Trusting Again

by Lo'Ren A Mayler

  Shilling led Michael out of the office.

  “I will be taking him straight to the hospital. I will put you on the restricted visitor list,” he said to Nikki. The sheriff shook everyone’s hand and exited with Michael.

  Richard took this opportunity to exit as well.

  “Guess I should go check on the dance. Make sure no one is too freaked out,” Richard said as he followed the sheriff out into the hall.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Nikki watched the men leave, then turned to Mia to see her tear-filled eyes.

  “Mia I’m sorry. I should have talked to you first, but I just couldn’t let him go back home to that….”

  Now Mia was the one to hurdle at Nikki. Her arms wrapped around Nikki’s neck and silenced any further explanations with a kiss.

  “There is no reason to apologize. I’m so proud of you. Of course you had to offer your help. It wouldn’t be you if you didn’t.” Mia seemed to sober a little from the shock and pain of the day and realized that she was holding Nikki, “But this doesn’t change...”

  “Please don’t make any decisions tonight. Just be here with me.”

  Mia smiled a little and touched Nikki’s face. She was right, they had enough turmoil today. Perhaps the answer was a little happiness, if only for a few hours.

  “You know, there is this event going on in the gym and I think I’m owed a dance.”

  Mia searched Nikki’s eyes, just as Michael had. Trying to pinpoint what exactly it was about her. What about her instilled trusted?

  “Are you sure? I get Richard knows, but the entire school?”

  It was the first time, since they met, that Nikki actually knew what to say.

  “Mia, hiding in plain site is still hiding.”

  “How did you get so smart?” Mia asked with a smile.

  “I had a good teacher.”

  Nikki took Mia’s hand and wrapped it around the crook of her arm. Escorting her towards the door. Mia allowed Nikki to lead them towards the prom.

  Suddenly, Mia stopped in her tracks.

  “Oh my god!” Mia said looking completely horrified.

  “What is it? What’s wrong?” Nikki was racking her brain. Trying to understand what she had missed. What else could possibly go wrong?

  “You were going to let me go in there? I probably have makeup running all over my face.”

  Nikki laughed for the first time in hours. Of all the things to worry about.

  “You look beautiful.”

  Mia insisted on going to the bathroom to clean up anyway. As she looked in the mirror Mia cried again. For everything that could have happen. For all the pain Michael was going through. Most of all, she cried because she knew she had to let go of the only thing that really mattered. To say goodbye to Nikki. Say goodbye to the one person that made her feel again. How could she ever let go? Her mascara had run from all the tears. When Mia finally pulled herself together, she cleaned up and was thankful that Nikki did not come in to check on her.

  They walked into the gym hand in hand. Students were dancing. The staff was talking. There was no sign of what just occurred. As if it never happened, but they both knew that it had.

  “Ready to start a riot,” Mia whispered.

  “As long as I’m with you.”

  A slow song started and Nikki led Mia to the dance floor. Bruno Mars “just the way you are” was playing. It was the first song Mia had recognized since moving here. Mia wasn’t looking to see anyone’s reaction. She had Nikki’s arms around her and that was all that mattered at the moment. Mia leaned her head on Nikki’s shoulder and just listened to the lyrics. The DJ played another slow song, probably since everyone was eating, which was fine with Mia. She didn’t want to let go of Nikki yet.

  As much as she was enjoying holding Mia, Nikki really was worried about the crowd’s reaction. It seemed silly in this day and age, but this was a small town. Nikki knew how it was when she was in school. The things said about lesbians. She felt a tap on the shoulder and looked over to see what problem she would have to face now.

  “Can I have this dance?” Wood asked. Nikki saw what he was doing and appreciated his show of support. She stepped aside to allow him to cut in.

  Nikki watched from the side of the gym. She didn’t know what they were talking about. When Mia smiled and looked at her, she was sure… somehow… some way… everything would work out. She didn’t try to understand it. There was no need. It wasn’t a logical thought, just a feeling.

  “You look amazing.”

