Sierra Jensen Collection, Vol 4 Sierra Jensen Collection, Vol 4

by Robin Jones Gunn

  But then she recalled Paul’s red face and arms folded across his chest. That image made her smile against her will. So the man’s got fire in his spirit, she thought.

  She had never seen that side of him. Some things don’t come up in written words, even after dozens of letters. The maddening thing was, Paul’s ability to communicate so clearly what he was thinking and feeling only made Sierra adore him more than ever. She knew she could never love or respect a guy who couldn’t match her zeal. And she certainly didn’t want to end up with a guy who would let her bulldoze him with fiery words. That revelation acted as cool water, quenching the fire within her.

  Sierra lifted the silver daffodil from the end of the chain around her neck and pressed the cool metal to her lips. Oh Paul, I’m sorry. Please come back. I want to apologize. Father God, can’t You make him come back? I can’t let the sun go down on my anger. I need to make things right with Paul.

  In the silence, Sierra thought, waited, and prayed. When Katie didn’t call, Sierra decided to ease her loneliness by eating a granola bar and drinking some apple juice. It proved an unsatisfying solution.

  Just as she was about to start in on a second granola bar, she heard a knock on her door. It was Katie, and she was shaking her head.

  “I couldn’t find him. He must have parked out front and taken off immediately. I’m sorry, Sierra. I’ve been thinking about all this, and I really feel bad. I never should have jumped to those conclusions about Paul without all the facts.”

  “I know,” Sierra said. “But it’s my fault, not yours. It was my assumption, not yours.”

  Katie flopped onto Vicki’s empty bed and lay on her back, staring at the ceiling. “Have you prayed about everything yet?”

  “Yes.”

  “And what do you think you should do?”

  “I don’t know. I want to talk to him.”

  “We could take Baby Hummer and go down to Paul’s house in San Diego, or you could borrow Baby Hummer and go by yourself.” Katie turned on her side and faced Sierra, who was sitting tensely on the edge of her bed.

  “I don’t know where his house is. Maybe I could call Tawni and ask her for directions.”

  “Do you have the address?” Katie asked. “We could look it up on the Internet.”

  “What if he calls here?” Sierra said. “What if he drives halfway home and calms down the way I have? What if he comes back here or calls? Oh, I wish I had a cell phone!”

  “I could go find someone who has their laptop already online, and you could wait here,” Katie suggested.

  “You would do that for me?” Sierra asked.

  “Are you kidding? As the last honorary member of the P.O. Club, I find it my duty to serve former members whenever the opportunity arises.”

  It took Sierra a moment to remember what Katie was referring to. When she did, she smiled. “Oh, right, our little ‘Pals Only Club’ we dreamed up in England. You and I vowed to be only pals with guys so we wouldn’t have to experience all the emotional trauma our friends were going through with their boyfriends.” Sierra felt a little sad as she said, “Looks as though I might be back in the club after I talk to Paul. That is, if he still wants to even be friends with me.”

  “He will,” Katie said confidently. “When I saw him standing there next to you, I immediately knew who he was, and honestly, my first thought was that you two look like you belong together.”

  “Why do you say that?”

  “You just do. Some couples match. You know, like Doug and Tracy, and Christy and Todd. Paul and you go together.”

  Sierra let out a sigh. “Yeah, well, we’ll see.”

  eighteen

  A FEW MINUTES after Katie left the room, the phone rang. For half a second, Sierra considered not answering it. That’ll show him, she thought defiantly. He thinks I’m waiting for him to call. But Sierra had never been good at playing hard to get, so she lunged for the receiver on the second ring.

  “Good, you’re there,” the male voice said on the other end.

  Sierra sighed. “I’m not interested in getting something to eat, if that’s what you’re going to ask, Wesley.”

  “No, I’m not offering food. I want to ask a favor.”

  “Well, what is it? This is kind of a bad time.”

  “I want to know if you would go to the chapel in about ten minutes.”

  “Why?”

