Trusting Again

by Lo'Ren A Mayler

  Chapter Nine

  Mia walked into her office Monday morning. She thought about her time with Nikki all weekend. Something had gone wrong. When did the disconnect happen? How could they end up in two different places? Was she misreading the signals? Nikki had been charming and sweet. She had said all the right things. They danced and laughed all night. There is no way she imagined the way her body reacted being in Nikki’s arms or the feel of Nikki’s nipples hardening through her shirt. She thought they were having a great time. Much to her surprise, she didn’t desire the evening to come to an end. Mia did not intend to have fun and absolutely was not expecting to be so taken with Nikki. Why didn’t she kiss me? Was it just a game to her? String people along just for fun. Maybe the flattery came naturally for her. How many people had she laid the charm on for? How dare she make me like her! Then just…just…walk away and never call. Clearly she isn’t worth the time of day. I’m just going to forget all about Nikki Reed and focus on work. Mia flicked on her computer planning to go over her schedule. She was making a list of folders to pull. Her pen stilled when she saw the vast majority of the appointments were softball players today. A vision of Nikki sitting in her office appeared in her mind. Damn her anyway! There was a knock on the door. Maybe it is Nikki coming to apologize. Maybe she had phone problems or her car broke down. Or maybe she is just a big jerk. “Come in,” Mia said willing her voice not to crack.

  Principal Wood walked in and closed the door.

  “Good morning Mia.”

  “Good Morning Prin…Richard,” surprised to see the principal in her office this early or at all. Richard never hesitated to tell Mia what was on his mind and today was no different.

  “I came to let you know, you will no longer be required to see the athletes for their progress reports. I appreciate your assistance in the matter, but Alex Mason will be taking over as athletic counselor.”

  Baffled by the news Mia asked, “Sir I have already done the initial evaluation. Wou…”

  “Coach Reed believes he would be a better fit for this project.”

  What?

  “I see. Did she say w…”

  As if knowing exactly what she would ask, Richard continued.

  “All she said is that you don’t see eye to eye on this matter. It would be easier if Alex took over. If you two are not on the same page, I have to agree with Reed, this was not a good fit. I’m sorry Mia.”

  Principal Wood left the office without another word.

  Mia stared at the list in front of her for a minute. Stunned to silence. When the words sank in, Mia reanimated. What on earth? Are you kidding me? Forced me to work with her. Talks me into going to dinner. Then dumps me all together. What is wrong with her? After insisting it be me, she needs my invaluable opinion, her words mean nothing. They are just tools to get what she wants. Guess it isn’t me she wants anymore. Good riddance. Mia’s day stretched out before her. All of her appointments would either be taken by Mason or rescheduled.

  Nikki was sure she was making the right decision. Mia would be happy to be rid of the added responsibility. After the other night Nikki thought about it extensively; how to help Mia with her past. Then it came to her. Mia kept reiterating to her that this was getting in the way of her helping students. Mia was worried she would not be available to students that needed assistance and being athletic counselor was getting in the way. As much as Nikki respected Mia’s input, she was willing to muddle through. Anything to see Mia happy. Nikki wanted Mia to know that she was listening. Everything didn’t go in one ear and out the other.

  She could hardly wait to go to lunch and see Mia. Friday was an eternity ago and it was hard enough not to call all weekend. She had picked up the phone a dozen times and talked herself out of driving over to Mia’s apartment twice. Mia reminded her of a deer, easily spooked. She repeated to herself on multiple occasions to go slow. Nikki didn’t want to go slow. She wanted to run straight to Mia’s office first thing this morning. Throw the door open. Take Mia into her arms and kiss her right there in the guidance office. Somewhere in the back of her mind was the voice of reason. There were classes going on and Mia would have her own appointments today. Plus, it would probably start a riot.

  Nikki walked into the cafeteria. She could not contain the joy she felt or the grin on her face when she saw Mia sitting alone. She hastened to get her lunch and made a beeline for the chair beside Mia.

  “Hey you!”

  Mia didn’t respond. She just sat staring at her tray.

  “Mia? Are you okay?”