  Nikki turned towards the voice.

  She knew it was a possibility Sam would be here. She had hoped to get through the night without any more drama. Too late.

  “Sam, we can’t keep having this conversation.”

  “No, I know. I just wanted to tell you, I am not going to be coaching anymore. I also might be moving.”

  So it was true.

  “Sam you don’t have to leave. Not because of me.”

  “Nikki, I can’t stay here and watch you be with her. Do you think, maybe, if she never came here…” Sam’s voice faded away.

  “No. It was always her, I just didn’t know it yet. I’m sorry.”

  Sam turned without another word and walk straight for the door.

  Nikki hadn’t noticed the song had ended until Mia joined her.

  “What was that all about?” Mia asked looking at Sam’s retreat.

  Nikki looked back to the door and the figure fading into the night.

  “Nothing really. She is…hurting. Do you want to go eat?”

  Mia raised her eyebrow in a question. Nikki had to bite her tongue to stop her reply. Her hands clenched at her sides. It still amazed Nikki. The physical response elicited by the simple, playful look in Mia’s eyes.

  “We are chaperones. We are not allowed to leave before the dance is over. Come on.”

  Nikki led her to the kitchen. The food was set up as a buffet. Most of it was donations from parents.

  “So are you going to tell me what you and Richard talked about?” The question was asked casually, but Nikki was dying to know.

  Mia shrugged, “He was just giving me some advice.”

  Well that is vague.

  “Are you going to take it?”

  Nikki hated not knowing, feeling like she was out of the loop. Obviously, the conversation was personal and Mia wasn’t going to share.

  “I’m not sure yet,” Mia studied Nikki’s face, as if the answer was written there. “Though I have to say, he has a very high opinion of you.”

  Okay, that is not really clear, but at least I know it had to do with me.

  “He’s a good guy, once you get to know him.”

  Sam never returned to the prom. They steered clear of the dance floor during faster songs. Leaving the floor to the students. It was their night after all, but occasionally Mia would steal a slow dance. She couldn’t resist the opportunity to be near Nikki, for as long as it lasted. No one had anything but nice things to say. The students were all smiling. The staff told Mia that she was getting a good one. To Nikki’s surprise there was no riot. They even got their picture taken together.

  The students were slowing leaving. They had to wait for every single one to be off the premises. Mia was laughing with a group of students. Nikki stood to the side observing Mia, her face alight. Watching the joy as it enveloped her like an embrace warmed Nikki’s heart. Never had she seen anything so dazzling as when Mia smiled.

  “Why are you still here?” Richard asked jarring Nikki from her wonderment.

  “She is having a great time. I didn’t want to take that from her.”

  “She does seem to be.”

  Richard’s gaze shifted to Nikki, “I just wanted to thank you,” he said as he shook her hand.

  “You don’t have to.” She was no hero. If she had only acted sooner. None of this would have happened. She played a hand in this as much as everyone else.

  “No, today could have been a horrible day. Bad fo
r the school, for Michael’s mother and it would have broken Mia. You knew something was wrong and did everything you could to fix it.”

  “I just wish I had tried to help sooner.”

  Nikki did not share Richard’s outlook. Honestly, it should have never been such a close call, if anyone had paid attention. Had given Michael the slightest bit of attention.

  “You cannot change the past. But because of you, Michael has a future. That has to be worth something.”

  “I guess you’re right,” Nikki said with a sigh. She knew it had forever changed her.

  “Nikki this is a good ending. Everyone is safe. Why do you sound so down?”

  “Yeah, I know. I’m glad Michael is safe. I just know that isn’t how Mia sees it. She blames me for not saying anything sooner. She thinks I was standing in the way of her helping him, before today. I just… I don’t think she is ever going to forgive me for it.”

  “I’m sorry to hear you’re hurting,” Richard said as he put his hand on her shoulder. “Give her time. She is a smart girl, but she has a hard time listening to her heart. Just hang in there.”

