Last Chance for the Charming Ladies: A Clean & Sweet Regency Historical Romance Collection

by Fanny Finch

  “You had a right to feel that way,” Miss Worthing replied. “I am not saying that you should be quite as bitter as you are about it. But I appreciate how you long for more compassion from others. You expect better from people because you see the potential for much more in them than they are choosing to give out.”

  Edward was once again taken aback. Flattered, even. He did not realize that she held him in such high esteem. He knew that she did esteem him, of course. But he had not thought she had such a high opinion of him as all this.

  How could she read his heart better than he did? How could she look past the bitterness and frustration to see the real reason behind his disillusionment with the people around him?

  He shook off the odd feeling of being…settled. Of warmth and happiness that bloomed in his chest. Was this what Georgiana had spoken of? That feeling of coming home?

  But he couldn’t focus on that right now. This was not about him. This was about apologizing to Miss Worthing.

  “I cannot even begin to express to you how much I appreciate your words,” he started. “Your apology and the esteem in which you hold me are both more than I deserve.

  “I appreciate that you feel the need to apologize for your actions. If I am being honest, I feel that there was a need for a correction in your actions and I am glad to hear that you’ve acknowledged it.”

  Edward winced. That sounded condescending.

  “That is not what I mean. I only wish to say…thank you for your apology.”

  Miss Worthing gave him a tentative smile. “I did need correcting. You do not have to worry about speaking the truth to me.”

  “No, but there is a mighty difference between a truth kindly told and a truth told without thought or consideration for the other person’s feelings,” Edward said.

  “I was unnecessarily cruel to you in my assessment of your behavior. I should have had a thought to how you were feeling and the position that you felt you were in.

  “I find that I am…I am realizing that I am too harsh in my behavior. My father was as well. I had vowed that I would never become like him. But my father would be harsh in his callous treatment of others. In how he lied to everyone and was charming on the surface but would stab anyone in the back if it got him further in a deal.

  “We had plenty of money. We had one of the highest titles in the land. But nothing was good enough for him. He was always climbing the ladder. Always trying to be the most powerful person in the room.

  “When your father wrote to us and we learned that our father had once gotten close enough to anyone to call them a friend…it astounded us. We couldn’t quite believe it.

  “Not that we thought that your father was lying, of course. Father had mentioned him once or twice. And he knew far too many details about our father for him to be lying. But it surprised us, you see.

  “My father ruled us with an iron fist. And I promised myself that I wouldn’t be like that. That my manner would be entirely different from his.

  “But in striving to be unlike him I fear that I fixated on the wrong thing. That I was seeing only how he would lie to everyone and be a social climber. And so I grew to resent anyone else who did that, who behaved the way that he did. The people who would simper and lie and do whatever it took to get in the good graces of the people in power. The way they would make snide remarks and hurt others just to feel some kind of superiority and sense of control.

  “And in hating that…as much as it was right for me to dislike it, it made me just as bitter and angry as my father was. For different reasons, of course. And for reasons that I like to think are better. But still.”

  “You are only trying to hold people up to a higher sense of right,” Miss Worthing protested. “How on earth is it wrong of you to hold high standards?”

  “When you allow it to make you unpleasant and refuse to give people the benefit of the doubt,” Edward replied. “The way that you always do.”

  “I could hardly—”

  “You had such passion in your voice when we spoke in the park,” Edward told her. “When you protested at how humanity was truly good, and I just had to give it a chance. That if I reached out with kindness that was what I would get in return.”

  Miss Worthing’s blush, which had faded, returned with full force. “I apologize. I was only speaking my thoughts.”

  “As you should have. And you were right.” Edward sighed. “You can well imagine my surprise when you then seemed to have changed your tune at the next ball. When you seemed to have become that which you had said you disliked. And that which you knew I loathed.”

  “It was foolish of me, I know,” Miss Worthing replied. “I hardly know what I was thinking.”

  “That you wanted to be accepted and treated as one of them,” Edward said. “You wanted to be given the respect that you deserved, and you thought that this was the only way that you could obtain it. It is hardly unreasonable that you tried it out.”

  “It might have been reasonable, but it was not right,” Miss Worthing said firmly.

  Her stubbornness was endearing, but he did not know how to say that out loud. Not without sounding like a fool.

  He waved her protests away. “Then we shall agree on that and let it fall by the wayside. That does not excuse how harshly I treated you. I was out of line. No matter how you had behaved, it would not be an excuse for my behavior.