  Without looking up she replied, “This is not the place for this discussion.”

  Mia’s chair moved abruptly and Nikki watched her walk out of the cafeteria never turn back. Where did I go wrong? What did they need to talk about? How to act in school? That couldn’t be it, Mia wouldn’t even look at her. As much as Nikki wanted to chase after Mia and find out what was bothering her, she was right. Anything Nikki wanted to do was not allowed in a school setting. If Mia was agitated, they had done enough fighting at work. It would have to wait.

  That woman! Sitting there smiling. Being endearing and adorable. Like nothing happened. Does she think I don’t know; that I wouldn’t find out that she was the one that had me removed? Was she proud of it? Mia didn’t know where she was headed. After seeing Nikki, her anger bubbled to the surface and she just couldn’t stay still. She walked the length of the school and back. She just needed to be moving. Why do I always let her get to me? Mia wasn’t sure if she was mad that Nikki had went behind her back again or the fact that she let someone close enough to hurt her. She didn’t want to care about Nikki or anyone else.

  First thing after school Nikki went to the guidance office. Seeing Mia’s office door closed usually meant she was with a student. Nikki walked past her door pretending that wasn’t why she was there. She went to Mason’s door instead, but it was already locked up. Unlike Mia, Alex Mason never stayed a minute past the bell. Neither did the secretary. The vast majority of the staff was only there for a paycheck. If they stayed after; they had better be getting paid overtime. That was one of the million reasons Nikki admired Mia so much. She would stay until four or five o’clock to look through her notes every day. Make appointments for students anytime they needed her. Nikki stopped at Mia’s door and raised her hand to knock. But, Nikki knew there would be no time before leaving for the first away game. She glanced at the door once more and finally decided to leave the office. Nikki pondered as she headed to the locker rooms, what now? She knew the game would be over late. So stopping by afterward or calling would be out of the question. There was never spare time in her schedule during softball. The season was in full swing and unless it was the weekend, she would be busy.

  Nikki received a simple text that night, while she was on the bus, from Mia.

  All it said was, “We need to talk”.

  Well that was specific. As much as Nikki wanted to call and find out what was going on, she knew this wasn’t the time or place. So she texted back instead.

  “Can’t call now. On bus with kids. When and Where? I’ll be there.”

  Mia’s hands were shaking, she was so; upset, furious, unsettled, hurt. She had so much going through her mind she wasn’t sure what to feel. Mia chose the only place she knew no one would be listening. She held the phone with both hands to steady them.

  “Apartment after the game.”

  Mia drained her glass before hitting send, needing the courage alcohol would give her. Then she went to refill her drink and wait for Nikki to show. Whenever that was.

  Nikki was smiling from ear to ear. She couldn’t help it. She would get Mia all to herself tonight. No matter what happened with the game or what nonsense Sam would spew, she would get to end her day with Mia.

  “What are you smiling about?” Sam asked as she scooted closer. “Are you thinking of little old me?”

  Awe crap! Why did I have to smile?

  “Just excited about our first game. Can’t wait t
o see how the girls do. I think we have a really good team this year.”

  “Oh come on, that was not a smile about softball. That was about a girl.”

  Mother of God. Why does she have to notice everything? Everything except me always telling her no. I guess I need to have a talk with her. Just not right now. Not in front of the team. Enough was enough. If she was to have a chance with Mia, she is going to have to tell Sam there would be no future for their relationship except professionally, as coaches.

  “No really. I was thinking about the look on that coach’s face last year when they beat us in states. We are going to have a great year and rub her nose in it.”

  “Nikki, I didn’t know you could be so vindictive. I like it!”

  Of course you do. You know what, it doesn’t matter. I get to see Mia tonight. Just like that, the smile returned. She tried to stop it, to turn the smile to a frown. It was no use, it felt like her mouth was permanently glued in that goofy grin.

  The Lady Trojans came out on top with a 5-4 victory. It was a hard fought game, but Madison came through with eight strike outs. Jessica caught a line drive and Jen turned two to finish out the seventh. How could the day get any better? Oh yeah, Mia. Stop smiling you dope! But she couldn’t help it. Nikki stared at her reflection in the bus window. At the smile on her face and thought of the woman that put it there.