  There was a pause. “This is really important, Sierra. I have rarely asked you to do anything for me. I’m asking that, just this once, you do something for me without all the details up front. All you have to do is say yes or no. Can you go to the prayer chapel in about ten minutes?”

  Sierra drew in a deep breath. “Oh, all right.” She figured that by the time she had completed this silly secret mission of Wesley’s and returned to her room, Katie would be back with the map. If Paul did call while she was gone, he would leave a message for her, and she could call him back and talk to him with a much calmer spirit. “I’ll be there in ten minutes, Wesley.”

  “That’s great. Thanks, Sierra.”

  She hung up the phone and gave herself a quick look in the mirror. Her hair had dried during her “heated” discussion with Paul. Her black eye had toned down some, and none of her previous fiery or queasy feelings now showed in her skin tone. She scribbled a quick note to Katie, grabbed her room key, and left the note on her door.

  As Sierra hiked across campus, she figured out Wes wanted to meet with her to instruct her not to jump to conclusions about Paul. The prayer chapel was probably the most private place on campus. If her brother was going to lecture her, it might as well be in private. Well, she had news for him. She had already figured out she shouldn’t jump to conclusions. What she hadn’t quite figured out was how to make peace with Paul. She hoped Wes would be in an extra-understanding mood when she told him everything, and he would be able to give her some advice.

  Sierra thought it was ironic that now she wanted her brother’s advice. It made her realize how much her opinions had been swinging back and forth the past few days. If this was all part of getting used to being on her own and charting her way through her relationship with Paul, then Sierra hoped she could find some calm middle ground soon.

  Rancho Corona’s campus covered nearly twenty acres on the top of a mesa. The prayer chapel was on the southwest corner of the mesa, and the walk there, in the cool of the evening, refreshed Sierra. She thought of how the Bible talked about the Lord God walking with Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden in the cool of the evening. It made her wonder what that must have been like, to walk and talk with God. Then it struck her that the same God who went walking with the first woman was still here, invisibly walking beside her, down this trail past the large meadow.

  Sierra impulsively began to talk with God aloud. “I guess Paul and I aren’t the first man and woman to have a conflict, are we?” she said. “Not that it’s a good thing, but it’s not unusual, is it?”

  Only the evening breeze answered her with soothing strokes across her cheeks. Suddenly Sierra realized that her most important relationship was with God. He would never leave her. He would never make incorrect assumptions about her because He already knew everything. He would never give up on His relationship with her because He had promised in His Word that His love for her was forever.

  Picking up her pace, Sierra felt eager to reach the prayer chapel. She wanted to have time to kneel and pray in that quiet, holy place before Wes arrived. She wanted to reaffirm her commitment to Christ and ceremoniously surrender her relationship with Paul. An urgency seemed to envelop her, and when she turned onto the path that led to the chapel, the wind seemed to push her forward into the chapel’s sanctuary.

  Opening the door cautiously and peering inside, Sierra was glad to see no one was there. She tiptoed up to the altar at the front of the chapel and got down on her knees, folding her hands to pray. Above the altar was a stained glass window that bore the emblem of the ranch that had occupied this mesa years ago.
It was a gold crown with a cross coming out of the center of it at a slant. She bowed her head and noticed how the evening sunlight spilled through the golden glass that formed the crown and settled in a shining circle around Sierra’s heart.

  She closed her eyes and prayed in a whisper, “Lord God, thank You so much for bringing me here to Rancho. I want to honor You with my life. I want what You want for the relationships in my life, especially with Paul. God, forgive me for messing things up, and please give us a fresh start. I don’t know how to do this boyfriend-girlfriend thing. Will You teach me? I want to trust You in every way with every area of my life. I love You, Jesus.”

  With her whispered “Amen,” Sierra heard the chapel’s door open, and she wondered if she should jump up before Wes saw her kneeling at the altar. But it didn’t matter to her. She had just shared a meaningful moment with the same Lord God who had walked with Eve in the garden. Sierra had no reason to run and hide the way Eve had when she disobeyed. Sierra had been forgiven. She knew it. She could face God and Wes without shame.