  “I can only promise you that I will endeavor to do better in the future. I know that it is not much. I know that you deserve better from me. But it is all that I can think of. Other than a gift of some kind, and I suspected that you would not appreciate the idea.”

  “No, I should not have appreciated it. I would have felt as though you were trying to…buy my affection. Even though I know that was not the case, it would have felt that way.”

  Edward nodded. He had suspected as much. “I hope that you will accept my apology as it is.”

  “Of course I shall. As if I could do anything else.”

  He did not understand how her forgiveness could be given so easily and completely. She looked at him happily, eyes wide, as though she could not even believe that he was no longer angry with her. As though the chance to accept his apology was the greatest opportunity that had ever been placed in front of her.

  Edward knew that he had not truly earned her forgiveness. But he was going to take it, and happily, nonetheless.

  “In that case, then, let us call ourselves friends again,” he said.

  “Is that what we are?” Miss Worthing sounded tentative once more. “Friends?”

  “I should like to think so,” he replied.

  Perhaps they could be more than that. If he played his cards right. If he could only find a way to express himself.

  Right now he still felt adrift. Lost. A bit confused. He couldn’t even begin to open up his heart to her. Not when he was still parceling out his own feelings.

  But looking at Miss Worthing…seeing how she was smiling again. How she was happy again. That was a good step forward. That was a start.

  “Friends, then,” Miss Worthing said, her smile widening into something more like what her smiles usually looked like: shining and confident.

  He could not help but smile at her in return.

  Chapter 19

  Maria drew in a shaky breath as she looked at herself in the mirror.

  Georgiana seemed to be taking extra care with Maria’s appearance today. Although Maria could not fathom why.

  “Is this ball particularly important?” Maria asked. They were only a month into the season, so she was not sure that it could be. But one never knew. Certainly she did not.

  Georgiana hummed, surveying the work that the maid had done on Maria’s hair. “Not necessarily. The earl and his wife always put on a splendid affair, of course. The lady is an expert at being a hostess. But I would not call this a particularly important ball, no.”

  “All right.” Maria was at a loss, then. But Georgiana was fussing over her as if this
was her first ball all over again.

  Perhaps there would be some eligible men there that Maria had not yet met? Georgiana would be anxious that Maria make a good first impression. That was probably what it was.

  Or it could simply be that Georgiana was trying to boost Maria’s spirits. She must know that Maria still felt a bit down in her manner and was trying to cheer her up by helping her to feel beautiful.

  After apologizing to Lord Reginald and receiving his apology in return, Maria felt a bit better. Her apology had been well received. Indeed, it had been received with a grace and eagerness that she had not expected.

  In fact, Lord Reginald had behaved as though he had not expected her to apologize at all. He had seemed most surprised at her words. But it was not as though he thought that she would not apologize out of a lack of manners. Rather, it was as though in his mind she had nothing to apologize for.

  That puzzled Maria. He had at last agreed with her that her behavior was not that of a proper young lady and that she ought to feel badly for it and do better. But he had seemed far more concerned with his own reaction and how it had hurt her.

  It was far more generous than Maria thought that she deserved. And while she doubted that he harbored any romantic feelings for her, it warmed her heart to know that they could at least continue their friendship.

  In fact, he had insisted upon calling her a friend. That was far more than she could have expected. Last night, even this morning, she had been certain that she had lost his esteem forever.

  She could not deny that confirming that he only cared for her as a friend did sting a bit. She had not consciously been hoping for more from him, of course. She knew now that all hope of that was gone.

  But apparently a part of her, one that she had not even acknowledged, still held out hope that he might feel something for her other than friendship. A fondness of a different sort.

  But it was no matter. She would not let herself dwell on it. She had earned back his friendship and that was more than enough for her. It ought to be more than enough.

  Perhaps now that she knew her hopes were entirely dashed, she ought to truly focus on finding another man to be her husband.

  She had not really been trying this past month. Not when her heart was caught up with Lord Reginald. But now was the time for that. She would run out of balls in the season before she knew it.

  There were plenty of gentlemen who had been perfectly nice to her over the past month. She should turn her attentions towards them in earnest and see what came of it.

  After all, if she’d had any chance with Lord Reginald, it had been ruined by her last night. Friendship was almost more than she deserved to ask for.

  How ironic, she thought, that in trying to prove to him that she deserved to be his wife, she had proven just the opposite. She had chased him away. Now she would never have him.

  It made her feel a little silly. Like she was one of those tragic heroines in opera, doomed to marry a man she did not love while pining for another who would not even give her the time of day.

