Trusting Again

by Lo'Ren A Mayler

  “Okay, Madison. You need to lie back. Let Matt help you. The ambulance is pulling up.”

  “Coach promise you’ll stay.”

  The determination on Madison’s face was heartwarming. Reed considered her options, but realized it was a no brainer.

  “I’ll stay,” she conceded, “but as soon as the game is over I will be up to check on you. You let me worry about the game. You concentrate on feeling better.”

  Madison nodded her head and finally laid back to let the EMTs fret over her.

  Once Madison was loaded into the back of the ambulance, Sam sat down next to her. All the while, updating Madison’s mother. The doors closed and the siren wailed as the ambulance pulled into traffic. Nikki watched with concern as Madison was driven away. Snap out of it. Nikki turned to see the girls’ worry stricken faces.

  “Alright ladies, Madison is in good hands. We still have a game to win for her. Connie you’re in, put on a helmet and get on third.”

  “Is she okay?”

  Startled by the voice, Nikki spun around to see Mia standing by the fence. An apprehensive look on her face. How long had she been there? Nikki gave her an “in a minute” gesture. Reed turned back to the batter and gave her hand signals as she talked to Connie. Nikki was already rattled from Madison’s injury, now she was self-conscious at the thought of Mia watching her.

  Mia understood that they were in the middle of an inning and Reed had to focus. There was a swing at the plate and a miss. The catcher missed the ball completely and Connie was able to steal home. Unfortunately, Natalie struck out the very next pitch. The girls got their gloves and took the field. Nikki shouted her encouragement and walked to the bench. Mia couldn’t see her while she was in the dugout and didn’t know if Nikki was even going to talk to her. After the last time they spoke, Mia wasn’t sure she would want to. Nikki emerged a couple seconds later with her clipboard in hand and walked towards the gate. Her long strides drawing Mia’s gaze. The long tan toned skin distracting her again. Mia’s eyes slid up the coach’s body and landed on her face. She felt the tightness in her stomach and pushed it out of her mind. She was just worried about Madison.

  “Is she going to be okay? What happened?” Mia asked when Nikki was close enough for her not to yell.

  “I think she will probably need crutches. She jammed it pretty good. I didn’t know you were here,” Nikki said.

  Mia tried to hide her blush, Nikki didn’t know she was watching from afar. Besides, it was only for a minute.

  “I was in the parking lot when I heard the scream.”

  “Oh, well, thank you for coming over.”

  “I just hope she is alright.” Mia paused a moment and looked around, “I will let you get back to the game.”

  Mia thought she saw sadness in Nikki’s eyes before she turned to leave. Every step Mia took hurt her in a way she didn’t think possible. Her stomach was all tied up in a knot and her pulse beat loudly in her ears. Go home! Don’t let her hurt you again. She couldn’t stay here and end up fighting with Nikki in front of everyone.

  “Actually, if you don’t have anywhere to be,” Mia stopped walking when she heard Nikki speak. She should have just kept walking, but the pain in Nikki’s voice touched her.

  “I could use some help. Kind of lost my assistant. With Madison…” Nikki’s voice dropped and she looked out towards the direction the ambulance went. Mia understood without Nikki saying the words. She needed someone there, for her.

  She should have kept walking, kept her distance. Turning to look into Nikki’s eyes was a mistake. Nikki had a worried expression on her face, but her eyes begged Mia to stay. She didn’t know if the fear was due to trepidation about Mia’s presence or fear for her star player.

  “I don’t know anything about softball.”

  “It’s okay, you just stand next to first base when we are batting and give encouragement to the girls.” Nikki looked around before whispering, “To be honest, I don’t know if Sam really understands it either.”

  Mia cracked a smile. It was nice to hear that Sam had any faults. She considered leaving, she really did, but the thought of seeing Nikki without Sam was extremely tempting. Get to see Nikki and at the same time bother Sam just a little.

  She should say no. I should go home. I’m sure she is perfectly capable of coaching on her own. There is nothing to be gained by staying except heartache. But then the temptation was too great and Mia knew from the beginning she wasn’t going home.