  When the team got back from the game, Nikki changed quickly. She was down the hall and in her car before Sam got out of the shower. Sam would not move the equipment into the closet and Nikki knew she should have stayed to clean up, but it would still be there tomorrow. She grabbed food and headed to Mia’s. Her foot was full of lead and her nerves were dancing. There were always a sheriff’s officer on this road at night, so she had to watch her speedometer the entire way. Nikki hoped it wasn’t too late as she pulled into the parking lot. She did not bother calling and would have went straight there, but she was famished. Finally at Mia’s door, it was now nine o’clock. Please be awake.

  Mia opened the door as the knock echoed in her apartment, but didn’t say anything she meant to. She had thought about what she wanted to say all night. Six hours and a bottle of wine later, a breathy “Hi” was all that came out. Some of Mia’s anger drifted away at the sight of Nikki. No! You’re furious with her! Nikki closed the distance between them and took Mia into her arms. Only hesitating an instant before her hands cupped Mia’s face. When Nikki kissed her, it caused Mia’s heart to melt. She was unprepared for the pleasure she felt or the jolt of electricity that passed between them. Nikki’s lips were so soft and welcoming. Mia molded to Nikki’s solid body. She could feel the hand that slid to the base of her neck. The kiss only lasted a minute and left Mia wanting more. She stared into Nikki’s eyes, searching for the answers to her questions. Like it would be written across her face. Why couldn’t she have done that Friday?

  “I’ve been wanting to do that all day,” Nikki brushed Mia’s hair off her face, “and I brought food. I don’t know if you are hungry, but I haven’t eaten since my snack at three.”

  Still unable to form words, Mia motioned Nikki in. Watching in a daze as she entered. Wake up. So she is a great kisser, looks amazing and thought about if I ate. Don’t be fooled by her charm. Mia closed the door and took a deep breath to fortify herself for what she had to say. Nikki dropped the food on the coffee table and was back before she turned around.

  Mia started to say, “I think…,” but as she turned, she was met with Nikki’s lips.

  The tingling started in her lips and spread throughout her extremities. Mia couldn’t feel her feet and leaned against the door for support. Hands were on her hips pulling Mia closer, Nikki’s frame pressing her into the door. You can’t do this! Mia moaned as she felt her body respond to Nikki. She knew she couldn’t let this happen. Oh, but it feels so good. Can’t it just happen a little? I don’t want her to stop. Their mouths moved together, soft, soothing and overwhelming. You have to stop! Mia’s subconscious screamed. She wasn’t sure how she found the strength to push Nikki away. Mia leaned her head on Nikki’s for support. She couldn’t catch her breath.

  “Does that mean you’re happy to see me?” Nikki asked, her confident smile never faltered.

  Mia finally found her voice. It seemed to have been hiding somewhere in the pit of her stomach, “Sit. Seriously, I did mean we need to talk.”

  Nikki reluctantly released Mia, but not before giving her one more brief kiss. Nikki retrieved her food and went to the table. Mia’s hand involuntarily went to her lips. Wow. Mia stood at the door trying to calm herself before following Nikki.

  “I’m scared to ask. Can we eat first? I’m starving.”

  Mia inwardly sighed. Worried she would lose her nerve, possibly already had. She sat at the opposite side of the table. While the mere sight of Nikki was making her fall to pieces, Mia didn’t trust herself to sit beside Nikki and not want to touch her. Flashes of how the night could progress zipped through Mia’s head. Images of Nikki in her bed felt real and the heat between them palpable. Get it together!

  Nikki must have been hungry, the burger was gone in just a few bites. Stop looking at her licking her lips! Pay attention. This is not some school girl crush. I will not fall apart every time she bats an eyelash. Can’t she eat a little cleaner? Mia tried to contain herself as she watched Nikki lick each finger. Dear god, why isn’t she done yet?

  You can do this. Just breathe. Mia went to the counter and got Nikki a napkin.

  “Thank you. They are delicious, but messy.”