  Maria did not see herself as a tragic figure. She did not embrace such a fate. But it did sting of that, just a little.

  You will get over it in time, she told herself. Her feelings for Lord Reginald would fade. She would make them fade.

  And she would grow to love her husband. She could manage that. If he was a good man, an honorable man, then of course she could grow to care for him.

  A part of her mind whispered that she would never care for him as she did Lord Reginald. She ignored that whisper. She had to believe that she would come to esteem her husband the way that she esteemed Lord Reginald or else she would collapse into a puddle of despair.

  Many women did not love their husbands when they were first married, she told herself. Surely respecting one’s husband and receiving moderate pleasure from his company was enough.

  Her father was dying and yet he was managing to uphold his end of things. He was settling accounts and doing what he had to in order to make sure that her future and the future of his holdings was secure.

  How could she do anything less? He was counting on her. Trusting her to be an adult and to navigate the treacherous waters of finding a husband without him.

  She could not then betray that trust because she was childish and could not set aside her feelings. A woman must be pragmatic when it came to these things.

  If she did not have a proposal in place by the end of the season she would be destitute. Her father would have sent off all of his holdings to that distant cousin, whatever his name was. There would be nothing for Maria.

  She could live with Father in his hotel until he passed on. He would have made sure that, at least, was provided for. But she would not be able to afford all the new gowns and the theatre tickets and all the rest that being a part of the London Season required.

  This was her only chance.

  She could not blow it over something like a broken heart. As immense and as powerful as that broken heart felt to her in that moment.

  It was nothing so glamorous as going off to war, forsaking home and love and comforts to die for one’s country. It wasn’t nearly anything so dramatic as all that. But it was something similar, she told herself, in that it was setting aside what one wanted in order to do what one knew to be the right thing.

  Well, if all of those soldiers could manage it on such a heavy scale, surely she could manage it in this.

  She would earnestly get to know the men at the ball tonight. Reacquaint herself with the ones that she had already met a few times before.

  Then she would make herself a short list that night after the ball. After all, if she was marrying for pragmatic reasons then why not be pragmatic in her choosing?

  She would make a short list and then slowly eliminate the names off the list as she got to know the men on it better. Then… she gave herself a month. Yes. Then she would have only one or two and could grow closer to them and they to her and she would have a higher chance of one of them proposing to her by the end of the season.

  Maria caught Georgiana’s eyes in the mirror. “You seem lost in thought,” Georgiana said. “Did the reconciliation with my brother not go as well as you had hoped?”

  “Oh no, it went quite well,” Maria said. “Or, I think that it did. He was very grateful for my apology and accepted it readily. He even seemed surprised that I had apologized.”

  “I believe he felt that his transgression was the greater one,” Georgiana replied.

  “I did not feel as though he had done anything wrong, at least not at first,” Maria acknowledged. “But I understand now what he was truly apologizing for, which is that he allows himself to become too harsh in his judgement. He seemed earnest in his desire to do better and I hope that he will. For his own sake.”

  “Yes, he will be happier once he does,” Georgiana replied.

  “All finished, Miss,” the maid said, stepping back out of the way.

  Maria turned to look at Georgiana head-on. “What do you think?”

  “I think that you look like a vision,” Georgiana assured her. “You will be the belle of the ball.”

  “I would not go so far as to say all of that,” Maria said, blushing.

  Georgiana smiled at her and helped her up to standing. “I hope that you will enjoy yourself tonight, my dear. You deserve it, truly.”

  Maria tried to remember her father’s words. She had to find a balance between fitting in and staying true to herself. That was what life was about: balance.

  She would find a way.

  Lord Reginald said nothing when they descended the stairs to meet him in order to get into the carriage. It only cemented for Maria how she had missed out on her chance.

  Normally, Lord Reginald would compliment Maria on her looks when they met up in order to leave for the ball.

  This time, however, he said nothing. He did seem to be rather at a loss for words in general, however. Georgiana murmured something to him that Maria could no
t catch, and he quickly led them to the carriage.

  He must be lost in his thoughts, Maria decided. Perhaps it was a business matter?

  But no, she must not spend all of her time thinking about Lord Reginald. She was moving on. She had tried, and she had failed. No sense in crying over spilled milk, as her father had said.

  They arrived at their destination and Maria descended, trying to remember how to breathe.

  She hoped that she had not burned any bridges with her behavior the night before. She did not think that she would have, given how Miss Hennings seemed to still be invited to all manner of balls. But one never knew.