  Mia turned to see Richard and Nikki looking at her. It was clear they were close. Perhaps that is why Richard felt he could advise her on their relationship. It was sweet that he wanted to look after Nikki, but Mia just couldn’t trust herself. Tonight could have ended in disaster. Her head was in the clouds and she had missed all the signs. Too lost in lust to see what was right in front of her. Maybe Richard was right, everything worked out because it was meant to. Mia couldn’t take that chance. Maybe it would still be best for her to leave. She hadn’t gotten the paperwork from Richard yet. She could still look for an opening elsewhere. As much as it would hurt to leave, she was sure it was the only option.

  When Nikki walked towards her, it was like slow motion. Mia was conflicted. On the one hand, Nikki looked pramazingly-beautiful, as her students in Philly said. She just wanted to latch on to her and never let go. On the other, she knew that loving anyone was not a possibility for her. She couldn’t risk her heart. She couldn’t afford to lose anyone else, including Nikki. Her heart and head were at war. Did she have to decide tonight?

  “Richard gave us the go ahead if you’re ready.”

  Mia looked into Nikki’s eyes and couldn’t pull away. Nikki seemed to have her own gravitational pull, everyone was drawn to her and Mia was no exception. She couldn’t fight the force pulling her towards Nikki any more than she could stop breathing.

  “Absolutely, what took you so long? I’ve been ready for hours.”

  Nikki laughed grabbing her hand and leading her towards the limo. It was easy to find, since it was the last one left in the parking lot.

  They were professional up until the moment the door closed. Mia grabbed Nikki’s tie the instant she turned from the door. Mia was not normally aggressive, but all her bottled up emotions came out at once. Every ounce of her being was focused on the handsome woman next to her. She had wanted to touch Nikki all night. Mia quickly checked to make sure the partition was up, separating them from the driver. The tie was loosened, a couple buttons undone to free Nikki’s long slender neck.

  “I don’t think I can wait to get back to the house. Do you think there is a long enough ride for us to…?”

  There was a knock on the window. Nikki froze with her hand half up Mia’s dress.

  Both women sat up and attempted to straighten their clothes before Nikki put the window down.

  “Richard, I thought you said we were free to leave?”

  “I did, but it seems Mia forgot something.”

  Richard held up a teal sparkly purse by the handle. Nikki was sure he was trying to hold back a laugh. They only kissed for a couple seconds, but Nikki knew there was lipstick on her and her clothes were already in disarray. They were in such a hurry to be alone, neither had thought about gathering belongings.

  Mia blushed as Nikki took the item from Richard.

  “Thanks.”

  Richard leaned towards Nikki, “I don’t think that is your shade,” he laughed and took a step back, “I’ll see you two Monday. You kids be good.”

  Nikki closed the window, “Not likely.”

  They both burst into laughter.

  “I can’t believe I forgot my purse. What if he was a minute later or god forbid opened the door?”

  “I’m sure he knew not to open the door. Wonder what would make you forget it?”

  Mia slapped Nikki in the stomach with the back of her hand.

  “It’s your fault.”

  “How? What did I do?”

  “You were standing there smiling. Looking all dashing in your tux. I can’t be blamed for my actions.”

  “Is that right? You were thinking about my clothes?”

  “Precisely.”

  “So I guess you don’t want me to take it off then.”

  “Oh, shut up and pour me a drink,” Mia stated, trying to hide her smile and failing miserably.

  Any drive in this small town didn’t take long. Definitely not long enough for what Nikki was thinking. They enjoyed the champagne and were at the house in no time. Nikki opened the door and helped Mia out. She stepped directly into Nikki’s arms.

  “So, I know our plan but I don’t want to presume you’re staying. I could bring you home, if that’s what you want.”

  “Are you telling me that you don’t want me to come in?”

  “I would never say that.”

  Mia wrapped her hand around the black tie and was pulling her towards the house.

  “Good,” Mia said as she kissed Nikki, “because I would hate to think I wore you out already.”

