caleb’s embrace.

  The Palace is a part of my past, not my future...

  Chapter Fourteen

  The drive to town a week later convinced Sara she’d been wrong in thinking she couldn’t have a child.

  Each bump in the road sent nausea roiling through her, something she tried hard to hide from Caleb. They’d discussed whether she was pregnant on their special night together, but neither had introduced the topic again. Perhaps they were both afraid to hope, although Sara of
ten wondered if their hopes were for the same thing.

  She was pregnant. Now there was no doubt. But despite the assurances she’d given herself that the child was surely Caleb’s, she harbored frightening concerns that Drake had planted his seed before Caleb had consummated their wedding vows.

  When she’d awakened the morning after they’d made love—the day she’d realized she loved her husband—she’d promptly emptied her stomach into the chamber pot. Caleb hadn’t been there, so she hadn’t needed to come up with an explanation. She’d lied to herself that something she’d eaten had simply caused the upset. That lie didn’t hold when the same thing happened the next morning. And the next...

  The time had come to face the consequences of her past, no matter how deeply she wanted to bury it. Another bump ended her chance at hiding her secret. She scrambled for the side as her breakfast came back up in a rush.

  “Oh, Lord...Sara.” Caleb’s words were accompanied by the wagon grinding to a halt. “Oh, sweetheart. What can I do to help?”

  Sara wiped the back of her mouth with her hand. Thankfully, the weather was unseasonably warm, so she hadn’t made a mess all over the scarf that usually covered her face whenever she was outside. “I’m fine now. Must be something I ate,” she fibbed.

  This wasn’t the time or place to explain. When she shared the news, she wanted it to be special. They’d never courted, and their marriage had been rushed. She wanted to make this special, something they could share with their child years from now. Perhaps she should tell him on Christmas Day. She couldn’t imagine a better gift.

  The wagon lurched into motion with Caleb’s letting out a heavy sigh.

  He knew. He had to know. But she kept her silence.

  The town came into view. Although the scenery on their ride from the farm had been nothing but fields and trees blanketed in white, the city was awash in brown. Mud as far as the eye could see. Since the cold had temporarily eased, people moved about, ducking in different buildings, sharing some conversation on the walkways, trying to balance on the timbers placed in the street to allow crossing over the muddy mess. The townsfolk were bundled in heavy coats, but they seemed at ease with the cold. Perhaps one day, she’d adjust to it as well.