Don't Rhine on My Parade

by Erin Evans

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  I was half expecting Cecily’s hand on my shoulder and I didn’t flinch.

  “Oh, Piper,” was all she said, but her voice was full of pain.

  My eyes were brimming with tears but I refused to let a single one fall. I had gone past anger, past rage, past fury, and into an emotion so strong that it consumed every other feeling. It wasn’t just my cat they had slaughtered, if indeed the lump of flesh and fur was Otis and not some other poor creature. They had come to my home. My home! My children and husband were inside, and they had stood outside and threatened us all. I knew what kind of respect they had for human life and realized that the step from killing a cat to killing my child was nothing to them.

  Cecily began to say something but the front door started to open.

  “Piper? Are you out there?” Mark asked.

  I pulled the door shut in his face, one hand sliding into the slippery mess of the pentacle.

  “Just a minute honey!” I thought quickly and said the first thing that came to mind, “There’s a wasp nest out here. Don’t let them in the house. I’m going to get the hose and spray it down.”

  “Okay,” my trusting, loving, husband, who deserved so much better than to be lied too, said. “You want me to get it?”

  “Nah,” I answered staring at the gore now spread on my hand. “I’ve got it.”

  Cecily squeezed my shoulder, “I’ll get the hose.”

  An instant later she was back and spraying off the door and walkway. I went to the garage and pulled out a couple Walmart bags. Using one like a glove, I picked up the two dismembered legs and wrapped them up in several layers of plastic. Within minutes there was nothing left but a wet door and front walk.

  When we finished I turned to Cecily, “Thank you.”

  She nodded and silently returned to her home. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before entering the house. I went through the garage and straight into the master bedroom. I didn’t feel up to facing anyone just yet. I fell face first on the bed and lay there wondering what in the world I was going to do. The bed sank down beside me and a furry head butted my forehead.

  “Meow,” Otis said, and started grooming my hair. “Ghack,” he spit out a piece that was stuck on his tongue and then started licking again.

  I didn’t move. I had known it wasn’t him on the front step. But the fact that it could have been him made me feel as bad as if it actually had been him. I rolled over and scooped him up in a hug.

  “I love you, you big orange throw rug,” I whispered and kissed the top on his head.

  He laid his ears back and struggled to get away, offended that I would dare touch him without his permission. I laughed and let go and watched him stalk to the end of the bed where he sat with his back to me, radiating outraged dignity.

  “Hey, babe,” Mark said entering the room, “the girls want a good night kiss.”

  I went to tuck them in again and they also complained that I held them to tight. “et go, mommy,” Cassie cried. “Too much huggin.”

  I stood and watched them for a while. Children truly were the most precious gift in the world. I knew that tomorrow or the next day they would do something to drive me nuts and I would talk about selling them to the gypsies, but I didn’t mean it. I would do anything to keep them safe.

  Mark was propped up in bed, reading a book, when I came back. “How’d it go with Sarah?” he asked.

  “Ugh.”

  “That good?”

  “Double Ugh.”

  He put his book down. “Are you okay, honey? Lately you seem a little stressed.”

  Stressed, hah. I’m not stressed. It’s just that the vampires and werewolves got me involved in a fight against some evil witches who want to kill humans so that they can harness their power and fight some invading aliens. That’s all. Nothing to get stressed about.

  “I’m fine,” I said instead, “just tired and feeling a little under the weather.”

  “Okay, you know if you ever need to talk about anything—” he smiled. “I’m always here for you, babe.”

  I smiled. “I know. I love you so much.”

  Liar, I said to my reflection in the bathroom mirror. Big, fat liar!

  The next morning, Cecily knocked on the sliding glass door seconds after Mark’s car pulled out of the driveway. I wondered briefly whether she came through the gate or just jumped the six-foot privacy fence around our back yard.

  “Hi!” Megan greeted her, “Wanna see my room?”

  “Finish your breakfast, Megan,” I scolded her, “and don’t talk with food in your mouth.”

  I poured myself a cup of coffee and offered one to Cecily. She happily poured a giant mug and then added what looked like a cup of sugar and a ton of half and half. I watched with narrowed eyes. My cup consisted of coffee, Splenda, and a small dash of half and half. Life wasn’t fair.

  She had downed her coffee and was pouring another before she explained her presence.

  “Can you get another babysitter today?” she asked.

  “Granny!” Megan shouted.

  I smiled a tight smile. “Why?”

  Cecily gave a non-subtle and very dramatic head shake at the girls, “You know …”

  “What?” Megan wanted to know. “What does Mommy know?”

  “Everything, sweetie,” I answered.

  “Everything? Did you know when I snuck out of bed last night and got a drink of water after you and Daddy were asleep?”

  Mentally I rolled my eyes, “I do now.”

  “Ooh,” she was impressed, “you do know everything! Wow! How do mommies know everything?”

  “Special mommy magic.”

  “Oh!” That made total sense to her and, after getting the remnants of their breakfasts wiped off their faces, she and Cassie ran off to play.

  “Is today the day?” I asked Cecily.

  She gave me a bright, cheery, and totally unconvincing smile, “Yup! The big day! The Synod will hear your case at noon today.”

  “Yay,” I said flatly.

  “Yay,” she agreed.

  I rubbed my eyes. This was definitely a two cups of coffee day. Maybe even a peanut butter and syrup waffle day. After all, who cares about getting fat when the end of the world is near?