  Mia pulled her all the way to the house. However, things proved to be a little more complicated when she tried to unlock the door. Mia wouldn’t stop kissing her long enough to find the key. Nikki pressed Mia up against the door. At last giving in to her desires and giving up on the door.

  Stopping a moment to breathe Nikki said, “You know if you don’t let me open that door, my neighbors are going to get quite a show.”

  “My mistake, I thought you were more talented.”

  Nikki finally found the key and was able to enter. She closed the door with Mia pressed up against it.

  “You’re gonna pay for that.”

  “I hope so,” Mia said with a smile.

  Kissing Mia’s neck as her hand slid up the dress. Nikki couldn’t wait for the bedroom. She moved Mia’s panties out of the way feeling her already wet center. Mia’s head slammed back against the door as Nikki entered her.

  “Oh…my….” Mia crooned.

  Nikki thrusted in and out loving the sound of Mia as she cried out. Not releasing her until she screamed with release. Nikki picked Mia up and carried her into the bedroom.

  She turned her back so the dress could be untied. Nikki pulled the string and moved the fabric off Mia’s shoulder. Watching as the garment slipped from her body.

  “That never gets old.”

  Mia felt Nikki’s hands slide to her breasts. Her nipples straining against the palms. Kisses trailed over her neck as hands slid down Mia’s body. She twisted her body so as to face Nikki.

  “Oh no. you don’t get to keep that tux on.”

  “But I thought you liked it on me?”

  “Not that much. Definitely not better than your birthday suit. Besides, the best part of a tux, is taking it off.” Mia unbuttoned the shirt. Then unbuckled her belt to remove the pants and boxer briefs. Leaving Nikki standing in nothing but her tie. “I like the tie. I think we should leave it on, for now.”

  “If it makes you happy.”

  Mia tugged on the tie, leading Nikki into bed, “Definitely.”

  They laid in bed, both spent after hours of love making. Every time they needed a rest and tried to stop, another wave of need crashed over them. Mia was wrapped in Nikki’s arms. Trailing her fingers over every muscle. Nikki held the hand, stopping all movement that threaten to derail her train of thought.

&nbs
p; “Mia.”

  Mia’s eyes met hers, “How could you possibly look sad?”

  Nikki kissed Mia’s fingers. She had been right, the nails had felt wonderful on her back.

  “You know I love you right?”

  “Oh honey, I know.”

  Mia kissed her, igniting the fire in Nikki’s stomach again. It didn’t take much to fan the flames back to a roaring fire. Mia was reaching all the right places, but it wasn’t an answer. Nikki stilled the busy hands again. She would not be distracted this time. It was too important.

  “Mia. Please.”

  But the begging only made Mia antsier. Nikki had to move away slightly to keep Mia from obliterating anything and everything she ever thought. All that had ever existed. The world would just disappear.

  “I’ve told you that I love you, twice. I think I deserve to at least know how you feel. What is this? Do you want more? Do you even want me? Or is this just, about this?”

  Nikki motioned at their intertwined bodies. Hunkering down, waiting for the bomb to drop. Absolutely petrified of the answer, but she needed to know.

  “Of course I do,” Mia said as she kissed Nikki’s lips. “That has always been the problem. I care too much about you. I don’t want to want more. I don’t want to love you. I’ve tried fighting it from the start, but it’s no use. I love you with all my heart.”

  Laying there with Nikki, Mia knew there was no more running. She realized if she ran again, she would lose more than if she stayed. She might hurt if she lost a student, but she would have no heart left without Nikki.

  “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.”

  “You should be sorry. I’m dying over here. What took you so long?”

  “You think you’re funny, huh? How about you give me back my hand so I can give you a reason to laugh.”

  Nikki rolled Mia onto her back and grasped both of her hands over her head.

  “I love you,” Nikki said as she ran her free hand down Mia’s stomach.

  “No. Please don’t. Not again,” Mia pleaded as she squirmed.

  “Are you sure? I thought you liked it.”

  “I’m positive.”

  Nikki passed Mia’s stomach and ran her fingers lightly over Mia’s clit.