  “Okay, I’ll stay. I hear this is supposed to be a big game. So if you lose, don’t go blaming me.”

  Nikki put her arm up and positioned her hand, as if to say “Scouts Honor”. Mia was brought into the dugout. She had already met all the players so introductions were not necessary, besides most of the team was in the field.

  Mia encouraged the team through three more innings. Giving the girls hi-fives as they got onto first. She learned the game, a little, from Nikki while their team was in the field. They sidestepped any personal conversations, only chatting about the team. Mia tried to deny there was an electricity in the air anytime Nikki was near. The hair on her arm was raised and she got goosebumps when she thought Nikki might touch her.

  It was the top of the seventh, two outs. Connie had worked hard trying to fill Madison’s shoes. The whole team had rallied around her. Trojans were up by one.

  “Ball. Full count.”

  Mia crossed her fingers. Connie pitched and the ball was hit deep into right field, the crowd watched in anticipation. The ball went wide.

  “Foul,” the umpire announced.

  Mia released the breath she didn’t know she was holding.

  “Come on Connie, you got this,” Nikki yelled.

  Connie took a deep breath and set her feet. Mia watched in anticipation as Connie started her pitching rotation and threw a fastball. The ball zoomed right past the batter with a late swing. The only sound you could hear was the snap of the ball into the catcher’s glove.

  “Strike three. You’re out,” the umpire yelled.

  Mia was such a ball of nerves and so focused on the game that, when the Trojans won, she jumped right into Nikki’s arms. Mia realized what she had done when Nikki’s arms circled around her. Her hands resting on the small of Mia’s back. The smell of Nikki cologne was thought-provoking. Mia had to mentally restrain herself. She held Reed for another second, enjoying the way it felt to be surrounded by Nikki. As if coming to her senses, Mia jumped back and released her hold on the coach. Panic taking hold where the warmth had been. Mia cleared her throat as she looked around. The players were still on the field shouting, hugging and clapping the hands of the Pioneers. No one had witnessed their embrace. Mia stole a glance at Nikki. Taking in the amusement in Reed’s eyes and the sly smile on her face. There was something else that Mia couldn’t quite identify. A brief heat flashed in Nikki’s eyes. A need that Mia tried to explain away. Her mind rationalized it as a byproduct of their close proximity. Mia clenched her hands at her sides, trying to control the sudden tremble. She felt a surge, a searing heat. The need was far beyond anything she had experienced before. Surely it was fear. She had never been one for PDA. Too worried about how someone would react in a small town. Yeah. That must be it. Fear. Yet in the back of her mind, Mia wished she was still in the strong arms, with her hands on Nikki’s neck. As if she could hear Mia’s thoughts, Nikki’s smile widened.

  “You have to shake hands too,” Nikki stated as she nudged Mia towards the field.

  She felt a small shock rush through her at the contact. Even though Nikki had not actually touched her skin, she felt warmth spread over the place she was bumped. Mia shook her head and tried to just focus on what was in front of her. On the team. Mia walked towards the field and the crowd. She was honored to shake the players’ and coaches’ hands. Proud of the team. Most of all, she was grateful for Nikki sharing this joy with her.

  “Ladies, great job. Madison will be happy to hear of our win today. There are two game bal
ls today.” Reed tossed one, “Connie, you really came through for the team. You stepped up when we needed you most and helped to make this win possible. The other is going to Madison. I’m very proud of all of you. Before everyone leaves today, stop by my office. Have a great weekend ladies. No practice tomorrow. I’ll see you all on Monday.”

  Mia watched Nikki inspire her players, encourage them, and leading them to a victory. She felt a detachment from the group, she was no longer a part of the team. Realizing that she was no longer needed, Mia turned to leave.

  “Mia wait,” Nikki said reaching for her shoulder. Against her better judgement Mia stopped at the contact. “Why don’t you stay? I’m gonna go see Madison when I leave here. I’m sure she would like to see a friendly face right now.”

  Of course, Mia had to go, for Madison. It had nothing to do with wanting to stay with Nikki longer or the butterflies currently occupying her stomach. When Mia turned, Nikki finally released her shoulder. She was held in place by the intensity in Nikki’s gaze.