  Sierra didn’t turn to look at her brother. Instead, she listened as his footsteps approached. She wanted to linger one more moment, gazing at the light coming through the stained glass window and reveling in the fresh, clean feeling that had come over her.

  She felt her brother’s hand on her shoulder and impulsively pressed her cheek against it. Then with a quick kiss on his knuckle, she said, “I know what you’re going to say.”

  “Oh, do you?” the voice behind her answered. But it wasn’t Wesley’s voice.

  Sierra froze.

  Paul knelt beside her. She slowly turned her head to look at him, all her defenses down. “I’m sorry,” she said, the instant her eyes met his.

  “I’m sorry, too. I’m not sure what happened,” Paul said. “But instead of leaving, I decided to talk to your brother, and I’m glad I did.”

  Sierra noticed Paul had on a clean shirt. It was one of Wesley’s new, short-sleeved, blue cotton shirts. Paul smelled fresh, too. He obviously had calmed down—maybe in a cold shower—and was ready to talk the way Sierra was.

  “You know what I think?” Paul said.

  Sierra waited for him to go on.

  “I think we got off track. I’d like to get back on track.”

  “I would, too,” Sierra said. “Only now I understand I had way too many expectations and assumptions.”

  “I did, too,” Paul said. “Can we start again and take it nice and slow?”

  Sierra nodded.

  “I need to apologize for not communicating more clearly before we went for our walk on the beach. I realize I was being very familiar with you physically. That’s why I was trying to say I didn’t want our relationship to go in that direction. It could become an expectation that every time we see each other we have to hold hands or whatever just to keep the relationship at the same level. Does that make sense?”

  “Yes,” Sierra said, adjusting her position so now she was sitting on the floor in front of the altar.

  “I’ve written out these verses I found in First Thessalonians.” Paul settled in on the floor across from her. They both were speaking in hushed tones and using tender expressions, a vast difference from their earlier confrontation. He pulled a folded piece of paper from his back pocket and said, “This is what I want for our relationship.”

  He read the first eight verses of chapter four quickly, and Sierra asked him to go back and read part of it again.

  “For God wants you to be holy and pure, and to keep clear of all sexual sin so that each of you will marry in holiness and honor.” Paul looked at Sierra and said, “I don’t know whose wife you’re going to be someday, but I don’t want to dishonor that guy, whoever he is, or you, by taking anything that is meant for him alone.”

  Sierra felt her heart melting into a little puddle.

  “So I don’t want to take advantage of you by becoming too physically involved.”

  “You know what, Paul? I don’t want to take advantage of you either. And I don’t want to steal anything that belongs to your future wife. But I have to tell you something: I really pay attention to your words. What you say to me or write to me is how I gauge our relationship. So if you write incredible poems just for me, I’m thinking our relationship is deepening. Your poems may be saying more to me than you mean for them to.”

  “I didn’t realize that.”

  “I know you’ve been careful with your words to me in your letters, but I have to tell you, your words capture my heart.”

  Paul nodded his understanding. “I guess that’s similar to how it was for me when we were on the beach and you were so free with your physical expressions. I think I took it to mean more than it was.”

  Sierra shrugged. “I’m a rookie at this. Now I know not to be so expressive.”

  “And I’ll watch my words.”

  Paul reached out and, touching the silver daffodil around Sierra’s neck, said, “But don’t go too far the other way and clam up, Sierra. I’ve always admired your zealous spirit. I like the way you openly and honestly express yourself.”

  “But it wouldn’t hurt if I tried to control that zeal a little more, right?”

  Paul tilted his head. “Maybe. And I need to control my poetic spirit, right?”

  “Maybe,” Sierra said, smiling at him. “So, where do we go from here?”

  “I think I know,” Paul said, letting go of the necklace and holding out his hand, inviting her to take it. Sierra slipped her hand into his, and Paul held it lightly. He looked at the blue and amber hues of the stained glass windows that were sprinkled across their hands. “We just keep going from here, helping each other learn how to live controlled lives of sanctification and honor.”