  On the other hand, if it wasn’t the end of the world, I would regret the extra calories. But I would be alive to regret them and the joy of that might overwhelm the pain of not being able to button my jeans. But, if I was going to break all dieting protocol and eat a waffle, maybe I should just go get some donuts and do it in style. Those would really add some numbers to my scale. Which brought me back full circle. What to hope for, that it was the end of the world and I could eat whatever I wanted because it no longer mattered, or that it wasn’t the end of the world and stick to my diet? What if I chose wrong? Decisions, decisions!

  “What are you thinking?” Cecily wanted to know.

  “I’m wondering what my jeans would look like if I glued a couple of donuts to my butt,” I sighed, deciding to play it safe and optimistic.

  “Sticky?”

  “Yeah.” I sighed again.

  “Do I want to know what you’re talking about?”

  “Not really.”

  “Okay.” There was silence in the kitchen. “Okay,” she repeated. “Be ready to go at eleven?”

  “Okay,” I echoed.

  She looked at me in concern but evidently decided that there wasn’t much to say at a time like this. She slipped quietly out the way she had come, taking my coffee mug with her. She’d better return it; it was one of my favorites.

  I turned on my cell phone for the day and saw I had received a message the night before. It was my mother.

  “Hi, Piper. I hope the girls are doing well. Tell them I miss them and give them a kiss from me! We’re having a wonderful time out here with your sister. I can’t seem to find my cell phone charger, so it died and I’m calling you from Karen’s home phone. Anyways, I just h
ad a call from my friend Emily, you remember her don’t you? She always makes such lovely apple pies for the church pot-luck suppers. She called to tell me that she had bothered you about Sarah and that she was totally mistaken. Sarah went over to visit her and got the whole thing cleared up. It wasn’t her at all in the parking lot; Emily must have mistaken her for someone else. Or someone else for her? Oh dear, did that make sense? Oh well, you know what I mean. I just thought I should call you and tell you to apologize to your sister. Apparently Sarah told Emily that you had been quite harsh with her. Anyway we’re going out for dinner now, so, give me a call here later if you need to talk. Love you! Bye!”

  I pursed my lips in thought. Hmm. I had been so sure that Sarah was lying. Why was I assuming the worst about her? Maybe I really did have it out for her. I should cut her some slack, and the next time I saw her I would definitely apologize. It was not helping our relationship for me to have to play the authority figure like this. I would be so happy when my parents got home and it was all on their shoulders. I had enough on my plate right now with my own girls.

  I shuddered a bit at the thought that one day they would treat me the way my sister treated my mother.

  I almost dialed Karen’s number to talk to my mom but realized that, with the time difference, she probably wouldn’t be awake yet. I stared at the phone in my hand and tapped my foot on the floor. I needed to ask Carolyn to babysit again.

  There was some sort of energy force field surrounding the phone and preventing my fingers from dialing! Argh! Grow up, Piper! It’s just a simple phone call!

  I dialed.

  “Hello?”

  “Good morning, Carolyn, it’s Piper.”

  “I’m flattered, Piper. Two phone calls in two days! I would love to assume that you were calling to chat but history leads me to believe that you want something. What is it?”

  I curled my lips back in a snarl and did an angry dance step around the kitchen to release energy. “I am calling to ask for another favor, Carolyn,” I said as sweetly as I could.

  “Yes, what is it?

  “Could you watch the girls again this afternoon?” I blurted out, “It will only be for a few hours but I really need to go out again.”

  “Really? Well, of course I would love to see my grandchildren. I believe that it is important to spend frequent, quality time with children to build an atmosphere of trust and love. Apparently some people don’t agree with that, but no matter. In my day I relied exclusively on the advice of my mother-in-law, I understand that the more modern woman looks things up on the internet.” She said ‘internet’ like it was a dirty word.

  I shook my head, did she mean that I wasn’t spending enough time with my kids, which in turn would mean she would get to spend less time, or did she mean that I didn’t let her spend enough time with them? I wasn’t going to touch that or the asking for advice comment.

  “Why thank you, Carolyn! I really appreciate it! I need to leave here at eleven, if that’s ok.”

  “Fortunately I have no other plans that I would have to drop to come to your last minute request.”

  “All right then! I’ll see you a little before eleven!” I said between clenched teeth. “Goodbye!” and I hung up without waiting to hear anything else. Why did she have to make it so hard to like her? Maybe she was secretly an ogre who turned green and warty at the full moon. That would explain a lot.

  Harvey barked at the back door and I walked over to let him out. He promptly forgot why he wanted to go out and circled back around to come in the house.

  “Uh, uh,” I chided with the Voice, “Go into the back yard and go potty on the bush. Now.”

  He trotted happily off to obey, relieved himself and scampered back into the house. Why couldn’t everything be so easy? You would think that someone with the power to make people obey them would have no problems at all in their life. I should be able to control everything to my heart’s desire. Granted, there was the pesky little problem of turning immortal, but how bad would that be? I thought about it for a second. Okay, so it would be bad. And Mark would probably be angry if he found out that I was puppet mastering him.

  Why couldn’t I have gotten a more useful ability? Speed now, speed would be cool. Imagine if I could clean the house in a second. Or, while I was making wishes, how about no power at all? How about a plain normal life like the one I thought I had up until a couple of days ago? Yeah, the Sentinel Synod might vote to make humans number one on the menu, but they might do that anyway. It wouldn’t be my fault, and it wouldn’t be my problem except in a survival sort of way. I thought about that for a minute and decided that, in this case, ignorance would be bliss right up to the point where you were slaughtered by a hungry werewolf, and then you might wish you had carried your shotgun with you.