  “I would like to see how she is doing.”

  Nikki walked with Mia back into the school. They strolled closely without touching. Nikki wanted to reach out and touch Mia again, just once. The hairs on the back of her neck were standing up. The butterflies in her stomach became so strong, she started to think they were bats. Before Nikki could summon the courage or find some way to “innocently” touch Mia, they arrived at her office.

  The reason Nikki had asked the girls to stop in, was to sign the game ball for Madison. That’s so sweet. Who knew Nikki had a soft side? Mia watched Nikki as she interacted with the players. While she was in a position of authority, the girls didn’t just respect her. It was more than that, admiration maybe. They trusted her. It was clear from their conversations and the smiles on their faces. Nikki cared about them. Their wellbeing mattered to her and they knew it. The more time they spent together, the more her opinion of Nikki changed. When they had first met, Mia was mortified that someone could behave so poorly. She had no respect for Nikki and thought her a hot headed spoiled brat. The abrasive woman from her office was gone. Nikki was like a different person all together. The woman she was getting to know was sweet, caring, funny and sexy as hell.

  “You okay?”

  Mia belatedly realized that the office was now empty and Nikki was talking to her.

  “Yeah just thinking.”

  “About anything in particular?” Nikki asked carefully.

  She was now leaning forward in her chair with her elbows resting on her knees.

  “Honestly, I was thinking about you.”

  Why bother beating around the bush?

  “Crap, that can’t be good. What did I do now?”

  Mia laughed, “No, it’s nothing like that. I guess, I’m just a little surprised.”

  “About?”

  Mia studied the uncertainty that showed on Nikki’s face.

  “You seem different today. Less irritating.”

  “Well, gee, thank you.”

  Nikki feigned outrage, but Mia could see the twinkle in her eyes. She loved watching the change in Nikki’s emotions. Her face was so expressive.

  “No, that isn’t what I meant. I just can’t put my finger on it. Not yet.”

  “Alright. Let me know when you do. Come on.”

  Nikki slapped her leg with her hand and got ready to leave.

  Nikki convinced Mia to drive Sam’s neon green beetle to the hospital. At least then she would not have to picture Sam alone in the car with Nikki. I’m not jealous. It doesn’t matter to me if they are alone or not. Besides, didn’t Sam already say they are together? But, something in the way Nikki was looking at her told her otherwise. Could Mia trust what she saw? How she felt?

  Chapter Twelve

  The drive was short and Mia parked in the spot she thought would be most visible. Nikki parked in the back, where there was more room for her truck. They entered the hospital together, checked in at the desk for an update and were instructed to stay in the waiting room. Madison was still in the emergency room. Her parents were already there with her. As soon as she turned from the desk, Mia spotted Sam sitting near the furthest window. When Sam looked up and saw Mia there, her face dropped. Clearly she was only expecting Nikki.

  “Sam, how is she doing?” Nikki asked.

  Still looking at Mia she replied, “We are still waiting on x-rays. The doctor is hoping for a clean break. How was the game?”

  “We won in the seventh. Came down to the wire. Connie did well. A little nervous at first, but she settled in.” Nikki suddenly realized how much Sam was staring at Mia, “Mia helped me bring your car.”

  Plastering a wide smile on her face Sam said, “You didn’t have to do that. Nikki could have given me a ride later.”

  Mia could feel Sam’s eyes scorching holes into her skin.

  Nikki jumped to Mia’s aid, “I didn’t think you would want to stay late. You have already been here a while and I didn’t know if you wanted to get dinner. Don’t you have plans tonight?”

  Mia wasn’t sure if she should be offended. Nikki was insinuating that she knew Mia would not have plans or wasn’t good enough to have plans, but Sam would. Mia almost laughed aloud. Of course Sam would have plans. Look at her. Mia found herself wondering, why would Nikki imply Sam would have plans with someone else? Do they have an open relationship? Is it a family engagement? They are dating, of course Nikki knows her schedule. Stop trying to analyze it.

  “Oh Nikki, That’s so thoughtful. I’m always willing to stay to keep you company.”

  Sam playfully slapped Nikki’s shoulder.