  “And lives that are a little more balanced,” Sierra said, thinking of how much she had been swinging emotionally back and forth the last few days.

  “Balanced,” Paul repeated. “And since the next chapter in First Thessalonians says to greet one another with a holy kiss, here’s my answer to that balance.” Paul lifted her hand to his lips. With hushed words, he said, “This is from my heart to yours. A holy kiss for the Daffodil Queen.” Paul tenderly kissed the top of Sierra’s hand as only a romantic poet would.

  She smiled, repressing the impulse to throw her arms around his neck and return his kiss on his lips. To her surprise, Sierra found she could sit there, without having to act on the impulse. She remembered Christy’s story about the piggy bank, and Sierra secretly decided that she had just saved a very huge kiss for her future husband in her invisible piggy bank.

  “You interested in getting some dinner?” Paul asked.

  “Sure,” Sierra said, feeling settled and at peace about where their relationship was and where it was headed.

  Paul stood and offered her his hand to pull her up. She rose, and together they left the quiet chapel. The air around them seemed charged with a holy presence. Sierra imagined that Adam and Eve must have experienced the same somber stillness when the Lord God walked with them in the cool of the evening.

  “He’s here, you know,” Sierra said to Paul.

  “I know,” Paul said.

  They paused just long enough to watch the bright orange September sun dip into the horizon. Then, circled by the golden light of God’s presence and His promise, Paul and Sierra walked side by side along the trail that led toward the campus and on toward their future.

  Follow Sierra’s Journey

  SIERRA JENSEN

  Volume One: In Only You, Sierra, she’s nervous to be the “new girl” after her family moves to Portland and wonders if meeting Paul in London was only by chance. Just when everything important seems to elude her, all it takes is one weekend In Your Dreams to prove otherwise. But even a vacation doesn’t keep her troubles away in Don’t You Wish.

  Volume Two: Paul’s voice lives in her memory, but now it’s loud, clear, and right behind her in Close Your Eyes. With summer fast approaching, it is Without a Doubt bound to be Sierra�
��s best yet. In With This Ring, she can’t help but ponder the meaning of first kisses and lifetime commitments.

  Volume Three: An exciting trip to Europe challenges Sierra to Open Your Heart to loving others without expectations. At the start of her senior year, only Time Will Tell the truth about Sierra’s friendships. And in Now Picture This, she wonders if her relationship with Paul is as picture perfect as she thinks!

  Volume Four: In this final volume, Sierra Jensen’s only just beginning the roller coaster of adventures leading up to college. Join her in this exciting, challenging time of faith and fun!

  Available Now!

  www.ChristyMillerAndFriends.com

  Can’t get enough of ROBIN JONES GUNN?

  Robin’s beloved Christy Miller series is now available for the first time in collectible 3-in-1 hardback editions.

  Christy Miller Collection, Volume 1

  Book 1: Summer Promise, Book 2: A Whisper and a Wish, Book 3: Yours Forever

  Christy Miller Collection, Volume 2

  Book 4: Surprise Endings, Book 5: Island Dreamer, Book 6: A Heart Full of Hope

  Christy Miller Collection, Volume 3

  Book 7: True Friends, Book 8: Starry Night, Book 9: Seventeen Wishes

  Christy Miller Collection, Volume 4

  Book 10: A Time to Cherish, Book 11: Sweet Dreams, Book 12: A Promise Is Forever

  AVAILABLE NOW!

  www.ChristyMillerAndFriends.com

  Don’t Miss the Next Chapter in Christy Miller’s Unforgettable Life!

  Follow Christy and Todd through the struggles, lessons, and changes that life in college will bring. Concentrating on her studies, Christy spends a year abroad in Europe and returns to campus at Rancho Corona University. Will Todd be waiting for her? CHRISTY AND TODD: THE COLLEGE YEARS follows Christy into her next chapter as she makes decisions about life and love.