  “I am going to let you explain yourself before I jump to a conclusion here. Please spell it out for me. Because after that,” Mia gestured towards the door, “I’m lost.”

  “I don’t understand. What is there to be confused about?”

  “Seriously, you have no idea?”

  Nikki’s blank faced stare said it all. How could she really not know?

  “You strong arm me into working with you. Even going as far as getting my boss involved. Repeatedly insisted I go to dinner with you. I finally go and thought we had a good time, but you didn’t kiss me or call. When I got to work today Richard informed me that you dumped professionally as well. Then you show up here like nothing has happened and kiss me. What the hell? Is this a game?”

  As much as Mia promised herself she would not lose her temper, she could feel her control wavering. Between the heat of their kiss and the anger she harbored. All her feelings were getting mixed together.

  “I thought you would be happy to not work with me anymore. You never wanted to be involved with the athletes to begin with. The other night was amazing, but we had been drinking and I didn’t want to take advantage.”

  “So drinking one night means not calling? I didn’t hear from you at all until lunch three days later and you show up all chipper and smiling.”

  Guess she didn’t miss me. No! Don’t feel bad for yourself. You don’t care, can’t care. Of course she was smiling she had gotten her way again.

  “Mia, I…I was happy to see you, still am. I didn’t know if you would want me to call. You seemed upset when you left Friday night. I was trying to give you some space to calm down.”

  Of course I was upset. You lead me on, then throw me away. I was mortified, crushed and more than a little frustrated. Mia stood up. She just couldn’t sit still anymore.

  “If we had a good time, why wouldn’t I want you to call? What kind of logic is that? You have been showing up randomly at my apartment since we met. We actually don’t fight and now you don’t want to come over? I can’t begin to understand you. How is one kiss taking advantage of me? You were drinking too. Who said I wasn’t taking advantage of you?”

  “Mia. I just… I…”

  “What?” Mia practically yelled. She was fueling her own fire and nothing Nikki said was dousing it. Mia was pacing the room and Nikki didn’t seemed to be keeping up.

  “I wanted to give you space. I didn’t want to push.”

  “Since i
t is space you want, maybe you should leave.”

  Mia crossed the room to the door.

  “Mia that is not what I meant.”

  “What did you mean?”

  Mia stood with her arms crossed awaiting any explanation that did not make her want to slam the door in Nikki’s face. Not likely.

  “I only meant that I didn’t want to scare you off. You have a bit of a temper and…”

  Of all the nerve. My temper? What about her deceit? Her lack of respect? How can she treat people so terribly and have no clue?

  “Well, you don’t have to worry about my temper anymore. Professionally or personally!”

  She swung open the door and waited for Nikki to leave. Mia knew she had probably snapped a little prematurely, but Nikki made her crazy.

  She didn’t move at first. Nikki couldn’t believe her ears. It was a nightmare. When Nikki didn’t wake up she started towards the door. Stopping in front of Mia.

  “Please don’t do this Mia. Don’t push me away.”

  Nikki saw the furry in Mia’s eyes and knew she had already lost. Mia slammed the door as soon as Nikki walked through it.

  Why do you always have to put your foot in your mouth? You just had to tell Mia she had a temper? Why couldn’t you just say, “I thought you would be happier at work focusing on the other students, as you had tried to tell me from the beginning? I’m sorry I didn’t listen sooner. I didn’t kiss you, because I care too much to hurt you. Once I was home, I lost my nerve and I was scared to call.” What’s so hard about that? What’s wrong with me? Instead I say nothing and hurt her all over again. Why do I always hurt her?

  Nikki believed the best thing she could do was give Mia some space. It would be impossible, but if she kept pushing Mia would be gone forever… possibly already was. Nikki beat herself up the entire ride home and all that night. She couldn’t figure out how things had gotten so twisted up. Everything she said infuriated Mia. Why are you such an idiot? How could you just show up and kiss her? She kissed you back, she reminded herself. I wasn’t the only one left breathless. It was the single most incredible kiss she had ever experienced. Only her first kiss was even close to as intense, but only because of the newness of her feelings. Her heightened hormones due to puberty.