  “Don’t worry about it. It’s been a long week. Go out, have some fun.”

  Go out and have fun? Mia was sure the confusion must show on her face. She felt like there was something she was missing.

  “Would you like a ride back to your car Mia?”

  Mia looked at Nikki, not sure what to say. So instead of trying to figure out what was expected of her, she went with the truth.

  “Well if it’s okay with you, I would like to stay to see Madison.”

  That is why she had come to begin with. Nikki was smiling.

  “It’s settled then. I’ll give Mia a ride. Sam I will call you later when we know something. Or maybe I should text first.”

  Sam’s stare alternated between Mia and Nikki. A look of worry crossed her face for just an instant. Nikki had never seen her anything but confidant. Sam snapped out of it and her normal air of sexuality was back in full force.

  “Call. I’ll be up waiting. Let me know if you need anything.” Sam drew out the word “anything”. She give Mia a quick hug and peck on her cheek. Then hugged Nikki with the full force of her body, being sure to nuzzle her neck slightly. Her red nails trailed along Nikki’s back. Mia wasn’t sure Nikki even noticed. There was nothing in her face to suggest it was unusual. Mia was positive Sam could have any part of Nikki she wanted, at any time. Why would she have me drive Sam’s car here? They could have left it at the school and went home together. Nikki was the one to pull away and they both watched Sam leave the emergency room.

  They sat quietly in the waiting room for another hour before Madison’s father came out to update them. Nikki stood up as he approached.

  “Madison has a non-displaced medial malleolar ankle fracture. Hope I said that right, it’s a mouth full. The doctor said it was a minor break. She won’t need surgery, but she will need a short cast. We are waiting for them to put it on. Do you want to come see her?”

  Nikki shook her head and they both followed Mr. Taylor.

  Madison sat, propped up on a bed. A blanket pulled up to her chest, covering all but the injured leg. Her dark long curly hair still in a braid. Madison’s cleats had been removed. The dirt covered sock taken off the injured leg. There was a lone flip flop sitting on the bed. Madison’s brown eyes looked darker than before. Her face strained from the pain. Mr. Taylor had said she was on pain killers, but perhaps not enough. They entered t
he room and Madison’s face lit up.

  “Coach! What happened? Did we win?”

  Nikki gave her a play by play of the game so she didn’t feel like she missed out. Madison looked like she would jump for joy when she heard they won.

  “Ms. Sanchez was nice enough to help out while Coach Porter was here with you,” as Nikki said it Mia held out the game ball to Madison.

  “For me? But I didn’t even finish the game.”

  “You pitched a great game and that steal put Connie in position to get us the winning run. You earned it.”

  Nikki handed Mia the ball to hold before they left the school, knowing it would make her smile to present Madison with it. Nikki would give out hundreds of game balls in her career. One would not make a difference, but maybe it would for Mia. She needed a little good in her life right now.

  Madison sat looking at all of the signatures of her teammates. A single tear ran down her cheek.

  “Coach, they are giving me a cast. I can’t play the rest of the season.”

  “I know, it will be alright. Connie did just fine today. You just rest for now and come back stronger next year.”

  Mia could see how much Madison’s injury was hurting Nikki. Her jaw was tight and her voice strained. When Madison started to cry, she thought she saw something change in Nikki. Almost as if Nikki’s heart was breaking for her.

  They didn’t stay long. Madison was tired from the pain killers and would be going home soon anyway.

  Nikki and Mia walked to the car in silence, both afraid to speak. Nikki heard the crickets chirping and the wind as it ruffled the leaves of a nearby tree. She chanced a glance at Mia. Hoping to read Mia’s emotions, but there was nothing. Not the sorrow, joy or nervousness that was gripping Nikki. The truck felt too small, like there wasn’t enough air. There was so much Nikki wanted to say, but Mia had made it clear that she did not trust Nikki and would not hear her out. No matter what she tried, she couldn’t reach Mia. So she didn’t try. They sat in silence, driving Mia back to school. What if this was the last time they were alone together? Could she just let Mia get away again? Nikki pulled up to the small blue car and waited for Mia to walk out of her life.